


You Are Home

by XelynCraft



Series: Home [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hate Crimes, I'm winging this as I go, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Mentions of past child abuse, More tags will be added as I add chatpers, Profanity, Simon has a past, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, mentions of past trauma, mentions of sex crimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:41:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 90,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23679340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XelynCraft/pseuds/XelynCraft
Summary: Simon has been homeless for a long time. Most nights he stays at a specific homeless shelter, whose frequent volunteers know him well, due to his willingness to lend a hand and earn his keep. He's become such a help to them that they've come to depend on him to keep things running smoothly. Everyone working at the shelter seems to adore Simon, but few actually know him well enough to understand exactly what he's been through and the secrets he hides.Markus is a certified caregiver for the elderly and an aspiring artist. One of his clients, Carl, who just so happens to be a successful painter that is well respected in the artistic community, sees the potential in Markus and is trying to encourage and teach him. However, as an artist, Markus is far too hard on himself, and allows his lack of inspiration to discourage him. That is, until he follows some of Carl's advice, which leads him to a specific homeless shelter.Upon meeting Simon, Markus may just have found the inspiration he needs not only for his art, but also for finding direction in life. In turn, when Simon meets Markus, he may have found a new home, not just a place to live, but somewhere to belong and feel loved.
Relationships: Markus & Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Markus/Simon (Detroit: Become Human)
Series: Home [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1827136
Comments: 242
Kudos: 208





	1. Lost Together

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic, normally I write my own original stories and am currently working on a huge project as well as other smaller ones. Although this is one of my smaller projects, I have big plans for it and intend to update as often as I can. Currently there is no set schedule though. Please bear with me. Also, I know the DBH fandom isn't as active as it used to be, but I don't care. I only recently discovered the game and fell in love with it, as well as the characters, especially these two, so I'm writing it for myself more than anything. I only hope that you can enjoy it as readers as well. That being said, let's get to the good stuff, shall we?
> 
> EDIT: I lied, this is a huge project and I have had to break it up into two parts (at least). I just finished part 1 and will begin writing part 2 soon, so don't freak out when the ending seems like it has an awful lot of loose ends still. More is coming, I promise.

Christmas was always an especially hard time for the homeless population of Detroit. Most of the people at the shelter had no family, or if they did, they weren’t able to spend the holidays with loved ones. Some weren’t even welcome to return to their families, having been disowned and evicted from their homes.

Simon was one such soul. It had been years since he’d been thrown out of his parent’s house and forced to live on the streets. The last Christmas he’d spent with family seemed like a lifetime ago. He’d only been a naïve fourteen year old boy back then. Now here he was, an entire twelve years later, huddled up against the cold cement wall of the homeless shelter with a thin blanket wrapped around his shoulders, doing his best just to stay warm as the snow fell outside.

Despite the many bodies crowded into the old building, the heating furnace wasn’t the most efficient unit and blew only lukewarm air out of the vents. Simon had never been a fan of the cold, but it was especially hard on him after everything he’d been through since becoming homeless. It caused his muscles to tense and his joints to lock up like an old man. He was only twenty six, but after all the abuse his body had endured in that short lifetime, he might as well be a hundred.

Simon’s lithe frame curled in on itself to try and trap what little heat was left radiating from his core. His knees were pulled up to this chest and his arms wrapped tightly around them, slender fingers gripping at the rough material of the blanket around his shoulders to keep it in place. He was shivering and his head was tucked down so his face couldn’t be seen. Only his blonde hair peeked out of the blanket tightly wrapped around him.

“Hey, Si. We could use your help in the kitchen if you’re willing.” A rich feminine voice, warm and familiar, caused Simon to lift his head just enough that his light blue eyes could acknowledge the speaker.

Simon was a well known participant in this shelter. Not just as someone that used it often, but also as someone that helped out when he could. It’s one of the reasons he was almost never turned away here, because they knew he was willing work in exchange for a bed. So when Rose, one of the volunteers that ran the place, smiled down at him and asked if he’d help, Simon returned her smile.

“Of course,” Simon said, slowly raising himself off the floor. He had to fight the pain in his stiff joints, but made it to his feet alright and followed Rose as she started to lead him back towards the kitchens.

“I really appreciate you being willing to help, especially tonight. We want to give you all a nice Christmas Eve dinner,” Rose smiled at him over her shoulder. “We got some nice new volunteers helping out in getting food ready for everyone, but we could still use an extra set of hands. Besides, it’s warmer in the kitchens and you looked cold.”

Simon chuckled a bit at that. Nothing got past Rose, of course she’d notice him shivering in the corner.

“Warmth sounds good,” he nodded, still hugging the blanket around himself.

She was right, too. The moment Simon walked into the kitchen, he felt the heat from the ovens and stovetops radiating out into the room to chase the cold away from his skin. He wanted nothing more than to curl up in his blanket right next to one of the ovens and sleep, but he knew he couldn’t. Simon had said he would help, and so he would.

Despite his reluctance to give up his blanket, Simon didn’t even hesitate to discard the square of scratchy fabric into a chair near the entryway and get straight to work. He already knew his way around this kitchen pretty well, having helped out many times in the past with providing meals for the other homeless patrons seeking shelter here. He maneuvered his way around the other volunteers to get to the sink, guilty of taking a little longer than necessary to wash his hands just so he could feel the hot water warm up his fingers. Once his hands were clean, finding the PPE wasn’t difficult and he slipped a pair of latex gloves on before returning to Rose.

“Where do you need me?” he asked, eager to help.

Rose glanced around at the other volunteers carrying out their tasks with a thoughtful expression before extending a hand to point in the direction she wanted him to go.

“You can help my son, Adam, and that other man in dishing up plates. I can’t remember his name, he’s not one of our regular volunteers, but he seems nice enough and you know Adam will give you good instructions,” Rose patted the blonde male on the shoulder before turning to check on a pot of something simmering away on the stove and smelling far more appetizing than Simon thought it had the right to.

Doing as Rose asked, Simon left her side to go meet up with her son and see what he could do. When he reached the table Adam and another figure were working at, he focused on the familiar face first.

“Hey Adam,” Simon addressed the dark skinned male with a friendly smile.

They were about the same age, Adam only being a year younger than Simon. Maybe that was why they always seemed to get along well even though neither knew much about the other. They still acted like casual friends every time they met. Adam only showed up at the shelter to help his mother out occasionally, but he usually paired up with Simon for tasks and they always had fun volunteering together.

“Your mother said I should help you,” Simon explained.

“Yeah, yeah! Just make sure to get a little bit of everything on each plate and then cover it up with foil and put it over here so it’s ready to go,” Adam said, motioning towards everything as he spoke.

Simon nodded his head and took a paper plate out of the stack to start spooning food onto. When he reached for the nearest item of food, his fingers wrapped around someone else’s hand instead of the dishing spoon and he instantly recoiled.

“I’m sorry! I wasn’t paying attention, it was an accident,” Simon quickly apologized, holding the offending hand to his chest while he waited his turn.

Luckily, the man who’s hand he’d just touched didn’t seem at all upset. On the contrary, an amused laugh came from him, causing Simon to finally take a good look at the other volunteer helping with this particular task.

His features were striking; a heart shaped face, dark brown hair shaved close to the scalp, full lips, and light eyes that contrasted his dusky complexion. Simon couldn’t help but think his smile made him even more handsome.

“Don’t worry about it. With this many hands all grabbing for the same stuff, it’s bound to happen a few times. Hell, it’s already happened once or twice with just Adam and I working over here. No one can really get upset when another pair of hands is thrown in the mix and we end up bumping into each other,” the man reassured with a light hearted tone, still smiling as he held a hand out for Simon to take on purpose this time.

The blonde looked down at the offer hesitantly before slowly extending his own hand. Simon’s pale fingers slipped into the strangers and were gripped firmly.

“I’m Markus,” he said, shaking Simon’s hands with a grip that seemed much more confident than the limp fish the blonde was giving in return.

“…Simon.”

Physical contact hadn’t been a source of anxiety for Simon when he was younger, but after some unpleasant experiences he’d been through since becoming homeless, it had definitely become something that made him nervous. But this guy was being nothing but friendly, there was no reason for Simon to be acting as standoffish as he was. _“Pull yourself together, Simon”_ he thought to himself as he retracted his hand and blinked a few times. Probably more times than was necessary.

“Si, can you pass me another plate?” Adam interrupted, and Simon was glad he broke the awkward silence before it had a chance to settle.

“Of course.” Simon handed him a paper plate from the stack and resumed the task at hand, filling up the plate in his own hands with food.

“How about I move over here and wrap the plates you guys fill? That way I’m not getting in your way and you don’t have to worry about the foil,” Markus suggested, already moving from his place across the table from Simon to stand next to him at the end, forming a sort of assembly line.

“Good idea!” Adam finished filling a plate and handed it to him, seeming to like this new arrangement.

Simon kept silent, but added the last food item onto his own plate before handing it to Markus as well. The system seemed to work well, because they continued like this for several minutes without further problems.

Their little group didn’t seem too talkative compared to the rest of the volunteers filling the kitchen with their voices and the sounds of cookware clanking together and food simmering on the heat. Simon was content with the lack of conversation. He’d always been rather quiet himself. But it seemed it was bothering Markus, because the male broke the silence in an attempt to make casual small talk.

“So, Adam told me he comes here to volunteer sometimes because his Mom is one of the people running the place. You two seem to know each other, so does that mean you volunteer here often as well, Simon?”

There was nothing but curiosity in Markus’ voice and his question was innocent enough, but Simon bit his bottom lip, knowing the answer wouldn’t quite be what he was expecting.

“Actually,” He hesitated for a moment, not looking Markus in the eye as he dished some mashed potatoes onto a plate. “I’m one of the lost souls that spends the night in this shelter on a regular basis.”

The plate in Simon’s hand was passed to Markus and he took the opportunity to glance at the other, gauging his reaction. The surprise on those features didn’t make them any less striking. Still, Markus didn’t say anything, just tilted his head slightly, indicating he was waiting for Simon to further his explanation.

“I’ve been homeless for a long time, but I try to help out here as much as I can. I figure it’s the least I can do to earn my keep. Besides, I want to help others like me in any way I can. It’s not doing much, but I know firsthand how much even a little bit can mean,” Simon mumbled, returning his attention to the work.

“That’s… That’s really admirable.” Markus’ voice held a certain reverence to it that made Simon want to laugh.

“No, not really,” he chuckled, handing him another plate.

“Don’t be modest, Si. Mom always says you help out here more than any of the other volunteers do. I’ve seen it too,” Adam added to the conversation.

Simon only shook his head in response, though he couldn’t help but smile a bit as he did so.

“What about you, Markus?” Simon found he liked to say the other male’s name. There was something about it that was just pleasing to hear. “I’ve never seen you here before. Is this your first time volunteering at a shelter?”

Markus smiled again and Simon found that he liked that too.

“Well, yeah, actually. I feel bad saying it, but it had never even occurred to me to help out with something like this until one of my friends suggested it. Well, ok, technically he’s a client of mine, but I still consider him a close friend. In fact, I’d go as far as to call him family.” Markus chuckled nervously, realizing he was babbling. “Anyways, I mentioned to him that I’ve been feeling kind of… lost lately, and he told me that the best way to find myself was to stop focusing so much on me and start focusing on other people; reach out and help someone else. He said, even though it sounds counter intuitive, losing myself in the service of others is the best way to find myself.” Markus gave another small laugh before shrugging his shoulders. “He’s always been good at giving sagely advice, wise old codger that he is. So, I figured I would give it a try. It’s kind of a selfish reason to be here, but hey, at least I’m here, right?”

Simon shook his head again, looking at Markus with kind eyes. “I don’t think it’s selfish. I hope his advice proves useful to you and you do find yourself. I think we’re all lost in a way, maybe to differing degrees and in different ways. But when we reach out for each other, at least then we aren’t alone, and then being lost isn’t so scary.”

“Man, I know Christmas is a time for sappy, touching moments, but this is like something straight out of a Hallmark movie special,” Adam’s comment shattered the conversation in the best way possible and all three of them began to giggle uncontrollably.

They carried on like that, cracking jokes and getting to know each other better as they finished getting all the plates ready for the shelter occupants. Even well after the work was done, Markus and Adam chose to stick around, inviting Rose and a few of the other volunteers to join them as they shared Christmas Eve dinner together. Simon wasn’t surprised that Rose and Adam chose to stay, having the big hearts that they did, he knew that they felt more at home spending Christmas Eve helping out at the shelter than they would at their home. Especially after Rose’s husband had passed. He was a little surprised that Markus stuck around though.

Surely Markus had family that he could be spending the holidays with. Christmas was meant to be shared with loved ones, so why would Markus choose to eat dinner with the homeless instead of returning home to share a feast with his family? Simon almost asked him but was never able to work up the nerve. It seemed like it might be a mistake to ask something so personal when he’d only just met him.

Besides, he was enjoying the man’s company too much to want to jinx it. He’d only just met him, but Simon couldn’t help but feel inexplicably drawn towards Markus. So he just enjoyed his company for as long as he could, knowing he would likely never see the handsome stranger again. At least he could share the best Christmas Eve he’d had in years with him.


	2. Dangerous Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I cranked out another chapter in one night. At least the boredom of quarantine is good for something, eh? With any luck I can keep up the pace. No promises though.
> 
> Markus doesn't make an appearance in this chapter, but I promise he will show up again soon. In the meantime, another familiar face joins our cast and the mention of more friends can leave you looking forward to the next chapter. ;)

Children waking up early and rushing out of their rooms to a tree decorated with colorful lights and tinsel. Parents sitting down to watch their kids unwrap presents while sipping on mugs of coffee and hot chocolate with festive creamers added in. Laughter and warmth and safety. This is what a typical Christmas morning looked like for most people.

For Simon, Christmas morning looked like apologetic volunteers ushering him and the other homeless people out onto the streets again because the shelter was only open to occupants after 4pm and they had to leave in the morning. It looked like bundling up as much as he could against the cold and walking out into the snow covered city streets to try and find some way to occupy himself until he could return to the shelter. It was knowing that even when he returned later that night, there was no guarantee he could stay. It was feeling cold, and uncertain, and lost.

As horrible as that all was, it was just a typical Christmas for Simon anymore. So even though he felt all that negativity, he still looked up at the Christmas lights decorating the streets of Detroit and smiled. At least the glowing colors were pretty, even in the daytime.

Simon walked slowly, having no particular destination in mind as he wandered around the city. The cold was already starting to cause his joints to seize up, so every now and then he’d have to stop and force his body to relax a bit so he could unlock his knees and continue forward. God, he missed the days back when he was a little boy and could run around and play in the snow for hours without issue.

“You’re too young to be this old, Simon…” he muttered under his breath to himself before rounding the corner of the city block he was on.

Simon was only able to take a few steps forward before stopping dead in his tracks, shocked at the scene playing out in front of him.

A mere ten feet away, a group of teenagers was pushing a man that looked to be around Simon’s own age to the ground and pinning him as he struggled beneath the hands holding him down. He might have thought they were just playing by the way the teens laughed, if it weren’t for the terrified expression on the face of the involuntary party.

Simon watched in stunned silence as one of the teens climbed on top of the blonde man, effectively straddling him before dumping a half full water bottle on his face. At first this just seemed like a humiliation tactic, until the victim of these heathens began screaming as if he were in extreme pain. The horrible sound ripped Simon out of his shocked state and he immediately ran forward to help the poor thing.

Without a word, Simon roughly pushed the cruelly laughing boy off of the other man. Once he was out of the way, Simon could see exactly why the blonde was screaming so much. Chemical burns were causing the skin on the side of his face to blister and literally melt away, exposing the muscle tissue beneath. That bottle wasn’t just full of water.

The gruesome sight caused Simon to gasp as his mind reeled, trying to figure out what to do. He didn’t know how to treat something like this. He didn’t even know what chemicals were used to cause it, so trying to rinse it away with water might actually make it worse.

Unfortunately, there was no time to think it through. While the only girl in the group of teens went to help the boy Simon had pushed away, one of the others grabbed Simon from behind. He felt the offender’s hands slip under his arms and pull him backwards before the boy’s hands locked behind Simon’s head, effectively holding him in a position that kept his arms in a useless and awkward position that he couldn’t easily get out of.

Meanwhile, a fourth teen had pulled out a pocket knife and was brandishing it threateningly towards Simon. The boy had a playful grin that was far too casual for his actions, like he was just playing a game, not hurting people. The teen stepped towards Simon as he struggled to try and get free of the other boy’s grasp, closing the distance completely by pushing the blade against Simon’s throat.

“Fuck him up, Kaleb,” the boy who Simon had pushed away yelled from the side in a vindictive tone.

Kaleb, as he was apparently called, pushed the knife against Simon’s skin with enough pressure to just barely break the skin. A tiny amount of blood pooled on the edge of the blade and Simon swallowed thickly, but the boy made no further move to attack. At least not yet.

“You scared?” His sadistic whisper was met with nothing more than an indignant glare from Simon. The boy restraining him gave a juvenile giggle, apparently finding the situation amusing.

A pitiful whimper came from the poor man who was probably permanently disfigured now. He was covering his face with his hands a few feet away, curled into the fetal position. The sound distracted the boy with the knife and before Simon had time to think about what he was doing, his leg shot out from beneath him and his foot made contact with Kaleb’s right knee _hard._

The joint bent backwards in a way it definitely wasn’t meant to, and even though there was no distinct sound of bones breaking, the boy still cried out in pain and dropped to the ground. The knife fell from Kaleb’s hand as he gripped at his leg and Simon took that opportunity to drop like deadweight in the other boy’s arms. Unable to keep balance with the sudden shift, the teen stumbled forward and was forced to let go of Simon to catch himself. He still didn’t stay upright, as that’s when Simon swept another kick under his feet, bringing him crashing down to the ground as well.

By now the boy who had dumped the water bottle of chemicals onto the other man’s face was visibly angry and darted forward. He stopped halfway between the female teenager and Simon to reach for the knife his friend had dropped. A slur of profanities spilled out of the boy’s mouth as he fumbled for the blade, dropping it a few times in his haste. Knowing what his intentions were and not wanting anything to do with that, Simon quickly scrambled in the opposite direction, towards the whimpering man on the sidewalk next to him.

“C’mon, we have to go!” Simon gripped the other blonde’s shoulders with a sense of urgency.

“I’m gonna kill both of you,” the angry teen shouted, finally getting a grip on the knife.

Some more shouts from the girl in the group pleaded with him to stop. “Dillon, you’re taking this too far! We’re going to get in trouble!”

Simon almost laughed at the absurdity of her statement. They took it too far the moment they decided melting someone’s face sounded like a fun way to spend Christmas day. Instead of taking the time to express this sentiment, Simon turned back to his charge and decided he wasn’t moving fast enough for his liking.

Simon wrapped his arms around the crying stranger and yanked him to his feet rather roughly. This was no time to be gentle. As fast as their attacker was closing in on them, now only barely out of stabbing distance, now was the time to get the hell out of dodge. Once they were both on their feet, Simon wasted no time in dragging the other man away in an uncoordinated race to safety. They stumbled over each other a bit as they got traction, but soon Simon was relieved to feel the other man fall into a fast pace with him as they ran. 

“That’s right, you better run, assholes!” Despite the nature of the taunt, it lost it’s threat simply by fading into the distance behind them. It seemed the group of delinquents didn’t think their victims worthy of chasing very far. Simon opted to keep running for a few more minutes anyways.

Once he felt they were a safe distance away, Simon pulled the wounded man into an alleyway and let go of him. He doubled over, gripping his knees (which were screaming at him in protest after all that movement) and gulped in the frigid winter air in an attempt to catch his breath. However, he didn’t have much time to focus on himself as the sobs from his charge distracted him from his own needs.

“Hey, let me take a look,” Simon said between heavy breaths as he stood up straight and moved towards the other male.

A pathetic noise came from the wounded man as he shook his head violently, still covering his face with one hand. Simon watched as he recoiled, stumbling backwards into the wall of the building behind him. The action caused Simon to hesitate for a moment, but cautiously, he made another attempt to move forward.

“It’s ok. I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to help.” Simon slowly took a step towards the other blonde and was met with no resistance, so continued. “Can I please look? I need to know how serious it is.” There was no reply, but the poor guy didn’t fight him when Simon gently took his hands into his own and gradually pulled them away from his wound.

The entire left side of his face was raw and mutilated by the chemicals. A few gashes, where the acidic mixture had seeped into the tissue further than other parts of the cheek, bled profusely and almost looked like deep claw marks. His left eye was in bad shape as well, bloodshot and clouded over. He was probably going to be blind in that eye now.

“Ralph is scared. It hurts. Why did they hurt Ralph?”

Simon blinked a few times, taken off guard by the odd speech pattern. It took him a moment to realize he was speaking in third person and Ralph was, in fact, this man’s name. It suddenly dawned on Simon that the reason those teenagers had attacked Ralph was probably because he had some sort of mental disorder and they thought of him as an easy target.

Tears welled up in Simon’s eyes as he felt a scorching anger rise up in his chest and throat. How could they treat someone, anyone, but especially someone vulnerable, like that? It was disgusting and made Simon feel physically ill. He just wanted to cry for Ralph. But he couldn’t, he needed to keep his head on straight. Especially because Ralph seemed to be getting more and more distressed with each word he spoke.

“Ralph was just minding his own business! He didn’t do anything to them! Why did they hurt Ralph?” The volume and pitch of his childlike voice grew alarmingly high and Simon quickly made an attempt to calm him.

“I don’t know. But it will be alright. You’re safe now.” Simon gripped Ralphs shoulders to try and ground the panicking man. “Hey, look at me. I won’t let them hurt you again. Ok?”

Simon looked intently into Ralph’s green eyes. Even though one of them couldn’t actually see him, Ralph stared back for a second before nodding his head.

“Ok… Ralph trusts you.”

“My name is Simon. I’m going to help you, but I need you to do as I say.”

“Ralph understands.”

“Do you have any emergency contacts? People you can call when something bad like this happens to you?” Simon asked, silently praying that he had family or maybe some sort of caretaker that would be able to take Ralph to the hospital. Or rather, someone that could foot the bill. If he was homeless like Simon was, an emergency room visit could get complicated.

“No… No, Ralph is alone. He doesn’t have a home…”

“Shit.” The curse word escaped his mouth before he could stifle it.

Ralph stared at him anxiously but Simon just bit his lip and looked away. His fears were confirmed then. Ralph was homeless too, and as such, likely had no sort of health insurance. It was true that the hospitals couldn’t turn him away if he showed up at the ER. They would have no choice but to treat him. But that didn’t mean they wouldn’t bill him. Ralph could just ignore the bill, but then legal issues would arise and that was a whole ugly mess Simon wanted to avoid putting him in.

“Simon?” Ralph’s timid voice called his attention back.

“Alright. Here’s what we are going to do. I have some friends that might be able to help with your burn. But I don’t have their contact information. I have to get it from someone else. Can you follow me?” Simon asked softly.

“Yes. Ralph can do that.” An eager nod came from the green eyed male and Simon returned the gesture with a slow nod of his own.

He held his hand out for Ralph to take and soon the two of them walked out of the alleyway. Muffled sniffling sounds came from the injured man as he held tightly to Simon and stuck close as they made their way through the streets. Simon kept an eye out just in case the teens who had attacked them decided to show up again, but luckily they seemed to have left the area.

Occasionally Simon would glance at Ralph to make sure he was alright. He could see by the way the other male winced and quietly whimpered from time to time that he was still in a great deal of pain. But hopefully they could fix that soon. He just had to get the triplet’s contact information from Rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were a lot of action sequences to write in this chapter and I think most writers can tell you how difficult those can be. I tried hard to make everything clear but if it's a little hard to follow, I apologize. I really did do my best.
> 
> As always, I appreciate any and all comments, so please don't be shy. Thanks for reading!


	3. Beginning to Heal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely hope that this is coherent because I wrote it all between the hours of 1am and 6am in one big long stretch.

Getting help for Ralph seemed like the most drawn out process in the world to Simon, especially considering the urgency of the situation. If only he had a cellphone. This would have been so much easier if he did. But of course, being homeless and essentially unemployed didn’t allow for such luxuries. 

The local library was the next best option. They had a public use phone he could use to get ahold of Rose. He was glad she had trusted him with her personal number, otherwise what he was hoping to accomplish might be impossible.

As they made their way towards the library, Simon carefully wrapped his own scarf around Ralph’s neck and pulled it up to cover his still bleeding wound. A hiss came from the other male as the fabric brushed against the melted skin, despite Simon’s best efforts to be gentle. 

“I’m sorry, Ralph,” he said, making a wincing face of his own out of empathy. 

“Does Ralph have to go in the building?” The nervous tone in Ralph’s voice as he nodded towards the library caused Simon to frown.

“Just long enough to use the phone. Why? Do you not want to?”

“Too many people. Ralph doesn’t trust them. People are mean to Ralph. He’s safer by himself.” The implications of these words made the corners of Simon’s mouth tug further down. This might not be the first time Ralph had been attacked.

“It will be alright. Just stick close to me, I won’t let anything happen to you,” he reassured.

Reluctantly, Ralph followed Simon toward the large building. The moment the two of them stepped inside, Simon felt the warmth of the heated space bring relief to his joints. The faint but pleasant smell of ink and paper filled the air along with the sound of muted voices and fingers tapping away at computer keyboards. Simon had always enjoyed such environments, but he didn’t have time to dawdle. 

He pulled Ralph towards the front desk where the librarians were checking books out for readers, then proceeded to get the attention of one of them who wasn’t too busy. After requesting to use the telephone, he was met with a raised eyebrow, but was granted permission to make his call. Ralph fidgeted anxiously beside him as he dialed Rose’s cell and waited for the ringing sound to cease.

When Rose picked up the line, she seemed confused, but Simon quickly made it clear who was calling and asked his question. He knew it was a big favor to give out the triplet’s contact information, but it was important. His explanation of why he needed it was brief and to the point, but convincing enough for her to agree to tell him the info. He hastily thanked her before hanging up and immediately dialing the number she had given him.

This time the voice on the other end picked up the call much faster and Simon followed the same pattern of conversation he’d used with Rose. Of course, they recognized him the moment he gave his name, all three of them having spent plenty of time volunteering at the shelter and knowing Simon personally. When he told them he needed help and why, he was relieved that they didn’t hesitate at all to tell him to come quickly to their apartment so they could treat Ralph. It only took a moment for Simon to map out in his head the location of the address they gave him. He was familiar enough with the city to visualize the place in his head and know where to go without writing it down. A quick thanks was uttered before he ended the call and turned to face Ralph.

“Ok, my friends agreed to help you. We just have to go to their apartment. It’s not far,” Simon said, taking in a deep breath. 

Ralph nodded eagerly, looking more than ready to leave. Simon took his hand once more and the two of them left the library behind to venture out into the cold again. They walked at a brisk pace, Ralph slowing them down only slightly when he slipped on the ice and Simon had to catch him. A few city blocks later and they arrived at a tall brick building with an intercom system installed next to the locked double doors.

Simon searched for the button that would buzz apartment E400 and pressed it, alerting his friends to his and Ralph’s arrival. Static popped over the intercom speaker as three similar voices spoke over top of each other.

“Simon?”

“Of course it’s Simon! Hurry and bring your friend inside.”

“Come on up, I already unlocked the door for you!”

Ralph tilted his head at the intercom speaker curiously, but Simon was in a hurry and dragged him away from it to enter the apartment complex. Another burst of warm air welcomed them in this building, and Simon decided it was actually hot enough he would undo his coat. 

His fingers yanked at the zipper as he pulled Ralph into the elevator, then he impatiently jabbed his finger into the button that would take them to the floor they needed. As the lift started the steady ascent, Simon glanced at the floor number display before looking over at Ralph to check on him. The poor thing’s eyes were wide and shifting about in all directions rapidly while his fingers fidgeted around each other restlessly. 

“Hey, no need to be afraid. My friends are really nice. They’ll take care of you. I think you’ll like them,” Simon reassured, using a soft tone in hopes of calming Ralph’s nerves. 

The wounded male parted his lips as if to say something, but then the elevator doors opened up onto their level and he closed his mouth. Simon gave him an encouraging smile and led him out into the hallway until they found the door marked E400. Simon raised a hand to knock and only got a single tap of his fist in before the door was flung open from the other side.

Three identical men crowded into the doorway, pushing each other out of the way in their enthusiasm. 

“Simon, it’s good to see you,” one of the red heads said, elbowing his brother in the ribs.

“Jerry, get out of the way, I need to take a look at Simon’s friend,” another said from just behind the two who were now squabbling.

“Jerry’s right, Jerry. If he’s hurt, we can’t keep him waiting just because you want to catch up with Si. Move over!” The third triplet smooshed his hand directly against the other’s face to push him out of the way. 

“Well, pardon me for wanting to say hi to my good friend, Jerry!” 

The two began roughhousing but were at least considerate enough to take it out of the way, moving to the side to let the more responsible of the trio through. “Come inside and let me take a look at you,” he said, taking Ralph’s hand and pulling him into the apartment. “Come, sit. Tell me what happened.” 

Simon followed them inside, closing the door behind him and watching as Ralph turned his head back and forth, rapidly glancing from one brother to another. The injured man seemed to be struggling to understand the triplets, or maybe he was just overwhelmed with their rambunctious behavior. Either way, he was obviously confused.

“What’s your name?” The Jerry who guided Ralph over to the sofa sat him down on it and reached for an advanced first aid kit that was already sitting out and ready on the coffee table next to them. 

“Wha-? Oh. Ralph.” 

The injured man was still distracted by the other two siblings giving each other noogies a few feet away. However, his attention was brought to the triplet nearest him when Jerry pulled the scarf away from Ralph’s face, revealing the chemical burns down the side of his face.

A sympathetic noise came from the Jerry treating Ralph as he saw the damage. “That looks painful. But don’t worry, it’s not too bad to treat. Looks like the chemical mixture wasn’t as corrosive as it could have been. It’s already neutralized and stopped burning through tissue.”

“Well that’s a relief!” One of the other two said, pausing in their sibling wrestling match.

Simon folded his arms and leaned against the back of the couch, watching as the Jerry examining Ralph’s injury leaned over to grab some items from the first aid kit. 

“The biggest problem now is going to be preventing infection. Burns, whether from a natural heat source like fire or from chemicals, always tend to be prone to that complication during the healing process,” Jerry said, now cleaning the wound as gently as he could.

Ralph winced a bit but seemed more concerned with the Jerry’s than his own face. “How are there so many of you? Ralph doesn’t understand. Jerry is right here in front of Ralph, but then Jerry is also over there, and over there too! Are there more of you? Where did you all come from?” 

Simon had to stifle a laugh at the bewilderment in the poor thing’s voice. “Ralph, they aren’t all the same person. They are identical triplets,” he explained.

“My full name is Jerimiah,” the one treating his wounds added.

“And I’m Jeremy,” one of the other’s piped up.

“Jerick,” the last one exclaimed cheerfully.

Ralph glanced back and forth between them as he processed this information. Gradually, understanding lit up his eyes and he smiled. Then laughed. 

“They all go by the same moniker because their parents decided it would be funny to give them all names that can be shortened to Jerry,” Simon elaborated with a mischievous smile of his own. “It’s a bit infuriating because it only makes them that much harder to tell apart. Even I can’t tell, and I’ve known them for years.” 

Ralph giggled again and the innocent sound seemed to put an end to Jeremy and Jerick’s fighting, drawing them both over to sit at the chuckling blonde’s feet. Simon was glad to see that Ralph seemed so content. He’d been worried at how tense and spooked he’d been just moments ago, but he seemed to be relaxing now. 

“How can Ralph know which Jerry is who?” Ralph asked with amused curiosity.

“Hmm” One of the two at his feet tapped their chin thoughtfully before looking over to the one sitting on the couch with Ralph. “Well, Jerimiah is a med student. He’s trying to become a Nurse. He’s the most responsible and protective of us.”

“And Jerick works at an amusement park during the summer. He operates the pirate cove ride. He’s the most playful and spontaneous of us,” Jerimiah said in return.

“He also likes to run around the house in a pirate hat and eye patch and call himself Captain when he’s bored and wants to boss us around,” Jeremy added, sticking his tongue out at the triplet next to him and earning another giggle from Ralph.

Jerick stuck his tongue out in retaliation before going on to say, “Jeremy is the cook in the family. He helps run a bakery a few blocks away with one of our friends. Don’t let his soft and cuddly act fool you though. He’s really just as obnoxious as me.”

Ralph seemed enthralled by the triplets, and Simon couldn’t help but think that they were aware of this fact and consciously working together to keep it going, because Jerimiah had been discreetly treating Ralphs chemical burns with gentle touches while Jerick and Jeremy distracted the blonde from the pain. Simon was glad Ralph was so easily entertained. The child-like quality of his personality made this so much easier for all of them.

It was also good to see that the Jerry’s were not only comfortable with this, but seemed to be enjoying Ralph’s company just as much as he was theirs. By the time Jerimiah was done cleaning and patching the wound, Jerick and Jeremy had captivated his attention so much that Ralph didn’t even notice the process had finished, or even happened in the first place. He was too busy asking questions about amusement park rides and how to bake cookies to notice Jerimiah closing the first aid kit and standing up to put it away.

“Could you come here for a second, Si?” Jerimiah didn’t wait for an answer as he motioned for Simon to follow him into the other room.

Simon pushed himself off of the back of the couch and silently made his way over to join him. Once they were in one of the bedrooms, presumably Jerimiah’s, the red head pulled the door so it was only open a crack. He then crossed the room to put the first aid kit away before speaking to Simon.

“How did he get those burns?”

Simon sighed, not wanting to relive the traumatic event. He knew that Jerry deserved to know though. After all, they never had to agree to help in the first place. They were doing this out of the kindness of their hearts. It didn’t seem right to keep them in the dark about it.

“Ralph is homeless like me. I only just met him today, but I think he might have some sort of mental or learning disability too. I’m not sure what though. Anyways, there was this group of teenagers that thought it would be fun to attack him. I stepped in to get him out of there before they could do too much harm, but I wasn’t fast enough to keep them from splashing his face with chemicals.” Simon hugged his shoulders and stared at the floor while he spoke. 

“Well, I’m glad you were there to save him. Who knows what would have happened to him if you hadn’t stepped in.” Jerry said, placing a hand on the blonde’s shoulder.

“Jerry…” Simon hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to articulate the concern he had for Ralph. “I’m afraid for him. I can’t just leave him to fend for himself out on the streets again. He said some things that made me think this isn’t the first time he’s been attacked. I know first hand what sort of things people do to us, and I can tell just from the short amount of time I’ve spent with him today that he’s not equipped to handle some of the worse things that can happen. What am I going to do? He needs somewhere where he can be safe.” 

Simon could handle himself, but Ralph wouldn’t last out there on the streets. He’d already been through too much. There had to be a way to help him. It seemed that Jerry was thinking the same thing, as the next thing he said surprised Simon.

“I know. That’s why he can stay here with my brothers and me.” Jerry smiled when Simon’s jaw dropped. “If I could, I’d take in every homeless person in Detroit, and I’m sure Jerick and Jeremy feel the exact same way. Unfortunately, we just don’t have the means to do that. But Ralph is a special case. You’re right, he needs to be protected. My brother’s and I can do that. He can live here with us, at least until we can figure out something better for him.”

The relief that washed over Simon upon hearing him say that must have been visible because Jerry laughed and patted his shoulder gently. 

“Thank you, Jerry,” Simon breathed, feeling lighter knowing that Ralph would be in safe hands.

“I’m only sorry I can’t offer you a place here as well,” replied Jerimiah.

“No… No, I’ll be fine. I’ve always survived on my own. You don’t have to worry about me. Just take care of Ralph.”

Jerry hugged Simon; a gesture that caused him to stiffen in awkward discomfort, but that he allowed, nonetheless. Simon could trust Jerry and the redhead had earned the token of affection after offering such a huge sacrifice on Ralph’s behalf. 

“You sure your brother’s will be ok with it?” Simon asked, breaking the embrace.

“I’m sure. I’ll discuss the finer details of it with them tonight, but everything will be fine. I’m pretty sure they are already ready to fill out adoption papers anyways.” It was meant as a joke, but honestly, Simon wouldn’t be surprised if Jerry wasn’t wrong.

The two of them left the bedroom to join the other’s who had apparently decided to let Ralph browse through their DVD collection to watch a movie with him. The three of them were huddled around a stack of titles with their heads together, discussing the film options, when Jerimiah cleared his throat. Once he had their attention, he simply looked over to Simon, causing them all to turn their heads towards him expectantly. 

“I’ve got to head out now, but Jerry says you can stay here for a while. Ok, Ralph?” Simon said, addressing the other blonde.

“Oh. Ralph can stay here with the Jerry’s?” Ralph seemed shocked and unsure at this news, but the enthusiastic words of confirmation that came from all three triplets simultaneously seemed to please him.

“I’ll come back and visit another day. Sound good?” Simon smiled as Ralph nodded his head happily.

“Ralph will see his friend, Simon, later!” He waved goodbye and Simon did the same, offering the gesture to all three Jerry’s as well before turning to leave the apartment.

Once the door was closed behind him, Simon expelled a slow sigh, feeling the stress of the day’s events leave him. As happy as he was to have made a new friend, he was glad the whole mess of circumstances that had led to it was over with. What an interesting Christmas this year had given him. Unfortunately, it still wasn’t over yet. There were a few more hours left to kill before he could return to the shelter, so it was back out into the cold for him. 

The thought of the dirty, snow covered streets outside made him groan and toss his head up to look at the ceiling in frustration. It was fine. He would be fine. This was nothing new. One step at a time. And there was no harm in literally taking the steps instead of the elevator to stay in the warm building just a tad longer, right? Stairs weren’t exactly great on his knees, but it was worth it for the few extra minutes of heat, he decided. 

So, Simon started the descent down the stairwell, taking each step at a far slower pace than necessary. But, even with him dragging it out, he reached the ground floor and saw the glass double doors leading outside. With a pout, Simon reached out to push them open and step into the cold. 

“Simon?”

His own name kept him from opening the door, the voice causing him to turn his head with a bit of confusion. The expression on his face quickly morphed into shock when he saw who had spoken.

“Markus?”


	4. Admire You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't believe how fast I'm cranking these chapters out.
> 
> This one is from Markus' perspective. Enjoy.

At first Markus thought he was just seeing some random stranger walk towards the door, only able to see the blonde from the back as he stood in the elevator. But the way he held himself triggered a memory from last night in Markus’ mind, causing him to reach out and push the closing lift doors back open. The posture was distinct. The man walking toward the building exit held one shoulder higher than the other due to his spine curving to the side slightly, just like the man Markus had met last night.

“Simon?” Markus blurted out, unable to help himself.

When the other male turned, Markus was met with large, impossibly beautiful, ocean blue eyes. There was no doubt in his mind now. It was Simon. 

“Markus?” There was surprised confusion in the blonde’s voice as he blinked those pretty doe eyes at him.

Abandoning the elevator, Markus took a few steps to close the distance between himself and Simon, unable to keep the grin from forming on his face. He was surprised Simon even remembered his name from last night. It wasn’t like Markus was a regular at the shelter, and even though they had spent most of the night hanging out and conversing with each other and the other volunteers, he didn’t think he would be very noteworthy to Simon.

“What are you doing here?” Markus tilted his head curiously, though there was no hint of accusation in his tone. 

“I- Well- It’s kind of a long story.” Simon’s reply was incredibly vague and earned a raised eyebrow from Markus. “You… live here?” The question sounded uncertain, like he wasn’t sure he should be asking.

“Yeah. I just got off work, so I’ve got plenty of time if you want to come up and tell me this long story,” he offered. Noting the uneasy expression on Simon’s face, he added a little less confidently “that is, if you don’t have anywhere to be.”

He felt his heart sink a bit as Simon looked away, shifting his gaze towards the door like he was trying to think of an excuse to leave. It occurred to Markus that he barely knew this guy and was inviting him into his apartment. That might be weird for Simon. Markus really was just trying to be friendly, not a creep. Although… Was it creepy that Markus had been so inspired by the beautiful man, now standing in front of him, that he’d come home and stayed up late sketching his likeness on every scrap of paper he could find after he left the shelter last night? He decided he best not mention that little fact to Simon.

“I…” Simon seemed to be considering how to answer and Markus was afraid he was trying to find a polite way to turn him down. It came as a pleasant surprise when Simon looked back at him and said “If you’re sure you don’t mind…”

“Of course I don’t mind! I’m the one that invited you,” Markus said, the smile returning to his face. “Come on, I’ll show you to my apartment.”

Markus held his hand out to indicate Simon should walk with him to the elevator. Simon still seemed a bit hesitant but followed beside him and the two of them entered the lift. Pressing the button for the top floor, Markus watched the doors close and felt the shift in gravity as they started to climb levels. 

“I hope you can forgive all the clutter scattered about my place. I wasn’t expecting company.” He looked at Simon through the corner of his eye.

“Markus, I’ve been living on the trash filled streets of Detroit for twelve years. I think I can handle a messy apartment.” Markus was glad to hear the teasing tone in Simon’s voice, though the reminder that he was homeless made him a bit sad.

“I don’t know. It’s kind of a disaster.” 

Markus gave a playful smirk to the blonde and was met with an almost unnoticeable micro expression akin to the Mona Lisa’s smile. He really was a work of art. Markus could sketch a thousand more portraits of Simon and it would never measure up to the real thing.

The elevator doors parted to let them out and Markus stepped through first, allowing Simon to follow behind a few paces away. He led the other male past the doors lining the hallway until he reached his own, slipping his key into the lock and pushing it open. He stood to the side to allow Simon past and the blonde took a few steps in before pausing to take in the carnage. Markus shut the door before joining the other’s side in looking out over the mess of art supplies littering the living room. 

There were markers, pens, pencils, paint brushes, oil pastels, all scattered around the floor. A bag of cotton swabs he used for blending paint or adding texture had spilled open its contents on the coffee table. Rows of various sized canvases, both used and unused, were stacked in no particular order against the walls. The trash bin in the corner was overflowing with crumpled up pieces of paper, drawings that Markus had decided weren’t worthy of seeing the light of day. Paints still in their tubes were dumped unceremoniously into a pile on the ground. Almost every surface area had small smudges of paint or graphite spotting them. In the center of it all was an easel set up with a sheet draped over the canvas it supported, covering the work in progress beneath it.

Markus folded his arms and looked over at Simon, expecting him to crack a joke about what a slob he was. Instead, the other man appeared to be delighted with the chaotic display.

“You’re an artist?” The awe in Simon’s voice made Markus hum out a single, amused note.

“Not a very good one. But yes. It’s a hobby,” Markus said, watching with interest as Simon ventured further into the room to glance at some of the canvases that Markus had filled with paint.

“Just a hobby?” Simon seemed unconvinced of this. “Markus, these are amazing. I bet people would pay insane amounts of money to own such beautiful pieces.”

Markus felt his cheeks tingle with heat at the compliment. Simon must not know much about art if he thought Markus was any good, but he couldn’t help but feel flattered by the praise anyways. 

“Well, thank you,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away, towards the kitchen. “Hey, do you want something to drink? I can make us some tea or coffee if you’d like.”

Simon didn’t seem to want to stop examining one of Markus’ paintings, but forced himself to tear his gaze away so he could reply. “Tea would be lovely, thank you.”

Markus smiled and left Simon to keep appreciating his art while he went to put the kettle on. He was just glad that the sketch pad he had filled up with drawings of the beautiful blonde was tucked away in his bedroom where Simon wouldn’t accidentally discover it.

The kitchen was partially open to the living room, so Markus didn’t have to raise his voice too much to continue conversation with his guest while putting the water on to heat. “So, are you going to tell me what you’re doing around my part of the neighborhood?” he called towards the other room. It took a moment before Simon responded.

“I ran into someone that needed help. I couldn’t give them what they needed but knew some friends that happen to live in this building that could. So, I brought them here.” Simon was still being incredibly vague, but Markus supposed it was better than the response he’d given earlier.

“I thought you said it was a long story. That only took like four seconds,” Markus teased, getting two mugs down from the cupboard and placing tea bags in them. 

“Well, I’ve already had to repeat it a couple times since it happened, so forgive me if I’m tired of going into detail.” 

Simon’s voice was softer than it had been before, and closer. When Markus turned away from the counter, he saw why. The other male had moved from the living room to lean against the frame of the entryway leading into the kitchen. The light in here was brighter and Markus could see Simon’s face more clearly than he ever had before.

He looked absolutely exhausted. 

And yet, somehow, this only made him more beautiful. Hauntingly so. Markus felt like he could stare at him for an eternity. Simon looked like a divine angel with melancholy but kind eyes that were somehow intense and soft at the same time. Even the light coming from the kitchen ceiling seemed to hit his blonde hair in just such a way that it reflected in a ring around his head like a halo. Oh, how Markus wished he could capture that beauty perfectly on a canvas.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that in a rude way,” Simon said, suddenly looking quite self-conscious. “It’s just been a long day.” 

Markus quickly looked away, realizing that the source of Simon’s insecurity was coming from the fact that he was staring. He seemed to think that meant Markus was upset at him for not elaborating.

“No, no. That’s ok. I understand completely.” In an attempt to reassure him, Markus looked back at the other male just long enough to offer a smile before walking over to the pantry to retrieve the sugar. “You don’t have to go into detail if you don’t want to. It’s not really any of my business, I’m just a curious person so I can’t help but ask,” he chuckled, pulling the sugar container off the shelf and going back to the counter to set it next to the teacups still waiting for hot water.

“I can’t blame you for being curious,” Simon said. “But I really appreciate you not pushing it.” 

The way he phrased his words made Markus frown. It sounded a bit passive aggressive, like he was warning him not to keep asking but masking it with preemptive gratitude. This only made Markus more curious, but he decided he would take the hint. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Simon. He was rather hoping that he could get closer to him. Making him angry would surely eliminate any chance of that, especially so soon in their friendship. 

The electric kettle made a popping noise, turning off as the indicator signaled that the water had reached boiling temperature. Markus turned his attention to it, pouring the hot water into each mug so the tea could start to steep. 

“I’m not sure how much sugar you take, so I’ll let you add your own in,” he said, taking a step sideways to allow Simon some space at the counter as well.

Without a word, Simon moved next to him and started spooning the sweet white granules into his cup to dissolve while Markus did the same with his own spoon. They absently took turns but just as Markus reached to scoop up his last spoonful of sugar, his hand brushed against Simon’s. Markus wouldn’t have thought much of it if not for Simon’s exaggerated reaction.

The blonde yanked his hand away so fast that he sent sugar flying out of his spoon across the counter. His entire body shifted weight to lean away from the source of contact and then froze like a statue in the defensive position. Markus just blinked at him in surprise.

The two men stared awkwardly at each other, completely still for a moment that seemed to stretch on forever. Then, finally, Simon gradually started to relax his posture. His face was painted pink with sheepish embarrassment as his eyes darted to the side and downward. 

“What was that?” Markus said slowly, perhaps lacking the proper tact.

“I’m sorry.” The whispered reply was the only answer given.

Markus’ eyebrows furrowed together, not out of frustration or anger, but out of concern. He watched as Simon stared down at his cup of tea motionlessly. Markus had never in his life wanted to know exactly what was going through someone else’s head as much as he did now. 

Not knowing what else to do, Markus picked his cup of tea up and took a single step away from Simon before shifting to lean his back against the counter. He hoped the subtle, relaxed body language would put Simon at ease as he took a sip from his mug. After swallowing, he let his eyes wander lazily about the kitchen as he spoke two simple words that he hoped would comfort Simon.

“It’s ok.”

A long, drawn out breath of air escaped Simon’s lips and Markus couldn’t help but hear the slight shakiness in it. Whatever had set Simon off was beyond Markus’ understanding, but he was glad to see that the tension in the other man was subsiding as he mirrored Markus’ pose and leaned against the counter to sip from his own cup.

The two of them stood in silence as they drank their tea. It was definitely awkward for Markus, but something told him that quiet company was what Simon needed from him right now. So, he kept the many questions niggling away at his brain to himself and just tried to be as present as possible for Simon without being intrusive.

When Simon finished his tea, he set in on the counter between them. Markus was sure to wait until his pale fingers were completely retracted before reaching out with his own to take the cup and rinse it and his own out in the sink. 

“I should head back to the shelter now. The earlier I get there, the better my chances of getting a bed.” 

Simon’s voice breaking the silence was music to Markus’ ears. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could have taken the lack of dialogue. Still, he couldn’t help but feel sad that Simon had to leave.

“Would you like me to drive you?” he asked.

“No.” The answer came quick and decisive like an arrow into Markus’ chest. “But... Maybe we could meet up again some other time,” Simon added, softer and less sure.

Markus would take it. Any possibility at a second chance to befriend Simon was good enough for Markus. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to mess it up so bad this time, but if he could try again, it would mean everything to Markus. 

“I’d like that.”

Simon kept his eyes averted as he shuffled towards the door to leave. Markus followed loosely behind, only getting close enough to open the door for him as he walked out of the apartment into the hallway. He watched the blonde’s retreating figure from the doorway until he got into the elevator. When Simon turned around to press the down button Markus shouted across the hallway to him.

“Stay safe, Simon!” 

The doors closed and then he was gone. Markus continued staring at the space he had disappeared from for several seconds, despite the fact that no one was there. Eventually he ripped his gaze from the elevator doors and stepped back inside his apartment. The door clicked shut behind him and Markus leaned his back against it, letting his head hit the wood as he looked up at the ceiling. 

“Well, that could have gone better,” he muttered to himself.


	5. The Past Resurfaces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a very mean writer and things get worse. I'm so sorry, Simon.

Why?

Why did Markus have to live _there_ , of all places? Why did the crazy set of circumstances that brought Simon to his apartment building have to happen in the first place? Or at the very least, why couldn’t Simon have just taken the elevator instead of the stairs? Then Markus and Simon would have just missed each other and been none the wiser.

But no, Markus caught him in the foyer and for some reason, decided to invite him into his apartment. Why did he do that? And then, why did Simon _agree_ to Markus’ invitation? Why did Markus have to be so charming and interesting and kind?

Then there was Simon; a damaged, paranoid, freak of nature that couldn’t even do something so simple as share a cup of tea in Markus’ company without his brain entering panic mode and turning him into an absolute human disaster.

_“Why? Why are you like this, Simon?”_ his brain screamed at him as he walked away from the apartment building as fast as he could without breaking out into a run.

He was so humiliated, but he had no one but himself to blame. Poor Markus was probably just confused by the whole thing. He couldn’t possibly know why Simon had acted the way he had. What rational person would? Normal people didn’t flip out when someone else barely touches them.

Usually Simon had more self-control. Despite always being cautious, he could keep the anxiety he felt concerning physical contact from being so blatantly obvious and over the top. But being alone with someone he barely knew, in a place that was easily more familiar to them than him… It could go wrong so fast. He’d been in that situation before, more than once.

Even though Markus seemed like a perfectly good person, Simon didn’t know him well enough to know for sure. Markus even had an unnatural ability to make Simon feel safe, but how could he possibly trust that judgement after everything he’d been through? The second he let his guard down something bad could happen. So, Simon had to put up walls to protect himself.

_“But did you have to introduce him to your wall of crazy so abruptly? You practically smashed his face into it,”_ his inner monologue seemed to have a mind of it’s own. Apparently, it was feeling a bit brash today. But then, Simon always had been far ruder to himself than he’d ever been to anyone else.

Simon sighed and looked up to see snow starting to fall from a sky that was slowly losing it’s light. The tall electric streetlamps were starting to flicker to life on either side of the road. Simon had spent more time in Markus’ apartment than he’d realized, but it still couldn’t be any later that five o’clock in the evening. Simon hated the winter months for many reasons, but one of them was because of how fast it got dark out. As pretty as the city lights were, especially with the added colors of Christmas, he knew what sorts of things happened in the corners of the city that those lights weren’t bright enough to touch.

The cold was starting to get to him, and his pace had slowed some since he’d first left the apartment building. Despite the fact that he wanted to get to the shelter as fast as possible, his body was not complying with his wishes. Simon felt his muscles start to tense up as he began to shiver, and with that tension came a dull ache that increased rapidly into severe cramping in his shoulders, back, and legs. He could feel his hip joints locking up as well. That was another unfortunate side effect of winter nights; the temperature dropped from cold to downright frigid in a matter of minutes.

Simon groaned, both out of discomfort and frustration. He had to stop, even if just for a moment. Luckily there was a bench with one of those ridiculous ads for a lawyer that looked like he took himself far too seriously posted on the back rest. Simon pushed through the pain until he made it to the bench and sat, pulling his feet up on the seat as well. Tucking his knees to his chest, he wrapped his arms around his legs in an attempt to hold in body heat while he waited for the pain to subside.

It didn’t.

The pain only continued to grow until it reached the point that Simon’s eyes began to water. He bit his lip and rocked back and forth, squeezing his eyes shut and letting out another anguished groan. Anxiety started to settle in as he realized he might not be able to make it to the shelter. It hurt too much to walk, but if he stayed here, he’d surely freeze to death.

The thought triggered a memory of being dumped into a snowy ditch off the side of the freeway, naked and so brutally beaten that those who had done it to him thought him already dead. All the buried emotions he’d experienced that horrible night forced themselves to the surface and Simon’s distress turned into a full-blown panic attack. His chest tightened, only making him hurt more as his heart thumped rapidly inside him as if it were trying to break out. A wave of nausea hit and he felt like the world had started to spin. The passing cars on the street in front of him became blurry as his eyes went out of focus and tunnel vision started to darken his peripherals.

Simon was so sure he was going to die right then and there that he barely noticed the sound of someone saying his name, their voice muffled by the rush of blood his pounding heart was pumping past his ears.

The voice registered a few seconds late, but once it did, he turned his head to see what had to be a hallucination. There was no way it was her. Simon had cut ties with North and all the other’s two years ago, disappearing from their lives without a word and letting them believe he’d died. The only reason he was imagining her here now was because he’d finally cracked. Thinking about the past had brought her memory to mind and now he was going insane and his damaged psyche had conjured her up as an illusion.

She looked just as he’d remembered her, right down to the haughty irritation that seemed to seep into every expression she made, even when she was happy. She didn’t look happy right now, though. She looked dumbstruck.

More voices, drowned out slightly by the shock Simon was still in, slowly registered. They were yelling from a distance but growing closer. The mirage of North seemed to come to her senses, glancing behind her at the source of the yelling before turning back to face Simon with a fearful alertness.

“Simon, they’re going to arrest me! You have to help,” she pleaded with him.

Simon was surprised when he could feel her grabbing his hands roughly, trying to yank him to his feet. Hallucinations couldn’t do that, could they? Simon’s hips were completely locked up and refused to move, so when North pulled him off the bench, he simply fell to the snow-covered pavement like a brick. North danced away from him, apparently not expecting this.

“Connor! Catch her,” one of the yelling voices, closer now, called out gruffly.

Simon struggled to push himself into a bent kneeling position, looking up to see North make an attempt to run before being intercepted by a lanky, dark haired man in a police uniform. The officer tackled her to the ground and soon she was struggling with all her might to avoid the handcuffs being slapped on her wrists behind her back.

“Simon, what the fuck?” she yelled angrily at him, though Simon knew North plenty well enough to know that the venom in her voice was really fear.

All he could do was stare at her, still in too much pain to move and in far too much shock to tell if this was reality or if his panic attack really had sent him spiraling into madness. He couldn’t even speak as the officer holding her down pulled her to a standing position, still holding her tightly, and turned to his partner who was just now catching up.

“I have apprehended the suspect, Lieutenant,” the young police officer said, seeming proud of himself.

“Alright, rookie, don’t get a big head. Recite her rights to her.” The senior officer, an older man with long gray hair tied in a ponytail behind his head, seemed agitated and a little out of breath. As his partner began to rattle off a list of rights to North, he looked down at Simon suspiciously. “You her partner in crime?”

The other officer interrupted himself to add his two cents on the matter. “She did seem familiar with him. The way she tried to get him to run with her indicates that he may be involved.”

“I wasn’t askin’ you,” The senior officer shot back before turning back to the kneeling blonde.

Simon was still in too much of a daze to respond. He just looked between the two policemen and North with a vacant expression on his face.

“I think he may be under the influence of drugs, sir,” the officer restraining North said. She did nothing to defend him, remaining silent as she shot a stony glare at Simon.

“Alright, ‘fraid I’m gonna have to take you in too. I dunno if you’re involved, but if there’s a chance, I have to hold you in custody until I can be sure.” The older cop might seem apologetic if not for the rough way he grabbed Simon’s shoulders and pulled him upwards.

A pathetic, whiny yelp came from Simon as his hips were forced to pop painfully back into place. “You alright?” the gray-haired man asked, pausing to raise an eyebrow at him.

Simon gave a soft whimper in reply, but words were still too difficult for his brain to form at the moment. The two officers exchanged confused glances before walking North and Simon towards the direction they’d come from. Every step hurt Simon, but despite the excruciating way it had been done, his hips were now unlocked and he could at least move again.

Perhaps if his head wasn’t still struggling to comprehend everything happening right now, he might have attempted to get away. After all, he was innocent, at least of any crimes these cops thought he might have committed. But at the moment his head was still reeling and he was too cold, too hurt, and way too tired to put up a fight. So, when they reached the police car, Simon allowed the officer’s to push him into the back seat with North and lock the doors.


	6. Still Surviving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where things might start to get hard for some people to swallow. Don't say I didn't warn you.
> 
> Also, North is a bit of a bitch in this chapter, but that doesn't mean she is the antagonist. She's just hurting and coping in a way that I think her character is prone to. Please do not shit on her in the comments like I have seen some people do with other fics. She is a wonderful character and she and Simon are best friends. They butt heads sometimes, it's ok. Don't hate on North, things get better, I promise.

Despite the comfort of the heated air blowing through the police car’s vents, the icy glare North was giving Simon was anything but comforting. The car had been started but they had yet to move anywhere, as the policemen in the front seat seemed to be deep in discussion on a phone call. Probably reporting back to their superiors or communicating with other officers that might have been involved with putting a stop to whatever North had done. Simon was still coming down from his mental breakdown but had decided that all of this was indeed real. Which wasn’t really comforting either.

A few minutes passed by with nothing but the sound of the cop’s voices filling the silence, muffled by a glass window and metal grate separating them from the back seat for their safety. Up until this point, Simon had been staring straight ahead, doing his best to gather his thoughts and disregard the death glare coming from North. But the more present his conscious became the less he could ignore her. Slowly, his head turned to face her. He opened his mouth, despite having no idea what to say, but was cut off before he could even start.

“We thought you were dead.” The statement flew out of her mouth the moment he made eye contact. 

One might imagine such words to sound loving, filled with relief and joyful that someone thought to be lost was actually alive. One would be wrong. There was a definite tone of accusation in North’s voice that made Simon flinch and immediately look away again. He ducked his head down submissively, staring at his hands resting in his lap with a guilty conscience. 

“Do you know how horrified Traci was when she heard what happened to you? Or how hard Chloe cried when Zlatko was more upset at losing you as an investment than he was that you had been brutally murdered?” She paused just long enough to scoff before continuing. “Or so we thought. Yet here you are, sitting right next to me, two years later and still breathing, as if nothing ever happened. What the fuck, Simon! Where did you go? How did you survive? Why didn’t you come back? I can’t blame you for running from Zlatko, but what about the rest of us? We were supposed to be family! You could have at least sent a message telling us you were alive. Simon! God damn it, look at me!” 

She was outright yelling at him now, never giving him a chance to defend himself against her rapid-fire questions. Not that he really knew how to. Simon felt hot tears streak down his cold cheeks and fall into his lap but made no attempt to wipe them away. Despite the fact that North was leaning towards him menacingly, he did not look at her as she had demanded, but continued staring at the ground silently.

A few seconds passed before North made an irritated noise and leaned away from him once more. “I can’t believe you,” she said, no longer yelling but still sounding bitter. “I shouldn’t have stopped and expected your help.” 

Simon blinked a few times, pulling himself out of the past when he realized she was referring to their present predicament. Slowly, he tilted his head to the side to look at North. She was no longer zeroing in on him, but was staring out the car window. He could see the hurt expression she held on her features reflected in the glass. 

“North-“ Simon’s voice cracked and was barely audible, so he tried again. “North, I’m sorry. I would have helped you, I just… I didn’t know what was going on. I was in shock. I-“

“Save it.” North didn’t even turn away from the window to dismiss him. 

The tightness Simon had felt in his chest when having his panic attack returned once more and he felt like his world was ending. He never thought his past would catch up to him, especially not like this. He’d been so careful. But he supposed it was bound to happen eventually. Detroit was a big city, but not big enough to hide him from his own mistakes.

Another tear dropped from Simon’s face and the sensation of the droplet hitting his hand tore him from his trance. He looked away from North, turning his head to stare straight ahead of him. That’s when he noticed the two police officers staring back from the front seat.

Had they been listening in the whole time? The awkward but curious looks on their faces told him they had been. Simon felt a pit form in his stomach. He hoped nothing North had spouted off in her angry tirade was incriminating against her. She’d mentioned some names she probably shouldn’t have, but she had at least been vague about what those names were involved in. All Simon could hope was that the two cops, who had now turned away to start driving to the precinct, weren’t bright enough to connect the dots. 

Simon still wasn’t entirely sure what North had done to get caught, but there was little doubt in his mind that it had something to do with her profession. It was unlikely that she had managed to find a way out like Simon had. North, Traci, and Chloe were almost certainly still working for Zlatko. 

Simon would be too if it weren’t for the terrible incident that he had somehow managed to make work to his advantage. Funny how coming so close to death that everyone you knew believed you really had died could give you a golden ticket for a new life. Not that it was the amazing life Simon had always dreamed of. He was still homeless, penniless, and now had the added inconvenience of being in constant pain. But at least he wasn’t forced into bed with a new stranger every night just to earn his next meal and being threatened with his life if he didn’t comply. 

There was a thick tension in the car the entirety of the quiet ride to the police station. When they arrived, the younger of the two officers took North in while the older cop guided Simon out of the car and into the building with a relaxed grip. He didn’t seem too concerned about Simon causing trouble, though the same couldn’t be said of North. The brunette cop held her tightly and kept his eyes locked on her as if she might lunge at a moment’s notice.

As they entered the office space, a scruffy looking man holding a bag of ice to his groin pointed a finger at North and yelled accusatorily.

“You! You bitch, what kind of whore rams their knee into a potential client’s dick?” He tried to stand up and take a menacing step towards her, but the gesture backfired when he quickly dropped back into his seat, wincing in pain. 

“What kind of undercover officer tries to cop a feel before he’s even sure the chick hitting on him is a prostitute?” North shot back irritably before adding “Oh, that’s right. A dumbass one.”

“She’s right, you fucking idiot. You nearly blew the whole sting,” The gray-haired officer leading Simon seemed just as angry about it as North was.

Simon glanced over at the rookie cop still holding North as he contributed to the berating of the scruffy cop still holding ice to his injured manhood. “You’re actions were not only unprofessional, Gavin, but could be considered sexual harassment, which I shouldn’t have to remind you is a crime itself. Such behavior will likely be deemed ‘outrageous’ by the court and will result in any penalty she may have received being reduced or dropped entirely, as well as the possibility of charges being pressed against you personally.” The youngest officer sounded almost like he was reciting his words straight from a manual, his voice mechanical and yet, somehow, still holding a tone akin to a mother scolding her child.  


“What he said,” the senior officer agreed enthusiastically, earning a proud grin from his younger partner.

“Well, in that case, I might end up thanking you for being a disgusting pig.” North smiled condescendingly at the officer known as Gavin.

He must have been unable to come up with a suitable retort because he just glared at her with furrowed eyebrows and a pouting lip before rounding on Simon, who had been quietly observing from the sidelines, happily forgotten up until now.

“Who the fuck is this dipshit?”

All eyes turned to the mousey blonde and he suddenly remembered how much he hated being the center of attention. When he didn’t answer right away, North decided to give him some rather patronizing encouragement.

“Go on. Tell them who you are, Simon.” Her use of his name was deliberate and he cast her a perturbed glance, knowing full well that she was trying to incriminate him. He’d forgotten how petty and vindictive she could be.

“Just because we’re friends doesn’t mean I’m taking the downfall for you, North. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You’re the one that got caught,” Simon said calmly.

He was no longer in so much shock that he would stand by and take her shit, and this seemed to catch her off guard. The stunned look she gave him only lasted for a fraction of a second though. North knew he had always been a bit of a doormat, but she also knew he could only be pushed so far. A smirk played on her lips as she tossed her hair back from her face.  


“Guess coming back from the dead hasn’t changed you.” Her comment earned some raised eyebrows from all three policemen but only one of them was curious enough, or perhaps only socially oblivious enough, to ask what it meant.

“Back from the dead? What’s this bitch talking about?” Gavin leaned forward in his chair, looking at Simon and North with a stupid look on his face. 

“You’re a cop, you’ve got access to the police reports. Look it up.” Despite North’s words being directed at the curious cop, her mischievous eyes were locked with Simon’s. “Male prostitute, found severely beaten and dumped in a ditch off the freeway on Valentines day, two years ago.” North finally looked over at Gavin as she gave him search criteria. “Your files probably have more info on it than I could give you. After all, I thought he was dead, but here he is, standing pretty right in front of us.”

As North nodded her head towards him, Simon felt the eyes of all three police officers settle on him with intense curiosity. Subconsciously, he stiffened his posture, but the defiant glare he directed at North was fully intentional. He didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing just how much this was hurting him and how scared he was that she was digging up a past he had tried so hard to bury.

“Shit, this is juicy! I’m totally gonna look it up,” Gavin said, spinning in his chair and reaching for the keyboard on his desk to begin searching for the info on his computer.

“I doubt it’ll have any relevance to this arrest but let me know if anything comes up that I should know about,” the oldest of the three cops said, pushing Simon towards a door at the back of the office space. 

“Hank, I know we have arrested the female, but I don’t think we can officially say we’ve arrested the male. We still don’t know what or if he did anything that could be classified as criminal activity,” the younger officer said, following behind with North in tow.

“Nah, Connor. He’s not arrested. ‘Least not yet. We’re just bringing him in for questioning,” Hank, the older officer replied casually.

“Ah, that means we can only hold him for twenty-four hours before either charging him or releasing him.” The one known as Connor seemed to have a habit of sounding like a textbook. 

This habit seemed to irritate his senior partner. “Thanks for tellin’ me what I already knew, smartass.”

Simon kept quiet as they separated, Connor pulling North into one room while Hank led Simon into another. Once inside, Simon saw a rectangular table with two chairs placed across from each other tucked under it. Hank motioned for him to sit in the one facing a large mirror that Simon wasn’t stupid enough to believe wasn’t two way. Simon did as he was told and stared at his hands, feeling anxiety that had been there in the background the whole time creeping back into the forefront of his mind.

“I’ll be back in a bit. Just hang tight for now,” Hank said, leaning over to tap the table lightly before leaving the room.

Simon sat in silence, completely alone as dread overcame him.


	7. Fatherly Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a bit longer than the other's. I actually bought the game and began playing it for the first time, so I've been a bit distracted!
> 
> Sorry to leave you hanging on the edge of your seat with Simon, but this is another chapter from Markus' point of view. I figured after all that angst we needed a bit of fluff, so Carl is there to make things better too.

Pulling up to the familiar house that was Carl’s home, Markus parked the car and turned it off before slipping out the driver’s side door and looking up at the building that was practically a mansion by his standards. It was much nicer than anything he’d ever been able to afford, but despite being beautiful and well kept, it wasn’t so prestigiously decorated that it screamed ‘rich asshole’. On the contrary, Markus always thought it had a warm, whimsical feel, kind of like a museum of oddities. In fact, that’s exactly how Markus would describe the inside.

Carl always insisted he shouldn’t bother knocking when he came to work and told him to just walk in, so long as he announced his arrival. So, Markus did just that, stepping through the threshold and calling out “Carl, it’s me, Markus,” while glancing around at all the wonderfully chaotic paintings and curiosities Carl kept on display in his home. After shutting the door behind him, he hung his coat up and used his phone to digitally clock in, then heard a reply from the other room.

“Markus, welcome home! Come join me in the studio, I want to show you something.” 

The gravelly voice beckoned from out of sight, causing the corners of Markus’ mouth to curl upwards. Despite Markus being nothing more than Carl’s caregiver, the elderly man had treated him like a son from day one, making him feel more at home here with him than he could ever feel alone in his own apartment. 

Markus followed the sound of Carl’s voice, passing by antique relics, realistic sculptures of rare exotic animals, large canvases painted by the skilled hands of Carl himself, and other eccentric items decorating the place. Even though there was no order or discernible pattern to the mismatched deco, Markus found the lack of uniformity and complete randomness of it all magnificent. He wouldn’t change it for the world. To do so would be ignorance in the face of sheer brilliance.

Once he reached the studio, he entered to see Carl engrossed with one of his masterpieces, still a work in progress but already breathtaking. Carl added a few more brushstrokes with a focused frown set into his wrinkled face before leaning back in his wheelchair to examine his work so far. Without looking away from the painting, his head turned ever so slightly in Markus’ direction as he acknowledged his presence.

“What do you think?” he asked over his shoulder. “I’ve been working on it for weeks, but I feel like it’s still missing something. I can’t seem to finish it. Not until I figure out what it needs.”

Markus took a few steps closer, stopping at Carl’s side to analyze the bold colors and asymmetrical composition with his hands behind his back and a slight tilt to his head. A crease lined Markus’ forehead as he searched for what Carl might be looking for to complete the work. In the end, he could find no easy answer to offer up as a solution to Carl’s frustration. Carl knew more about art than Markus ever would. It was just a part of Carl, an intuition that all the classes and technique tutorials in the world had never been able to teach Markus, despite his best attempts.

“I don’t know, Carl. I can see what you mean, but I’ve never had your talent. I couldn’t tell you what’s missing,” Markus said with a defeated sigh.

“Nonsense. You’ve got every bit of natural talent I do and more. What you lack is the years of experience to develop that talent. That comes with being an old man like me,” Carl scolded, turning his wheelchair to look at Markus directly now. “Forget all those art classes taught to you by conceited morons that could tell you the history of art but couldn’t paint their way out of a paper bag. All they did was stick your creativity in a box. Art doesn’t have rules, Markus. Put everything you’ve learned about it aside and use your imagination. Come here.”

Carl took Markus’ hand and wheeled his chair over to another easel lying on the floor, dragging Markus with him. He bent to pick it up and Markus quickly beat him to it so he wouldn’t have to, afraid he’d hurt himself. Carl was a strong-willed man, but his body was weak and failing him with age. Markus refused to let him do anything that might end up making his health worse.

Once he’d set up the easel, Markus turned to see that Carl had wheeled himself over to a blank canvas while he was distracted and was now bending to pick it up instead.

“Carl, please! Let me do that,” Markus said in exasperation.

Carl only laughed at him. “I’m not as fragile as you think I am, Markus. Calm down.”

Markus pouted, but allowed him to bring the canvas back over and place it on the newly erected easel. Carl then picked up the palette he’d been using, already filled with several shades and hues of paint and handed it to Markus, along with a brush.

“Do me a favor. Paint something. Anything. It doesn’t have to be good, so don’t fret over making it perfect. Just put whatever comes to mind on the canvas,” he said, encouraging him with a head nod when Markus cast a skeptical look his way.

Sighing, Markus shrugged his shoulders. “Alright, if you say so,” he said, raising the brush but hesitating as he tried to think of what to paint. 

“Don’t think too hard,” Carl gently reassured. “Close your eyes if it helps, then just paint the first image that comes to mind.”

Doing as Carl suggested, Markus closed his eyes and waited for inspiration to hit. He didn’t have to wait long, as the picture of a tired, sad eyed angel standing in the doorframe to his apartment’s kitchen swam through his memories. 

Markus’ eyes fluttered open and he instantly dipped the brush into the pigment he would need before touching it to the canvas and beginning to paint. Despite the strong urge to let the perfectionist in him take over, Markus forced himself to do as Carl said and just paint without worrying about tiny flaws and making it precisely accurate. His hand glided across the canvas quickly, making broad strokes and sloppy gestures as he tried to just get the basic shapes down. Once the rough outline was done, he began to refine it, adding smaller details and painting over mistakes to make the image sharper. 

Carl watched from his wheelchair beside him, but Markus barely even noticed the fascination on the elderly man’s features as he painted. The whole world had fallen away from Markus’ mind. Now the only thing that mattered was the slowly forming image of a beautiful blonde male with striking ocean blue eyes that stared back from the canvas with a soul that held painful secrets but still glimmered with purity and kindness.

It was still pretty rough, but Markus decided if he were to continue, he would be there for days, so stepped back from the canvas to look the painting over. Despite how poorly rendered it was, Markus was surprisingly pleased with the outcome. He’d somehow managed to capture the essence of his subject better than he’d hoped. 

“My God, Markus…” Carl’s gravelly voice brought him back to reality and Markus looked over at him with a bit of trepidation, wondering what the older man thought. “Don’t you ever tell me you aren’t talented again. This is magnificent.”

Markus felt his cheeks flush and looked at the floor sheepishly. “Well, I wouldn’t say-“ he cut himself off when Carl gave him a pointed look before correcting himself. “It did turn out better than I thought it would…”

Carl wheeled himself closer to inspect the painting more thoroughly and Markus felt his heart swell with pride when he saw the admiration woven into the wrinkles on the more experienced artist’s face. Without touching the still wet paint, Carl pointed at the subject, his finger waving a few times for emphasis. 

“Who is this beautiful creature? Something you thought up on your own or someone you know?” he asked, glancing up at Markus expectantly.

“Actually he’s… Well, you know how you told me to try helping other people to get myself out of my creative block?” Markus said.

Carl hummed and nodded his head. “I do.”

“I guess it worked,” Markus said with a breathy chuckle. “I went to a homeless shelter and helped prepare meals for them on Christmas Eve. While I was there, I met…” he paused to look over at the canvas “…Him. Simon.” Markus continued to stare at his painting for a couple seconds before looking back to Carl and continuing.

“He was the only homeless person there that wasn’t just waiting around for someone else to take care of him. He was actually in the kitchens with the volunteers helping, even though he didn’t have to. He wanted to give back. It was refreshing to see.”

Carl smiled and leaned back in his wheelchair. “He seems like a wonderful young man.” There was a mysterious glint in the silver haired man’s eye that made Markus raise a single brow suspiciously, but he didn’t verbally address it, instead opting to further the conversation on Simon.

“I was really inspired by him and have to admit I drew more than a few doodles of him when I got home that night. I didn’t really think I’d bump into him again but then yesterday he showed up in the foyer of my apartment building.” Carl leaned forward in his seat as he heard this, clearly quite intrigued by Markus’ story. “I almost missed him, but managed to catch him on his way out. Apparently, he was visiting some friends that happened to live in one of the other units.”

“What a coincidence. Was he surprised to see you?” Carl asked.

“Quite,” Markus said, remembering Simon’s wide-eyed reaction when he called his name from the elevator. “I invited him up to my apartment, figuring maybe it was a chance we could become friends. He seemed really nervous at first but did end up agreeing to have a cup of tea with me. Some of my artwork was lying around my living room and he really seemed to like it.”

“That’s wonderful, I’m glad you were able to make friends with your new muse,” Carl grinned at him but Markus’ smile faltered as he remembered what happened next.

“Well… I don’t know about that. I think I messed things up and scared him away.” Markus glanced at the painting again with a regretful frown.

“What happened?” Carl coaxed him for more, clearly more than a little invested in what Markus was telling him.

“Honestly, I don’t really know,” Markus frowned. “Everything seemed fine one moment and the next he-“

The memory of how he’d met Simon at the shelter on Christmas Eve returned to him and Markus paused. Simon had accidentally touched Markus’ hand and was extremely quick to pull away then as well. Maybe he had a phobia of physical contact? Was that what had happened in his apartment as well as at the shelter?

“I think… Maybe he has Haphephobia? I accidentally brushed my hand against his at one point and that’s when he freaked out.”

“Freaked out?” Carl repeated with concern.

“He didn’t get angry or anything, he just jerked away and seemed really scared. I had to give him some space after that to calm down. But once he did, he wanted to leave.” Markus’ expression went from thoughtful to worried. “I hope he doesn’t hate me,” he added softly.

“Hmm…” Carl frowned and stared at Markus thoughtfully for a moment before speaking. “Homeless people often go through terrible things us more fortunate people can’t even imagine. Sometimes it leaves lasting marks that we can’t see just by looking at someone. Your friend, Simon, may be coping with some past issues. But I don’t think that means he hates you, Markus.”

“He ran out in an awful big hurry, Carl,” Markus countered.

“Did he say he never wanted to see you again?”

“Well… no.” Markus remembered the last thing Simon had said before leaving. “He actually said he wouldn’t mind hanging out again some other time.”

Carl smiled and nodded his head. “There you have it. He may have been overwhelmed in the moment, but he doesn’t hate you, Markus. He just needed to process whatever it was he was going through. When he’s ready, he’ll let you in, and you’ll be better prepared for it because now you know what triggered him and can avoid it.” 

Markus contemplated these words before allowing a small, hopeful smile to appear on his lips. Carl always did have a way of making things seem clearer, presenting issues in a way that made them seem easier to tackle and move forward with. It gave Markus hope that he and Simon could become friends after all. He let out a sigh before leaning back against a table holding various art supplies in a sort of half-sitting position.

“Maybe you’re right. I just- I don’t know what it is about him, but I really want to get to know him better. I hate that Simon lives out on the streets. I don’t know what all he’s been through but- you should have seen the exhaustion on his face -it’s really obvious he’s been through a lot. I wish I could give him a sanctuary from that.”

“Why don’t you offer to let him stay with you?” Carl asked, as if it were the most obvious, easy solution in the world.

“Carl, I can’t do that. I mean… I guess I could clear out the bedroom I’ve been using as an office. It hardly gets used anyways… Maybe…” 

What Markus had at first thought was a crazy idea suddenly started to make sense. He could easily make room for Simon by getting rid of junk he didn’t need. Simon wouldn’t even have to pay rent. Markus was already able to afford the two-bedroom apartment just fine by himself. Really, it wouldn’t be that hard. The only thing stopping him was the thought of what Simon might say to his proposition.

“I- I don’t know though, Carl. He might not want to. We barely know each other, and I already screwed things up last time I talked to him. He’s got no reason to trust me. Besides, I don’t want to hurt his pride.”

Carl scoffed at this. “What’s the worst he can do? Say no?” Despite how simple Carl made it sound, the idea of Simon saying no seemed like a soul crushing concept to Markus. Carl seemed to pick up on this, adding “Markus, if you never take the risk, Simon will never have the chance to say yes and he’ll be stuck still living out in the cold. Do you really want to do that to him?”

“No! Of course not,” Markus muttered.

“Then why don’t you make the offer and let him be the one to decide?” Carl said, reaching up to pat Markus’ shoulder affectionately.

Saying Markus wasn’t still extremely anxious about the idea would be a lie, but Carl was right. If he could help Simon, he wanted to at least try. The only problem would be finding him. Simon’s homelessness prevented him from having a stable, reliable place to be found at. Markus supposed the only thing he could do is check the shelter where he’d met him and hope for the best.

“Alright, Carl. If I can find him again, I’ll ask him.”


	8. Hopeless Wish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the encouraging comments and feedback! I love hearing from you guys and it really helps keep me inspired and going. I think the greatest motivator for me as a writer is getting reader interaction. That being said, I was wondering if any of you would be interested in a discord server where you, other fans following my work, and myself could just hang out and discuss the story, the game, and really anything in general. I love the community in this fandom and would like to make friends. Let me know in the comments if any of you are interested, and if I get enough people saying they'd like that, I'll go ahead and make a server and link it in the notes of a later chapter.
> 
> As always, I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

The interrogation (because no matter how you sugar coated it, that’s what their polite but insistent questioning amounted to) had lasted all night. Hank and Connor took turns coming in every few hours to probe Simon for answers. At first, they seemed focused on just piecing together what his relationship to North was and if he was involved in her crimes. But it seemed the more information the other officer, Gavin, dug up on Simon, the more curious they became about his past as well.

They must have decided to search pretty thoroughly, because the leading questions they had asked Simon indicated they had found some suggestive evidence of his past profession. Simon kept his answers truthful, but vague on purpose, not trusting the police for one moment. He was glad he did too, because the more they asked about it, the more he could tell they didn’t actually have anything solid against him, only a lot of tell-tale signs that left a lot to interpretation.

Honestly, Simon wasn’t sure it mattered if they knew or not at this point. It had been two years since he’d engaged in such activities and he doubted they could charge him with anything after that long. Still, he would rather be safe, just in case it somehow ended up biting not only him in the ass, but North, Traci, and Chloe as well. Besides, he’d always been of the opinion that the less anyone knew about his past, the better. It wasn’t something he wanted to share with them, cops or not.

Simon had been unaware of just how long he’d been held for questioning until they finally decided to let him go. When Hank came in for the last time, Simon thought he would be asked more questions and braced himself for another round, but instead Hank simply told him they weren’t going to hold him the full twenty-four hours and he was free to leave because they had determined he had nothing to do with North’s criminal activities from the previous night.

Surprised, but relieved, Simon followed Hank out into the office area of the precinct only to find that other officers were arriving for the day shift now. Glancing at a digital clock on one of the desks, Simon read that it was now 9 a.m. He really had been there all night.

The realization made him suddenly very aware of how utterly exhausted he was. Not only had yesterday been an extremely eventful and traumatic experience for him, but he had gone without sleep for more than twenty-four hours now. Not to mention the closest thing he’d had to a meal in that time was a cup of tea in Markus’ apartment.

“You look like shit.” The voice of the scruffy officer from before caught Simon’s attention and he looked at Gavin, still sitting at his desk, with tired eyes.

“How is your crotch?” Simon asked vindictively. “As bruised as your ego?”

Perhaps the lack of sleep was making Simon more irritable than he normally was. Then again, this cop’s disrespect for Simon’s privacy had caused him an ungodly amount of suffering through this whole ordeal. Despite Simon’s usual aversion to confrontation and natural tendency towards compassion, even in the face of his enemies, his filter was broken from fatigue and high stress levels. He didn’t feel he owed this man any kindness.

“Not as bruised as you were when they found you in a ditch,” Gavin retorted with a sickening smirk. “You were so fucked up it’s no wonder the news reported you as dead. Guess they didn’t fact check, but they still got some nice pictures of your busted-up face.”

Gavin turned the computer monitor on his desk to face him and Simon felt an intense wave of nausea overcome him as he saw the old news article displaying his broken body with the caption ‘Savagely Beaten Man Dumped Out of Moving Vehicle on Side of Freeway’. He quickly jerked his head away to avert his eyes from the graphic image of his past self. Gavin laughed as Simon’s knees became weak and he bent slightly to lean on another desk, holding a hand to his mouth to keep himself from throwing up.

Despite the cruel cop’s apparent amusement with Simon’s reaction, Hank, who had been standing not too far away, was not at all appreciative of Gavin’s behavior. He walked over and jabbed a finger into the power button on the computer screen, making the article disappear.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” The older policeman yelled before smacking Gavin upside the back of the head.

Gavin jumped to his feet and soon the two were shouting at each other loudly, but Simon just continued to lean on the desk with glazed over eyes staring downwards. The unexpected visual reminder of his trauma was enough to force another panic attack on him and he could feel it starting to take hold. His surroundings began to blur and muffle until the sensation of two gentle hands coming to rest on his shoulders snapped Simon back into reality.

Despite the grounding effect it had on him, Simon still jumped violently and spun around to face whoever had touched him. Standing awkwardly with his hands frozen between reaching out and recoiling, Connor stared at Simon with concern. The rookie officer clearly wasn’t sure what to do but was trying to comfort the distressed blonde. 

“Are you alright?” Connor asked apprehensively.

“I… Yes. I’m just tired,” Simon lied.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Connor didn’t seem convinced, but Simon shook his head in response before pausing and letting his eyes wander behind the young cop to the door of the room North was being held in.

“Actually, can you tell me how long North is going to be held here?” He knew she would be kept in a holding cell until they could figure out how to punish her, but having never been caught himself, he wasn’t sure how long that process took.

“A court date has been set for the day after tomorrow. Because of the circumstances of her arrest, she will likely only be fined before being let go, but we can’t be certain of that until the judge has made the decision,” Connor answered.

Simon nodded his head, letting his eyes linger on the small glass window in the door where he could see North’s profile frowning at the wall of her cell. He wished he could talk to her, apologize for abandoning her and the others, tell her how much he missed her, ask if they were all ok. But she was out of reach right now, and even if he could be allowed in her cell to talk to her, he doubted she would want to talk to him. She was probably still too angry.

“Are you sure there’s nothing else I can do to help you?” Connor tore Simon’s attention away from North, earning him another head shake.

“No. I’ll just leave now.”

“Before you do-“ Connor stopped Simon mid turn by reaching in front of him to pluck a card off of the desk he’d been leaning on before. “If you ever need anything, contact us,” the officer said, holding the card out to him between two fingers.

Simon raised an eyebrow at the other male skeptically. After the hell they’d put him through that night, it was doubtful Simon would ever think to come to them if anything ever came up. Still, he supposed it wouldn’t hurt to have the option. Slowly, Simon reached out and took the card from Connor, glancing down at the contact information written on it.

“Does Lieutenant Anderson often let you go around handing his phone number out to questionable people like me?” Simon glanced up through his lashes at the brunette officer with a slightly amused smile.

“Well, I’d give you a business card of my own,” Connor said, blushing slightly in embarrassment “but I’m still just a rookie. I don’t have anything like that yet. Hank is the senior officer assigned to me though. We are partners and I’m sure he would share the same sentiment in giving you his card if he weren’t preoccupied with Gavin at the moment.”

Both of them turned to glance at Gavin and Hank as they continued to bicker in the background while another man, presumably higher up in the chain of command, yelled something about taking it to the restroom to measure and settle the debate if they couldn’t get along. One side of Simon’s mouth twitched upwards into a half-smirk before he shook his head and looked back at Connor.

“Thanks,” he said, raising the card in his hand before tucking it into his back pocket.

“You’re welcome. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I may need to intervene before officer Reed gives the Lieutenant an aneurism.” Connor said before quickly dashing away to push Gavin and Hank apart.

Simon only watched the chaotic display for a few seconds before turning to glance towards North’s cell one more time with sad eyes. This time she was looking out the small window as well and caught his gaze with an equally regretful expression. Her hand reached up and pressed against the glass and Simon wanted so badly to go to her, but he knew he couldn’t. Instead he mouthed the words _“I’m sorry,”_ and hoped that she understood.

It was a bittersweet feeling for him when North let her hand slide down the glass and nodded her head in understanding. She may have been angry at him, and with every right to be, but in the end, she still seemed to care about him. Maybe she could even come to forgive him in time.

He hoped he would have the chance to properly apologize to her someday. Her and Traci and Chloe. They were like sisters to him and he wanted more than anything to take them away from the suffering Zlatko had and still was putting them through. But in reality, he knew he was too much of a coward. The idea of ever facing that man again terrified Simon and he couldn’t bring himself to even entertain the thought of it.

With a heavy heart, Simon turned his back on North and left her and the still squabbling lawmen behind as he walked out of the police station. He wasn’t sure where he would go. Hungry and tired as he was, the shelter wouldn’t open again until 4 p.m. so he was left to wander the streets once more with no certain future.


	9. Two Types of Luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of just a short transitional chapter to get Simon from point A to point B so I'm sorry if it's not as exciting as some of the other's, but hopefully it's still enjoyable.

It had been a few hours since Simon had left the police station, and as much fun as he was having wandering around the city with an empty stomach and a massive headache from lack of sleep, he wasn’t sure he could keep it up much longer. At least the cloud cover had trapped some heat in the atmosphere and it wasn’t quite as cold today as it had been last night. The snow on the streets had melted into slush, colored an ugly shade of brown from the dirt and gravel.

Simon shuffled past busy bodies that crowded the sidewalks, all trying to take advantage of the post-Christmas sales of stores that had overstocked for the holidays and now needed to get rid of excess inventory. It was a relief when he made it out of the thick of the market district, no longer feeling like he was going to be trampled by overzealous shoppers. He continued walking aimlessly until the university came into view.

Although he’d never set foot on a college campus in his life, seeing the university logo stirred something in his memories. He hadn’t thought about it in a long time, but it seemed now that the door to his past had been opened, the unfortunate events of his history were flooding his mind. At least this particular memory wasn’t so terrible.

The image of a tall, dark skinned male wearing a Detroit University sweater and sitting in a chair, reading to Simon as he lay in a hospital bed, played in his head. Josh had been the driver behind the group of gang members that had thrown Simon from the bed of their truck as they drove down the freeway. He had witnessed their attempt to dump his body after they had broken it and he was the first person to pull off the side of the road and call 911. Simon had been unconscious through all of that and only found out this information later, when he woke up in a hospital bed days later to see the stranger reading aloud to him as he slept.

To say Simon was disoriented and confused at the time was an understatement, but Josh had explained to him that he had been thought dead at first, but when the EMT’s arrived, they found a faint pulse and rushed him to the hospital. Josh had insisted on following them to make sure Simon was ok, despite having no idea who he was. He’d said watching Simon get thrown from the truck at those speeds had been so frightening that he just had to make sure he was ok and would make it.

Of course, the nurses didn’t let him visit until after Simon was in stable condition, but as soon as he was, Josh had come to check on him and had continued to return periodically while Simon slept in a medically induced coma. Even having no prior relationship to Simon, Josh had invested a few hours every day in checking on Simon to make sure he was recovering alright.

Josh hadn’t stopped visiting just because Simon woke up either. He continued to come and read to Simon or talk with him each afternoon as he healed. But more than that, Josh had given Simon a place to stay after he’d been discharged from the hospital until he was well enough to make it on his own. It had meant a lot to the blonde male that Josh had saved his life, not just by calling the ambulance, but also in helping him through the recovery process and giving him a friend when he was most alone in the world.

It had been so long since Simon had spoken to Josh though. He wondered if the other man still worked as a paid tutor in the student help center of this university. He’d often told Simon stories about the crazy things that went on in a college setting, some a little disturbing, but most just involving humorous shenanigans of drunken students.

Simon kept walking as he remembered all of this, following the sidewalk trail that ran beside the university and glancing at the school buildings curiously. Eventually that curiosity got the better of him and he diverted from his path with a new destination in mind. Though, he wasn’t exactly sure how to get there. Luckily, after crossing through the snow dusted lawn in front of a few buildings, he found a large map of the campus posted near one of the walkways.

Dusting some of the lingering snow from last night off of the billboard, Simon took a moment to find what he was looking for. Eventually, his gaze landed on the tiny letters spelling out ‘Student Support Center’ across one of the building markers. Placing one of his gloved fingers on this, he used his other hand to trace across the map until he found the ‘You Are Here’ marker. Simon narrowed his eyes, even though they weren’t focusing on anything in particular, unaware of the idiosyncratic mouth movements he made as he calculated how to get to the help center. Simon only hoped Josh would be waiting for him there when he arrived.

Really, he wasn’t even sure what he was going to say to Josh, or why he had decided to venture out in search of the other male at all. But the idea was in his head now and it wouldn’t leave until he acted on it. So, not knowing what to expect, Simon made his way to the building he was after and reached for the door handle to enter.

He pulled only to find that it wouldn’t budge. The corners of his mouth turned downwards, and a crease formed between his brows as he pulled a little harder with the same result. Realizing that the door was locked, Simon glanced around helplessly only to notice that there was a distinct lack of students walking from class to class for a Tuesday morning. An eerie feeling came over him but only lasted for a moment before it was replaced by embarrassment.

Of course no one was around and the buildings were all locked. It was the day after Christmas, everyone would be on winter break. How had Simon been so stupid? He groaned and banged his head on the door in front of him a couple times in frustration. Opting to blame his idiocy on a lack of sleep, Simon gave up, turning to lean his back against the side of the building and sliding down it pathetically with his head in his hands. He let out a low groan of frustration and felt his eyes sting as tears started to form again.

It was stupid of him to get this upset over nothing. He knew it was a long shot to see Josh again, and honestly, he’d only wanted to say hi to him on a whim. There wasn’t even a real purpose to him wanting to see his friend, it just would have been really nice to have something, anything, go right for him after all the shit he’d just been through. But luck had never really been on Simon’s side, had it?

Before he knew it, Simon had started crying as he sat propped against the cold brick building with his fingers digging into his hair and messing it up. At least no one was around to see him like this. Or so Simon thought.

A clicking noise came from the door he’d been unsuccessfully yanking on just a few seconds ago, causing him to look up, startled. An unfamiliar face peeked out from behind the door before looking down at Simon with a raised eyebrow. The blonde blinked through wet lashes back up at the stranger, an involuntary hiccup punctuating his surprise.

“I heard knocking. Most of the campus shuts down during the holidays, but… you look like you’re really struggling. Did you need help with an assignment?” the man asked, opening the door all the way to reveal himself. He had an ebony complexion like Josh’s, but he was shorter and wearing a campus security uniform. “If it’s stressing you out so much that you’re out here having a mental breakdown, I can get you in touch with one of the tutors. Some of them are willing to help out over breaks if you call them at home.”

It took a moment for Simon to figure out how to respond, but then he realized he could use the security guard’s mistaken assumption to his advantage. He quickly pushed himself up off the ground, wiping the tears from his face with his coat sleeve and nodding his head.

“Yes please,” Simon said through a few sniffles. “Actually, do you think you could get me Josh’s number, specifically?”

“I don’t really know who the tutors are,” replied the security guard, “but there’s a list of contact info for them on the memo board inside. I’ll let you in long enough to get the number you need.”

The guard held the door open for Simon and stepped to the side to let him into the building. He followed the blonde with curious eyes as he spotted the memo board and walked towards it. Simon scanned it for the list before his pale blue eyes settled on Josh’s name and number.

“Can I write it down on something?” he asked, turning to face the security guard again.

He was glad when the guard didn’t ask why he wouldn’t just use a cell phone and instead crossed the room to fetch a pen and a sticky note from a desk before returning and handing it to Simon.

“Thank you, umm…” Simon looked down at the guard’s nametag before taking the paper and pen and finishing his sentence. “John.”

The guard smiled and nodded at him, so Simon returned the gesture before facing back to the memo board and copying down Josh’s phone number. One of these days he’d really have to see about getting steady employment and buying a cellphone of his own. For now, hopefully the guard wouldn’t mind letting him borrow the landline sitting on the desk nearby.

“Could I..?” he asked, using the pen to gesture towards the phone.

John didn’t seem to mind at all and merely shrugged his shoulders. “Be my guest.”

Simon strode over to the desk and dialed Josh’s number, still unsure of quite what to say to his friend when he picked up the call. It rang long enough to make Simon’s anxiety spike, but finally, a familiar voice spoke from the other end.

“Hello?”

“Josh? I, um… I don’t know if you remember me, but it’s Simon.” He glanced at the security guard nervously as he waited for a reply.

“…Holy crap. Simon? It’s been so long. Is everything ok? You aren’t in trouble again, are you?” There was concern in Josh’s voice, but Simon quickly tried to dispel it.

“No, no. Not like that. I just-“ Again, Simon glanced at John, not wanting to say anything that might make the guard realize he wasn’t actually a student. Choosing his words carefully, he continued. “I was wondering if I could come over and get your help with something. It’s nothing too big, I’m just struggling a lot and could really use someone to talk to about it.”

“Yeah, of course! You remember where I live, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then yeah, come on over. How close are you?” Josh asked.

“Not far. I should be able to walk there in about ten minutes.” Thankfully, Josh lived close to where he worked.

“I’ll see you soon then.”

Simon gave a soft “ok” before hanging up and looking at the security guard again. “Thank you,” he said with a polite smile.

“No problem. Good luck with your assignment.” John seemed none the wiser as he walked Simon back out of the student help center and waved goodbye before reentering the building alone.

Deciding not to jinx his unexpected turn of luck, Simon wasted no time in starting down the road towards Josh’s house. There wasn’t really any need to hurry, but he still found himself walking briskly, perhaps only because he was excited things were finally looking up for him. Even if it were only something as small as visiting an old friend, Simon felt like Josh was the one person in the world he could talk to about everything that was happening to him now.

Josh was the only one that Simon had opened up to about his past while still being aware of his continued life after everything had happened. As such, he was the only one that would understand everything he’d gone through yesterday, and really, that’s all Simon needed; someone to vent to about it all.


	10. Catching Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. I've been playing the game now that I own it, but I finally finished my first playthrough (best ending, saved everyone that could possibly be saved, yay!) so I shouldn't be quite as distracted anymore. Chapters will hopefully come as fast as they were before now.

It had been a while since Simon had been to the small rental that his friend lived in. When he had been staying with Josh two years prior, he’d spent most of that time stuck inside healing. He wasn’t as familiar with the outside as he was with the interior, so he almost passed the house he was looking for. Luckily, Josh had been waiting for him and stepped outside when he saw Simon walking on the icy sidewalk in front of the house.

“Simon, how have you been?” the taller male asked, walking out to greet him. “Come on inside.”

Simon smiled and let Josh put a hand on his back to guide him into the house. Once they were inside, Simon took his coat off and looked around. Not much had changed, it was almost like he’d never left. Several full bookshelves lined the walls, a cluttered computer desk sat in the corner of the living room, the open dining room still had the same tiny card table with only one decent chair set up at it while a few folding chairs leaned against the wall waiting to be used if company was over, and of course, the hide-a-bed sofa that Simon had slept on sat as a sort of divider between the living room and dining room so you’d have to look over the top of it if you wanted to watch television while you ate.

“Almost two years…” Josh said, pulling Simon’s attention back to him. “You seem to be in better shape than you were back then.”

Simon gave a hollow smile and looked down. “Well, I’ve had a lot of time to heal. Though, I’m afraid I’ll never quite be the same as I was before.” 

“You look tired.” Josh walked over to the sofa, still looking at Simon as he sat and patted the spot next to him.

“Honestly, I’m exhausted. You wouldn’t believe what I’ve been through these past few hours,” Simon said, relaxing into the cushions next to Josh and leaning his head against the backrest. 

Josh frowned in concern. “What happened?”

“It’s…” Simon wasn’t even sure how to begin. “I’ve been living on the streets. I never was able to get permanent housing and the only employment I could manage was odd jobs here and there. Nothing that would stick. I do frequent a shelter that rarely turns me down, mostly because I help out a lot there.”

“Si, why didn’t you come back here? I told you before, you never had to leave.” 

“I know. But I didn’t want to be a burden on you. You don’t make much as a tutor and having another mouth to feed wasn’t doing you any favors. Besides, it actually hasn’t been all that bad,” Simon reassured. “The volunteers that organize and run the shelter are really nice and most nights I have a hot meal and a bed waiting for me there. I’ve been doing fine.”

Josh looked doubtful but didn’t push the subject. “Alright, so what changed? You said things have been rough recently.”

For a moment Simon hesitated. He had told Josh about Zlatko. He already knew what the detestable man had forced Simon and the girls into. Somehow it was still hard for Simon to talk about though, even if it was with the person that had helped him cover up the fact that he’d survived just so he could escape all of that.

“I ran into North last night.”

“… Oh, shit.” Some of the color drained from Josh’s face as he realized what this could mean for Simon.

“Exactly.” Simon nodded his head before continuing to spend the next half hour explaining what had happened at the police station.

When he had finished, Josh ran a hand across his face before shaking his head and glancing back at Simon. He looked stressed by everything the blonde had told him. It made Simon start to feel guilty that he’d come here and laid this all on him.

“Do you think she’s going to tell Zlatko?” Josh asked.

Simon took a moment to think about this before slowly shaking his head. “No… No, I don’t think so. She’s angry at me but we’re like family to each other. I doubt she’d put me in that position. At least not on purpose. She might tell Traci and Chloe though, and even though I trust them too, the more people that know a secret, the harder it is to keep it.”

Josh’s frown deepened. “You really care about them a lot, don’t you?”

“Of course I do. They’re like sisters to me. I just wish I could help them somehow.”

Josh stared at Simon with a deeply contemplative expression on his face, causing the blonde to tilt his head expectantly at the other. For a few seconds, they sat in silence, before Josh finally spoke. When he did, his words had a cautious tone.

“What if you could?” He must have picked up on the instant anxiety that Simon felt because both of them shifted in their seats uncomfortably before he continued. “You said those cops gave you their business card. Maybe they could take Zlatko down with your help. Just think about it, Simon. Not only would you be helping your friends, but if you put Zlatko behind bars, you wouldn’t have to worry about him ever finding out and hurting you or anyone else ever again.”

Simon squirmed on the couch, suddenly feeling restless as his eyes darted around the room nervously. “I can’t. Josh, I can’t.” 

His voice came out weak and pathetic, just like he felt. He knew he was a coward, and he hated it, but there were too many ways it could go wrong. The risk was too high. He would end up right back in Zlatko’s control. Even worse, North, Chloe, and Traci would all pay just as much as he would, because once North told them Simon was alive, Zlatko would find out they had kept it from him. When everything went wrong and he found out Simon was the one trying to bring him down, he’d kill them all, but not before doing horrible things to them first.

Josh sighed, the disappointment on his face making Simon’s heart wrench in his chest. “I know you’re scared Simon. But what if he finds out? Wouldn’t it be better to already be working on taking him down so he can’t do anything about it when he does?”

“I don’t know… Maybe.” Simon said softly, not looking his friend in the eye.

“Just think about it. And don’t lose that card, just in case you do decide to try.” Josh stood up and patted Simon on the shoulder, causing the blonde to flinch slightly, before walking around the sofa and through the dining room to the kitchen area.

Simon stayed put but watched as Josh reached into a cupboard and pulled out a half full bag of potato chips. The taller male then proceeded to grab a can of soda pop out of the fridge before walking back and holding the junk food out to Simon.

“I know it’s not healthy, but it will tide you over until I can order us some Chinese takeout. Besides, you don’t look like you need to be watching your weight,” Josh said with a playful smile.

“I could probably stand to put on a few pounds, huh?” Simon joked back, taking the chips and soda.

Normally Simon would try to be polite as he ate, but as soon as the first potato chip entered his mouth, the hunger he’d been feeling hit full force and he quickly devoured the entire bag, only stopping occasionally to take a drink between bites. He could see Josh throwing him amused looks while he called the takeout place to order them lunch. Even though he was embarrassed, he couldn’t bring himself to care enough to stop shoving food in his face until what he’d been given was completely gone. Josh didn’t even pause the phone conversation to take the empty bag from Simon and throw it out before returning to the room and tossing an apple his way. 

Simon caught the fruit in his hand and smiled gratefully at the tall man before taking a bite. Josh was such a good friend. He could kiss him if his mouth weren’t so busy chewing on another mouthful of apple. 

“Alright, food should be here in a few minutes.” Josh hung up his phone and relaxed on the couch next to Simon, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. “Until then, you wanna talk and catch up?”

Simon swallowed his bite and slowly shrugged his shoulders. “I suppose. I’m not sure I have much to say aside from what I’ve already told you. But you could tell me about how things have been for you.”

“Oh, I’ve just been doing the same boring stuff as always,” Josh replied with a wave of his hand. “Tutoring in the University help center and putting up with student drama. I had a girlfriend and was going steady for a while there, but things didn’t work out and we broke up a few weeks ago.”

“That’s too bad, I’m sorry.” Simon frowned sympathetically.

“It happens.” Josh didn’t seem too upset, shrugging his shoulders casually. “What about you?” 

Simon blinked a few times with a blank look on his face. “What about me?” he asked.

“Well, just because you’re homeless doesn’t mean you can’t go out and date people, right? Have you met anyone special since you left?”

“Oh…” Simon glanced downwards and a slow blush crept into his cheeks as a handsome face came to mind. “No, not really. I mean…” he trailed off, letting his eyes dart to the side nervously.

“Uh huh. Who’s the guy?” Josh had a knowing smile on his face as Simon looked up at him with a bit of surprise.

“What?” He’d told Josh he was gay pretty early on in their friendship, but what surprised him was that he could tell Simon had someone specific in mind despite denying having any romantic relationships the past two years.

“Simon, it’s pretty obvious by your reaction you’ve got your eyes on someone, even if you aren’t actively dating them.”

Simon’s lips pursed into a pout and his cheeks flushed a deeper pink. “Am I really that easy to read?”

“Easier than the textbooks I spend all day teaching out of,” Josh laughed.

Using mock irritation in an attempt to hide his embarrassment, Simon huffed and looked away. Josh’s response was to pull his feet off the table and turn to face Simon with eager interest as he waited for him to spill the beans. Pale blue hues narrowed at the darker skinned male through the corner of Simon’s eye before rolling upwards when Josh wiggled his eyebrows to tease him.

“Fine,” Simon tried not to smile as he faced Josh, who had a smug look of triumph on his face. “On Christmas Eve, there were some new faces volunteering at the shelter I usually stay at. One of them really caught my eye. He was so handsome and kind…” 

Simon felt the heat rising to his cheeks again as he pulled his feet up to sit cross-legged, fidgeting with the apple in his hands. He felt like a child gossiping to his best friend about his first crush. It was stupid, but at the same time, it had been so long since he’d felt this way; innocent and silly. It was kind of nice.

“Did you get his number?” Josh asked, acting just as childish as Simon felt, which, admittedly was a little out of character for his friend, considering how reasonable and mature he usually was.

“What? Of course not!” Simon looked at him like he had gone crazy. “He’s probably straight. Besides, who wants a dirty homeless person hitting on them?”

Josh scoffed in a way that somehow sounded like a reprimand. “Don’t sell yourself short, Si. Any man would be lucky to have your heart of gold. Besides, you’re probably the most attractive looking homeless person in the world, and that’s coming from a straight guy.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re my friend,” Simon frowned.

“Shut up about your insecurities and tell me more about this guy,” Josh said dismissively, earning a dirty look from Simon before he humored him.

“I ran into him again by chance yesterday, before the whole thing with North.” Simon looked down at the apple he was holding in his lap again. “He actually invited me up to his apartment for a cup of tea, if you can believe that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He’s an artist too. I wish I could show you some of his paintings, they were beautiful. Not just on a visual level either. The concepts behind them and the themes he used…” Simon’s tone gradually shifted from playful to reverent as he continued. “You can tell he’s passionate about a lot of important ethical and political issues, things like equal rights and saving the environment. When I looked at them it was like I could see into a deeper part of him, the things he cares about most, and it only made me fall for him that much more.” 

A kind smile softened Josh’s features as he listened to Simon’s adoration, but as soon as the blonde fell silent, he jumped right back to the teasing tone.

“You’re so in love I can practically see the hearts in your eyes when you talk about him.” 

The blush returned to Simon’s cheeks as another grumpy frown formed on his features. Josh only laughed at him, so Simon punched him in the arm, but this only made him laugh harder. 

“Shut up, Josh! I can’t be in love, I only met him a couple days ago,” Simon mumbled.

“You’re head over heels! Not that I can blame you, he sounds dreamy.” Simon threw him another dirty look, but Josh just ignored it. “So does this hunk have a name?”

Simon contemplated withholding the information from Josh, just because he was being such a jerk about it, but in the end, he couldn’t help himself. He told him, even if it was just so he could taste the name on his tongue and savor it again.

“Markus.”


	11. Offering Sanctuary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moment I'm sure you've all been waiting for is at hand. Though, rest assured, it's nowhere near the end. 
> 
> Also, Markus may be a slightly manipulative little shit, but we'll just call it strategic diplomacy.

After they had eaten lunch together, Josh was gracious enough to let Simon crash on his couch and take a much-needed nap while the taller male sat at the desk on the other side of the room typing away at his laptop. The soft clicking of the keys was soothing for Simon and it didn’t take long at all for him to slip into a deep, dreamless sleep. He could have stayed like that for several more hours if his friend hadn’t woken him up with a gentle taping on his foot.

“Hey, I know you told me to wake you up around three-thirty, but you seemed like you needed the rest, so I let you sleep in a bit. I hope that’s ok,” Josh said, looking down at Simon from the other end of the sofa.

Sleepy blue eyes blinked up at Josh as he struggled to force himself awake. Although he felt ten times better after his nap, he still wasn’t satisfied and wanted more than anything to roll over and drift into dreamland again. He was contemplating doing just that, but decided he’d better at least find out how long he’d been out already.

“What time is it?” he asked, groggily slurring his words and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“About five o’clock,” Josh replied.

Simon pushed himself into a sitting position and glanced at the clock hanging on the wall in the dining room across from them to confirm this. It was, indeed, a few minutes past five. Josh had let him sleep in far too long. Though, Simon couldn’t hold it against him. He was right, the tired blonde had needed it. Still, he was worried about how late it already was.

A groan of disappointment escaped Simon’s lips before he abandoned the idea of returning to sleep and shifted his body to swing his legs over the side of the sofa. “I’ve got to get to the shelter before it’s full. If it’s not already.”

“Why don’t you let me drive you?” Josh offered. “Then you can get there faster and your chances will be better.”

“I don’t want to bother you.” Simon started to protest but Josh had already snatched his keys up off his desk and was slipping his coat on.

“No bother. Come on,” he said, tossing Simon his coat as well.

Knowing better than to argue, Simon put the extra layer on before standing up and following Josh outside the house. They both climbed into the tiny, fuel efficient economy car Josh drove, and Simon smiled at the nostalgic sound of his friend muttering under his breath about what a pain it was for his long limbs to fit inside the damned thing. Once the car was started up, Simon gave him the address to plug into the navigation app on his phone and they pulled out of the driveway, beginning the short trip to the shelter. It wasn’t long before they pulled up to the old building and Josh unlocked the doors to let Simon out.

“Thanks, Josh,” Simon said as he climbed out of the passenger side and ducked down to wave goodbye.

“No problem. Just promise me you won’t wait two more years to get back in touch again.” Josh gave him a stern, but playful look, holding out his fist for Simon to bump.

“I’ll try to visit more often,” he smiled and nudged his friend’s knuckles with his own before shutting the door and watching Josh wave before driving off.

As the car disappeared around the corner, Simon turned around to enter the shelter and see if he could get a bed, hoping he wasn’t too late. The moment he walked into the front desk area, the petite woman who volunteered as the receptionist stood up from her seat and walked over to greet Simon.

“I’m so glad to see you back, Simon. Rose was worried when you didn’t show up last night,” she said, reaching out a sepia toned hand to tenderly touch his shoulder. “We could have used your help making the beds up, we were short staffed.”

Simon gave an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Lucy. I got wrapped up in some unexpected business. I’m not too late to help out tonight, am I?”

“All the beds have been made and dinner has already been prepared and served to most of the occupants. I’m afraid there’s not much for you to do tonight, but we still saved a bed for you.” Lucy gave him a kind smile before returning to her desk. She nodded her head to the side to indicate he should go find Rose, but before Simon made it to the door leading further into the building, she stopped him. “By the way, you also have someone else here looking for you.”

Simon paused to raise an eyebrow at that. “I do? Who?”

“Someone who will set you free by asking you to stay.”

Lucy had a habit of giving very cryptic information like this from time to time. Simon had learned not to persist in asking about it, because the more she elaborated, the more confusing her answers became. At least until he went and found out for himself. Then suddenly her words would all make sense. It was almost like she could see things other people couldn’t. Sometimes Simon wondered if she was some mystical being from a higher plane of existence.

He stared at her for a few seconds as she casually shuffled some papers on her desk and typed something up on the computer, blissfully unaware of the confusion she’d caused him. With a deep breath and a shake of his head, Simon let her be and continued into the shelter to find Rose.

Over by the doors that led to the kitchen, close to the farthest wall from where he stood, he could see Rose deep in conversation with a hooded figure who had their back facing Simon so he couldn’t see their face. The concerned look on Rose’s face coupled with the mystery of who she was talking to set alarms off in Simon’s head. He instantly felt his heart rate increase and his body tense up as his mind jumped to the worst conclusion. Zlatko had found him and sent someone to retrieve him.

Just as fight or flight was about to kick in, Rose noticed him and the bright look of recognition she expressed caused the hooded figure to turn and follow her gaze. Panic filled Simon for just a fraction of a second as he thought she’d just given him away to someone very bad, but then the handsome features of Markus registered and Simon felt a strong wave of relief wash over him.

The three of them started walking towards each other, meeting halfway. Rose was the first to speak, placing her hands on either side of Simon and looking him up and down, no doubt inspecting him for any signs he’d been hurt. Markus just stood quietly beside her and watched as she addressed the blonde.

“Simon, I was so worried when you didn’t show up last night! And tonight, you’re later than normal. I was afraid something bad happened to you.” She frowned as her eyes caught something and she grabbed Simon’s chin to tilt his head up. “Where did you get that?”

Simon furrowed his eyebrows in confusion for a moment before remembering the shallow cut on his neck where the teens from yesterday had nicked him with a knife. It had completely skipped his mind and he was surprised she even noticed it, seeing as no one else had. Not even Markus had taken note of the very minor injury when he was in his apartment with him yesterday. But then, Rose always seemed to notice everything, the motherly instincts in her being so strong as they were.

“It’s nothing, Rose. Really,” he reassured. “It’s not even deep enough to need a band-aid.”

“Are you ok, Simon?” This time it was Markus who spoke, the shadows the hood cast on his face masking his expression but unable to keep the concern in his voice hidden.

“I’m fine.” He looked between Rose and Markus, neither seeming entirely convinced. “I promise, I’m fine,” Simon repeated more insistently.

“It’s unusual for you not to show up here, Si,” Rose said, still looking worried. “Even on nights we have to turn you away, you always check in.”

Simon frowned and tried to think of a way to calm her fears. He didn’t want to lie to her, but he knew telling her the full story would only make her more upset. Besides, after he’d vented everything to Josh and got it out of his system, he wasn’t really eager to talk about it again. He knew if he said too much, both Rose and Markus would want details that he wasn’t willing to give.

“I’m sorry, Rose. I ran into some old friends and we ended up spending a lot more time than I expected catching up. I didn’t mean to worry you.” It wasn’t technically a lie, though it was definitely leaving out a lot. He could only hope it was enough to satisfy her.

Rose’s cheeks puffed out as she drew her lips into a thin line. She still didn’t seem entirely happy with his answer, but a sigh escaped her as she finally accepted it. Her hands rested on her hips and she shook her head before looking back up at him.

“Alright. I made a bed up for you earlier if you want it. You might not need it anymore though.” Another confused expression appeared on Simon’s face at her words, but Rose’s only explanation was to glance at Markus before walking off towards the shelter’s kitchens.

Simon watched her disappear before turning his attention to the other male expectantly. Bronze colored hands reached up to pull the hood off of Markus’ head as he shifted his stance and looked at Simon intently. His mouth opened as if to say something, only to close again as his lips pursed slightly in frustration. Simon did his best to be patient, but had to admit he was anxious to know what Markus had to say. He waited with bated breath as the other male stared at him with a determined frown.

Finally, Markus seemed to find his words, though spoke them with careful measure. “I know we aren’t very close yet, but I was wondering if I could propose an idea to you.”

He paused, looking like he was still trying to figure out the best way to phrase whatever this idea was. One of Simon’s eyebrows twitched upwards as he silently waited for more. Markus cleared his throat and started again, looking far more nervous than Simon was used to seeing him.

“Now, I don’t want you to think this is a handout, or that I’m doing it out of pity. I want to strike a sort of deal with you.” Simon frowned at this and Markus seemed to take note, hastily continuing in what must have been a hope that his explanation would improve the blonde’s reaction.

“You already saw that I’m an artist. I’m trying to improve my skills, but I’ve been really struggling with inspiration lately. At least I was, before I met you.”

This statement earned an entirely different reaction from Simon. His expression went from skepticism to surprise instantly as his mouth fell open and his eyebrows shot up.

Markus continued, seeming to gain a bit of confidence from the change in Simon’s demeanor. “You’ve kind of become my new muse. Ever since spending time with you on Christmas Eve, I’ve noticed visible improvement in my paintings and drawings.”

Blood rushed to Simon’s cheeks as he felt both flattered at the other man’s words, and impressed that Markus had somehow managed to mesmerize him into maintaining steady eye contact with him, despite how much he wanted to be bashful and look away.

“You inspire me, Simon. I want to keep the source of my inspiration close, but it’s hard to do that with you wandering around the streets where I can’t find you easily.” Markus seemed to notice Simon move his mouth in an attempt to say something, but quickly added more, not giving him the chance. “I got to thinking, maybe there’s an easy solution to my problem that could help not just me, but you too-

_“What if you moved into my apartment with me?”_

There it was; the point of all this.

The air in Simon’s lungs seemed to just vanish unexpectedly, without any reasonable cause or explanation. He blinked rapidly at Markus, feeling a little lightheaded. How on earth was Simon supposed to respond to that?

“Simon?” All the confidence that had slowly been building in Markus when he was speaking before seemed to fall away as he looked at the dumbfounded blonde with clear concern written on his features.

“I- You want me to live with you?” asked Simon in disbelief.

“Well, yeah,” Markus said matter-of-factly. “It would be beneficial for both of us. You wouldn’t be homeless anymore, and I can finally stop wasting my talent away in a perpetual state of creative block.”

It sounded too good to be true. Was Simon still sleeping on Josh’s couch and this was all some dream playing out his wildest fantasies? It had to be. Simon was dreaming. This was just some cruel joke his own brain was playing on him. Maybe he really had lost his marbles when he had that mental break down last night. Then again, the past few days all seemed unreal by now. He felt like he’d fallen down the rabbit hole and was lost in wonderland. What could he possibly expect next?

“Simon… did I break you?” Markus’ voice pulled him out of his thoughts again and Simon felt the temperature of his face steadily climbing.

“I don’t know what to say, Markus.”

On one hand he wanted more than anything to say yes and jump at the chance to finally get off the streets. On the other, he really didn’t know Markus very well and considering everything he’d been through recently, he wasn’t sure if trusting such an impossibly wonderful offer was such a good idea. Then there was also the fact that it was someone Simon found extremely attractive that was putting this offer on the table at all, which was exhilarating in both senses of the word. The thought filled him with terrified anticipation _and_ giddy excitement.

“I know it’s a lot to consider. You don’t have to decide right now if you don’t want to. You can take as much time as you need.” Markus seemed a little crestfallen as he spoke, almost like he was already afraid Simon had made up his mind against it. “I won’t try to pressure you into it either, I just wanted to give you the option,” he said with a small frown.

Maybe it was the way that he made it clear it was Simon’s choice, or maybe it was the way he seemed so sincere with his emotions, but for some reason, Simon finally decided he could trust Markus. There were still a few other concerns that needed to be addressed before he made a decision though.

“Are you sure you have space for me?” the blonde asked, starting with the most obvious question first.

Markus’ face suddenly lit up with hope as he eagerly replied. “I’ll have to clear out the second bedroom for you since I was using it as an office before, but I don’t really need that stuff there anyways.”

“What about finances?”

“I already afford the rent just fine. You don’t have to worry about it.” Markus’ oversimplified response earned a frown from Simon. He wasn’t sure the other man was truly aware of what having another person to take care of did to someone’s wallet.

“It’s not just the rent, Markus. What about food and toiletries and other random expenses? I don’t have a steady job. If I go through with this, I intend to do my very best to get one, but I can’t promise it will happen overnight. I’ve already been seeking employment for years now with no success,” he explained.

“Don’t worry about it, Simon,” Markus repeated, shaking his head. “I’ll cover everything.”

Simon’s eyes narrowed. He wasn’t just going to let this go. “Markus, what do you do for a living?”

“I’m a caregiver, why?”

“Caregivers don’t make much.”

Markus’ expression changed in a way Simon hadn’t yet seen before, his jaw tightening and a small crease forming between his brows. It was subtle, but Simon could tell he was becoming irritated. Despite Markus’ face remaining handsome and the harder expression even complimenting his good looks, the feeling of unease that came over Simon upon seeing this shift in the other male left him wondering if he should have been quite so curt.

When Markus spoke, his tone was unexpectedly calm and controlled, but this actually made the uneasy feeling Simon had worse. “Fine. I can take on more clients to get more hours. Or, with you around to help my art improve, I can start selling my paintings. _If_ money becomes an issue, I’ll figure _something_ out. But **_you_** don’t have to worry about it. Alright?”

The emphasis Markus put on his words was sharp but somehow still even, and the intensity of his gaze made a shiver run up Simon’s spine. There were a lot of words Simon would choose to describe Markus, most of them flattering, but up until now, ‘intimidating’ hadn’t been one of them. In this particular moment, it was at the top of the list. In an attempt to avoid conflict with what he was only just beginning to realize was a force to be reckoned with, Simon agreed his understanding after swallowing nervously.

“Ah-alright…” The word passed Simon’s lips in a ragged breath.

Markus’ eyes remained locked on Simon’s with that same intensity for a few lingering moments before softening all of a sudden, and for the first time, Simon noticed that they weren’t just lighter hues, but one was a different color than the other.

“Does that mean you’ll come live with me?” The dramatic change in Markus’ tone threw Simon off, as he now sounded like a hopeful child asking his mother if the wish he’d just made on a shooting star would come true.

“I- um… I guess so.”

Although that wasn’t what he’d intended when he’d said ‘alright’, Simon couldn’t think of a reason to say no. Despite the fact that Markus’ brief irritation had such a strong effect on Simon, it didn’t set off any red flags for him, because he’d never raised his voice, never made a move to threaten or harm him, and everything he’d said was designed to keep Simon from worrying about something that Markus was willing to take care of so he wouldn’t have to. In the end, his argument left little to debate, because it was all aimed to help Simon, not force him into something he didn’t want to do.

“Really?” The excitement in Markus’ voice was very poorly masked and the look on his face gave him away even more.

“Yeah,” Simon blinked a few times, feeling a bit confused at exactly how he’d come to the decision, but not really feeling displeased about it. One corner of Simon’s mouth slowly curled upward into a crooked smile as he looked at the excitement in Markus’ heterochromatic green and blue eyes. “I’ll move in with you.”


	12. Moving Toward Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I'm just really tired, but this was a very emotional chapter to write.

Markus couldn’t believe it. He’d actually convinced Simon to say yes. He had been so sure the skittish blonde would refuse that he’d actually been afraid he would literally run away from him the moment he asked, like a frightened animal. But not only had Simon stayed to listen, he’d also talked about it rationally with him before coming to a decision. And that decision was a ‘ _yes’._

Markus could sing, he was so happy. The fact that Simon was smiling too only made it better. Though, Simon’s smile looked far more dignified than the dopey, ear-to-ear grin Markus couldn’t help but wear. He drew in a deep breath through his nose, letting his chest puff out a bit as he tried to contain his excitement.

“Fantastic! Do you need to grab anything before we go?” he asked, already eager to take Simon home.

“Wha- You want me to move in tonight?” the blonde floundered. “I thought you said you had to clear out a room for me first.”

“Well, I will, but we can work on that tomorrow. Tonight, you can take my bed and I’ll sleep on the couch,” Markus shrugged, not thinking much of it.

“Mm-Markus, I don’t want to kick you out of your own bedroom. Rose said she saved me a bed. I can stay here tonight, until you’re ready.”

Markus could practically feel the uneasiness return to Simon as the man’s pretty eyes darted to the side and his arms wrapped around his delicate frame tightly. In his enthusiasm, he’d almost forgotten how easy it was to make Simon nervous. He wasn’t entirely sure what he’d said wrong, but supposed he might be coming on a little strong. Markus couldn’t help it. He had always been very expressive and never felt the need to hide his emotions. Sometimes he had to remind himself that not everyone was the same way as him and they might need a more reserved approach. 

“Well, I suppose it’s up to you, but I really don’t mind. I just figured if you were already there in the morning when I get up, you and I could work together to get everything set up for you before I have to go to work, is all.” Markus forced himself to use a more casual tone in hopes of being more convincing. “It would be a lot easier if I had your help,” he added for good measure.

Perhaps it was a bit manipulative to guilt Simon like that, but he knew the blonde had a desire to ‘earn his keep’ as he’d mentioned the very first time they met, and if he could exploit that in order to help him, he would. The sooner he could get him off the streets, the better. Thankfully, it seemed to work.

“Oh… I guess you’re right. I shouldn’t make you do all the work by yourself, especially when I’m the one that would benefit from it.” Simon still seemed a bit unsure at first, but finally nodded his head and gained a more determined expression. “Alright, I’ll go with you tonight.”

Markus smiled, even though he felt bad for getting him to agree the way he did. It was like he was somehow tricking the poor guy into a better living situation, but he felt like if he didn’t, Simon would never take the steps he needed to in order to improve his quality of life. Markus was sure Simon was completely capable of doing it all on his own, if it weren’t for the fact that he was so selfless that he forgot to take care of himself. All Markus wanted to do was be the one to take care of Simon so he could continue to help other’s without it being at his own expense.

“Ok, let’s go then,” Markus said with a small nod of his head.

“Hold on, I’ve got a small backpack full of belongings. Rose let’s me keep it locked up behind her desk in the back office so it doesn’t get stollen. I’ll only be a minute,” Simon replied, holding a finger up to signal that Markus should wait while he went to retrieve his things.

“I’ll wait for you in the reception lobby,” Markus called after him.

The blonde was already walking away but turned to walk backwards for a moment and vaguely gestured that he had heard before sprinting off. Markus watched him until he disappeared through one of the farthest doorways before finally allowing himself to get excited again. The goofy grin returned to his face as he chuckled and looked at the ground, shaking his head before glancing around to make sure no one was paying attention to just how stupidly pleased he was that Simon had actually agreed to live with him.

None of the shelter occupants seemed to pay him any mind as Markus turned to walk towards the building entrance where the receptionist took in the nightly applicants. She had seemed friendly to him when he’d first volunteered here, if a bit quirky. The ethereal look in Lucy’s eyes only added to the surreal feeling he got when she had greeted him for the first time. She had acted as if she already knew him, despite the fact that he’d never met her before in his life. 

As he walked into the front lobby to wait for Simon, Lucy looked up from her paperwork to smile at Markus warmly. “Take good care of him. He’ll need your strength, and you’ll need his when you work together to lead the lost ones out of the dark.”

Markus stopped in his tracks to stare at her in confusion, unsure of exactly what he was supposed to say to something like that. She simply smiled serenely at him as he made an awkward goldfish impression, opening and closing his mouth but making no sound. Eventually he just blurted out the first response that had a chance to fully form in his thoughts.

“How did you know he agreed?”

Markus hadn’t even remembered telling Lucy his intentions of asking Simon to come live with him in the first place. All he’d said to her when he came here tonight was that he was looking for Simon, he hadn’t mentioned why. And what on earth was she going on about with leading lost people out of the dark?

“You reached out for him. Now neither of you has to be alone. You will become his home, and he will become yours. No more fear of being lost.” Lucy’s words did not answer his question in the slightest, but they did have echoes of something Simon himself had said to Markus the night they first met.

_“When we reach out for each other, at least then we aren’t alone, and then being lost isn’t so scary.”_

“…How-“

“Alright, I’m ready.” Simon’s impeccably timed entrance cut Markus off as the blonde pushed the door open and strode over to the still dumbfounded male. “Is everything ok?” He must have picked up on Markus’ bewilderment because Simon’s voice took on a worried inflection as he came to stand next to him.

“…Yes… Yes, everything’s fine,” Markus finally said.

He did his best to shake off the eerie feeling Lucy had left him with and move on with the evening. Something told him inquiring further into her bizarre words would only leave him reeling from the headache it would cause. Markus tore his gaze from Lucy’s tranquil stare to look at Simon.

“You’ve got everything?” he asked.

“Mhmm. There’s not much, so you don’t have to worry about me taking over your apartment.” Simon smiled but there was a certain emptiness to it and Markus could tell he was trying to make light of moving in with him because he was still afraid.

“Alright, if you’re ready to go, my car’s parked across the street,” Markus said in a gentle voice, hoping Simon wasn’t thinking of changing his mind already.

The timid blonde nodded his head before throwing the backpack he had retrieved earlier over his shoulder and turning to say goodbye to the receptionist. “Looks like I won’t be staying tonight after all. I’m not sure how long it will be before I show up here asking for a bed again, but I promise I’ll come help out as often as I can. I’ll see you later, Lucy.”

Markus frowned as he watched Simon give her an admittedly awkward hug. Did Simon think that Markus’ offer was conditional? Did he not realize he was offering him a permanent home? Or was he aware that Markus was willing to let him stay forever, but he didn’t want to? The idea that Simon would be so uncomfortable staying with him that he’d rather return to being homeless and living on the streets made Markus’ heart ache.

Once Lucy and Simon had said their goodbyes, Markus forced a smile onto his face as the other male turned back to face him. “After you,” he said, gesturing towards the door that led outside.

They both left the shelter, stepping out into the cold night air and crossing the slush filled street to get to Markus’ car. Unlocking the doors with the press of a button, Markus opened the passenger side to let Simon in before rounding to the other side of the vehicle and sliding into the driver’s seat. As he started the car and adjusted his mirrors, Simon slipped his backpack between his legs and looked over at Markus.

“Lucy didn’t say anything weird, did she?” the blonde asked.

“Huh?” Markus turned to look behind him as he backed the car out onto the street. “No. I mean- Yeah, ok, she did say some really weird stuff, but I don’t think she said anything bad,” he admitted.

As Markus shifted out of reverse and into drive, he caught Simon’s gaze for a second and saw the other man’s lips twist into a nervous smile. “She has an unnatural ability of just _knowing_ things that are unexplainable. But she never tells anyone about those things in a way that makes any sense,” Simon explained.

Markus chuckled at this. It made him feel a bit better that Simon must have had similar experiences with Lucy. It wasn’t just him, then.

“She’s… certainly quite a character,” he laughed, and Simon nodded his head in agreement with a small giggle of his own.

“She is,” Simon said, “but she’s a wonderful human being, and I wouldn’t change her for the world.”

“Did you get a chance to say goodbye to Rose too?” Markus asked, keeping his eyes on the road as he conversed with the other male.

“Yes. She told me I could always come back if this new living arrangement doesn’t work out.”

Markus felt his heart drop again. “Well, I’m glad she cares about you so much, but…” He glanced over at the blonde in the seat next to him, trying not to look too hurt that Simon was already showing signs of regret. “Simon, I’m not going to throw you out or anything. I want to give you a place you can call home. Always. I know I still need to earn your trust, we’re still fairly new friends. But I want you to know that I’d never do anything to hurt you. I just want to give you a secure place to live where you can belong.”

Markus stole a few sideways glances at the other man as he spoke, trying to gauge his reaction. It was hard to read the expression on the blonde’s face. Perhaps Markus was coming on too strong again, but he had to tell Simon how he felt and that his intentions really were pure. He needed Simon to know that Markus cared about him and that he was safe.

The silence that dragged on for several minutes was almost unbearable for Markus, only made worse by the indecipherable expression Simon held as he stared out the glass windshield, still as a statue. It was getting to the point that Markus was glancing anxiously over at him more than he was paying attention to the road. Just as Markus was about to ask Simon if he was alright, the other man finally spoke.

“Maybe this was a mistake…” his voice was so soft that Markus almost missed it.

“Simon…”

Markus was unable to keep the pleading tone out of his voice as he slowed the car to a stop at an empty intersection. He looked over at Simon, giving him his full attention now as the engine idled.

“Why?” Markus turned his body slightly to face him more. “What did I say wrong? Simon, please, tell me why you think it’s a mistake?”

Finally, the blonde stopped staring out the front window, but it was only to duck his head and look down as he twisted his fingers in his lap apprehensively. “You didn’t say anything wrong. I just-“ Simon’s voice caught in his throat for a moment before he continued. “A lot of really bad things happened to me when I trusted people too blindly in the past. I don’t want to be hurt again,” he whispered.

It felt like someone had just stuck a needle in Markus’ heart, and although it was an uncomfortable feeling, it wasn’t an empty one. There was no anger or disappointment at Simon’s suspicions that Markus would hurt him. Instead it felt like his heart was filling with compassion and empathy for the beautiful man sitting next to him. It pained him so much to feel the fear and agony in Simon’s words, but it made him want to protect him and care for him even more than he had already wanted to before.

“Simon, it’s ok. I understand. I won’t force you to do this. If it’s not what you want, I can drive you back to the shelter. But please… At least consider giving me a chance.” Simon finally turned his head to look at Markus as he spoke tenderly to him. “One night. Just spend one night to see how it works out. And then, if you don’t like it, you can leave. But if you do, try a week and see how that works out. And if everything is still ok, try a month.

“You can leave at anytime and I won’t stop you,” Markus reassured. “But if you do decide to leave, know that the offer is still open and always will be. You’re always welcome in my home. Ok, Simon?”

Tears had started to fall from those crystal blue eyes as Simon stared at him. Markus could only hope that it was because something he’d said had resonated with him and not because Simon was upset at him. Thankfully, after the blonde wiped the tears away from his face with his sleeve, he gave a weak smile and nodded his head at Markus.

“Ok. I’ll try it that way,” he said, his voice soft and fragile like a flower.

A kind smile graced Markus’ face as he felt relief that Simon was willing to give him a chance. He knew it had to be a great risk for Simon after whatever undoubtedly horrible things he’d been through. The fact that the selfless blonde was willing to make himself vulnerable for Markus meant a great deal to him, and he would never think of taking advantage of that. Instead he hoped to give something of equal significance back to Simon.


	13. Feeling Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was way too fun to write.
> 
> Fun fact, Ben Lambert (Simon) is 6'2 while Jesse Williams (Markus) is only 6'1.
> 
> Also, if you are curious about the "idiosyncratic mouth movements" Simon has, (I think I mentioned them in an earlier chapter as well) I added a link to a gif that explains where I got that from. I've also noticed Simon do it in game as well if you pay close enough attention, though it's more subtle.

Simon wasn’t sure how Markus had such an uncanny ability to calm the fears and paranoia he had, but the man certainly was convincing. Even if his words had made Simon shed a few tears. The past few days, crying had become a habit that Simon was not enjoying very much, but the things Markus had said were so reassuring and validating. How could it not elicit an emotional response? He wasn’t sure he’d ever had someone empathize with him on such a level.

Sure, he had friends that cared about him and wanted to help, but what Markus had said showed that he was really trying to understand how Simon felt about all of this and take it into consideration. Markus had addressed his fears before Simon had even voiced them. He knew Simon had trust issues and he also knew he would need time to ease into this new arrangement, so was giving him a way out if he needed it while still allowing for a way back in if he were to become indecisive. It was incredibly patient and compassionate of Markus to handle Simon in such a way.

Perhaps the thing that had brought him to tears most was the way Markus emphasized wanting to give Simon a home where he could truly belong. That deeply touching sentiment, coupled with the word ‘always’, had caught Simon off guard by making him realize just how much he really wanted that, despite constantly telling himself that he was fine living in the uncertain and hopeless manner that he had been for all these years on the streets. He only wished it hadn’t made him cry in front of Markus, because even though Simon was fine now, he still felt a bit stupid as they drove the rest of the way to the apartment building.

Luckily, it wasn’t that much further. Poor Markus didn’t seem to like the silence that followed their conversation and turned the radio on after a few moments. Simon felt bad, he’d noticed that Markus found the quiet uncomfortable, but it was something he would have to get used to if Simon was going to be his new roommate. The tranquil, pensive moments where Simon could just think without saying anything had become invaluable to him over the years. So, Markus would have to get used to him not always chattering if he wanted Simon to stay.

As they pulled into the car lot behind the apartment building, Simon glanced at Markus with a bit of a guilty conscience. Maybe he should at least try to make it a little less uncomfortable for him and make an attempt at conversation. After all, if Markus had to get used to Simon being quiet, he supposed he would have to get used to Markus needing verbal stimulation sometimes. He couldn’t very well let the effort of this arrangement go one sided.

“Do you mind me asking you something a bit personal?” Simon wasn’t good with shallow small talk, so hopefully Markus wasn’t opposed to more in-depth conversations that weren’t always easy to swallow.

He was glad to see Markus throw him a sideways glance with a single eyebrow raised in amusement. “Ask away.”

“Even after all the work was done and you could have left, you chose to spend Christmas Eve at the shelter instead of with family. Why?” Simon kept his eyes fixed on the handsome male as Markus pulled into a parking space and shut the car off.

“Well, CPS took me away from my mom when I was just a kid and my dad was never in the picture.” Despite the casual tone of Markus voice, Simon immediately felt that he’d overstepped.

“I’m sorry,” he said awkwardly, wanting to add more to the apology but failing to find adequate words. 

“Don’t be. Foster care is a shit-show at best, but I was one of the lucky ones and made it to adulthood alright. Had a couple rough patches in juvey during my angry teen years for stupid stuff like tagging public property and getting caught doing it too many times. But I was bright enough to correct myself and even got my record expunged,” Markus explained. “I had a decent foster family the last two years of high school too, and that helped give me a stable home long enough to get a minimum wage job so I wouldn’t be without options when I turned eighteen.”

Simon still marveled at how calm and nonchalant Markus was while describing such a rough childhood. It surprised him that such a kind soul had been a bit of a bad boy type as a teen. He was glad Markus had turned out alright after going through so much though. If circumstances hadn’t been kinder to the other man, he could very well have ended up on the streets just like Simon, or worse.

“So, I guess to answer your question; I didn’t spend Christmas Eve with family because I don’t really have any,” Markus summarized with a shrug of his shoulders.

There was a short pause in the conversation as the two of them unbuckled and got out of the car. Simon swung his backpack over his shoulder before following Markus toward a gate that separated the tenant parking from the apartment building. A lot of thoughts went through Simon’s head during the break in their discussion but none of them seemed right to voice. Luckily, Markus was far better at talking than Simon was and unlocked the gate with a small, mischievous smirk playing on his lips. 

“So, since you got to ask me a personal question, does that mean I’m allowed to ask you one in return?” he asked Simon playfully.

Pale blue eyes narrowed at Markus, but were accompanied by a humored smile as Simon passed through the gate the other male was holding open for him. “I never made you promise to answer,” he bantered.

Markus feigned offense with mock surprise. “Ah! No fair,” he said, clicking his tongue. “I didn’t know those were the rules. I thought I had to answer if I agreed to you asking the question.”

Simon’s smile grew wider as he shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I suppose the only chance you have of getting an answer from me is to ask your question and hope for the best.”

“I guess you’re right.” Markus unlocked the entrance to the building when they reached it and his tone became slightly more serious as they crossed the foyer into the elevator. “My question is essentially the same as yours. Don’t you have any family?”

The smile Simon had been wearing didn’t vanish completely, but it certainly lessened as the humor behind it faded. Despite the fact that he didn’t like to talk about his past, he supposed it wasn’t as dangerous to discuss events that far back. Still, it was painful to remember. But Markus had opened up about his unfortunate childhood, and even though Simon had joked he may not return the gesture, in the end he felt it was only fair.

“Yes, actually. I do. But my mother and father disowned me when I was fourteen and I haven’t seen them since. They kicked me out of the house and that’s why I’ve been homeless all this time.” Simon purposefully left out the detail of why he was banished from their home, afraid that telling Markus might earn the same reaction from him that it had from his mother and father.

“You were only fourteen?” Markus asked softly, sympathy displayed in those expressive features of his.

“I managed to survive.”

Simon continued to hold his smile, hollow as it may be, in an attempt to copy the nonchalant attitude Markus had displayed when speaking of his own past. The elevator doors opened as they reached the top floor where Markus’ apartment was and they both stepped out into the hallway. There was another beat of silence in their conversation as they crossed the floor to Markus’ door and he dug through his pocket for the right key. Once he found it and inserted it into the lock, he turned to face Simon and asked exactly what the blonde didn’t want to tell him.

“Why did your parent’s kick you out?”

Simon masked his anxiety by letting the playful smile return to his lips as Markus opened the door to his apartment. “I’m afraid you only get one personal question tonight, and I already answered it.”

Despite how easy it was to read the disappointment on Markus’ face, he was glad that the other male decided to play along. “Alright, fine. I suppose that’s fair. You’ve got better things to focus on anyways,” Markus said, a good-natured grin replacing the initial dissatisfaction in his expression.

“Oh?” Simon raised a curious eyebrow.

“I don’t mean to brag, but I’m a pretty damn good cook - if I do say so myself - and you’re about to get an actual home cooked meal.” Markus shut the door behind him after they entered his apartment before shrugging his coat off his shoulders. “Not to discredit Rose’s cooking, but you can only do so much with shelter food.”

As Simon set his backpack against the wall nearby, he had to admit to himself that Markus was right. Ingredients donated to the shelter from the food bank tended to be odds and ends that didn’t always go well in a recipe together and they were rarely fresh. Rose was wonderful at making the food palatable despite this, and Simon was extremely grateful to have a warm meal even when it didn’t turn out so great. But, in the end, he’d honestly forgotten what a good homemade meal tasted like.

“What do you plan to make? Maybe I can help,” Simon said, removing his own coat and letting Markus take it.

“It’s a surprise and you don’t get to lift a finger tonight.” Even though Markus was still smiling, he inclined his head towards Simon with a willful glare as if to suggest he had better not dare argue.

Opting to argue anyways, if a bit indirectly, Simon frowned and folded his arms under his chest. “What am I supposed to do while you cook then?”

“Settle in, I guess. How does a hot shower sound?”

There he went again, foiling Simon’s attempts at obstinate consideration by being considerate himself. First with the financial debate, now this. Damn he was good.

“Ok, I’ll admit that does sound really nice,” Simon confessed, unfolding his arms but rolling his eyes at the triumphant look on Markus’ face.

“Does that backpack of yours have a clean change of clothes, or do you need to borrow some of mine?”

“I’ve got clothes but-” Simon glanced down at his backpack with a frown, “they could stand to be washed before I wear them again.”

He only owned so many articles of clothing and affording a laundromat visit was a privilege that didn’t happen as often as he would like it too. Sometimes he would have to alternate between the same three outfits he owned for a week or more before being able to wash them properly. It was disgusting and he hated it, but such was the life of a homeless person. He just did what he could to stay clean by using small tips and tricks he’d picked up over the years, like hand-washing clothing with bar soap when he got the chance and using the shelter’s showers every day, even when he had to wear dirty clothes when he was done.

“No problem. We’re close to the same size. You might be a bit smaller than me, but that just means you’ll be more comfortable sleeping in a pair of my sweatpants.” Markus sounded sure of himself as he turned to walk further into the apartment, but Simon raised an eyebrow at his assumption.

“Actually, I think I’m taller than you, Markus,” he said frankly, causing the other male to stop and turn for a double take.

“What?”

Simon watched Markus look him up and down and he tried not to squirm at the suddenly acute attention the man was paying him. It was hard not to blush as his heterochromatic eyes wandered Simon’s full body length several times before resting on his own blue hues.

“No way,” Markus said flatly in disbelief. “How tall are you?”

“I don’t know, it’s not like I get the chance to measure very often,” Simon said with a slight pout.

“Hold on.”

Markus walked further into the living room, which was still littered with art supplies, and snatched up a couple colored pencils, one red and one blue. He then proceeded to stand stalk straight with his back against the wall close to Simon and lifted the red pencil above his head to make a mark on the wall behind him. Once he was done, he stepped away and switched the red pencil in his dominant hand out for the blue one before gesturing to the wall where he’d just stood.

“Stand up as tall as you can without going on your tip-toes,” he ordered.

Simon looked at the wall, then Markus, blinked twice, then did as he was told. As he stood with his back pressed against the wall, the other male stepped toward him and lifted the blue pencil to the top of the blonde’s head. Simon felt his heart rate increase as Markus leaned close enough that he could feel the other man’s breath warm against his lips. Despite the fact that Simon’s eyes were locked on the green and blue hues, Markus’ eyes stared intently at the wall above him as he marked it with a blue line. Even when they both stepped away to compare the results, Simon’s heart was still fluttering a bit.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Markus almost sounded upset.

“Sorry.” Simon wasn’t sure why he was apologizing for something so out of his own control as how tall he happened to be in comparison to the other male, but he found himself doing it anyways.

“You’ve got to be a full inch taller than me.”

“An inch isn’t really that much,” Simon tried to reassure.

“Well, no, but still. I was so sure you were smaller than me.” Markus finally turned away from the marks on the wall to look at Simon. “You look so delicate and unassuming, I guess through association I just had it in my head that you were shorter than me.”

A defensive frown tugged the corners of Simon’s mouth down and he found himself folding his arms over his chest again. “Delicate and unassuming? What, you think just because I’m scrawny I couldn’t kick your ass? If living on the streets has taught me anything, it’s how to protect myself.”

Simon’s defensive irritation only increased when an amused smirk crept onto Markus’ face as he listened to the blonde go off. “ _Delicate and unassuming._ I’ll have you know that I’m perfectly capable of beating the ever-living shit out of you if you give me a reason to.” A snort of laughter came from Markus and he lifted a hand to his mouth to try and stifle a giggle, only provoking Simon more. “Stop laughing! One inch on you is all I need to seriously fuck you up.”

At this point Markus couldn’t contain himself anymore and actually doubled over, cackling so hard that the neighbors could probably hear. Realizing that the more he tried to intimidate the other male, the more hilarious Markus found him, Simon finally shut his mouth in favor of glaring daggers at him. Eventually his laughter died down a bit and a few more soft chuckles came out of Markus before he was able to gain control again and spoke.

“I’m sorry, Simon. You’re just so soft and cute, hearing you curse and smack talk like that is funny as hell. Are you even legally allowed to say the word fuck?”

Simon took a deep breath, placing his hands on his hips and opening his mouth as he prepared to go off on him again before the word ‘cute’ registered and his voice caught in his throat with a crackling noise. His body froze solid and for a moment the only movement he made was his [mouth](https://i.imgur.com/h0kq95E.gifv) twisting in that same, idiosyncratic, subconscious way it did when he was focusing so hard on something that he spaced out. Markus raised an eyebrow at him, still looking highly entertained as a slow blush started to creep into Simon’s cheeks.

“Did you break, Si?” the grinning man teased.

Simon didn’t say anything, just snapped his mouth shut before wrapping his arms around himself and looking away with a grumpy face that was hot with what he hoped Markus would mistake for anger.

“Wow, I must have really pissed you off. You aren’t actually mad at me, are you?” The playful tone in Markus’ voice was laced with genuine concern now as he took a step closer to Simon.

Pale fingers absently rubbed against the fabric of his shirt as Simon ducked his head down, unable to make eye contact with Markus. “No, you’re fine. I’m sorry for exploding on you like that.”

Markus took on a gentler demeanor, smiling kindly but still plainly worried. As he took another step closer to Simon, he ducked his head down as well in an attempt to look the blonde in the eye. Simon also noticed his hand twitch upward as if to move towards his shoulder, but the movement was halted before it could be completed, and his arm hesitantly lowered back down. Nevertheless, his voice was soft and warm as he addressed Simon.

“No need to say sorry, it’s ok. You didn’t upset me at all. Why don’t we see if we can find you some clothes so you can hop in the shower while I start on dinner?” he suggested.

Why was he so perfect? Even when Simon had lost his temper at him, he still found Markus entirely charming and couldn’t help but be endeared to him. Simon wasn’t sure if he wanted to kick his ass or kiss him right now. In the end he didn’t have the guts to do either so just nodded his head.

“Yeah, sounds good,” he mumbled.

Markus hummed out a single note in satisfaction of his answer before leading the blonde down the hall towards his bedroom. How was Simon going to live in the same apartment with this infuriatingly attractive man? He hadn’t even spent the night yet and he’d already gone through a checklist of powerful emotions including, but not limited to; wanting to hug him, wanting to run from him, wanting to strangle him, and wanting to jump his bones. Either Markus had some supernatural ability to make men weak or Simon was a bigger gay disaster than he thought. 


	14. The Right Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help myself with the ending of this chapter. I don't know if I should say I'm sorry or you're welcome about it. So you get both.
> 
> I'm sorry.  
> You're welcome.
> 
> Sweet dreams, Simon.

As Markus led him into the master bedroom of the apartment, Simon absently played with the fabric of his own shirt, rubbing the material between his fingers while taking in the layout of the other male’s space. The first thing he noticed was that it was a lot tidier than the living room. No art supplies were littering the floor or other surface areas.

The spacious room was minimalist as far as furnishings went. There was a cedar chest under the window across from the door and a dresser against the wall next to it. On the left, there was a walk-in closet and a door that appeared to lead into a bathroom. Then on the right, a queen-sized bed was centered against one wall with a large canvas hanging above it. The monochromatic painting depicted an abstract face in rich blues.

Simon had no idea who had painted it, but he could already tell that this portrait wasn’t Markus’ own work. There was no denying similarities between it and his paintings, and perhaps the handsome male’s style had been heavily influenced by whoever painted this, but the essence of it seemed different than what Simon had seen in Markus’ art. He wasn’t sure how, but he just knew it wasn’t one of his creations.

“Admiring the abyss?” Markus’ voice drew Simon’s focus away from the painting.

“The abyss?” he asked, watching Markus cross the room towards the dresser.

“It’s the name of the painting,” Markus replied, pulling a drawer open and rummaging through it. “It was given to me as a gift from Carl Manfred, the artist who made it. He happens to be the friend of mine I was telling you about on Christmas Eve.”

“The one who gave you the advice to help out at the shelter?”

“That’s the one.” Markus pulled out a pair of grey sweatpants before closing the drawer and walking over to the closet. “That particular painting is a reminder of another treasured bit of advice he’s given me in the past,” he explained, pulling the sliding doors apart and walking inside the closet to browse the shirts hanging inside.

Simon assumed it was safe to inquire further into the discussion, since Markus had been the one to bring it up. “What advice does it symbolize?” he asked, letting his eyes wander back to those of the painting staring back into his soul.

Markus plucked a navy colored tee off of its hanger before walking over to Simon and holding it up to the blonde to check the size. The motion pulled Simon out of the trance the cobalt portrait was putting him under, and his attention returned to Markus. Once the other male was satisfied it would fit, he lowered the shirt to meet Simon’s gaze.

“Face the abyss-” There was a slight pause and Simon couldn’t help but think that Markus’ eyes were just as mesmerizing as the painting’s. “-But don’t let it consume you.”

“He who fights with monsters should be careful, lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee.” Simon quoted, earning a surprised look from the other man.

A slow smile graced Markus’ lips before he accredited the quote to the author. “Friedrich Nietzsche.”

“Correct,” Simon nodded.

“I’m impressed. Most people don’t know his work well enough to get the full quote right. Usually it’s only paraphrased.” Markus continued to grin as he folded the outfit in his arms and held it out for the blonde to take.

“I like to read, and spending a lot of time at the local library is a better alternative than standing around in the snow outside, doing nothing during the day while I wait for the shelter to open back up.” Simon shrugged a single shoulder and cocked his head to the same side with a small smile of his own as he took the clothes from Markus.

“Well, if you choose to stay, you won’t have to worry about that anymore.” It was a gentle reminder, and Simon wasn’t at all put off by it as Markus moved towards the door leading to the bedroom’s attached bathroom. “You can use the shower in here this time since the restroom at the end of the hallway isn’t stocked with soap or shampoo yet. I’ll start on dinner, but don’t worry about taking your time, it will be a while before it’s ready. Give me a shout if you need anything,” Markus said, opening the door for him.

Simon nodded politely before entering the white tiled room and setting the clothing he was going to borrow from Markus down on the sink counter. He turned his head to face Markus again, but the other man was already slipping out of sight behind the doorframe. Simon hesitated for a couple seconds before poking his head around the corner to watch Markus leave the bedroom, pulling the door closed behind him.

A small sigh escaped the blonde’s lips before he retreated back into the restroom fully and started undressing. Not long after, he was enjoying the scalding hot water that let off enough steam to fog up the mirror outside the curtain and fill the room with a thick haze. The shelter’s water heater didn’t work anywhere near well enough to create the soothing sauna effect this shower had and Simon didn’t care if he melted down the drain with this much heat. At least he would die happy if he did.

He must have been in there a solid half hour, just enjoying the sensation of the water before he heard a knock on the door that made him jump slightly. Markus didn’t wait for a reply before his voice could be heard calling through the door. Simon pulled the curtain back slightly to poke his head out so he could hear a bit better.

“I was halfway through the meal prep before I realized- I forgot to ask if you have any food allergies.”

Simon smiled and called back “No, you’re good, I don’t have any” with a chuckle.

“Thank goodness, I was afraid I was going to have to start over and make something else! Alright, keep enjoying your shower,” Markus shouted before it fell silent again.

Despite the fact that Markus had said he should take his time, Simon decided he’d probably wasted enough hot water and actually started to wash himself instead of just standing under the spray. He found that he really liked the scent of Markus’ bodywash and took note of the brand before finishing up and shutting off the water. Soon enough he was dried off and dressed in Markus’ clothing.

Despite the fact that he’d proven himself to be taller than Markus, Simon still discovered that his clothes fit a little loose on him for the simple fact that he was so thin compared to the other man. The shirt hung off him in such a way as to show off his collar bones and the sweatpants kept slipping down low, just barely managing to cling onto him enough to keep from sliding off completely. He frowned into the still foggy mirror as he ran his fingers through his hair in a failed attempt to comb it down some.

“You’re going to have to gain some muscle like Markus if you want to fit into his clothes properly, Simon,” he muttered to his blurry reflection before giving up on the damp blonde strands and picking up his dirty clothes to carry them under his arm as he left the bathroom.

As he crossed the bedroom to join Markus in the kitchen, he paused at the door, hearing voices conversing on the other side in the distance. Frowning and pressing his ear against the door to eavesdrop, he noticed that one voice was slightly staticky, as if coming from a device. Markus must be on a call and using the speakerphone feature.

“No, I’m not busy, Markus. What did you call to talk about?” a gravely voice asked, distorted by the speaker.

“He said yes!” Markus’ voice sounded bubbly with excitement.

“You mean your homeless friend from the shelter?”

“Yeah, Simon! I mean- I was worried he’d be nervous, and he definitely was. We discussed it for a while before I was able to convince him to give it a shot, but I managed to talk him into a sort of trial run to see if he wants to live with me permanently. He’s spending the night!”

“That’s wonderful! I’m sure he’ll settle right in at home with you in no time,” the gravely voice said warmly. “You’ve always been wonderful at taking care of me, I expect you’ll be no less courteous with your new roommate.”

“I’m actually cooking dinner for him now. I really hope he decides to stay and move in officially. I might be jumping the gun a bit, but I plan to use some of my savings to get him a bed and a dresser.” There were a few clanking noises of pots and pans as Markus babbled over the sounds of something simmering on the stove. “Maybe I can sell the desk once I clear out the office and use that money to get him a new wardrobe too. I don’t think he has many clothes and the one’s he was wearing earlier looked a bit worn out.”

“You better make sure he’s ok with it first, Markus,” the other voice warned.

“I know. I don’t want him to think I’m treating him like a charity case. That’s not at all what I’m doing. I just really want him to be happy here. He’s already had such an amazing impact on me in the short while I’ve known him. I want to pay him back and this seemed like the best way.”

When Simon heard this, he felt a warm tingly sensation spread throughout his entire body. Markus really thought so highly of him that he was trying to pay him back? For what? Simon hadn’t even done anything.

“Well, I’m sure it won’t take you long to charm him into staying. Just let me know when he does decide to move in permanently. Leo will owe me twenty bucks when he does.” The man on the other end of the call sounded amused when he said this.

“What?” Markus’ puzzled inquiry caused a hearty chuckle to sound over the speaker in response.

“When I told him what you had planned, Leo bet me twenty dollars you couldn’t convince your new friend to move in with you. I know you said he hasn’t officially decided to stay for good yet. But knowing you, I’m confident it’s only a matter of time before that twenty bucks is as good as mine.”

“Carl…” Markus said the name in mild reprimand, but Simon found himself smirking as he listened in on the conversation from the bedroom with one of his hands and a cheek pressed against the door. “While I don’t think it’s appropriate to be placing bets on Simon’s choice, I do hope you are right. I really want him to stay.”

Simon leaned away from the door, having heard enough to make up his mind. The conversation between him and this Carl person had proven that Markus was genuine in his desire to have Simon live here. He no longer had doubts about the other man’s intentions. There was no way Markus could have known Simon was listening in, so he really had no reason to say no anymore. This was it. Unless some unforeseen disaster caused things to go horribly wrong, he was going to live here now.

Readjusting the dirty clothes in his grip, Simon opened the door and walked down the hallway towards the kitchen where Markus was still conversing with his friend over the phone. He cleared his throat to catch Markus’ attention, as the other man had his back turned away from the entryway so he could tend to the stove. When Markus peeked over his shoulder at him, Simon caught glimpse of a brilliant smile on his attractive features before he quickly turned away again to look down at his phone, which was sitting on the counter nearby.

“Hold on a second, Carl.” Markus switched the heat off on the stove before removing a pan from the burner, then turned around to face Simon. “Just in time, dinner’s almost ready.”

“It smells delicious,” Simon replied before gesturing to the clothes he was holding in a bundle under his arm. “Do you have a hamper where I can put these for washing later?”

“Yeah, there’s a basket in my closet. If you don’t mind washing them with mine, we can do a load tomorrow morning. But before you do that, there’s someone I want you to meet.” Markus picked his phone up from the countertop and walked over to Simon. “This is Carl, the friend I was telling you about before,” he said, pointing at the cellphone.

Before Simon could say anything, the man on the other end of the call addressed him. “Am I to understand I am now speaking with the handsome young man Markus painted in my studio yesterday?” Carl asked.

“He did a painting of me?” Simon asked, glancing at Markus, who gave him a sheepish smile.

“That is what us artists tend to do with our muses,” Carl’s gravelly voice hummed out playfully.

“I’d like to practice more. I think if you sat still for me, I could capture your features more accurately,” Markus said, looking at Simon.

The blonde glanced down bashfully, pretending to focus on pulling the loose sweatpants he was wearing back up on his hips. “I guess I can do that. It was part of our deal, after all.”

Markus beamed at him, making Simon’s heart skip a beat as he turned his attention back to the phone when Carl spoke again. “So, Markus tells me you still aren’t sure about moving in with him,” the old man said. “I can certainly understand your trepidation, but let me be the first to advocate for the boy and tell you that he has a heart of gold and is excellent at keeping a house running smoothly and caring for it’s occupants. I should know, he does it for me all the time. You don’t have to worry about him being a bad roommate, he is-“

Simon cut him off before he could continue. “No need to go on. I’m already sold. I’ll give you twenty dollars for him.”

There was a beat of silence and Simon watched with great amusement as the color drained from Markus at the realization that the blonde had heard about the bets placed. Then the phone’s speaker crackled with the strain of the volume as Carl howled with laughter on the other end of the call. Simon’s lips twisted into a sly smile as Markus ran a hand down his own face before peeking through his fingers at him.

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled into his own palm, barely audible over Carl’s hysterics.

“Don’t be,” Simon shrugged, “your embarrassment makes fine payback for _‘delicate and unassuming’_.” That earned a smirk from Markus, despite the fact that he was now the one blushing.

Through his own snickering fit, Carl was able to get the words out “What’s this about payback?”

Markus sighed before dropping his hand from his face and turning around to gather plates and silverware from the cupboards. Simon proceeded to abandon his dirty clothes on the floor in the entryway before explaining to Carl what he was referencing while Markus dished up plates for their dinner. The three of them ended up keeping the call going throughout the entirety of the meal and even a few minutes after they had finished eating and cleaned up. Carl proved to be quite an interesting character and Simon found that he quite liked him and was looking forward to meeting him in person. He said as much as they finally said their goodbye’s and hung up the phone call around 9pm.

Both men chuckled softly as Markus tucked the cellphone into his pocket before looking at Simon. Baby blues met with heterochromatic hues and the two let their eyes rest on each other quietly for a few moments before Markus broke the silence.

“So, when you said you were sold,” he gave another small titter before continuing, “does that mean you decided to…”

“Yes. I trust you Markus. I want to stay here.” Simon said with a firm nod of his head.

“I’m so glad you said that.”

A soft sigh slipped out of Markus’ mouth as his shoulder’s relaxed and he eased back into his chair. Simon smiled warmly at the other man, admiring the way his chest moved as he drew in a relieved lungful of air and his full lips curled into a soft smile of his own. He could sit and drink in the sight of Markus’ beauty all night if it weren’t for him slowly leaning forward and clapping his hands on his knees before standing up.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I suppose it is late.” Simon stood as well, walking across the kitchen to pick up his clothes from the floor where he’d left them so he could put them in the basket Markus had told him about for dirty laundry. “If you’ll let me in your room long enough to drop these off in your closet, I’ll take the couch.”

“What? No, Simon.” Markus shook his head. “I told you, you can have my bed tonight.”

“But I-“

“No, Simon,” Markus said firmly, pointing down the hallway to his room. “You. Bed. Now.”

Simon stared at him stupidly, feeling like a child getting sent to their room by a parent. “Mar-“

“Nope.” The other male cut him off again.

“Bu-“

“Simon.”

“…Fine,” the blonde mumbled grumpily, realizing this was a losing battle.

He shuffled down the hallway with his clothes resting between the crook of his elbow and his side, stopping at the door to pull Markus’ borrowed sweatpants back up before they slipped off his hips again. As he turned the doorknob to enter, he glanced back down the hallway to see Markus watching him with a satisfied grin on his face. Simon just pouted back at him before entering the bedroom and shutting the door behind him.

Crossing to the closet, Simon dropped the wad of dirty laundry into the basket, then turned to look at the bed. It looked incredibly soft and warm. He hoped Markus wouldn’t be too uncomfortable out on the sofa in the living room. Simon pulled the sheets back before climbing in and tucking them back up around his chin, easing back into the pillows and letting out a soft moan as he felt his back relax in a way he didn’t know it was even capable of doing anymore.

“Holy shit, this is the best thing ever,” he whispered, reaching over to the light switch on the wall next to him and flipping it off. “Markus, you lucky bastard. You sleep like this every night?”

It was so amazingly comfortable, nothing like the thin mattresses at the shelter with springs poking through them and stabbing him in the side while he slept. Simon nestled himself into the covers and drew in a deep breath. The scent of the bodywash he’d used earlier flooded his senses, but it was coupled with something else too. Something he couldn’t quite place, until he realized that it must be Markus’ natural scent. It mixed well with the bodywash and whatever fabric softener he used when washing the sheets.

Drawing in another breath, Simon took in the pleasant smell with closed eyes. Blood rushed to his cheeks as he realized how weird he was being, but he just kept pulling the blankets close around him and pressing his face into them. This was what Markus smelled like. It was really nice. It made him feel…

Simon’s eyes shot open as he felt blood rushing somewhere else entirely. _“Oh God, no. Simon, no. This is fucked up. Stop.”_ His heart thumped in his chest as his skin tingled and he suddenly felt very hot. Then the involuntary thought of “ _It would be even more fucked up if you masturbated in his bed”_ hit and he was suddenly flinging the covers off of himself and away from where he could continue breathing in that intoxicating scent.

Pale fingers dug into his hair as he bit his lip and sat bolt upright. _“Brain, **what the fuck?**_ **”** he screamed internally. _“No. No, you are not doing this, Simon. Just lay down and go to sleep, you fucking pervert.”_ Simon threw himself back down in a laying position (hard enough that he bounced a few times) and pulled the covers back up, but kept them below his neck while narrowing his eyes at them. _“Don’t tempt me with your lustful scent, foul demon,”_ he thought as he glared daggers at the soft blankets. _“You really are pathetically hopeless, Simon.”_ He squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself to make it through the night without doing something unbearably stupid.


	15. A New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S U C C U L E N T

Sleep had come swiftly when Simon had finally calmed down, and it had been the most restful night he’d had in years. For the first time since he could remember, he woke up with no aches or pains and he actually slept through the entire night without tossing and turning. The idea of waking up refreshed had seemed farfetched to him before, but when Markus knocked on the door around 10am (bless him for letting Simon sleep in), Simon’s eyes had fluttered open and an instant smile graced his lips as he told Markus he could enter.

He’d sat up, stretching his arms above his head as Markus opened the door and surprised him with a tray of eggs, bacon, and fresh fruit. Simon had never had breakfast in bed in his entire life, but Markus seemed intent on spoiling him now that he’d decided to stay here. While he ate, Markus had sat on the foot of the bed and the two of them discussed the plan for getting the office converted into a space just for Simon.

Once breakfast was over, they got to work. Markus had apparently snuck in earlier that morning to start a load of laundry so Simon could wear his own clothes while they disassembled the computer desk and started moving it out in parts. They took all the pieces out of the apartment and left them in the building hallway for a bit while they moved a file cabinet, a printer, Markus’ laptop, and a few other odds and ends into the living room, rearranging some of the furniture and cleaning the art supplies up to make room for them. It was a lot of work, but they managed to get the office completely cleaned out so it was just an empty room by 3pm.

After a late lunch, Simon helped Markus move the desk parts from the apartment building to his car. By that time, Markus had to go to work, as he was scheduled with one of his clients. He reassured Simon he would be back around 8pm, after he’d finished his shift and dropped the desk off at a storage unit until he could sell it. Until then, he gave Simon a spare key to his apartment and let him back in the building before saying goodbye.

Simon watched from the foyer as Markus disappeared before looking down at the key in his hand. It was pretty plain, just a standard silver key hooked to a keyring and a carabiner so he could attach it to his belt or backpack if he wanted. Despite the small size of the object and how seemingly insignificant it was, a wave of realization hit him as he looked down at the key and wrapped his fingers around it reverently.

He had a home now.

The overwhelming feelings that came with this realization had Simon drawing in a sharp breath and clutching the key to his chest as an unstoppable smile spread across his face. Before he knew it, he was chuckling softly at himself and twirling the key ring around his finger as he turned to head back to the elevator. At first, he planned to press the button for the top floor so he could return to Markus’… no… Markus’ _and his_ apartment. But then he remembered his friends living on level E and decided to pay them a visit. He was sure the Jerry’s and Ralph would want to know that he’d moved in a few floors above them.

Simon’s finger pressed the E button on the elevator and soon he was stepping out onto the fifth floor, walking towards the door marked E400 with purpose. A few soft taps sounded as he knocked on the door and waited. Hopefully they were home and wouldn’t mind him stopping by. 

The door clicked open and a pair of green eyes settled on the blonde before squinting into a bright grin. “Simon! We weren’t expecting you to visit so soon, come inside!” Jerry didn’t even wait for an explanation before inviting him in.

Simon returned the smile before stepping inside and hearing some scuffling noises from down the hall in another room. “Did you say Simon is here?” one of the other Jerry’s called from one of the bedrooms.

“Simon!” A much louder exclamation, followed by more clambering noises, told Simon that Ralph was aware he was here now as well.

Simon stepped further into the apartment, leaning his head around the corner to look down the hallway and see one of the doors burst open as Ralph came tripping out of it in a hurry, followed by an almost equally enthusiastic Jerry. The two of them stumbled over each other ungracefully to try and be the first to reach him, both giggling and pulling each other up when they tripped on the other’s feet. Simon had a hunch he knew what was coming, so tried to mentally prepare himself and brace for impact as Ralph’s socks made him skid to a stop on the hardwood floor in front of Simon.

Sure enough, the other blonde tackled him in a zealous hug, rubbing his good cheek against Simon’s chest affectionately. A nervous chuckle came from Simon as he patted Ralph’s head with tense shoulders. The Jerry who had come down the hall with him hugged Ralph from behind, gently pulling him away from Simon so he could breathe again.

“Hi, Ralph,” Simon said, glad to have his personal space back but not upset at the other male.

The Jerry’s knew Simon well enough to know physical contact could often make him uneasy, but Ralph had no idea. Besides, even if he did, Simon had a feeling it would be hard for him to remember and stay mindful about it. He’d never hold it against Ralph, but he was certainly grateful that Jerry had stepped in to relieve Simon.

“Did Simon come to visit Ralph and his new family?” Ralph asked with a toothy grin, leaning back into Jerry’s embrace.

“Yeah, we weren’t expecting to see you so soon,” the Jerry who had let Simon in said, moving to lean against the back of the couch casually.

Simon crossed an arm over his chest to rub one of his shoulders and looked around in search of the third Jerry before speaking. “Actually, I have some news I thought you all might want to hear. Is your third brother around?”

“Nurse Jerry is at work,” Ralph said. “It’s just Captain Jerry, Cupcake Jerry, and Ralph at home right now.”

Simon couldn’t help but laugh in surprise at the titles he’d given the Jerry’s to tell them apart, particularly ‘cupcake’ Jerry. “Well, I suppose you will all have to tell him later then,” he said.

“Tell him what?” one of the redheads asked.

“Well, I, uh...” Simon couldn’t help but grin stupidly as he looked down at his feet. “I was offered a place to live by a friend who happens to live in the building. I’m moving in with him on the top floor today. So, I guess that sort of makes us neighbors in a way?”

Both brothers began talking over the top of each other excitedly while Ralph jumped up and down and clapped his hands, wiggling happily in place as Jeremy and Jerick congratulated him and started bombarding him with questions. Simon just laughed and did his best to answer as many as he could. Though, it was difficult to hear them all as they drowned each other out and didn’t wait for the other to finish before asking more.

“I didn’t plan it, my friend only sprung the question on me last night, asking if I wanted to move in. His name is Markus. I actually only met him a little while ago, but he’s a good person. I trust him. I’ll be living in apartment G800 with him, and yes, I’m sure he’d love to meet you all at some point, but right now he’s at work,” Simon explained, doing his best to catch all their questions.

“It’s wonderful you will have a bed of your own to sleep in. Will you still help out around the shelter now that you don’t need to stay there anymore?” The Jerry’s seemed to have calmed down enough to take turns with questions now.

“Yes, I plan to continue volunteering there often. I’ll just need some time to get settled first before I can help out regularly.” Simon nodded before adding thoughtfully, “I don’t actually even have a bed yet.”

“Oh, my. Maybe you could check some online listings to see if anyone is selling one second hand at a discount,” one of them suggested.

“Maybe. I don’t even have the money for that though. Markus tells me he will cover all the expenses of me living with him, but I don’t like making him do that. I want to find a job.” Simon frowned before taking a seat on a nearby chair. “It’s just very difficult when most employers are looking for someone with at least a high school diploma or equivalent. I don’t even have a GED.”

Ralph and one of the Jerry’s climbed onto the couch and knelt backwards on it to face Simon while the Jerry already leaning against it spoke. “Maybe you could do something under the table,” he suggested.

“Like what? Shoveling snow off of driveways, or mowing lawns in the summer?” Simon asked, already dreading the idea of what that would do to his back.

“Well, there is that, but I was actually thinking of babysitting,” Jerry said.

Simon raised an eyebrow at him. He didn’t have any problem with kids, in fact, he quite liked them. But most people weren’t too keen on male babysitters, especially one’s that had been homeless less than 24 hours ago. Not to mention the profession he’d held long before that. Even if no one knew about his time as a male prostitute, the idea of becoming a babysitter after having worked as such seemed a bit unnerving to Simon.

“I don’t know about that, Jerry. I doubt anyone would want me watching their kids.”

“I disagree. My friend, Kara, has mentioned she wants to find a good babysitter for her little girl, Alice,” Jerry said.

“Kara is the lady you run the bakery with, right?” Simon asked.

“That’s right.” Jeremy smiled and nodded his head before continuing. “Just like I’ve told you a bit about her, she’s also heard a bit about you from me. In fact, she asked about you just the other day. She knows you are a hard worker and have a great big heart. I bet she’d find you more than suitable as a babysitter for her daughter. I’m sure Alice would just love you too, she’s a sweet little girl.” He spoke fondly as the other two men rested their chins on the back of the sofa and looked between Jeremy and Simon.

“You really think she’d give me a chance?” Simon asked, still hesitant.

“I don’t see why not,” Jeremy shrugged. “Why don’t I send her a text message and ask?”

Simon bit his lip and thought for a moment before finally giving a slow nod of his head. “Ok. I’d really appreciate you doing that.”

Jerry’s eyes squinted in another warm smile before he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Simon watched his thumbs tap against the screen as he typed out a message to his friend. Babysitting wasn’t something Simon had ever really considered, but in the end, he kind of hoped this Kara woman would give him a shot. He could use the cash, even if it might not be as much as he would make at a normal job, and he really did like the idea of hanging out and having fun with a kid for a few hours every now and then. Caring for someone young might help him get in touch with his inner child.

“Does Simon want to see Ralph’s new friend?” The blonde on the couch mumbled timidly, drawing Simon’s attention to him.

“New friend?” he asked, glancing at Jeremy, who finished sending the text before looking at Ralph as well.

“Why don’t you go get your friend while we wait for Kara to message me back?”

Ralph jumped up from the sofa excitedly before scurrying off down the hallway and disappearing into one of the bedrooms. Simon watched him vanish from sight before throwing the two Jerry’s a confused look. Jerick laughed and readjusted himself on the couch before offering a comment that only made Simon more curious.

“He hasn’t stopped doting on the thing since I bought it for him. He’s always talking to it and even carries it around the apartment sometimes. This morning he sat it on the couch next to him so it could watch cartoons with him.”

Simon raised a quizzical eyebrow before turning to see Ralph emerge from the bedroom, tenderly holding something out in front of him with both hands and walking carefully. He thought maybe it would be a stuffed animal or a toy of some sort, but as Ralph turned to make his way down the hallway towards them, Simon realized it was a potted plant he was carrying in his hands like a treasure. The flora resembled a green flower with thick petals, tinted slightly pink at the edges and Simon thought it might be part of the cactus family, despite a lack of prickly parts.

“This is Ralph’s succulent!” Ralph said with a proud grin that caused the bandage still covering half of his face to wrinkle.

Simon let Ralph pad over to him and hold the succulent out for him to see before smiling up at him from his chair. “It’s beautiful,” he said softly.

Ralph made a content noise of approval before cradling the plant in his arms close to his chest and returning to his seat on the couch next to Jerick. “Captain Jerry gave it to Ralph as a present, to welcome him into his new home. Ralph loves his succulent, and he loves his new family. Ralph is happy here.”

The corners of Simon’s mouth curved upwards and he couldn’t help but feel his heart warm at the other blonde’s words. He was glad Ralph had found a home. The thought struck him that maybe if he hadn’t led Ralph here, he might not have ever spoken to Markus again, and the other man might have never offered to give Simon a home as well. It was a bit funny how it had all worked out so well, despite the parts that hadn’t been so heartwarming while leading up to this moment.

Simon frowned, suddenly remembering North in a cell, looking out at him with sad eyes. She, Chloe, and Traci deserved a home where they could be safe and happy too. But he’d left North there at the police station, knowing that she would end up returning to Zlatko in a couple days, and that she and the others would continue living that nightmare that he’d only managed to escaped by some horrible twist of fate.

Maybe Josh had been right. Maybe he should swallow his fear and try to do the right thing. Lieutenant Anderson’s contact card was still tucked in his backpack up in Markus’ apartment. He could call him…

A pinging sound came from Jeremy’s pocket and the triplet pulled his phone out to check the notification before grinning over at Simon.

“Kara is very interested in hiring you to watch Alice! She wants to meet you first though,” Jeremy said, standing and walking over to Simon so he could show him the text message. “She says if you are available, she can meet you at the bakery in just a few minutes.”

Simon read over the text, hardly believing his eyes. “Wow, that was fast. Um, yeah, I suppose I can. Where is it?”

“How about I just drive you?” Jerry said.

“We want to come too!” Jerick jumped up from his seat and Ralph was quick to follow suit, clutching his succulent to his chest.

“What do you say, Simon?” Jeremy asked.

Simon looked at them all before nodding his head. “Sure, let’s go.”

As they all slipped shoes and coats on, Simon couldn’t help but feel amazed at how much things were finally looking up for him. The past couple of days had gotten pretty horrible in a few instances, but now it was like his life was pulling a complete 180° on him. It was almost too good to be true. His only hope was that he would be able to keep up the positive momentum and nothing horrible would happen to make everything go wrong.


	16. Little One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept getting distracted while writing this chapter, so hopefully the quality didn't suffer too much because of that.

The car ride to the bakery where Jeremy worked wasn’t exceptionally long, only made to seem shorter by the entertainment Jerick and Ralph provided in the back seat as they made up new words to the song playing on the radio. Their variations of the lyrics were far more silly than the original and Simon couldn’t help but laugh as they sang over the top of the actual song with their own version. When they pulled up to the curb outside of the bakery, the lights were still on inside but the sign hanging in the window had been flipped to say ‘closed’. Through the glass, Simon could vaguely see three figures sitting at a table, conversing.

“Looks like Kara just closed up shop for the night. We shouldn’t keep her waiting,” Jeremy said, shutting the car down and unbuckling his seatbelt.

Simon followed suit and soon the four of them had all exited the vehicle and gathered at the entrance to the bakery. The door had been left unlocked for them, so Jeremy held it open as Simon and the other two walked inside from out of the cold. Once they had entered, Simon was able to get a better look at the three people already waiting for them.

A petite woman with pale skin and brunette hair cropped into a pixie cut stood up from her seat, turning to face them with a warm smile. Clinging to her waist in a side-hug was a young girl, probably no older than nine or ten years old. Her hair was the same shade as her mother’s but longer and tied back in a ponytail. Perhaps most noticeable of the three was an extremely tall man that, when he stood, almost bumped his head on the light fixture hanging above them. His skin was a lovely ebony color and Simon couldn’t help but look at his toned physique and think that he was built like a brick wall. The blonde was pretty sure this man could squish him like a grape between two fingers if he wanted too. Despite his intimidating size, his face was relaxed into a friendly smile as he watched the four other male’s step closer.

“You must be Simon,” the woman said, moving forward to hold out a hand to him. “It’s so nice to finally meet you in person. Jerry has told me many wonderful things about you. I almost feel like I already know you.”

Simon chuckled a bit nervously but took her hand and shook it lightly. “It’s nice to meet you too, Kara. Is this Alice?” he asked, looking down at the girl, who buried her face in her mother’s side.

“Yes. She’s a bit shy at first, but I’m sure she’ll warm up to you.” Kara looked down at her daughter and patted her side before adding “won’t you, Alice?”

The girl peeked up at Simon but said nothing as she continued to grasp Kara’s blouse in her fist. Simon gave her a small smile and she just continued to stare at him. Alice seemed to be trying to decide if she trusted him or not. That was something he actually understood quite well, having just gone through the same thing himself with Markus.

“It’s ok if you’re a bit nervous,” Simon said before slowly crouching down to her level. “I am too. I can keep you safe and take care of you. But it’s been a long time since I was a kid, and if I’m going to look after you, part of my job is to make sure you have fun. I’m not sure I remember how to have fun like children your age do. Maybe you could teach me how to again?”

Finally, a small smile tugged the corners of Alice’s mouth up. She glanced up at her mother for reassurance before looking back at Simon with a small nod of her head. He returned her expression before standing up straight again and looking to Kara as the woman spoke once more.

“Alice, why don’t you go play with Jerry for a bit while I talk to Simon,” she said, giving her daughter a gentle, encouraging push towards the two Jerry’s and Ralph.

“Come on, Alice, I’ll go with you.” The giant said with a gentle voice.

Simon noticed he had an accent that sounded like it might be Jamaican, though he wasn’t entirely sure. He watched as the tall man held out a hand to the girl. Her slender fingers were dwarfed by his as she took it and he led her over to the Jerry’s and Ralph. The blonde watched them for a moment as Alice pointed up at Ralph’s bandaged face and asked what happened to him. Ralph clutched his succulent to his chest, looking momentarily upset before one of the Jerry’s stepped in and explained for him in a way that was tactful enough to calm Ralph before he could get too distraught.

“She’s a very curious girl,” Kara said, pulling Simon’s attention away from the interaction.

He looked at Kara with a warm expression. “She seems very bright, if a bit soft spoken.”

“It does take her a while to open up to new faces.” Kara shifted her stance, glancing over at Alice and letting her smile falter.

“There’s nothing wrong with that at all. I tend to be a cautious person myself,” Simon reassured.

Kara returned her gaze to Simon and drew in a deep breath before speaking. “It’s been almost seven months since the divorce was finalized and a restraining order was put in place against my ex-husband. But Alice is still dealing with the abuse her father put us through. She’s afraid of opening up because Todd used to hit her just because she wanted to talk about her interests or would get a little too loud while playing.”

Simon’s eyes widened at this information and he felt a surge of protective energy go through him as his eyes darted back over to Alice, who was happily leaning against the tall man’s side while Ralph eagerly showed her his plant. A shaky breath passed Simon’s lips before he looked back over to Kara. She gave him a worried frown before continuing.

“I know it’s not an easy thing to hear, but I think you should be aware of it before I hire you. So far, Todd hasn’t made any attempts to break the restraining order, but I’m always afraid he will try. If I’m going to leave Alice in your care, I need to know that you will protect her if my ex shows up looking for her,” she explained. “We have several plans put in place in case he does show up, and if you choose to accept the job, I will fill you in on all of it. But you have to understand… Alice is my whole world. She is the most important thing, and I need to know that she will be safe if I leave her in your hands.”

It would be a lie if Simon said he wasn’t feeling the pressure she was putting on him. He definitely felt the weight of Kara’s expectations, and if a situation like the one she suggested to be a possibility were to actually happen… well, he just hoped that it wouldn’t ever come to that. Despite this, he looked her square in the eye as he replied.

“Kara, I’ll protect Alice with my life if that’s what it takes. I promise you. I won’t let anything bad happen to her.”

This seemed to be exactly what Kara wanted to hear. The woman took in another deep breath and smiled at him with a slow nod of her head. As her shoulders fell, the shift in her posture made Simon realize how intensely she had been focusing her gaze on him before. All of that tension dissipated as she relaxed and her tone of voice became lighter.

“It takes a lot for me to trust a stranger with Alice, especially after everything she and I have been through together. But I trust Jerry, and he trusts you, so I have faith that you will take good care of my little girl.”

“You have my word,” Simon assured.

He meant it too. Now that he knew what Alice had been through, he felt a strong desire to protect and look after her, despite not really knowing her yet. Simon had his own experiences with abuse, even if it were in a different context. If he could keep her safe, it was almost like saving a part of himself in a way.

Kara smiled at him before looking back over at her daughter fondly. Alice was now sitting in the big guy’s lap and appeared to be teasing Ralph about something as she grinned at him mischievously while the scarred man pouted and folded his arms over his chest, jutting his chin out at her defiantly. Both Jerry’s nudged him and laughed, saying something that Simon couldn’t hear. But their words seemed to make Ralph’s closed off posture melt into a coy playfulness as he warmed back up to Alice.

“She seems quite comfortable with the man holding her,” Simon alluded to his curiosity of the giant smiling down at the girl.

“Oh, she was just as weary of Luther when I first started dating him. But since we haven’t had a babysitter, when I go out on dates with him, she’s had to tag along. I suppose it’s been good in a way, because she’s had time to get to know him, and they’ve become close. Luther is very good with her and I love seeing them get along so well, but…” Kara trailed off and Simon gave her a knowing look.

“It would be nice for you two to have some quality time together, just the two of you,” he said, finishing her sentence for her.

Kara made a noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a sigh before nodding her head at him. “Exactly. We’ve been dating since before the divorce was even completely finalized and he helped me get out of the toxic marriage I had with Todd. But in that entire time, not once have we had a chance to just spend a date by ourselves. I’m so afraid to leave Alice alone and I haven’t been able to find a suitable babysitter until now.” She looked at Simon with a sense of gratitude he felt he hadn’t quite earned yet. “When Jerry sent me that text saying you were interested in the job, I jumped at the chance to hire you. He’s already told me about all the hard work you put in at the shelter and how generous you are even when you have so little for yourself. I can tell that you are a good person and I want someone like that to look after Alice when Luther and I go out.

“It also helps that you are a mature adult. The other options I had were all teenagers only a few years older than Alice herself, and I’m just not comfortable with that,” Kara said with a small titter.

“That’s understandable,” Simon laughed back, feeling flattered at her perception of him, despite having a hunch that Jerry had probably exaggerated on his behalf.

“Now, I know it’s not much, but since Luther and I want to have date night at least once or twice a week, hopefully $200 a night will be enough.”

Kara’s statement caught Simon off guard. He wasn’t expecting that much, and she was acting like she thought it was too little. He quickly shook his head and crossed his hands back and forth in front of him.

“No, $200 is far too much. I’d feel bad making you pay that much,” he said.

“But it will be your only income, you deserve a fair wage,” Kara retorted.

“I can’t accept that much,” Simon stated flatly. When Kara looked disappointed, he sighed, not wanting to offend her. “How about we make it $150 and you throw in a free meal on nights I watch Alice, plus cover the costs of any activities or entertainment so I don’t have to pay those expenses out of pocket to keep her happy,” he negotiated.

“I planned to do that anyways,” Kara frowned.

Simon folded his arms over his chest, saying nothing, but holding his ground. Eventually Kara relented, albeit with a reluctant pout.

“Alright. $150 it is. We can discuss further details in a bit, but I’d like you and Alice to spend a bit of time getting to know each other first, if that’s alright.”

“Of course,” Simon smiled, unfolding his arms as Kara called Alice over.

The girl politely excused herself before slipping out of Luther’s lap and padding over to her mother and Simon. “Yes, Mama?”

“Why don’t you tell Simon a bit about yourself? He is going to be your new babysitter after all,” Kara said. “He should know what sorts of things you like.”

Alice looked at Simon, shyly shrugging her shoulders and going pigeon toed. “I like to read…”

“What sorts of books do you like?” Simon asked.

“Fairytales and fantasy stories, mostly,” she muttered before letting a small smile appear on her youthful features. “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland is my favorite.”

“Well, that’s not surprising,” Simon chuckled.

The smile on Alice’s face disappeared as she pushed her bottom lip out. “Emma Phillips from school always calls me a bookworm and makes fun of me.”

For a split second, Simon’s expression showed confusion as the last name Phillips rested far too familiar with him. Though, he supposed it must only be a coincidence that he shared the same last name with some random child Alice went to school with. It was a fairly common surname, after all. Dismissing the information after only a moment’s consideration, he made an attempt to reassure Alice.

“Well, this Emma girl sounds like she could use a friend to show her how to read, because if she thinks being a bookworm is a bad thing, she’s obviously doing it wrong,” Simon said, placing his hands on his hips.

Alice’s eyes darted to either side before she leaned forward and whispered, “she’s the slowest reader in class.” Simon suppressed a laugh at her blunt honesty as she continued. “Every time it’s her turn to read out loud during story time, the teacher has to tell her to pay attention because she’s too busy talking with her friends about her expensive clothes and how her mom and dad take her to some fancy property they own by the Detroit river for the holidays every year.” Alice pouted grumpily and muttered “she’s probably there now, playing with all the cool toys her parents could afford to get her for Christmas.”

Simon raised an eyebrow and frowned before leaning forward and murmuring back to her, “My parents used to own a holiday home by that river too. Trust me when I tell you it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, especially in the winter. Being that close to the water makes it impossible to keep a house well heated this time of year and the noise from the motorboats outside never ends. Not even at night when you’re trying to sleep.”

Alice seemed to feel a bit better hearing this, and a small smirk played on her lips. Perhaps Simon shouldn’t encourage the petty sense of satisfaction she must be feeling from the knowledge that her rival wasn’t quite as comfortable in her lap of luxury as one would expect. But at least it helped the girl to feel like Emma wasn’t so high up on her own pedestal that she was above Alice.

Simon suddenly turned his head to face Kara as he asked her a question. “Do you and Luther have plans to go out on New Year’s Eve?”

Kara had been watching his and Alice’s exchange with interest, so when she was suddenly included in the conversation, she seemed a little surprised, but answered, nonetheless. “Yes, if you could watch Alice that night, that would be great,” she said.

With a nod of his head, Simon turned back to face Alice with a smile. “There you have it. Little miss Emma may get to spend New Year’s out on that miserable river, but you get to spend it with me.”

“Can we throw a party and stay up until midnight like the grown ups do?” Alice asked, excitedly.

Simon side-glanced at Kara, gaining a nod of her approval before answering. “It wouldn’t be a proper New Year’s Eve if we didn’t.”

The girl jumped in place and pumped a fist into the air with an exclamation of “yes!” while Kara just laughed from her seat. Simon grinned at her excitement. He had a feeling he and Alice were going to become fast friends and he would enjoy his new job looking after her.


	17. A Brother's Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this chapter is another one that could get REALLY uncomfortable for some people, so please mentally prepare yourselves before starting to read it. I tried to be as tasteful about it as possible while still keeping true to Leo's character, which is a bit rough around the edges, particularly with how he phrases things. I hope it's not too triggering for some people, but it does deal with some pretty heavy subject matter.

It was nearing the end of Markus’ shift and he was taking care of the last of the painting supplies Carl had asked him to help clear up in the studio when the sound of the front door opening caused him to look up from his task. He quickly tapped the damp paintbrushes in his hand on the table a couple times before placing them in a glass to dry, then left the studio to see who was there. He was met with the sight of Carl sitting in the living room, waving his son into the room from his wheelchair.

“Leo, how nice of you to visit. Come on in,” Carl said, watching Leo approach with his hands in his pockets.

“Hey, Dad. I was in the neighborhood and thought I would stop by for a bit.” Leo glanced over to Markus and smiled at him. “Didn’t know you were here, Markus.”

“I’m just about to clock out, but it’s good to see you, Leo,” Markus replied warmly.

There was a time when Markus would have called the police on Leo for showing up at Carl’s doorstep, but since he had cleaned up his act, Leo was no longer a threat to Carl’s health and wellbeing. It had been almost two years since Leo had come to Markus himself, asking for help to get sober and find an exit from the criminal gang he’d been a part of for so many years. Markus had been no expert, but he checked Leo into a rehab facility, and luckily, Leo had been so low in the ranks of the small gang that they barely even noticed he left so it took minimal effort for Markus to make sure they didn’t come causing problems for Leo. A lot of the more organized crime rings were harder to get out of once you got involved with them, but the gang Leo had been a part of was nothing more than a band of trouble causers peddling drugs and causing domestic disturbances from time to time. They were not nearly as tight knit as some criminal groups.

Now Leo was no longer doing drugs and had kept his record clean of any further criminal activities. He also shared his father’s creative talents, so Markus had put in a good word for him with a friend and gotten him a steady job as a tattoo artist. It was amazing to see how far Leo had come and Markus was happy to see him flourishing. The best part was that he had repaired a damaged relationship with his father and now Leo and Carl were closer than Markus had ever seen them in all the years he’d been working as Carl’s caregiver.

“I’m glad you decided to visit. I believe you owe me twenty dollars,” Carl said with an impish wink towards Leo.

“No way.” Leo grinned at his father before looking over at Markus. “You actually convinced that guy to move in with you?”

Markus just shrugged his shoulders and gave a cocky smirk in reply. With a shake of his head, Leo dug around in his pocket before taking a few steps closer to Carl and handing his father a $20. Carl took it with a playful smirk of his own and Leo laughed.

“I should have guessed you would smooth-talk him into it. You’ve always had a way with words,” Leo said, looking back at Markus. “Your silver tongue is _part_ of what finally convinced me to pull my head out of my ass and get clean.”

“Even when I couldn’t convince you with the same words,” Carl added towards Leo. “You have a gift, Markus.”

As flattered as Markus was, he couldn’t help but get caught up on something in the way Leo had said ‘part of’. “Words can only do so much. What else inspired you to make the change?” he asked.

Leo suddenly got a far away look in his eyes and frowned, turning his head to stare out the window behind Carl. “I just did some really bad things.” He seemed to want to leave it at that but the awkward silence from both Carl and Markus must have made him uncomfortable enough that he felt pressured to go on. “The night I came to you asking for help, I- I messed up real bad and it- it made me realize it wasn’t just me that my choices were effecting.”

Markus had learned to recognize that when Leo started stuttering like he was, it was a sign he was stressed. He had done the same thing quite often when he was going through withdrawals. Taking a step towards him, Markus placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and gave him a small, reassuring smile.

“It’s ok. You recognized your mistakes and you overcame them. Look how far you’ve come. Carl and I are both proud of you.”

Carl nodded his agreement and reached out to hold his son’s hand. “Thanks, Markus.” Leo grasped his father’s fingers tightly, reaching up to put his other hand on Markus’ as well. “I know you’ve always been like a son to my dad – a better son than I’ve been – But I want you to know that I think of you as a brother to me as well.”

At these words, Markus wasted no time in pulling Leo into a tight embrace. “You and Carl are like family to me too. I’ve got your back, Leo,” he murmured into the other man’s shoulder before pulling away and adding “even if you are a dumbass sometimes and we don’t always get along. I’ve still got you.”

“Most brother’s have that sort of dynamic anyways,” Carl laughed.

Leo chuckled lightly at this as well before reaching down to his pocket and pulling out a pack of cigarettes. “Not in the house, Leo,” Carl groaned.

“I’ve got to head out now. Why don’t you walk me to my car. We can talk for a bit while you smoke before I leave and Carl can keep his house and lungs clean,” Markus suggested with a smile.

Leo nodded his head and the two of them turned to walk towards the front door. “I’ll be back in a bit and we can just hang for a while if it’s cool with you, Dad,” the other man called over his shoulder back at Carl.

“Sound’s good,” Carl replied before the two younger men put on their coats and stepped outside, shutting the door behind them.

The cold night air actually felt nice to Markus after being inside. Carl’s home was always on the extra warm side because of his age, and Markus didn’t mind that, but it felt good to cool off at the end of a shift. He and Leo lingered on the porch as the fairer skinned man clicked a lighter on and held the flame to the end of his cigarette.

“You know those things are terrible for you,” Markus teased.

“Yeah, but they are better than the shit I was doing before, and I need something to calm my ass down when I get antsy.” Leo took a long drag before exhaling and looking at Markus. “I never really told anyone what happened that night… What finally made me realize I didn’t want to be that person anymore. God, I was so scared. I don’t think I could ever tell Dad. I can barely live with myself as it is.”

Markus frowned, watching Leo avert his gaze once more and breathe in more smoke from the stick between his fingers. “You did seem really shook up back when you came to me for help. I never asked for details because I didn’t want to make it worse for you.”

“I know, and I appreciate that, trust me. But I- I want to get it off my chest.” Leo hesitated before looking at Markus with pleading eyes. “Just don’t hate me when I tell you what I did. I was a different person back then.”

Markus nodded his head. He wasn’t sure he was ready for this, but if it’s what Leo needed, he wanted to be there for him. Whatever had happened that made Leo wake up to his choices must have been pretty serious, but Markus refused to let the knowledge shake him enough to make him hate Leo. He had to be understanding no matter what, or it would undo all the progress Leo had made the past two years. He knew Leo was still fragile, Markus had to be supportive for both Leo and Carl’s sake. Carl couldn’t take losing his son again.

Leo took in another lungful of smoke before letting it out in a ragged, long breath. “You know I’m bi.” Markus thought this was a bit of a weird way for Leo to start his confession, particularly since it was something Markus had already discussed with Leo in the past, but he humored him anyways.

“Yeah, I know.”

“And you know I suck at relationships,” he continued.

Markus gave him a sympathetic half smile but didn’t verbalize his agreement with this fact. Instead he stayed silent while waiting for the other man to give more. Leo let his eyes shift towards Markus periodically but couldn’t seem to maintain eye contact as he went on.

“I never was good at asking people out like a normal person. So, when some of the other gang members suggested we rent a hooker together, I-I just went- went along with it.” Markus couldn’t help but frown, but quietly let Leo find the courage to continue. “We decided on this twinky looking guy. Even though he was supposedly a ‘professional’, whatever the hell that means, even he took one look at all of us and seemed to get real nervous.

“It started off fine, but the other guys were getting rough and I could tell the hooker guy was getting scared. I tried to tell them all to back the fuck off and leave him alone, but they just got worse and pushed me out of the way. When they started beating the guy bloody, all I could do was stand back and watch. I yelled at them to stop but I couldn’t do anything, I wasn’t strong enough.

“They ended up beating him to death and when they realized what they’d done they panicked and threw him in the back of a truck before driving off to go dump his body somewhere. I didn’t go with them. I was too freaked out. I came to you instead. I couldn’t- I couldn’t keep living like that. God, what did I do? What had I become?”

By now, tears had started streaming down Leo’s face and he buried his head in his hands, clearly distressed. Markus could understand why, and was having a hard time swallowing all this information himself. He didn’t blame Leo. He’d just been a stupid kid following the example of a group of people that didn’t deserve the silver shine of the trashcan they came from. Besides, it sounded like the moment Leo realized how bad things were getting, he tried to put a stop to it. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to and it cost a man his life.

Markus was unable to hide the disgust on his face, but made sure Leo knew it wasn’t directed at him by pulling the other man into another tight embrace. Leo dropped his cigarette to the ground and just sobbed into Markus’ shoulder as they rocked back and forth slowly. A dusky hand rubbed Leo’s back for several minutes until the jerky motions of his sobbing subsided.

“I’m sorry, Markus. I hate myself for it, I wish I had never-“

“Shh, Leo, it’s ok. It wasn’t your fault, you tried to stop it,” Markus reassured, cutting him off before he could destroy the fragile self-love he had been so carefully building the past two years. “You couldn’t control what they did, all you could do was get yourself out of there and away from them so they couldn’t mess you up as bad as them. You’re better than they are and I’m proud of you for working so hard to improve yourself. It will be ok.”

“You promise you won’t tell Dad?” Leo asked, his voice still cracking as he looked up at Markus.

“No, Leo, I won’t tell anyone. It happened a long time ago, and like you said, you’re a different person now. There’s no reason to dig up your past when you are so much better in the present.”

“Thanks, Markus,” Leo said, stepping away from him. “And- and thanks for listening and not judging. You don’t know how much it means to me.”

Markus reached out and put his hand on Leo’s shoulder again before repeating his earlier sentiment with a sympathetic smile. “I’ve got your back, Leo.”


	18. Pain and Pleasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta keep up with all my projects, I'm starting to slack. Sorry for the wait, hope you enjoy the new chapter!

After discussing the arrangements of his employment and getting to know Kara, Alice, and Luther a little better, Simon had returned back to the apartment building with the Jerry’s and Ralph. They had met Jeremiah, or ‘Nurse Jerry’ as Ralph called him, in the hallways as he was returning from work at the same time. Simon got to fill him in on everything as well and they all talked and enjoyed each other’s company for a few minutes before saying goodnight.

Now back in Markus’ apartment, Simon had decided to surprise the other man when he got home by having dinner ready for him by the time he got off work. He’d dug through the fridge and the pantry before finding what he needed to make a decent meal, hoping Markus wouldn’t mind him just taking what he wanted to prepare dinner. He tried to keep it simple, so wound up making a casserole. It was in the oven heating in no time and soon Simon found himself with nothing to do.

He had a New Year’s Eve party to plan now, for Alice, and apparently some of her friends that she wanted to invite. But he thought it might be easier to get online to accomplish that task, and since he didn’t want to use Markus’ laptop without asking, he figured he would have to wait on that front. Simon pursed his lips and wandered out of the kitchen, eyes scanning the living room for something to preoccupy his time with until Markus arrived.

His gaze eventually landed on his own backpack, still sitting on the floor against the wall near the front door. Simon walked over to it and bent down to rummage through the few items he owned before pulling out a small, rectangular piece of stock paper with ‘Lieutenant Hank Anderson – Detroit Police Department’ printed in professional lettering with a phone number underneath. Just looking at the business card held carefully between his fingers caused Simon to feel his stomach twist itself into knots.

_“You need to do this, Simon. North needs you. Chloe and Traci need you,”_ he thought, quietly giving himself a pep talk to strengthen his resolve.

Raising himself back up to full height, Simon bit his lip before glancing around the apartment nervously. He spotted a wireless house phone sitting on its charger over on the end table next to the sofa and walked towards it hesitantly. As he lowered himself onto the couch, he removed the phone from its charging station before glancing back at the card in his hand. The tiny hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he felt both hot and cold at the same time. Slowly, Simon’s slender fingers started pressing numbers on the phone. He felt a panicked scream trying to rise out of his throat but swallowed it down before hitting the ‘call’ button.

It rang once.

It rang twice.

It began to ring a third time.

Then the door to the apartment opened and Simon nearly jumped out of his skin.

In his surprise, he fumbled the phone, dropping it on the floor before diving down to smash his thumb into the ‘end call’ button. Now kneeling on the ground, Simon quickly turned his head to see Markus frozen in the doorway, halting the motion of taking his coat off to give the blonde a bizarre look. Simon scrambled to his feet and plastered on a fake smile, hastily replacing the phone to its charger before turning to give Markus his full attention.

“Welcome home! I hope you had a good day at work. I, um, have supper cooking in the oven right now.” Simon’s eyes darted to the kitchen and he started to sidestep in that direction. “It, uh, should actually be done now. So, I’ll just… check… on it.”

The blonde was painfully aware of Markus’ eyes following him intently as he awkwardly turned away to go into the kitchen and check the oven. He put a lot of effort into ignoring the other man, who absently hung his coat up and followed him into the other room, green and blue eyes never leaving Simon for a moment. He just kept his back turned as he opened the oven door and bent to take a look at the dish inside.

“Looks done,” Simon said, grabbing a couple hot pads from the counter and reaching in to pull it out of the heat. “Just needs to cool for a few minutes before we can-“

As Simon turned around, he cut himself off, nearly dropping the casserole in shock. Markus had somehow snuck up far closer to him than he had initially realized and was so close that Simon had almost run into him when he had spun to face him. Luckily, Markus seemed to have good reflexes and reached to catch the dish when Simon’s grip slipped. His hands brushed against Simon’s as he held onto the hot pads to keep from burning himself while saving the meal.

Caught like a deer in the headlights, Simon tensed up and froze, staring at Markus with wide eyes. The other man kept his gaze locked with Simon’s as he gently pulled the dish out of his hands and placed it on the counter next to them. Markus had a slight frown as he analyzed Simon’s face, causing the blonde to swallow thickly.

“You’re acting strange,” Markus said slowly, tilting his head to the side slightly but maintaining intense eye contact. “What’s wrong?”

Simon blinked a few times. Admittedly, more times than necessary, and probably out of a subconscious effort to make up for the distinct lack of blinking coming from Markus. A few choked sounds came from his mouth before Simon was able to remember how to speak again.

“Nothing,” Simon spluttered. “Nothing’s wrong. I just…” He was unable to keep his eyes from darting to the side as he tried to come up with an excuse that would cover up the real reason he was so on edge. “I know you didn’t want me to worry about money, but…” Yes. This was perfect, he could tell Markus about his arrangement with Kara and divert his attention from the real cause of his anxiety at the same time. “I sort of got a job.”

The look of surprise in Markus’ eyes softened his features significantly and only continued to do so as a smile lit up his face. “You found work? That’s great, Simon! How did you land a position so fast?” he asked, positively beaming at the blonde.

Simon’s posture relaxed and he breathed out a relieved chuckle. “Well, it’s not exactly a traditional employee role. It’s just a babysitting job for a friend of a friend, so I won’t be making a whole lot. But at least it should be steady. They want me to watch their daughter a couple nights every week.”

“Oh, Simon, that’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you,” Markus laughed and leaned back against the counter, shaking his head. “You had me worried for a minute there. I thought I’d somehow done something to upset you again and you were having thoughts of leaving.”

Simon frowned and a small crease formed between his brows. “No. I was just afraid you would be mad at me for wanting to help with the expenses. After our discussion at the shelter when you first invited me to move in, I thought…” Simon trailed off before shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter. Just so long as you aren’t upset.”

“Not at all. I never said you couldn’t work if you wanted to. I just didn’t want you to feel like you _had_ to,” Markus explained.

One corner of Simon’s mouth twitched upwards slightly before being replaced with an uneasy expression yet again. “Markus?”

“Yes, Simon?”

He hesitated for a moment before going ahead and asking his question. “Why is it so important to you that I stay?”

The lighthearted energy Markus had been radiating faltered somewhat and now it seemed to be his turn to get a little awkward. Though, to his credit, Markus did seem to be better at brushing it off as nothing than Simon had been. The bronze skinned male lifted a hand to the back of his neck and looked down slightly before replying.

“Being completely honest here? I’m not really sure.” Markus looked back up at him and gave a sheepish smile. “All I know is, ever since I met you, I just really want to keep you. I know you’re supposed to be a part of my life. I don’t know how I know, it’s just a feeling I have and I’m not sure where it’s coming from. But, it’s there, and I’ve got this weird habit of following those feelings. They’ve always served me well in the past.”

Simon wasn’t sure what this emotion was that Markus’ answer was giving him, but it was both terrifying and extremely euphoric at the same time. Perhaps it should have been more terrifying than it actually was, but Simon felt like he was suddenly on top of the world. His head was spinning, and every color seemed more vibrant and beautiful than it had been before, every sound sweeter and more melodious. Was this what it felt like when people got high on drugs? As high up as he felt, he couldn’t help but look down and feel afraid of falling.

“I know, it’s kind of weird, and you’re probably thinking I’m out of my mind. Please don’t let it scare you off though. I really just want us to be close friends, Simon. I don’t have any other intentions.”

There it was. The fall.

Markus’ words brought Simon plummeting back down to Earth. The crash wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but it still felt like a painful prick to the heart. Markus just wanted to be friends. Of course, he did. It was doubtful the thought of being with another man had ever crossed the handsome male’s mind. He was probably very heterosexual, and even if he wasn’t, Simon wasn’t exactly a catch. He was just a homeless prostitute covered in scars and carrying more emotional baggage and anxiety than any ten people needed.

“Simon…?”

The blonde refocused his pale blue eyes, which he only just now realized were starting to sting with the beginnings of tears. He quickly blinked them away before they could form. It was quite plain to see that Markus was afraid his answer had made Simon decide to leave again, but Simon forced a pained smile and shook his head.

“No, don’t worry, you didn’t scare me off,” he reassured, turning away from Markus to start getting plates down from the cupboard he’d seen the other man pull dishes from the night before. “I mean, I won’t lie, it’s a little weird,” he joked, trying to disguise the hurt he was feeling. “But I don’t get the feeling from you that you have any intentions of hurting me.”

Simon started dishing up plates for them, hoping to distract himself from his own thoughts. It didn’t work well. He knew Markus didn’t want to hurt him, but somehow, he had already managed to without even trying. Simon’s lip quivered and he scolded himself internally.

_“No. Markus didn’t hurt you. You hurt you, Simon,”_ he thought as he checked a couple drawers for silverware before finding the right one. _“You never should have clung to the false hope that he would ever like you. Not like that.”_

Once the plates were ready, Simon turned around to hand the other man his, only to, once more, find him closer than expected. Markus face was twisted into an expression of worry. He clearly had picked up on Simon’s disappointment. The blonde hated that he was so bad at concealing it.

Simon chose to ignore how close Markus was standing to him and held one of the plates of food out to him expectantly. When Markus reached up, for a moment it almost looked like he was going to forego taking the plate to touch Simon’s face instead. But the movement stuttered and his hand retracted just enough to take the food from Simon’s shaking hand.

“Are you sure nothing else is wrong, Simon?” Markus was so sweet and caring, it was only making this harder.

“No, nothing’s wrong.” Simon left the other male to take a seat at the table.

Markus followed him over, sitting across from the blonde and staring at him with a small frown. Still sticking to his tactic of ignoring the other male, Simon popped a bite of food into his mouth and refused to make eye contact as he chewed in silence. A few minutes passed by before Markus eventually began to eat as well and the two had a relatively quiet meal. It was only when Simon’s plate was nearly empty that he finally chose to speak.

“So, my first night doing this babysitting thing is actually going to be New Year’s Eve. The little girl I’ll be watching wants to throw a party and invite some friends over and…” Simon rested his fork on the table and looked over to Markus with a small pout. “To be honest, I don’t know if I can handle a whole flock of nine-year-old girls all by myself, especially not as my first day on the job.”

Markus smirked at him and some of the tension between the two fell away. “Having second thoughts?” he teased.

“No. I still plan to go through with it. But I already asked her mother if I could recruit a helper on that particular night and she said yes.”

“Oh? And do you have someone in mind for this task already?” Markus continued to look at him from across the table with an amused smile.

“Yeah. Are you available?” Simon said with a dry smirk of his own.

“Pfft! You want _me_ to help you wrangle a bunch of little girls?” Markus exclaimed with a chortle. “I take care of old people, Simon, not children.”

“They’re basically the same!” Simon spilled the comment out before thinking it through very well and Markus shot him a smug look as he retracted the statement. “Ok, they aren’t. But I need your help, Markus. Come on, you can’t leave me to the wolves, they will eat me alive,” he pleaded, trying not to laugh at himself.

Markus had no such reservations and openly giggled while shaking his head. “Alright, fine. I didn’t have any plans for New Year’s anyways. It’s not the kind of party I was hoping to be invited to, but hey, so long as there’s cake, why not?” He shrugged his shoulders and Simon was glad the other male was actually willing to help him out on this one. “There is going to be cake, right?”

A soft chuckle escaped Simon before he replied. “I’m sure I could bake something for the occasion.”

“You’re telling me you cook excellent meals like this, and bake?” Markus said, lifting a forkful of casserole for emphasis.

Simon only rolled his eyes before standing up to take his empty plate to the sink. As he rinsed the dish off, he couldn’t help but notice his heart throbbing in his chest. Did Markus not realize how charming he was? How unbearably kind and attractive and funny anyone in their right minds must find him to be? Simon hated this. But he couldn’t stop chasing it either. Markus was going to be the ruin of him.


	19. Rescued from Drowning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus changes outfits more times than any other character in the game and he is always looking sharp. You can't tell me that boy doesn't have a bit of fashion fetish.

Despite the comfort of Markus’ soft bed and the pleasant scent of his sheets, Simon didn’t sleep as well the second night in his new home as he had the first. If anything, sleeping in Markus’ bed made it worse. Of course, he’d argued with Markus yet again about who would be taking the couch, but the handsome man insisted that Simon spend one more night in his room until they went and bought him a bed of his own the next morning. So, begrudgingly, Simon had slipped under the covers and stared up at the ceiling, overthinking things in the stillness of the dark.

He had let his mind wander to the feelings he’d developed for Markus. Simon had told himself over and over it was stupid to get so attached to him so fast. That it was nothing but infatuation, puppy love, a childish crush, something he needed to get over. He wasn’t sure he could handle staying with Markus if these unfounded feelings persisted, especially since there was very little chance that Markus would ever feel the same and he would probably never have the opportunity to explore these feelings further and let them develop into anything more than stupid, unrequited attraction. It was just a passing phase. Nothing more.

_“Then why are you crying?”_ he had thought to himself before angrily rolling over to shove his face in the pillows, getting them wet with tears.

He’d nearly suffocated himself in his frustration, but eventually came up for air as he forced himself to think of something else. Then his mind had wandered to the phone call he’d almost made. What had he been thinking? What was he going to say? There had been no forethought, no carefully devised plan to execute whatsoever. What could calling Lieutenant Anderson have possibly done to help his friends? If Simon was going to rescue them from Zlatko, he needed a better strategy than calling a number, panicking, and hanging up without saying anything.

If what Connor had told him was accurate, North was still in holding. But when Simon had been lying in bed thinking of all of this, he had remembered that she would be having her hearing that very next day. The young officer had said she would likely be released.

Undoubtedly, Zlatko would have her put straight back to work the moment he got North back. Simon knew her usual route, he knew where to find her. It would be incredibly stupid and dangerous for him to go looking for her, but if he was careful, maybe he could see North again and warn her of his intentions to go to the police. Maybe she could even help him get her and Chloe and Traci free. They could work from the inside while Simon and the police worked from the outside to take Zlatko down. If they worked together in secret, they might have better chances of success, and the girl’s cooperation might earn them a deal so they wouldn’t get in trouble with the law for their forced participation in Zlatko’s crimes.

Possibilities had run through Simon’s head, some good, some bad. But ultimately, the last thought to cross his mind before sleep finally overtook him was that he had to try. He couldn’t let North, Chloe, and Traci down.

“Simon…?”

The soft voice barely registered and sounded muffled, like Simon was underwater. Then a gentle weight on his back pulled his head to the surface and he could hear more clearly.

“Simon, it’s ok.”

Groggy, pale blue eyes slowly opened just enough to squint at the figure sitting on the side of the bed next to him. Simon had to tilt his head up to see Markus looking down at him with a concerned heterochromatic gaze. He felt the weight on his back slide off and realized that Markus had momentarily had his hand resting there overtop of the thick comforter, but now it was gone.

“Are you alright?” The worried tone in his voice made Simon furrow his brow in confusion at the other man.

“What’s going on?” Simon mumbled, pushing himself off his stomach and into a kneeling position while rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“I came to wake you up. We were going to go shopping for a bed for you this morning and I figured we could get an early start but…” Markus trailed off and Simon looked at him expectantly.

“What? What’s wrong?” Simon asked after a moment of silence.

“You- I think you were having a nightmare. You seemed to be having a hard time breathing too,” Markus finally explained, still looking extremely concerned.

Simon suddenly realized that he did feel a bit out of breath and more lethargic than he normally was when first waking up. He took in a deep, ragged breath and tried to remember what he’d been dreaming. It was like grasping at smoke though, and he couldn’t recall.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” he murmured, shrugging his shoulders and taking a few more deep breaths. “It’s probably just because I was sleeping on my stomach.”

“Yeah… maybe…” Markus was still looking at him like he was about to stop breathing again at any moment.

“Markus, I’m fine, really,” Simon reassured.

“But you-“ Markus cut himself off, causing the blonde to furrow his eyebrows at him.

“What is it? What aren’t you saying?”

Markus hesitated before answering him with a question of his own, and it was not one Simon was expecting at all. “Who is North?”

The deep, slow breaths Simon had been taking to raise his oxygen levels abruptly turned into short, rapid ones as he began to hyperventilate. “What?” He struggled to get even the single syllable word out as he felt his chest tighten and twisted his fingers into the bed sheet underneath him.

“You were talking in your sleep. You kept saying ‘I’m sorry, North’ and… gasped for air like you were sobbing.”

Simon stared wide eyed at Markus, completely speechless. He had never been aware of talking in his sleep before. Why did he have to start now, and why like this? Was fate really this cruel to him? It was like the only time good things ever happened to Simon was when they could be thrown back in his face.

Markus frowned, looking down at the floor as he slid off the bed and took a few steps back. “I know it’s none of my business, what you dream of, or the people you know, or what you’ve been through. But…” The sad pout that formed on Markus’ lips made him look very much like a child in that moment and the way his voice became determined but unsteady only added to the effect. “If you ever want to talk to me - about anything - I won’t judge. I’m here for you, Simon.”

Fate was indeed cruel. Simon wanted to throw himself into Markus’ arms and confess all his deepest darkest secrets and tell him about all the hurt he had ever endured and all the overwhelming feelings he had for the beautiful human being offering him the chance to spill his heart out to him. But of course, he knew he couldn’t. To do so would destroy him. 

So, instead, Simon let his gaze fall to the floor and swallowed thickly. “Thank you, Markus.” Even if he couldn’t bring himself to accept the offer, he wanted the other man to know how much it meant to him. “I appreciate that. But I’m fine. It was just a bad dream. I don’t even remember it,” he said with a weak smile as he looked back up at Markus.

The other man returned his expression, mirroring the melancholy feeling behind it but still holding the same amount of care and compassion as well. There was an awkward silence between them for a moment before Simon slowly moved to get out of bed. The motion seemed to break the stagnant tension and Markus shifted his stance to appear more casual.

“Would you like me to bring you your backpack so you can get dressed?” He asked, his tone lighter now but still gentle.

Simon glanced in the direction of the living room, thinking about the clothing he had stashed in the bag there. “You only ever washed the clothes I wore yesterday. The one’s in my bag still need to be cleaned,” he said with a frown.

“Oh.” Markus looked at his closet before shrugging his shoulders and walking over to it. “In that case you can borrow more of my clothes again.”

Simon watched him, a bit surprised. “I could just wear the clothes I wore yesterday again, Markus.”

“Nah, you need something clean. We can buy you some new clothes while we are out today and you can change then if you’d like, but you’re welcome to wear mine whenever.” Markus didn’t even look back at him as he shuffled through the hangers. “Come here and take a look at what I’ve got.”

It was difficult to keep himself from smiling as Simon joined Markus in the walk-in closet. The man was practically giving Simon the shirt off his own back, if in a slightly less literal sense. No wonder the blonde was having such a hard time not becoming endeared to him.

“You really don’t have to-“ Simon was cut off as Markus held a top still on its hanger up to his chest and interrupted him.

“Now, I know it’s more important that the fit is right, but I have to admit, the artist in me kind of wants to see this shade of blue on you because it would really compliment your eyes.”

A smirk formed on Simon’s lips and he couldn’t help himself. “Am I posing for a painting or are we going out to run errands? I thought we needed to get me a bed.”

“Well, you did promise to sit still for me so I could practice,” Markus said, lowering the shirt. “But I guess your bed takes priority to that.” He hung the shirt back up before gesturing around the closet and stepping to the side. “You choose then.”

Simon gave a sideways glance at Markus before looking at the options. He was surprised at just how many clothes the other male had. Maybe he was too used to only having three outfits to his name, but Markus’ wardrobe seemed a bit excessive to him. Not that he was complaining, the man had good taste. He thumbed through some of the pickings before settling on something that looked practical and like it would fit well enough that he wouldn’t have to worry about the jeans slipping down every ten seconds like the sweatpants he was currently borrowing from Markus.

Once he had made his decision, he turned to face Markus with the outfit, ready to leave the closet. He’d assumed Markus would step out of the room and let him change, but the man just stood with his arms folded under his chest, blocking the exit, and watching Simon expectantly. The blonde waited a few seconds, awkwardly thinking maybe Markus had something to say before he was going to leave. But nothing happened. He just stood there waiting.

“Um… Markus?”

“Mhmm?” His tone was so nonchalant, it was unreal.

Simon felt heat rising to his cheeks as he nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Can I… have some- you know… privacy?” he sputtered.

Markus looked genuinely confused for a moment before a look of realization dawned on him. “You… you’re uncomfortable with nudity.”

Simon had to bite back the incredulity in his voice and only managed with some success to tone it down. “I think most people are, Markus.”

“No, no, you’re right,” Markus said, looking embarrassed. “I just… I don’t know. I assumed at some point I would end up painting or drawing a tasteful nude of you so it wouldn’t matter if I saw you undress now. It’s a common thing for artists. I guess I got desensitized to it after doing so many when I was taking classes. I didn’t even think to consider you might not be comfortable with it.” Markus cast a guilty look at the corner of the closet floor. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have just assumed. I should have asked.”

The blush on Simon’s cheeks was so strong now that he was grateful Markus wasn’t able to look him in the eye at the moment. The idea of posing naked for Markus was enough to make his poor gay heart jump out of his chest and flop around on the ground uselessly like a fish. Despite the fact that countless strangers had seen him in his birthday suit due to his past profession, it was a completely different thing to be undressed in front of someone he actually had feelings for.

_“No, Simon. You need to kill those feelings now before you get hurt more. Besides, he doesn’t want to see you naked. Have you forgotten that your body is riddled with ugly scars now?”_ Some of the most painful words ever directed at Simon were the ones his own mind conjured up and thrust at him like sharp daggers.

“I’ll just leave you to it then,” Markus said, turning to leave.

Simon couldn’t say a word as he watched the other man retreat out of the closet. He refused to entertain the idea that the disappointed look on Markus’ face had to do with anything other than his desire to improve his artistic abilities. When the sound of the bedroom door closing signaled that Markus had given him complete privacy, Simon took a moment to gain his composure before looking around the closet he still stood in aimlessly.

“Never thought I’d wind up back in here,” he mumbled to himself bitterly.

Despite his disdain for the euphemism, he took an odd sense of comfort in the added security of closing the closet doors and changing in there, even though Markus wasn’t even in the bedroom at all anymore. He was feeling far too vulnerable and insecure to let the ridiculousness of the overkill in his choice keep him from hiding in the little alcove while he undressed.

It was only just beginning, but Simon could tell that today was going to be a long day. Especially if he was going to accomplish what he hoped to later that night while Markus was at work. The prospect of searching for North in the red-light district and putting himself in so much danger made the idea of standing naked in front of Markus for a portrait seem like a walk in the park.


	20. Compatible Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With all the craziness going on in the world right now I thought we all could use some wholesome fluff, so this chapter is just that. It's a little shorter, but hopefully it can relieve some of the pain we are all facing right now.
> 
> We've also broken 1k hits! Thank you so much to all my readers for your support and comments! It means the world to me and I am so very glad that you are enjoying my work. I hope I can continue to delight you all. 
> 
> With the protests going on here in the U.S. I also want to let everyone know that my heart is with you and I am proud of all those standing up for what is right. Please stay safe out there and continue to show your love and support for equality and respect. I think this is a cause that most, if not all, fans of DBH can get behind and hold dear to our hearts. I love you all and hope you stay safe. <3

What was meant to be a short trip to a furniture store and maybe a stop at a clothing shop turned into hours of running around town from place to place as Markus’ enthusiasm could not be contained. The man wanted to buy every luxury he saw for his new room mate and Simon had to be the voice of reason to reign him in. He was only partially successful.

They ended up with a sturdy full-size bed and some fancy brand mattress that was extra comfortable, despite Simon telling Markus over and over that a twin size and any regular old mattress would do. The moment Simon let it slip that he often woke up sore because of old injuries (that he refused to go into detail about despite Markus’ curiosity) Markus insisted on getting a mattress specially designed to help with back support and other such things.

After they had set it up with the store to have the bed delivered and assembled later that day by some of their employees (another expense Simon could not talk Markus out of), they looked at dresser drawers and Simon had to again reel back Markus’ enthusiasm and convince him that something small and simple was more than enough for what little he had. This only made Markus want to buy him clothes to fill a larger dresser with. Eventually Simon convinced him to stick with a cheaper set of drawers so that he could still afford to get some clothing items for the blonde. However, Simon had no intentions of letting him buy more than two outfits.

His intentions did not happen according to plan.

Markus drove him to the mall and dragged him from store to store, making him play dress up and try on every outfit in sight. At first Simon tried to discourage him by refusing to try on more than one or two things he thought might look nice on him, but he found the more he refused, the more Markus wanted to buy. So, finally indulging Markus, he started going into the dressing rooms and coming out to put on a fashion show for the other man. Miraculously, this helped contain Markus’ impulse to buy every single thing and they were able to narrow the purchases down to about an eighth of what Markus would have originally bought. Unfortunately, this was still approximately twelve outfits more than Simon thought he needed.

“Markus, this is ridiculous. At this rate you are going to spend a small fortune on me. Please, stop,” Simon begged as Markus led him to the food court to buy him lunch.

“Let me spoil you, I’m having fun!” Markus’ charming smile was hard to say no to. “What are you in the mood for?” he asked.

Simon resisted the urge to voice the suggestive remark that popped into his head and reminded himself that Markus was talking about lunch. “I honestly don’t care, Markus,” he sighed. “Something cheap.”

“Stop worrying about money, Simon.”

Markus strode over to one of the food vendors and looked up at the menu. Simon followed behind him with another sigh, carrying some of the bags of clothing the other man had purchased for him as they stood in line. After Markus ordered something, he turned to Simon expectantly and the blonde just chose the cheapest thing on the menu. This did not fly with Markus.

“Simon, that’s an appetizer not a meal,” he scolded before turning back to the person taking their order and getting something else for the blonde.

Simon’s brows furrowed together and he couldn’t help but reach up to rub the bridge of his nose in frustration at Markus. His enthusiasm was cute, but Simon was so worried he was going to drain his bank account on someone that really did not deserve it. Markus was so impulsive. It was exhausting to try and keep his purchases in check. Once the two of them had their food, Simon followed Markus over to a table and they set their bags down on the floor next to them so they could eat.

“So, once we are done here, is there anywhere else you want to stop by? I don’t know if you need anything more, but you name it and I’ll get it for you.” Markus was unstoppable and Simon found his insufferable generosity infuriating.

“Markus, my God,” Simon couldn’t help but blurt out in exasperation, making the other man raise his eyebrows in surprise. “You know what? Yes. I do need you to buy one more thing for me. A **leash** to reign you in with! Stop spending all your money on me, I’m begging you.”

Markus only laughed at him, leaving Simon feeling irritated that he was not taking him seriously. “Relax, Simon. Believe it or not, I’m still well within the budget I set aside just for this.”

This time it was Simon’s turn to look surprised. He hadn’t realized Markus was sticking to a budget and had planned out how much money he was able to spend. Perhaps he wasn’t as impulsive as Simon had initially thought. The blonde man looked down and fiddled with the straw of his drink before sipping on it and feeling a bit guilty for not giving Markus more credit. He should have realized Markus was smarter than that.

“We might have to go a bit out of our way for a leash that will fit me though. This mall doesn’t have any shops like that, but I know of a kink store a little further downtown if you’d like to visit it.” Markus punctuated the statement with a wink and that was the end of Simon.

Soda spurted out of Simon’s mouth as he entered a coughing fit, choking as tears ran down his face and he gasped for air. Immediately, Markus jumped up and put a hand on his back, patting gently and somehow managing to make his laugh sound concerned and amused at the same time. Markus’ joke had Simon’s face turning red for more reasons than just choking on his drink.

“I’m sorry, Simon,” Markus giggled. “I couldn’t help myself, I was just teasing. I didn’t mean to kill you!”

The only reply Simon could manage was a few more coughs as he folded his arms across the table and buried his head in them. Markus kept patting his back lightly until his fit subsided and he could breathe alright again. Simon felt his hand linger for just a few moments too long before sliding off as Markus returned to his seat across the table from him.

“Seriously, though. Are you ok, Simon? I really was just joking around. I didn’t cross any lines, did I?”

Simon just barely raised his head enough to peek up at Markus and see the sheepish smile on his face. “No, you’re fine. I just wasn’t expecting that,” he mumbled, ducking his head back down to hide the blush still dusting his cheeks.

After a few seconds, Simon regained his composure enough to clear his throat and sit up straight. He grabbed a few napkins and began to clean up the mess he made. Of course, Markus was instantly doing the same and helping him.

“I’m sorry I got soda pop on your shirt,” Simon said, trying in vain to soak some of the stain out of the top he was borrowing from the other man with a napkin.

“Don’t worry about it.” Markus just smiled at him and shook his head slightly. “When we are done eating, we can go to the restrooms and you can change into one of the new shirts I bought you.”

Simon began to nod his head, but his attention was caught by a couple walking past and glancing at Markus and him. It was obvious the strangers were boyfriend and girlfriend, as their arms were interlocked with each other and they stood close to one another. The woman pointed at the bags resting at Simon’s feet before turning to her partner.

“At least _someone’s_ boyfriend is willing to buy them nice things,” she said in an accusatory tone to the man she had her arm wrapped around.

Instantly, the red in Simon’s cheeks returned and he began to splutter incoherently as he rapidly glanced back and forth from Markus to the two strangers. “No, it’s not like- We aren’t- I’m not-“

“Yeah, man. Buy your girlfriend something nice, she deserves it,” Markus said with a casual playfulness.

“See, he get’s it,” the girl said, lightly hitting her boyfriend’s arm.

The man she was dating just rolled his eyes. “I told you, I will once I get my next paycheck. Can you just wait that long?”

The woman pouted and continued to tease her boyfriend as they walked away, and their conversation trailed off into the distance. Simon barely even noticed them though. He was too busy staring at Markus in disbelief. The other man remained unaware of Simon’s gaze on him as he watched the two strangers walk away with a humorous smile on his handsome, freckled face.

Either Markus was so unbelievably oblivious that he hadn’t noticed the woman referring to them as boyfriends, or he just had the good grace not to make a big deal out of it and was avoiding making a scene and embarrassing Simon more. Or he was so unbothered by the idea of people thinking Simon was his boyfriend that he just didn’t care. If that were the case, Simon had a very pressing question for Markus about just how comfortable he was with the idea. Unfortunately, the blonde couldn’t work up the nerve to ask him which one of these scenarios was closest to the truth. If it was the first, Simon did not want to be the one to point it out to him that the woman had mistaken them for lovers.

Markus’ gaze finally returned to Simon, causing him to jump slightly and let his pale blue hues dart to the sides. “You alright?” Markus’ tone was just as nonchalant as ever.

“Fine…”

Simon cursed at himself in his head for being such a coward, but it wasn’t enough to give him the courage to pursue the topic. Instead he changed the subject as inconspicuously as he could. He and Markus discussed other mundane subjects as they finished their meal together. In the back of his mind, Simon did his best to ignore the dangerous hope rising in his chest that Markus might actually be, at the very least, open to being in a romantic relationship with him, if not actively interested. The last thing he needed was to entertain false hope that would lead him to heartbreak. His heart had already felt enough pain for one lifetime.

And yet… Markus made his heart beat with so much more life and profound purpose than it ever had before. It made Simon wonder if it might be worth the pain to give his heart to Markus.


	21. Crawling Through the Viper Pit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to pick up the pace a bit.

Once they had set up everything in Simon’s room, it really hit home that he was actually moving in. Seeing clothing in the closet and dresser, the bed set up with sheets and pillows on it, and knowing that it all belonged to him, it was surreal. It had been so long since he’d had anything like this. He could hardly believe it.

Of course, Markus acted like it was all very normal and no big deal. So, when Simon stood in the doorway for several minutes, just staring at his new room and processing that this was his home now, the other man showed visible concern. Simon was quick to shake himself of the feeling and reassure Markus he was fine, just getting used to things. Markus still ended up seeming a bit worried. The handsome male had a big heart and wanted to stay with Simon to help him get adjusted, but Simon needed him to leave, so convinced him he was alright.

As Markus said goodbye, Simon waved from the doorway, watching him enter the elevator. The moment Markus disappeared from view, the smile slipped from his face as he drew in a deep breath and retreated back into the apartment unit. He immediately made his way to his closet and pulled out one of the new outfits Markus had bought him. He’d carefully chosen the dark hooded jacket and black cargo pants with tonight’s plans in mind. They were inconspicuous enough while still allowing him some sense of stealth and anonymity. 

After changing, Simon made sure his key to the apartment was safely latched to a belt loop and tucked in a pocket before walking over to the dresser and carefully picking up the most important item Markus had bought for him earlier that day. They’d spent a large chunk of the afternoon getting it all arranged so Simon was on Markus’ cellphone plan and the device was now completely set up and ready to be used. Despite the huge cost and how bad Simon felt about making Markus pay for it, a cellphone was far too necessary to his plans for Simon to turn him down. Markus didn’t even know the full extent of why it was so important but still agreed with Simon that he needed it. The blonde was only grateful that Markus had been the one to insist so Simon didn’t have to be the one to ask.

Checking that the battery was at 100%, Simon unplugged it from the charger and tucked the phone into one of the many pockets in his pants before slipping his shoes on and pulling his hood up over his head. He only wished he had something more to cover his face with, like a bandana or a mask. But that might draw unwanted attention anyways by looking suspicious.

_“Relax, Simon. You can do this. Everything will be alright,”_ he silently told himself. _“North, Chloe, and Traci need you.”_

Forcing himself to move before he psyched himself out of it, Simon left the apartment, locking the door behind him and heading out into the dying light of the cold Detroit streets. The temperature had fallen back down to uncomfortable levels, but Simon’s new clothing allowed him to be more prepared for it this time. He had several layers on to keep him warm enough that he would hopefully not have to deal with his joints locking up on him again. As he navigated the twists and turns of the city, Simon found himself deeper and deeper in familiar territory that he had hoped to never see again. Soon he was in the center of the red-light district.

Keeping his head down as much as possible, Simon was never more grateful for the way people in this area had a habit of turning a blind eye to everything. He went unnoticed by strangers too busy trading cash, drugs, sex and other illegal items or services in the back alleys to pay him any mind. In search of North, once he reached the corner she frequented most, he was not disappointed. He never thought he would be so happy to see her standing in a skirt far too short for the weather, a miserable look in her eyes, and arms folded under her chest.

The street was very dimly lit, so he wasn’t surprised when she didn’t notice him right away. He kept his head ducked down low in order to let his hood cast a dark shadow across his face as he approached her. When she did finally notice him, it took her a moment to recognize him fully. Though she seemed to suspect, judging by the way she eyed him curiously without immediately trying to sell herself. When Simon spoke, that’s when her suspicions appeared to be confirmed.

“North, are you ok? He didn’t hurt you for getting caught by the police, did he?”

“Simon, what the fuck are you doing here?” She hissed at him, ignoring his questions.

They both kept their voices low, but it was clear that North was still upset with him as she grabbed his arm roughly and yanked him back into the alley behind them while casting weary glances around to make sure no one was watching them. Her grip was strong, and Simon was fairly sure she was going to leave bruises on his skin.

“Ow, North! That hurts.” The exclamation was somehow still kept to whispering volume.

“Serves you right! The hell are you thinking showing up around here? If Zlatko finds out you’re still alive he’ll do worse than kill you,” she chastised, letting go of him.

“I know. But I had to see you,” Simon pouted, rubbing his arm where she had hurt him. “I have to apologize, and not just to you. Do you think you could get Chloe and Traci to meet up with us for a moment?”

“Zlatko won’t want them leaving their routes.”

“He doesn’t have to know. Just for a few minutes, please, North,” Simon pleaded with her, but for several long seconds all she did was stare at him with her eyebrows knitted together.

Finally, she sighed before pulling out her cellphone and typing a quick text message. Simon watched her quietly as she stared at the screen for what seemed like an eternity before presumably reading the replies. Without any explanation, she abruptly tucked the phone back into her coat before looking up at him again.

“Follow me and keep your head down.”

North grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the alleyway. Simon knew better than to ask questions and just followed silently behind her as they made it a couple blocks further into the bad neighborhood. Eventually they reached a building that Simon recognized as one of the ‘business’ houses Zlatko owned for his ‘employees’ to service ‘clients’ in. Luckily, it was one that Zlatko himself rarely, if ever, bothered coming to in person.

“If anyone asks, you’re a client,” North whispered over her shoulder at him.

Simon figured this went without saying, but kept his mouth shut as they entered the building. He didn’t think it was likely anyone would be asking anyways. This was the sort of business that made it a point to keep things under wraps and not ask questions. However, as they made it further into the lobby, a man with a hooked nose and thick five o’clock shadow that just radiated sleaze-ball energy took a step away from the wall he was leaning against and stopped them.

“Already bagging clients, North? You must be eager to please. Or you’re just that much of a whore. You did make sure this one isn’t a cop, didn’t you? I’d hate for you to make the same mistake so soon.”

“Fuck off, Perkins. I don’t need you micromanaging me, you’re going to scare away business,” North replied irritably, leaving Simon wondering who the hell this guy was.

The weaselly looking man cast her a barely interested look before turning his gaze on Simon. Immediately, the blonde turned his head away, tugging his hood to cover his face more. It might seem suspicious under other circumstances, but in this line of work it was not uncommon for clients to want to keep their identities secret, so he hoped that would be his saving grace. He felt this Perkins figure’s eyes linger on him for a few moments before the rather unattractive man took a step back and let them past.

“Just don’t fuck up again, North,” he called after them as they walked past.

Simon saw North make a rude hand gesture over her shoulder at him but neither of them turned to look back as they made their way down the halls. Once they reached the room North had in mind for them, she pushed him through the doorway before entering herself and bolting the door shut behind them.

“Who was that?” Simon asked.

“Perkins, or _Prick_ -ens as we like to call him. He’s a total douche bag that Zlatko assigned to manage us,” North explained, pulling out her phone and typing something into it. “Since you’ve been gone, Zlatko’s business has grown and there are more of us under his thumb. He had to hire shit-heads like Perkins to herd us into groups and act as orderlies to keep us in line.”

A worried frown creased Simon’s forehead when he heard this. That was not good news for a handful of reasons. At least Perkins wouldn’t recognize Simon. Still, there was a chance he would let something slip to Zlatko. Simon felt his anxiety levels creeping higher by the minute.

“Don’t worry, he’s a nuisance at best. Idiot sucks at his job. We’ve found ways around him easily enough,” North reassured when she noticed his concern.

Deciding to change the subject, Simon inquired about her hearing. “I’m assuming you only got fined then?” His question was more rhetorical than anything, as she wouldn’t be here if the judge had decided to punish her with prison time.

“Yeah. Zlatko wasn’t too happy about paying them and gave me some nice new marks behind the ear for it.”

North paused to pull her hair back and show him two fairly fresh cigarette burns behind her left ear. Simon’s stomach churned as he let out a sympathetic noise. He knew that Zlatko tended to punish them in creative ways whenever they did something he didn’t like. Putting the marks in places that wouldn’t be seen by clients ensured that they would still be pretty enough to attract work, but it often meant alternative methods of abuse that were extremely unpleasant.

Once she was done showing him her wounds, North shrugged her shoulders and continued. “Honestly, all things considered, I think I got off the hook pretty easy.”

“What about that officer… Gavin Reed? Did you press charges against him for how he handled the sting?”

“I tried, but that other cop – I think his name was Connor? – Apparently, he has a little brother that is a damn good lawyer. Officer Reed got away scot-free,” North said, muttering a few colorful names for the policeman under her breath that Simon couldn’t fault her for.

“You’re kidding.” Simon’s brows furrowed and he clenched his fists. “He was in the wrong, he should have been punished too.”

“Yeah. It’s ok though, because his lawyer said pretty much the same thing you just did when the trial was over. I saw them in the hallways.” North gave Simon a mischievous grin before explaining.

“Gavin said something to the effect that he was glad someone was on his side, but then Connor’s brother looked him dead in the eyes and said he wasn’t on his side at all and that he thought he was a colossal fucking idiot that should have been sued for every penny. The only reason he wasn’t was because – I think his name was Ronan? Not sure – anyways, he was exceptionally good at his job and was only helping Gavin as a favor to his brother. It was great, you should have seen the gob-smacked look on that bastard cop’s face.”

North actually giggled and Simon was relieved to see her able to laugh about it. He was about to ask her for more details when a tap on the glass of the window behind them made Simon jump. He let out a sigh and his shoulders relaxed when he saw that it was just Chloe, Traci and… some guy Simon didn’t recognize. His posture tensed back up slightly upon seeing the stranger.

North quickly side stepped around Simon and pushed the window up. “I’m glad you got my text before showing up. Perkin’s is being extra annoying tonight, so I figured it would be best you come in through the back,” she explained as she let them in.

Chloe scrambled through first, nearly tripping and falling as she slid through but not letting that deter the radiant smile on her face in the slightest. Once she was fully inside, she immediately wrapped her arms around Simon in a tight embrace.

“Simon! Oh my god, you’re alive! I’m so glad to see you doing well.” She pulled away and suddenly frowned at him, feeling his back and sides with her hands. “You’re so thin. What happened?”

Simon’s mouth opened to answer her but by now Traci was pushing Chloe aside to get her turn at hugging him and the words died in his throat before he could speak them. Traci was much less gentle with her hug, practically tackling him with enough force to make him stumble backwards a few steps. Heavily tattooed arms wrapped around him tightly as she buried her face in his chest and he had to strain his ears to catch what she mumbled against his coat.

“You son of a bitch, I can’t believe you aren’t dead. What the hell are you doing risking your life coming back here?”

A head of blue hair was all Simon could see as he looked down at her and hugged back. “I had to apologize. I know I abandoned you all without so much as a word and I feel really bad about it. I was just so scared, I couldn’t-“

A sharp smack to the back of the head put a fast halt to what Simon was trying to say. He blinked a few times in confusion before turning his head to look at the perpetrator. North scowled at him, lowering her hand to place it on her hip.

“Simon, you idiot. I was angry when I said those things, I didn’t mean them. You didn’t do anything wrong. You did exactly what any of us would do if given the chance and we are all glad you found a way out of this hell. We hate how it happened, but you did the best thing you could have done by running and never looking back.”

Simon stared at North as her rich brown hues became glossy while she spoke. He could tell she was holding back tears. But, somehow, she still kept her voice even and it kept that same haughty irritation it always did. She always had been a master of hiding behind her strength.

“But now you’re risking everything by coming here. God, you’re such an idiot. I can’t believe you came all this way just to apologize over something stupid I said. Simon, I don’t want you getting hurt. Do you realize how dumb of you this is?”

Despite his knee jerk reaction to look away and feel ashamed, this time he didn’t just admit that she was right and beat himself up over it. Simon didn’t come here just to apologize. There was more to it than that, and he might be willing to share this information with North if it weren’t for the unknown in the room with them. Choosing to address this before furthering the conversation, Simon turned to face the dark-haired male sitting quietly in the windowsill.

“Who is this?” Simon asked, point blank.

“This is Rupert. Zlatko used him to replace you when…” Chloe trailed off, looking nervous as her eyes darted towards the floor and she pulled her ponytail over her shoulder to play with the blonde strands absently.

“It’s ok, he’s one of us. You can trust him,” Traci added with a firm nod of her head.

Simon cast her a weary look as he considered this statement. He didn’t know this man and it was dangerous to trust anyone he didn’t personally know and consider family. His gaze trailed back to Rupert, who simply pulled a feather out of his pocket and stared down at it as he twirled it between his fingers.

Rupert seemed rather detached from everything, but Simon knew firsthand that such behavior was a common coping mechanism many of Zlatko’s prostitutes, including Simon himself, employed when first coming to terms with the life they unwittingly landed in. Rupert had likely already gone through much of the same hell Simon and the girls had. In the end, Simon couldn’t bring himself to think of the man as his enemy.

Still, he wanted to know at least something about him before putting his trust in the younger male. Simon took a few cautious steps towards Rupert until he stood directly in front of him. Rupert said nothing as Simon looked down at the grey feather the dark-haired man was still playing with.

“Is that a pigeon feather?” Simon asked softly.

“Yes.” Rupert finally acknowledged him as he looked up with dark eyes. “I keep them as pets up on the roof of this building. Perkins hates them and destroyed the habitats I made. But they still come back and let me feed them.”

Simon smiled sympathetically at the younger man. “You don’t want to be here any more than any of us,” he stated, already knowing it was true just by the hollow look in Rupert’s eyes. “I’m going to try and get you all free.”

Before Simon could even turn to face them, the girls made various sounds of surprise behind him, ranging from glee, to disbelief, to outright anger. He didn’t have to see them to know who was making what particular vocalization, even when no actual words were involved. Still, he turned around and silenced them by raising his hand, even though it was painfully obvious that North was ready to tear him a new one.

“Zlatko still thinks I’m dead. I can use that to our advantage. I know the innerworkings of his operation at least well enough to use it against him. If I can work with the police from the outside, you guys can help me bring him down from the inside.” North made another angry growl to try and make an opening for herself, but he didn’t let her cut him off.

“I got a brand-new phone today. We can exchange numbers and you can add me to your contacts but don’t use either of the names I go by. Zlatko will recognize them. Use the name Jericho instead. It’s important we stay in touch, but I think you all know just how vital it is that we do so in secret and make our messages as cryptic and vague as possible.”

This time North refused to let Simon talk over top of her and physically moved to push him against the wall next to Rupert. “Simon, you’re crazy! You’re going to get us all killed with this hair-brain plan,” she hissed at him.

“Maybe,” he said, swallowing hard as her fingernails pressed into his shoulders through the fabric of his coat. “But wouldn’t you rather die trying to escape hell than spend eternity burning in it?”

North glared at him, the anger still hardening her fierce but beautiful features. Despite this, he could see the cogs turning and knew that she was considering his sentiment. Behind her Traci shifted to comfort Chloe, who was biting her nails and silently crying at the argument between her friends. Chloe always had been rather emotional; Sweet, kind, unbearably naïve even after all she’d been through, but easy to bring to tears, nonetheless. Traci tried to be tough like North, but she was usually more levelheaded and rational. Simon only hoped that North would see reason now and realize that if they were ever going to be free, they had to fight for it. Simon was trying to give them that chance now.

“North, we can do this. We can put a stop to Zlatko so he can’t hurt us or anyone else ever again. We are smart enough and skilled enough to pull it off and I can be the secret weapon, so he never sees it coming.”

North finally pushed away from him, sighing and looking down at the floor. She looked defeated and hopeless. She looked scared. He couldn’t blame her. She was right to be, and Simon was scared too. But when she looked back up at him, the courage she had become so talented at hiding behind was strengthened with determination as she jutted her jaw out and looked Simon square in the eyes.

“Alright. I trust you, Simon. We have to be careful but… I’m in.”


	22. Venomous Bite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Simon suffers quite a bit in this one, so, fair warning.

Once Simon had Rupert and the girl’s contacts added to his phone, and they all had his under the name Jericho, he set up a group text chat and sent a test message to make sure it worked. They all received it, and everything seemed to be functioning properly. He let them all know that it might be a while before he was able to get in contact with the police and start their plan in motion because, if he was going to be honest, he still needed to figure out what exactly his plan was. It was still just a vague concept at the moment. They reassured him that they would all brainstorm and use the text chat to propose ideas as they came up with them. They would figure something out. They had to.

Unfortunately, in the time it took them all to get things set up and, admittedly, spend some time just talking and lamenting on how much they’d missed each other, Simon realized that Perkins might get suspicious if he were to linger any longer. So, reluctantly, they all said their goodbyes and another round of hugs was shared. Normally Simon was at least a little uncomfortable with such physical affection, but with the girls it was different. They were his family. So, he held each of them tight before letting go.

“I promise, I’ll see you all again,” he assured them before turning to North.

“Come on, I’ll walk you out.” She started towards him, but he shook his head and took a step back.

“It will look suspicious if you leave with me. You should wait a few minutes before heading back to your route. Perkins will think you’re cleaning up and I’m just a skittish customer that wants to leave quickly after having my fun.”

North frowned but nodded in agreement with him. “Alright. Be careful and don’t let anyone see you. Zlatko has a lot of eyes working for him and not all of them are as stupid as Perkins. Some of them could recognize you,” she warned.

Simon knew she was right but said nothing as he cast them all one last meaningful look, even giving one to Rupert, before turning and unlocking the door. As he walked out into the hallway, shutting the door behind him, he unzipped his jacket and tried to ruffle up his clothes just a bit to look more convincing before heading towards the front foyer of the building.

Sure enough, Perkins was leaning back against the same wall he had been when Simon had arrived with North, looking bored until he saw the hooded blonde walking towards the doors. Despite Simon giving him a wide berth in an attempt to avoid him, Perkins seemed to have other plans and pushed himself off the wall, quickly striding directly towards Simon to intercept him before he could reach the exit.

The moment Perkin’s hand grabbed his arm, Simon panicked and took a defensive stance as he tried to yank his arm away unsuccessfully. “Can I help you?” he spat in the most intimidating voice he could muster.

It may not have been the wisest choice to immediately go on the offensive, but Simon hoped that it would deter Perkins. The nauseating smile that formed on the weasel’s lips dashed those hopes instantly. Still, Simon kept the scowl on his face as Perkins stepped uncomfortably close, still clutching the blonde’s arm in his grip firmly.

“You were in there an awful long time.” Perkin’s oily voice added to the nauseating effect he had on Simon.

“Maybe you should get better whores. Bitch didn’t know what she was doing so it took a while to get off.” Simon hoped the complaint wouldn’t get her in trouble, he just needed to play the part of a customer and knew firsthand that they were often rude and degrading to the prostitutes that serviced them.

Perkins’ eyes narrowed at him before he let out a dismissive “hmph” but didn’t let go of Simon. “Best watch your back on your way home tonight. This is a bad neighborhood. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.”

Simon made another attempt to yank away, this time actually freeing his arm. “Do you make it a habit to threaten clients? Because that’s a great way to lose repeat customers,” he said through gritted teeth.

“I don’t think you’re a customer.” It seemed Perkins finally decided to stop beating around the bush.

On the inside, Simon was screaming, but he kept his outward appearance calmly annoyed. “Just because the whore had a run in with the police at some point doesn’t mean every client she brings back is one. She may be stupid enough to get caught, but I can assure you I am no cop.”

“How do you know she got caught by the cops?” Perkins asked suspiciously.

“It was the first thing that came out of your mouth when she brought me back here to have sex, you fucking idiot,” Simon snapped before adding “by the way, mentioning that your hookers are bad at avoiding cops is also a great way to lose clients.”

Perkins did not seem to like the fact that Simon was strongly implying that he was stupid. Before he knew what was happening, the slimy man landed a punch directly against Simon’s face. Simon stumbled backwards in shock before hitting the floor and landing on his ass. The pain barely even registered but out of instinct Simon lifted a hand to his face. When he felt something wet, he pulled his fingers away and looked down to see they were covered in blood.

“Guess if you don’t like it, you can get fucked somewhere else,” Perkins said before turning and walking away without another word.

Simon watched him return to leaning against the wall, still a little shaken by the assault. But he quickly pulled himself together, glad that Perkins was leaving it at that. With any luck, he was convinced that Simon was just another prick renting a night of fun and wouldn’t go snooping around.

As Simon stood back up and wiped some of the blood running from his nose on the back of his hand, there was still the lingering worry that Perkins was going to give North hell later. There wasn’t much he could do about it though. So, he pulled the hood that had fallen down off his head when he’d been punched back up before exiting the building. Once safely outside, he texted North a quick message.

_“The manager is stupid but not totally clueless.”_ He hoped the warning would be cryptic enough that if Perkins or Zlatko read her messages, they wouldn’t suspect anything, but that North could understand it well enough herself.

After pressing the send button, Simon tucked the cellphone back into his pocket and held his sleeve up to his nose to try and apply some pressure and stop the bleeding. Luckily the fabric was black, otherwise he might be afraid of staining the brand-new jacket Markus had bought him. As he made his way through the dark streets, he realized the adrenaline from being attacked was starting to wear off and he was starting to feel the pain. The area around his nose and left eye was tender to the touch and Simon wondered if he might have a shiner now. 

It was a relief when Simon made it out of the red-light district without any further incident. The cold was starting to get to him and he couldn’t wait to get back to the apartment he now shared with Markus. Anxiety was still eating away at his insides and he just wanted to go home where he knew he was safe. Seeing the apartment building come into view had him feeling lighter already as he forced his protesting joints to move and get him to the entrance faster.

His relief was short lived as Simon reached the doors and realized that he didn’t have the key to the building. His key was only to Markus’ unit inside. They had yet to get him a building key. Simon wrapped his arms around himself and cursed under his breath before looking over at the intercom system set up to the side. Maybe the Jerrys and Ralph would buzz him in.

He pressed the button for their apartment before leaning his face towards the mic. “Guys, it’s Simon. I locked myself out, can you let me in?”

Nothing.

There was no response, which meant they probably weren’t home right now. Another curse left Simon’s mouth as he began to shiver and rub his arms in an attempt to keep warm. He quickly reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out again to check the time. Markus wouldn’t be back from work for at least another fifteen minutes. A whole string of profanities hissed out of Simon’s mouth this time.

He could feel his hips trying to lock up on him again as the cold slowly crept further into him. He leaned out away from the building to cast a glance around the sidewalk in hopes of some other tenant chancing by and maybe being willing to let him in. No luck, the street was deserted. The groan Simon let out started as one of frustration but quickly turned into a pained sound as his hips and back cramped up.

Resigning himself to waiting for Markus, Simon sat on the steps leading up to the apartment building and hoped he would only have to endure the pain a little while longer. At least his nose had stopped bleeding by now. Though, he was sure his face was still smeared with blood. He was not looking forward to explaining his wound to Markus, who would no doubt want to know what happened. Simon wasn’t sure what excuse he was going to come up with for it. Right now, he was more worried about the excruciating pain in his hips than his face.

As the cold continued to make it worse, Simon began to rock back and forth on the steps, hugging himself and trying not to whimper and whine at how much he was hurting. Fifteen minutes seemed like an eternity, but when he heard the back gate creak from the side of the building where it let out into the tenant parking lot in back, Simon couldn’t help but let his excitement make him jump to his feet.

Or at least, that was the intention. Instead his hips only let him get a few inches off the steps before screaming at him to sit his ass back down. A strangled squeak came out of Simon as he halted the motion and just waited for Markus to emerge from the alleyway. When he did, Markus looked shocked to see Simon waiting outside for him. Probably even more so as he took in the sight of Simon’s condition.

“Simon! What happened?” Markus ran over, using the ice on the ground to slide to his knees in front of Simon rather gracefully and leaving the blonde secretly impressed.

“I forgot that the key for your unit is not a substitute key for the building and locked myself out,” Simon said with an embarrassed smile that was warped by a wince of pain.

“Why are you bleeding?” Markus reached up to cup Simon’s face in his hands but before he could complete the motion, Simon flinched, and he slowly withdrew.

“I, uh…” Simon glanced around as if he might spot something that would inspire a clever lie, but found nothing. He supposed vague truths had always been his best strategy in such situations, so stuck to that. “I went for a walk and some random asshole threw a punch at me.”

“Oh my god, Simon! Are you ok? They were probably trying to rob you. You got away before they could get in more than one punch, right?” Markus was frantic as his eyes searched Simon for any signs of further damage.

“I’m fine. They left me alone after hitting me once.”

“What the hell is wrong with people?” Markus muttered, standing back up and holding a hand out to Simon. “Come on, let’s get you inside so I can wash your face and make sure you don’t need any first aid.”

“Um… I can’t.” Simon tried to smile again but grimaced as the cramping in his hips got worse.

“What? Why?”

“Mmm… you remember those old injuries I was telling you about when you got that special mattress for me?” Simon paused to try and stifle another pained groan. “They get worse in the cold. I-” Another choked whimper interrupted him. “I can’t- I can’t move my hips, it hurts too much.”

“Simon,” Markus breathed his name with a heavy measure of concern before crouching back down. “Do you think you could move enough to climb on my back so I can carry you?”

Simon laughed, though it was clipped by his current condition. “It’s been a long time since I had a piggy-back-ride, but I can try if you’re sure I’m not too heavy.”

“That shouldn’t be an issue.” Markus turned around and assumed the best position for Simon to climb him.

Thankfully, the stairs helped give Simon an advantage so all he really had to do was fall forward on the other man, who was lower down than him. He tried to be gentle about it, but the lack of control over his joints made it difficult. Markus didn’t seem to mind though, and immediately wrapped his arms around Simon’s legs before hoisting him up. As Markus stood, Simon wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck and realized that his fit physique wasn’t just for show.

“You’re stronger than I thought.” The moment Simon’s brain caught up with his mouth, he wanted to slap himself and hide in a deep dark hole somewhere that no one would ever find him.

But Markus seemed unphased by it. “Doesn’t take much muscle to lift a skinny guy like you. Why do you think the first thing I did when you moved in was feed you?”

Simon’s embarrassment was tinged with insult now. “Why does everyone keep mentioning how thin I am?” he asked with a grumpy inflection as Markus slipped one hand off of Simon to quickly unlock the doors and enter the building before gripping his leg and shifting him higher up on his back again.

“I don’t know who this ‘everyone’ is, but as for me, it’s because I’m worried about you.” Markus said, carrying Simon into the elevator and pressing the button for their floor. “I know you weren’t always able to get even a single meal every day when you were homeless, and it’s not your fault. But that’s why I didn’t let you get away with just an appetizer at lunch today.”

Simon felt conflicted with this information. Markus clearly just cared about him and wanted him to be healthy. But what if he thought Simon was unattractive because of how thin he was?

_“He’s not interested in you. Give it up, Simon,”_ he scolded himself, biting his bottom lip and trying not to whimper as another wave of pain spread out from his hips.

“You alright?” Markus asked, stepping out of the elevator as it let them out on the top floor.

“Mmmhhmmmmm.” Although intended as a reassuring yes, the drawn-out noise Simon made was undoubtedly anything but reassuring.

Markus picked up the pace, striding over to their apartment door and quickly unlocking it before entering. He kicked the door shut behind them before making his way over to the couch and carefully lowering Simon down to the cushions so he could slide off his back. Simon tried to relax so the aching muscles in his hips would stop spasming, but as he made an attempt to lay down, a sharp pain shot out through his back causing him to yelp. Markus turned around and lurched forward to try and help but realized there wasn’t much he could do so sort of shifted back and forth helplessly.

“It’s ok. I’m fine,” Simon said through a ragged breath as he slowly managed to get into a laying position across the couch.

“The arthritis in Carl’s hands gets bad when it is cold. Sometimes heat helps. Is that what you need? I can heat up a bag of rice in the microwave for you.” The concern in Markus voice made his words come out so fast it was almost hard for Simon to catch all of them.

“Yes, please,” he nodded.

Markus wasted no time in rushing out of the room to get what the hurting man needed in order to be relieved of his pain. Simon listened to the sounds coming from the kitchen as Markus scrambled around trying to get it to him as quick as possible. Despite the warmth of the apartment, the cold was still clinging to him and the muscles in his hips were constricting tightly as if hoping to suffocate the frigid stinging. Another moan escaped Simon as he squeezed his eyes shut and dug his fingers into the sofa cushions.

Thankfully, it wasn’t too long before Markus emerged from the kitchen with a fabric bag, heavy with heated rice inside. A hitched breath of relief came from Simon as the handsome man took a seat on the coffee table and handed the heat over to the blonde. Gratefully, Simon held it to one of his hips. He was so glad to feel the warmth that he hadn’t noticed that Markus also held a washcloth in his other hand.

“Is it ok if I wipe the blood off your face and check the damage?” Markus asked, gesturing to Simon’s bloody nose with the cloth.

“Oh… yeah…” Simon replied absentmindedly, before shifting the hot rice bag to give his other side a turn.

Markus’ touch was gentle as he carefully cleaned the crimson streaks from Simon’s face. The blonde closed his eyes, despite there being no blood near them. It was mostly down by his nose, lips, and cheek. He wasn’t sure if some had run down his chin or not, but Markus finished by running the cloth over that part as well before lifting Simon’s chin to inspect his work.

Simon opened his eyes in time to catch Markus’ gaze. He didn’t think he would ever get over how intense those beautiful mismatched hues were.

“Looks like you’re going to have a black eye for a couple days. It’s already a nice shade of purple,” Markus sighed.

“Maybe the touch of color will look good in one of your paintings,” Simon teased, already feeling his hips starting to relax some.

Markus smirked at him before pulling away and setting the washcloth down on the coffee table beside him. “How are your hips doing?” he asked, looking down where Simon still pressed the hot rice bag against himself.

“A little better now.” Simon tried to shift position and hissed before adding “they still keep trying to cramp up when I move though.”

“Would a massage help?”

Simon stared blankly at Markus for a moment before registering the implications of his question. He felt a blush rise to his cheeks and mentally cursed his body for sending heat to the wrong part of him when his hips needed it more at the moment. Looking down at said body part before turning back to Markus, he didn’t make eye contact and instead only looked in the other man’s general direction.

“N-no, I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“You sure?” Markus shifted closer to Simon so he was on the edge of the coffee table. “Your issue sounds a lot like some of the joint problems my clients have. I know how to massage them so they feel better, I bet I could do the same for you.”

“I don’t know, Markus. I really don’t think-“

“Simon, I know you don’t like being touched. But I really think I could make you feel better. If you’re in pain and there’s something I can do to stop it, I want to be able to do just that. Please don’t suffer needlessly when I can help.” If Markus’ words of reason weren’t enough to convince Simon, the pout on his lips and the big, dumb, puppy dog eyes he gave certainly did the job.

A long, frustrated sigh, possessing the same tone that a grumble might, left Simon’s mouth as he let his head fall back on the arm of the couch and stared up at the ceiling in defeat. “Fine. Just… be careful.”

“I’ll do my best not to hurt you, just tell me if I do something wrong and I’ll stop,” Markus said, happily sliding down to the floor next to the couch and kneeling beside Simon.

Although he didn’t want Markus to accidentally hurt him either, that wasn’t quite what Simon had meant when he told him to be careful. He only prayed that this wouldn’t lead to Markus finding out he was ticklish. Or worse.

“Hold the heat to one side while I work on the other, then we can switch when I’m done. Alright?” Markus said, raising his hands to hover above Simon’s pelvis.

Simon quietly nodded his head before tucking the rice bag between his right hip and the sofa to hold it in place. He kept his eyes focused on the ceiling, refusing to look down and see what Markus was doing as he loosely folded his arms over his stomach. The moment Markus fingers made contact with him, Simon tensed up, causing his hips to spasm in agony again.

“Relax, it’s ok,” Markus murmured gently before applying more pressure and working on the muscles.

Miraculously, it didn’t take long at all for Simon to follow Markus’ instructions and he eased into the couch as the other man did his thing. Apparently, Markus hadn’t been lying when he said he knew how to give a good massage with the purpose of relieving pain. Simon felt the tension leaving his muscles quickly and it felt incredibly nice.

The blonde’s eyes fluttered closed and he let out a soft sigh. A few minutes of bliss passed before Markus tapped his other hip lightly, prompting Simon to reach down and move the heated bag to his other side. When he did, Simon was surprised to see Markus stand up and move to straddle his legs.

“Wha- What are you doing?” The uneasiness in Simon’s voice was quite apparent as he tensed back up.

“It’s hard to get to the side against the couch, I can reach better this way,” Markus said innocently, halting his movements to wait for Simon’s consent.

“Oh… Ok.” Simon slowly lowered his head back against the arm of the sofa but kept his eyes on the other man nervously.

Markus cautiously lowered himself down on Simon’s legs, sitting just above the knees, before reaching down to massage the blonde’s other hip. This time Simon kept his eyes trained on the attractive male as his fingers pressed against him. It took everything in Simon to keep his breathing even as he glanced back and forth from Markus’ hands to his focused eyes that remained oblivious to Simon watching him.

He’d never been so afraid of wanting something this desperately in his entire life.

When Markus finished and leaned back, pulling his hands away and smiling up at the blonde with not a care in the world, Simon wasn’t sure if he was grateful or heartbroken that it was over. He didn’t have much time to sort out his confused feelings before Markus was cheerfully asking him a question. The man really was blissfully unaware of the conflict he’d stirred up in Simon.

“How is that? Feel better?”

Simon let out a shaky hum to test his voice first before answering with more confidence. “Yes. Thank you.”

Markus looked entirely pleased with himself and stood up, sliding off of the blonde. “I’ll be sure to get a key to the building for you tomorrow. But Simon?”

“Hmm?”

“Please. No more late-night walks.” The satisfied expression Markus had held before shifted into one of concern. “I know you can take care of yourself and you had to do that back when you were living on the streets. But you don’t have to anymore. The city is dangerous at night. If you need to go for a walk, do it during the day. Please. For me?”

There was that pout again. If Simon didn’t know any better, he might think Markus was aware of just how weak he was to it and was purposefully using it against him. They hadn’t known each other long enough for that though.

“I’ll try to limit my pleasure strolls to daylight hours,” Simon answered.

Markus smiled at him before walking over to the door to take off his coat and hang it up. He must have forgotten to do so earlier because of his concern for his roommate. Simon just quietly watched him, hoping Markus would forgive him for lying. It was quite possible that at some point he would once more end up going out at night. He may have to meet up with his friends again and if so, it was likely to happen during later hours, because the safest place to hide was in the dark.


	23. All the Love in the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I'm guilty of getting sidetracked with writing a different, unrelated simon/markus fic that I had an idea for and just had to start. These guys are addictive, heh. So if you are interested in it, you will have another fic by me to look forward to later involving these two dorks. I don't plan to post it until it's completed though because I need to focus on this one more. Anyways, enjoy the beginning of our New Years Eve party with Alice!

It had been a couple days since Markus had found Simon waiting outside for him with blood on his face and a bruised eye. He still felt a bit uneasy when he thought of it and was fairly sure Simon had been lying to him about what he was doing out that night. But he tried to pretend like it didn’t hurt that Simon still didn’t trust him by putting on a smile and acting like he had no clue. It was clear that Simon was a private person and Markus didn’t want to infringe on that privacy, even if he was unbearably curious. More than that, he was worried. But he had to force himself not to intrude on Simon’s personal life.

It was at least nice to know that, with time, the beautiful man was starting to open up to him a little more, albeit quite slowly. They had spent quite a bit of time together planning this Alice girl’s party for New Year’s Eve and Markus was enjoying it. He’d never really planned a kid’s party before, but he found that Simon was quite good at it, and Markus was content just to be included in the process, even if the other man was doing most of the work. Simon had thought up several games for them to play and made party favors by hand that were cheap but still creative and cute. Markus was sure the kids would enjoy them.

Simon had even baked a chocolate cake, just like he had promised, and decorated it with more skill than Markus would have expected. It seemed he wasn’t the only artist around, because Simon made the cake into the shape of an adorable butterfly with wings frosted in blue and purple patterns. Markus watched him press a few decorative candies into the icing before Simon wiped his hands off on a paper towel and looked down at his work with a satisfied nod of his head.

“It looks great, Simon,” Markus smiled at him with his chin resting in his hands and his elbows propped against the counter.

“I just hope it tastes as good as it looks. It’s been years since I baked anything like this.” Simon smiled back at him but looked a little unsure of himself.

“Hey, I offered to taste test it earlier and you wouldn’t let me,” Markus teased, enjoying the melodious laugh that came from Simon in response.

“You can try it later, along with the rest of the children.” Markus didn’t miss the jab, but took no offense as Simon turned to face him. “Do you think you could help me carry all the stuff out to your car?”

“Of course.” Markus started gathering the party supplies while Simon put a lid over the cake and picked it up off the counter.

Once the two of them had everything, they left the apartment, locking the door behind them, and headed towards the elevator together. Markus had never been to Kara’s house, or even met her before, but Simon had called the woman and let her and Markus speak over the phone for a few minutes to let her know he’d be helping Simon out. She’d also given him her address so he could drive them to the place. Markus was, admittedly, a little nervous, but figured he might as well just relax and have fun with it. It was supposed to be a party after all.

It seemed Markus wasn’t the only one feeling a bit anxious though. As he glanced over at Simon, he saw the blonde shift his weight back and forth on the balls of his feet restlessly while biting his bottom lip. When the elevator let them off on the ground floor, Markus stopped him just outside of the doors.

“Hey, you ok?” he asked cutting Simon off from going any further by stepping in front of him tentatively.

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, I just…” Simon glanced down at the ground before looking back at Markus with a self-conscious look in his eyes. “Do you think this is too obvious?” Simon shifted the cake to balance in one arm as he used his free hand to point up to the eye that had been healing over the past couple days.

Markus offered a warm smile and breathed out an airy chuckle before responding. “Simon, you look fine. The bruise is barely even there anymore. I don’t think anyone would even notice unless you pointed it out.” Simon nodded with a small frown, still seeming to be unsure, so Markus added “really, don’t worry about it, Simon. You’re beautiful.”

Simon kept silent, but his cheeks turned pink, making Markus’ grin grow a little wider. He stepped out of Simon’s way, pushing the door open and holding it for the blonde. Simon tucked the cake against his chest and bowed his head bashfully before moving past Markus and exiting the building. Markus followed behind and the two of them made their way around the building to the parking lot and put the items they had been carrying into the trunk of Markus’ car.

As they climbed inside, Markus asked about Alice and her whole situation again, and Simon explained that they were to keep an eye out for her father even though it was unlikely he would show up. He also explained that Kara and her boyfriend would be out until around 3am so even when the party was over, they would have to put Alice to bed and stay for a few more hours until her mother returned home. He then informed Markus of the list of friends Alice had invited, which apparently included a rival of hers from school that her mother had insisted she ask to come in hopes that they could make up and be friends.

“Her name is Emma Phillips and Alice is a bit jealous of her for being the rich kid in class,” Simon elaborated. “She also makes fun of Alice for being a better reader than her, so if you see any signs of them starting to get into a fight, try to defuse it and encourage them to get along.”

“Got it.” Markus nodded his head in confirmation as they pulled up to the address Kara had given them.

In the window of the small house, Markus could see a little girl that he could only assume was Alice as she peeked through the glass at them. Her head was framed by the Christmas lights still hanging in the window as she beamed at them and waved excitedly. Markus smiled and waved back as he stepped out of the car before turning to see Simon doing the same.

The two of them went to the back of the car to get everything out of the trunk before walking up to the front porch and ringing the doorbell. Alice had apparently moved to welcome them, as it took less than a second after pressing the button for her to open the door to let them in. She jumped up and down excitedly as her mother could be seen coming into view from one of the other rooms behind her.

“Simon, you’re here! Come inside. You too.” Alice pulled Simon in first, then Markus, wrapping her petite hands around their elbows and dragging them inside enthusiastically.

Both men couldn’t help but laugh as Kara smiled and shook her head. “I’m glad you two made it safe. Look at all this! You really went all out,” the woman said, gesturing to the bags of party games and favors Markus was holding.

“It was all Simon. He knows how to plan a party,” Markus said, closing the front door behind him.

“I hope I didn’t spend too much. I tried to keep everything fairly cheap.” Of course, Simon was worried about the money, as Markus was finding to be typical of the endearing man.

“Don’t worry, I already looked at the receipts you emailed me, and I won’t have any problem paying you back,” Kara said warmly.

“Is that a cake?” asked Alice, standing up on her tip toes to peek at the treat in Simon’s arms.

“I baked it myself, just for you and your friends.” Simon tilted the pan down so she could get a better look through the transparent lid and earned an excited squeal from the little girl.

Laughing, Kara shooed her away from Simon. “Not until later when your friends arrive. And not until after dinner.” She then looked at Markus and Simon as Alice rolled her eyes and shuffled over to flop into a nearby chair. “I’ve already ordered some pizza and the driver should be on their way now. It should be here in time for me to pay them before Luther picks me up for our date and party guests start arriving. Until then, let me show you around.”

Kara proceeded to give them a short tour of her home, explaining the house rules and letting them set the cake and other things down in the kitchen as they passed. Markus was glad the rules were pretty relaxed and not too strict. When she was done listing them off, they ended up back in the living room, where Alice was playing random notes on a small electric keyboard set up in the corner near the Christmas tree that had yet to be taken down.

Unable to help himself, Markus wandered over next to her and looked down at the keys before eyeing Alice curiously. “Do you know how to play any songs?” he asked her.

She looked up at him and shrugged her shoulders. “Just ‘Heart and Soul’.” Alice then started to play one part of the simple tune.

Without being prompted, Markus let his fingers drift across one side of the keyboard before playing the harmony along with her. The little girl seemed quite enchanted with this and looked up at him with sparkling brown eyes.

“Hey, you can play too! Do you know any other songs, mister…” her small voice faltered a bit as she tried to remember the name her mother had told her earlier.

Markus just laughed, about to remind her when her mother beat him to it. “His name is Markus, Alice.”

“Can you play me a song, Markus?” Alice asked, retracting her hands from the keyboard and staring at him expectantly.

“Well, I suppose I could.” Markus smiled down at her before pulling the piano bench out and taking a seat. “What would you like me to play?”

“Something pretty,” was the only vague reply she gave him, causing Markus to laugh again at her innocence.

He hummed in deep thought for a moment before raising his hands to the keys and beginning to [play](https://youtu.be/WC0TmEk5oZw?t=190). It was slow at first, but quickly picked up pace and became more complicated. Markus’ fingers danced across the keyboard as he improvised most of the embellishments, not quite remembering exactly how the sheet music went. But his playing was passionate enough that when he stole a glance over at Alice, she was twirling beside him and pretending to be a ballerina, despite the music being a rendition of an industrial song. She didn’t know that though. All she knew was that she liked the music and wanted to dance to it.

A wide grin spread across Markus’ face and he laughed before bringing the song to a close and slowing down his playing for the last few notes. When he was done, he swung one of his legs over to the other side of the bench to face Alice.

“How was that?” he asked.

“That was fun,” she giggled in reply.

“I didn’t know you could play piano.” The sound of Simon’s soft voice drew Markus’ gaze to the other man, and he was met with that same, subtle smile that reminded him of the Mona Lisa.

“It’s been a while since I practiced.” Although the words were humble, the pride in his smile probably gave away how pleased he was that Simon seemed impressed.

“Can you teach me how to play like that?” Alice asked, already sliding onto the bench next to him and letting her fingers play a few scrambled notes on the keyboard that did not sound at all harmonious.

“Alice, please-“ Kara started to sigh before the doorbell rang, drawing all of their attention away from the instrument.

When Kara answered the door, a giant of a man, that Markus recognized as Luther by Simon’s description, could be seen standing just outside on the front porch with several boxes of pizza held up in one hand. “I met the delivery boy in the driveway and took the liberty of paying,” he said, smiling down at his girlfriend.

She returned his expression but put her hands on her hips and shook her head. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Luther!” Alice ran over and latched onto Luther’s leg, hugging him tightly before looking up as he patted her on the head.

Kara took the pizzas from him and walked past Markus and Simon to take them to the kitchen as Alice dragged Luther into the house much the same way she had the other two men. Markus watched as Luther nodded towards Simon and said hello before doing the same with him. Alice was polite enough to introduce Markus and Luther and the three men in the room awkwardly made small talk for a few minutes before Kara emerged from the kitchen, pulling a coat on and kissing Alice on the top of her head before addressing Markus and Simon.

“Guests should start arriving for your party in about fifteen minutes. You seem well prepared, but I’ll wish you luck anyways. Five girls are a handful, but I’m sure you’ll manage alright with each other’s help. If you need anything, you’ve got my number. Just…” She paused to look at Luther with a mix of excitement and nervousness before Simon finished her sentence for her.

“Try not to need anything. Got it,” he chuckled lightly. “Don’t worry, have fun. We’ll hold down the fort alright here.”

Markus nodded his agreement and Kara gave them both a grateful smile before telling Alice to behave, making a special note for her not to fight with Emma, before saying goodbye to all of them and leading Luther out the door. Alice rushed over to the window to wave at them as they got in the car and both Simon and Markus followed her over and did the same. As soon as the car disappeared from view, Markus looked down at Alice with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

“When the parents are away, the children will play. You want to sneak a piece of cake before everyone else gets here?”

Alice looked surprised at first but quickly giggled “We can do that?”

Simon seemed less impressed. “Markus, Kara said not to let her have any cake until after she ate dinner.”

“Oh, come on, let her live a little.” Markus smirked at Simon, who looked appalled. “Just a small piece. We’ll let you have one too if you keep our secret.”

Simon appeared to be struggling to keep his face straight as he argued. “Markus, Kara trusted us to take care of Alice. Breaking one of the few, simple rules she asked us to follow can’t be the very first thing we do.”

“Um, yeah, it can. It’s a party, Simon.” Markus looked down at Alice, who’s gaze shifted back and forth between the two men insecurely. “Psh, this guy. He may know how to _plan_ a party, but he doesn’t know how to let loose and _actually_ party.”

“Markus, you’re being a bad influence.” Simon furrowed his brows at Markus with a cute pout.

“And you’re being a stick in the mud. Come eat some cake with us.” Markus held his hand out to Alice.

She glanced back over to Simon for reassurance, but when all he did was look uncertain himself, she looked back up at Markus before slipping her hand into his. Markus smiled triumphantly before leading her to the kitchen, where the cake still sat on the table where they’d left it, untouched. Simon followed behind them, biting his bottom lip and absently rubbing the hem of his shirt between his fingers. As Markus raised the lid off of the cake, he glanced back at Simon and winked, unable to resist teasing the poor, tightly wound man. The flustered look on his face in reaction only egged Markus on.

“If we take the antenna of the butterfly, I bet no one would notice. What do you think, Alice?” Markus asked, looking to the girl standing beside him.

“Yeah,” she agreed, “they are small enough that they won’t spoil our dinner either.”

“Good call.” Markus winked at her too before looking over to Simon again. “See, we aren’t _completely_ irresponsible.”

Simon grumbled something inaudible under his breath and Markus just laughed before grabbing some of the paper plates that had been set out for the night and a plastic fork. He then used the fork to cut off the thin pieces of cake that Simon had so carefully shaped to make the butterfly’s antenna before placing one on a plate and handing it to Alice. He then did the same with the other piece, only saving it for himself. Simon put the lid back on the rest of the cake with a grumpy frown and Markus couldn’t help but find it adorable how worried he was about their tiny act of rebellion.

“Simon.” Markus called playfully, causing the blonde to turn his head and look at him. “You can share my piece if you like.”

No words left Simon, who instead let his eyes shift over to Alice. It was as if he was looking for reassurance from her this time. The little girl shoved a piece of cake in her mouth and smiled at him before providing the very thing Simon sought from her.

“Mama says it’s nice to share and rude to turn down someone who offers.”

Markus took a bite himself before adding “Plus, mmm, your cake tastes really good,” through a mouthful of the stuff.

Simon let his face fall into an unamused expression for just a fraction of a second before returning to the insecure shyness it had before. Deciding to persuade him by curling a single finger in invitation, Markus held the plate of cake out to him with his other hand. Reluctantly, Simon accepted, taking the plate from Markus and lifting the fork to hover above the dessert.

“It really is good, Simon,” Alice encouraged, already stuffing the last bite of her own piece in her mouth.

Simon watched her scarf it down before letting out a defeated sigh and finally taking a bite himself. “How does rebellion taste?” Markus teased as he watched the other man swallow.

“Like chocolate and the knowledge that I’m going to regret this later.” Despite his cynicism, Markus was delighted to see that Simon was actually smiling now.

“Chocolate, the knowledge that we’re going to regret this later, and not caring because freedom!” Markus joked, raising his hands in the air above his head at the exclamation.

“Freedom!” Alice raised her fork and now empty plate in the air as she shouted, causing him to laugh in surprise at the fact that she was just jumping in right along with him.

“Great, you’ve started a revolution,” Simon said sarcastically before taking another bite of cake.

“Hey, I may be the face of this revolution, but you’re my right-hand man.”

“What about me?” Alice asked defensively.

“Uh… you’re my left-hand girl?” Markus wasn’t sure if that was a thing, but Alice seemed to be satisfied with it as she nodded her head and put her hands on her hips with a proud grin.

“You’re unbelievable.” Simon pretended to disapprove, but the half smirk he was unable to keep from twisting his lips told Markus that he was having fun.

“Thank you, I know,” he replied shamelessly, earning an eyeroll from the other man.

Markus didn’t care if Simon rolled his eyes and complained, just so long as he was enjoying himself, and Markus could tell that he was, even if it was supposed to be a secret. It was a poorly kept one and Markus knew that he was victorious in his attempts to amuse the blonde, despite his protests. The best part was knowing that he was the one to make Simon finally relax and have some fun. That was a sensation sweeter than any slice of cake could ever be.


	24. Friends and Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is still from Markus' point of view. Lot's of sickeningly sweet, tooth rotting fluff, but then a nasty shock to break that up near the end. There was supposed to be more to this chapter but it was already getting long so I had to cut it off early. I'll just have to add the rest to the next chapter. Enjoy the drama!

When guests started arriving it was absolute chaos, as they all seemed to arrive at the exact same time. One or two pairs of parents came to the door to drop their kids off, but it only took a few bodies for the small front porch to become crowded and the rest of the adults seemed to decide that staying in their cars while shooing their daughters out was a better idea. Markus never knew how loud a gaggle of girls this age could be until they started crowding into the front room. Over top of all the deafening noise, he could barely even hear the few parents that did come up to the door as they said goodbye to their children and wished Markus and Simon good luck before leaving.

While Simon tried to get the kids to quiet down with a promise of pizza if they would behave, Markus shut the door and took a deep breath, steeling his nerves. It was going to be a long night, he just knew it. As he blew air out through puffed up cheeks, he heard one of the girls comment on how pretty they thought Simon was and he turned to see Simon give her a comically puzzled look that turned Markus’ sigh into a chuckle. Despite Simon’s confusion at the word choice, he was gracious enough to thank her and reply that he thought she was pretty too. Maybe tonight’s chaos would be offset by the adorableness of Simon’s interactions with these kids and he could make it through to the end of the party relatively ok, after all.

“Alright, hooligans. Who’s hungry?” Markus said, stepping up to help Simon out.

Several hands shot up and there were many shouts of “me” drowning each other out. The only girl that didn’t chime in with the chant was one with dark hair and freckles wearing particularly expensive clothes. She instead threw Markus a dirty look that was actually remarkably similar to the one Simon gave him at the same time.

“I’m not a hooligan, and you’re rude,” she said in a bratty voice, folding her arms over her chest.

“He’s just playing, Emma,” Alice shyly defended.

“Markus likes to tease. You’ll have to forgive him. He means it all in good fun.” Simon was quick to defend him as well, though still shot a disapproving look at Markus from the corner of his eye. “Why don’t you all take a seat while Markus and I bring you some pizza?”

Emma stuck her nose in the air but quietly took a seat on the sofa while the other girls continued to talk loudly and find their own spots to sit. Simon pulled Markus into the kitchen and opened up a box of pizza while Markus handed him some paper plates. As he took them, the blonde whispered at Markus in a condescending tone.

“I know you are just being cute, but maybe insulting the children isn’t the best way to play with them,” he scolded.

“Oh, come on. The only one that had a problem with it was the stuck-up little princess, miss Emma Phillips,” Markus retorted, taking a couple freshly filled plates from Simon.

“Just be nice to them and they will be nice to you…” Markus didn’t miss the barely audible “hopefully” that Simon muttered nervously as he turned away to take food out to the girls.

Markus wanted to say they were just kids, so they couldn’t be that bad, but deep down he was nervous too. The last thing they needed was a bunch of nine and ten-year-old’s throwing tantrums on them. Maybe Simon had a point. So, Markus resolved not to call them any more names from here on out as he handed off plates of pizza to the little girls.

The chatter died down to at least a manageable level now that they had to stop to shove food in their mouths, so Simon and Markus were able to take advantage of the opportunity to get a foothold (so to speak) in establishing their authority. They let them know the rules and that they expected everyone to get along, and then Simon got them all excited for the games and events he had prepared for the evening. Once dinner was done, they started to follow the plan, but the girls blew through the games faster than Simon and Markus had anticipated, so they ended up improvising some activities.

Alice suggested one of her dancing videogames and they all played that for a while. Markus even joined in and showed off some of his moves, purposefully being as dorky as he could to get a laugh from them. He was happy when it worked on not just the kids, but Simon too. Unfortunately, he couldn’t convince Simon to dance with them, as the other man adamantly refused, even when the girls and Markus begged. Markus just made an off hand comment that Simon must be too good at it and they couldn’t handle how awesome he would look dancing if he did, so Simon was really just being merciful for them, which earned another round of laughter from the girls.

When they got tired of that, they did some karaoke and Markus had to listen to the girls sing in high pitched, tone deaf voices for half an hour. He was grateful when Simon seemed to have enough of that and shut it down with a gentle distraction of cat videos he’d looked up on his phone. Most of the girls flocked over to him to see the cute animals on his cellphone screen.

All of them but Emma. She had instead taken out a small makeup kit from a purse she’d brought with her that was far fancier than anything a child that age should own. As she applied some mascara with a bored expression on her face, Markus called her out on being too good to watch kitten videos with the rest of them and soon all of the girl’s attention had turned to the makeup kit she had. Emma seemed to like the attention. Markus and Simon were both just grateful that she agreed to share and let the other girls try on the makeup too. Soon they were giving each other makeovers and Simon and Markus had to dish out compliments every time they asked if they looked pretty.

“I bet Simon would look good with blue eyeshadow. He’s already got pretty eyes,” Alice commented, smacking her lips after applying lipstick haphazardly to her face.

“No way, Markus’ eyes are prettier! They are even different colors,” another girl piped up.

“Now wait a minute.” Markus looked between the girls and Simon nervously. “We’re guys, we don’t wear makeup.”

“Yeah, boy’s don’t wear makeup,” Emma scowled.

“Why not?” one of the girls asked.

Markus was surprised when Simon asked the same question. “What’s wrong with boy’s wearing makeup?”

“They would look good in it,” Alice nodded, standing next to Simon like she was ready to fight for him.

Markus was still a little shocked at the idea, but the more he thought about it the less it bothered him. Simon had a point, there wasn’t any reason guy’s couldn’t paint their faces too, and plenty of men did just that. He supposed he’d just never done it himself, so it seemed a bit foreign to him. But now he was curious.

“You know…” A slow smile spread on Markus’ face as he eyed Simon. “She’s right, you would look good with some eyeshadow, Simon.”

“You can’t be serious.” Emma did not seem to like the idea, but Markus was already snatching up one of the containers of blue powder and sitting on the floor in front of Simon, who watched him with slightly raised eyebrows.

“Close your eyes, Simon.” Markus said, grabbing two of the makeup brushes and handing one to Alice. “Help me out, will you?” he asked her.

Alice quickly joined his side while all the other girls watched with rapt attention. Simon blinked at Markus and Alice with a blank look on his face before finally keeping his eyes closed and leaning forward slightly with his hands in his lap as he sat on the couch. Working together, Alice and Markus started applying blue eyeshadow to his lids. It was slightly uneven, but when Alice turned to get some mascara, Markus corrected her side to match his while she wasn’t looking and she was none the wiser as she started applying the black brush to Simon’s lashes.

“Oops, I got some on your cheek,” she muttered, making Simon smile.

“I got it, don’t worry.” Markus laughed and grabbed one of the makeup remover wipes Emma handed him before cleaning off the glob of goop that had missed it’s mark.

Despite Emma’s protests earlier of how men shouldn’t wear makeup, she seemed completely enraptured as she watched Markus and Alice finish dolling up Simon’s face. She even dug around in her makeup kit to find some blush before helping them. All the other girls giggled and watched while Simon sat perfectly still for them. Once they were done, Markus, Alice, and Emma all leaned back to take a look at their handywork.

“Ok, you can open your eyes now.” Simon obeyed Alice and his lashes fluttered open, a bit heavier than normal due to the thick mascara caked on them.

“What do you think?” he asked.

Markus had to admit, Simon looked damn good in makeup. The pale shade of his eyes was made to appear an intense ocean blue that almost glowed with the illusion the eyeshadow gave them. Letting out a low whistle, Markus curled his fingers and reached his hand out to Alice first, then Emma, giving them each a small fist bump.

“I think we make a good team,” Markus answered.

“Yeah, we do,” Emma laughed, and Markus was glad to see her hugging Alice.

The two girls giggled and fawned over Simon, their rivalry seeming to be long forgotten. With any luck they would remain like this and stay friends, even after the party was over. Markus smiled at them before looking over at Simon again. The blonde had the purest, happiest grin Markus had ever seen on his face as he watched Alice and Emma playing together and getting along so well.

He was so beautiful.

“I wish I could paint you right now.” Upon hearing Markus’ words, Simon blinked himself out of a content daze, finally taking note of the way Markus was staring at him.

Markus couldn’t tell if it was the makeup or if Simon was genuinely blushing, but either way, the blonde sure looked flustered. It only made Markus’ grin grow wider. He loved the way Simon got all embarrassed when he gave him compliments. It was cute. The bashfulness in Simon’s expression didn’t last too long though, as it was replaced by something more defiant and, surprisingly, playful.

“You already had your turn with a brush in hand, now it’s mine,” Simon said, picking up one of the makeup brushes and a container of eyeshadow before calling over at the girls. “Alice, Emma, you’re not done yet. It’s Markus’ turn.”

The girl’s squealed in delight, immediately crawling back over. The other three kids in the group also crowded in to try and get a chance at giving Markus a makeover. All he could do was laugh nervously before glancing at Simon. The blonde just smirked at him and wiggled the brush in the air menacingly.

“Traitor,” Markus teased, then closed his eyes and let the girls climb all over him, applying makeup to his face and tickling his cheeks with the brushes.

He felt like an apple in one of those cartoons where the picknick ants swarmed it before pulling away and leaving nothing but the core. Except when the little girls stepped back to admire their work, he was not an apple core, but an apparently very pretty man wearing a lot of makeup.

“How do I look?” he asked with a good measure of humor in his voice.

“Beautiful.” Simon smiled at him timidly as the girls all chimed in with their own compliments.

“Alright, if we are all so gorgeous, we better take a group selfie now.” Markus pulled his phone out and all the girls crowded in close to him with excitement.

As Markus opened the camera app and held the phone out, they all struggled to fit into the frame. Markus had to wave Simon over to join them, as he seemed a bit hesitant, but it didn’t take too much convincing before he also came into the picture. Simon pressed his face in close to Markus’ with all the girls surrounding them as he took the snapshot. Once it was done, Markus couldn’t help but laugh at the image. He felt like a clown. Simon definitely wore the makeup better than him.

“Alright, where are those makeup wipes, I need to get this stuff off of me.”

Simon chuckled and handed him one before pulling another out of the container for himself as well. They cleaned their faces but went ahead and let the girls keep their makeup on for the rest of the party if they wanted to. Eventually it got late enough that they decided to wind down with some cake and watch a movie together. It was some kid’s cartoon that Markus didn’t really pay much attention too. He was more interested in watching Simon’s reactions and finding him just as adorable as the girls.

When midnight rolled around, they paused the movie to switch on the cable television and watch the ball drop in Times Square for the live countdown in New York City. Once it was officially the start of a new year, the girls all cheered and made a bit of a fuss before settling back down and letting Markus start the movie back playing. Most of the girls wouldn’t get to see the ending though, as that’s when their parents started showing up to take them home.

Just like when they had first arrived at the party, the parents all seemed to come at the exact same time to pick their kids up. Simon and Markus both got up to greet them at the door, but Markus noticed Simon stop at the window to stare at something, so paused before opening the door.

“You alright, Simon?” he asked, getting a little worried when the blonde’s face suddenly grew paler than normal.

“Yes, I’m fine. Can you handle things for a moment? I need to use the restroom.” Simon didn’t look at him when he spoke, only continuing to stare out the window as if he’d just seen a ghost.

“I guess…?” Markus watched Simon as the other man abruptly tore his gaze from the window and walked at a brisk pace out of the room, disappearing into the bathroom down the hallway.

Something was up.

Unfortunately, Markus couldn’t ask Simon what, as he’d run off too fast and there were tired parents waiting outside to pick their daughter’s up from a party that had stretched late into the night. So, figuring there was nothing else he could do for it, Markus opened the door and plastered on a smile as the parents formed a line to receive their children. He grinned and waved at each of the girls as they cheerfully said goodbye and told their parents what a good time they’d had.

The last little girl to leave was Emma, who seemed a bit reluctant to go home. “Mom, can I stay the night? Alice’s babysitters are so fun, and she and I are best friends now.”

Markus was pleasantly surprised to hear this, and even more happy to hear Alice concur with the sentiment. “Yeah, can Emma stay? We could make a pillow fort and finish watching our movie!”

“Ugh, Emma, no. Alice’s mother isn’t even home to say it’s ok. You’ve stayed here long enough. Let’s go.” Mrs. Phillips seemed quite irritable as she grabbed Emma’s wrist and pulled her outside.

Markus couldn’t say he found the woman very charming and wished he could defend poor Emma. Unfortunately, Mrs. Phillips was right. Without Kara here to say if it was ok or not, Markus had no authority to let her spend the night and nurture the friendship she’d developed with Alice.

“Can I at least come play with Alice some other time?” Emma asked her mother as the woman tried to drag her away towards her father, who was waiting on the sidewalk a little further away.

“Maybe another time, but it’s late. You need to get home and to bed now. Say goodbye,” the woman said impatiently.

As her mother shooed her away from the house, Emma called goodbye over her shoulder, waving at Alice, who yelled her own goodbye and waved back. Markus gave Emma a sympathetic look before waving as well and watching her disappear into her parents car. As they drove off into the dark, he pulled the door closed before looking down at Alice.

The little girl had a sad pout on her face, so Markus crouched down and nudged her chin up gently. “It’s ok. You’ll see her again at school. You two are friends now, nothing will change that.”

A slow, shy smile appeared on Alice’s features before she nodded her head in agreement. “Where did Simon go?” she asked, glancing around the room in search of him.

“I think he’s in the bathroom. Let me go check on him.” Markus stood back up to full height before wandering down the hallway and knocking on the bathroom door.

There was no reply, so he tried again, this time calling through the thin wooden barrier. “Simon? You ok in there?”

Something shuffled on the other side and it sounded like something squeaking against the plastic of the tub. Markus’ eyebrows furrowed in concern as he glanced down at Alice, who had wandered over next to him and was pressing her ear to the door with an equally confused look on her face.

“Simon?” she called.

This time there was a distinct sob and Markus was sure Simon was crying in there. He motioned for Alice to wait in the hallway and made sure she stood a bit further away before opening the door. At first, he was met with what appeared to be an empty bathroom, but as he cautiously stepped inside, more quiet sobbing sounded from inside the tub. Markus slowly pulled back the curtain to see Simon, fully clothed, but sitting in the tub, curled up in the fetal position and rocking back and forth with his head tucked down into his knees.

“Simon…” Markus tried to whisper gently but was unable to disguise the alarm in his voice as he knelt down outside the tub. “Simon, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

He wanted so badly to reach out and comfort the other man, but he was afraid if he did it would shatter him like glass. Simon seemed so fragile right now and from past experiences with him, he knew that touching him was liable to make things worse. The gasping sounds grew louder as he seemed unable to contain whatever emotions he was feeling now that Markus had discovered him like this.

“Simon? Why are you sad?” Alice had appeared in the doorway, looking just as concerned as Markus felt.

Apparently, the little girl had been unable to keep her curiosity in check, not that Markus could blame her. He let her wander over next to him and they both looked at Simon with worry written on their faces. Finally, Simon seemed to find a way to get his words out through choked sobs, and Markus found himself listening intently.

“She… I thought it was a coincidence. She has my last name. Phillips. I didn’t think… Oh, God. She’s my sister! And they- They were right there! What if they…” Simon’s head suddenly shot up and he stared at Markus with pleading eyes that were glossy with tears. “They didn’t see me, did they? Markus, please! Tell me they didn’t see me!”

Markus stared at Simon with intense confusion, unsure of what to say as he was still trying to process the distraught man’s words and piece together the broken information. A few painful seconds passed in silence as Simon just searched his heterochromatic eyes for an answer before realization hit Markus.

“You mean Emma? Emma is your sister?” Markus’ mismatched eyes shot wide open with shock and he had to brace himself on the lip of the tub to keep from falling over backwards from the information. “Wait, so that means- Those were _your_ parents?”

Alice looked back and forth between the two men nervously, but Markus couldn’t bring himself to reassure her. He was too busy trying to handle the implications of what Simon was saying. His parents had kicked him out of his home, caused him to be homeless for all these years, when he was only _fourteen_. Emma was only nine. Simon had to be in his mid-twenties, which meant she likely had been born after he had been forced out on the streets. What if they did the same thing to her that they did to Simon? What if they found out that Simon had been one of the people watching their daughter tonight? Markus’ head was reeling, and it was probably so much worse for poor Simon. No wonder he’d crawled into the tub to hide when he saw his parents through the window.

“Markus… Please. Tell me they didn’t see me.” Simon’s voice was barely a whisper, trembling like a leaf in the breeze.

He thought back to how Mrs. Phillips had acted. She seemed irritable and impatient, but he doubted she had seen Simon. Her reaction would likely have been even more extreme, had she caught his gaze in the window. Slowly, unsurely, Markus shook his head.

“No… No, I don’t think so. I think you’re safe.”

A ragged, choppy breath left Simon and it almost sounded relieved. Except he then tucked his head back down into his knees and began crying more, his shoulders shaking violently with the effort. Markus wanted nothing more than to hold him but was still too afraid to try. Alice, it seemed, was not.

Without a word, the little girl climbed into the tub with him and gently tugged Simon’s arms away, unwrapping them from around his legs. He looked up at her with confusion and hiccupped as more fat tears rolled down his cheeks. Alice offered no explanation, instead just making herself comfortable in his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck.

At first Simon seemed uneasy, but Markus watched as Alice patted his shoulder and looked up at the blonde the way only an innocent child could. That look seemed to melt the fear and sorrow in his eyes away, revealing the beauty underneath that Markus had come to recognized in Simon’s gaze. The lovely man slowly relaxed and cradled Alice in his arms, allowing the motion of comforting her to comfort him in return as he rocked them back and forth.

As much as Markus hated seeing Simon so upset, a part of him felt blessed to witness this moment. It was a beautiful, rare, quiet moment that he was honored to be allowed to see. Two pure, innocent souls comforting each other with a tender carefulness. Simon would never cease to inspire awe in Markus, and he hoped there would never come a point where Simon left him. He wanted to bask in the warm light of this lovely man for the rest of his life.


	25. Not Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pst, hey, kid... you want some feels?

Somehow, holding Alice in his lap had calmed Simon down significantly. It was like the steady rocking back and forth and the weight of her in his arms had numbed the panic he’d been feeling and dammed up the flood of chaotic thoughts that had been relentlessly screaming in his head. Now those thoughts were all muffled as if buried under a thick layer of cotton and only a soft, incomprehensible buzzing could make it through. It was enough of a blockade to allow him to gather himself together before he had to face it again.

Alice would never know the immense gratitude he felt towards her for giving him that. She was just a child. She couldn’t possibly understand how much it meant to him. But he held her close and gently bumped his forehead against hers in hopes that he could communicate to her at least some of that gratitude.

Simon wasn’t sure how much time had passed with him just holding her. It had been enough that Markus had shifted into a more comfortable position beside them and was now resting his head on one of his arms, which was draped across the lip of the tub. His eyes still held concern as he watched over the other two, but there was a certain pensive calmness to Markus as well, that helped set Simon at ease.

Letting his gaze trail back over to Alice, her eyelids looked heavy as she struggled to stay awake in Simon’s arms. “What time is it?” He whispered to Markus, trying not to disturb her as she was drifting somewhere between consciousness and sleep.

Markus shifted to pull his sleeve up and look at his watch before softly replying. “Almost 1am.”

“She should be in bed,” Simon murmured, brushing some of the hair out of Alice’s face.

“Will you tuck me in, Simon?” It seemed she wasn’t quite as close to sleep as he’d thought she was.

“Of course, I will.” Simon gave her a weak smile before shifting Alice in his arms so he could push himself up out of the tub while still holding her.

As he stood, Alice reached out towards the other man with one arm. “You too, Markus. You guys have to tell me a story before I can fall asleep.”

Markus just smiled and took her hand while getting up off the floor to stand up next to them. Alice continued holding onto Markus’ fingers and dragging him along behind as Simon carried her out of the bathroom and into her own bedroom. Once inside, Markus pulled back the covers of her bed so Simon could lower her down into it and they both tucked the sheets up over her. She motioned to a stuffed animal laying on the floor out of her reach and Markus was quick to pick the plush fox toy up and hand it to her.

“Alright, go to sleep, Alice,” Simon said, turning to leave the room before her hand reached out and caught the hem of his shirt.

“No. You have to tell me a story first.”

Simon frowned at her before looking at Markus, who shrugged his shoulders and sat on the foot of the bed next to her. “Simon’s tired. How about I tell you a story instead.” When Alice nodded her head at Markus’ suggestion, Simon couldn’t help but turn back to face them again, curious to hear what tale the other man would spin for the girl.

“Alright, let’s see. Once upon a time…” Markus paused, rubbing the five o’clock shadow on his chin thoughtfully before continuing. “There were five princesses. They were all friends. But, uh…” Markus looked at Simon, who simply leaned against the dresser and folded his arms, waiting to hear more. “They were trapped in a tower where two bad guys made them do chores all day and they hated it.”

“You guys aren’t bad guys,” Alice said, clearly associating the princesses with herself and her party guests, and the villains of the story with Markus and Simon.

“Hey, I know, but every story needs bad guys. Besides, I never said it was us.” Markus waved his hand at her dismissively before continuing. “Anyways, the princesses were mad at the bad guys for making them work all day instead of letting them play and do that weird thing cartoon princesses do where they sing and birds fly over and land on their hands to chirp along with the music that inexplicably comes out of nowhere, and it’s all very unrealistic and dumb.”

Alice laughed at this and Simon couldn’t help but let out a snort as well. He quickly raised a hand up to his mouth in an attempt to stifle it, but it was too late. Markus shot him a dirty look before putting his hands on his hips and looking back and forth between the blonde and Alice.

“You want me to tell the story or what? Because I’ll stop if all you’re going to do is make fun of me.”

“No! keep going,” Alice said, still giggling.

Begrudgingly, Markus continued. “Well, the princesses were dumb and unrealistic just like those cartoons, so they were friends with the birds. Or at least one of them was. She managed to distract the bad guys by sending a flock of the stupid pigeons to attack them while the other princesses tried to run away.”

“Markus,” Alice giggled but still had a tone of reprimand in her voice.

Simon on the other hand had grown quiet. He’d stopped associating the princesses with Alice and her friends and instead imagined them as North, Chloe, Traci, himself, and Rupert as the one who was friends with the birds. In his mind, the bad guys were not Simon and Markus, but were Zlatko and Perkins.

“Did the princesses get away?” Alice asked.

“Well, no. I mean, even if they had, the one telling the birds what to do would have been left behind, so they had to come back to try and save her. But that’s when the bad guys caught them again and made them do more chores.” Markus answered, clearly not good at this story telling thing.

“That’s a terrible story!” Alice threw her arms up in the air in frustration.

Markus frowned and looked over to Simon. “Please, you’ve got to help me out here. I have no idea how to make up stories.”

Simon allowed himself to show Markus a small, sympathetic smile before walking over and taking a seat on the bed next to Alice. He still wasn’t sure how he was going to help save North and the other’s, but he supposed he could draw inspiration from what had already happened to him. Keeping it all rated extremely PG, of course.

“Well, they didn’t make it out that time. But as the days of chores and housework stretched on, one fateful night, they had a change of luck.” Simon’s voice was soft as he began expanding on Markus’ story. “It seemed like bad luck at first, but actually turned out to work in their favor after all was said and done.”

“What happened?” Alice asked, her tone thick with curiosity as she scooted up in her bed to try and stay alert enough to find out the answer to her question without falling asleep before the end of the story.

“A group of robbers came to the tower where all the princesses were being held against their will. They saw one of the princesses sweeping the porch outside and decided that they would kidnap her and try to get a ransom. After all, princesses were supposed to be very wealthy. Unfortunately, after they stole her away, they found out that she had no money because she had been held captive for so long by the bad guys that her fortune wasn’t hers anymore.”

“What happened when they found out they couldn’t get any money from her?” Alice seemed far more involved in the story now.

“They… They tried to poison her. But she only pretended to drink the poison, and then she played dead until they left. But after they were gone, she realized that she was free now.”

“Did she go back and rescue her friends?”

Simon furrowed his eyebrows and bit his lip nervously. “She wanted to,” he said, feeling the guilt of taking so long to finally come back and try to help North and the others return to him. “But she was too afraid of the bad guys. So instead she ran away into the woods. She met many friends there, lots of helpful forest people that taught her how to take care of herself and survive out in the wild. She even met a handsome forest sprite that controlled the seasons and painted the leaves in warm colors during the autumn months, and the flowers in soft pastels during the spring. The sprite let her live with him in the hollow of a magic tree and taught her how to be brave. Eventually she gained enough courage that she decided she would go back and rescue the other princesses.”

“Did the sprite help her?” It was a surprise when the question was not spoken in a small child’s voice, but by the man sitting at the foot of the bed beside them.

Simon looked over at Markus, realizing that he’d got so caught up in his own fantasy world that he was only now remembering that the other man had been listening too. The familiar feeling of panic bubbled up in his chest as he wondered if Markus had caught onto the fact that much of the story was based in Simon’s own reality. If he let that panic show on his face, it would surely give him away though. So, Simon took a deep breath and tried to calm his heart rate back down.

It seemed Alice had grown impatient with Simon’s lack of a response, as she nudged his arm expectantly. “Did the princess and the forest sprite rescue her friends?”

Simon smiled nervously down at her. “You’ll have to find out next time I come babysit you. It’s already very late and you need to sleep,” Simon said, laying her down and readjusting the covers so she was properly tucked in again.

Alice let out a disappointed sigh, but it seemed she was sleepy enough that she didn’t have it in her to put up any more of a fight than that. The little girl rolled over onto her side and curled into the warm blankets. Markus placed her stuffed fox on the pillow next to her head and stood up after Simon got to his feet as well.

“Goodnight, Simon. Goodnight Markus,” she called sleepily after them as they made their way to the bedroom door and turned out the lights. “Don’t forget to finish the story next time.” Simon heard the quiet mutter as she yawned and he pulled the door closed behind him and Markus.

Once it was just the two men in the hallway, Simon started to feel the dread he’d felt while hiding in the tub return to him. Markus seemed to pick up on this, raising a hand up as if to touch Simon’s shoulder. As the blonde turned his head to look at Markus, the other man halted the motion, letting his hand hover in the air a mere inch away from Simon. It was so strange to see the normal confidence that Markus held in his expression replaced with the unsure timidity it held now.

“Are you alright, Simon?”

He wanted to say he was fine. Normally he would. For all the times he’d pushed through the pain in the past and told people he would be alright and not to worry, why would he break down and admit he wasn’t now? And yet, that’s exactly what he found himself doing.

“I’m scared,” he finally confessed. “I can’t do this, Markus. It’s all too much, all at once. I can’t do it.”

Simon hated that he was crying again but couldn’t stop it from happening. At this rate he was ready to see if there was some medical procedure that could remove his tear ducts and make it physically impossible for him to cry anymore. He didn’t care that he didn’t have the money for such a thing. He was practically ready to sell a kidney on the black market at this point if it would put an end to his misery.

It seemed that wouldn’t be necessary though, as Markus finally threw caution to the wind. Simon saw his face twist into a determined pout as he balled up the fist of his outstretched hand for just a fraction of a second, retracting it before letting his fingers relax again and reaching out to grasp Simon’s shoulder.

Markus didn’t even have to pull Simon into the embrace as the blonde simply fell into the other man’s arms and cried on his shoulder. He was done trying to hide the emotional pain he’d been forcing down for the past several days. Even if he couldn’t tell Markus why, he could at least let it all out of his system. And boy, did it feel good to just let Markus wrap his arms around Simon and comfort him. A wave or relief that he wasn’t aware he could feel washed over Simon as Markus held him tight and the two just stood in the hallway of Kara’s home hugging each other for several minutes.

Eventually Simon realized he’d stopped crying. He didn’t even feel the need to anymore. Somehow Markus had made him feel a thousand times better and like the obstacles he was facing in life weren’t nearly as insurmountable as he’d thought they were just moments before. The other man hadn’t even needed to say anything. His touch was enough.

“Hey…” It seemed Markus still wanted to say something anyways, so Simon pulled away enough to look at the other man and listen as he spoke. “I know you don’t feel like you can do it all, but… You don’t have to do it alone. I’m here, I can help. You aren’t alone, Simon.”

“I know, but I can’t-“ Simon let his eyes fall to stare at the floor, but Markus hooked a finger under his chin and pulled his gaze back up to meet those intense heterochromatic hues.

“You said once that we are all lost, but when we reach out for each other, it’s not so scary. Because then we aren’t alone. I’m reaching out for you, Simon. Please, don’t leave me alone in the dark. Reach back and let me take your hand. Then neither of us has to be alone.”

All Simon could do was stare at Markus, speechless. He wasn’t sure how to respond to that. There was really no room left for argument. How could he deny Markus’ plea when he said it like that? He’d be a monster to. But he was still so scared of telling him the truth.

An odd, throaty noise came from Simon as he tried to find his voice. “Why weren’t you this eloquent when you were making up a story for Alice?” He hated himself for deflecting, but it had always been what he was best at.

Markus smirked, but somehow it was still soft. “Because those were my words. Now I’m using yours.”

Simon looked back down to the floor, more guilt eating away at him. He wasn’t sure he appreciated Markus throwing his own words back in his face. When the other man pulled away, breaking their embrace, Simon felt even more empty. But then, Markus held his hand out, letting his open palm rest exactly where Simon had been staring down. Baby blue eyes rested on the dusky bronze hand for a moment before trailing up the arm, and even further, before settling on Markus’ warm, expectant smile.

Slowly, Simon lifted his own pale fingers. Every centimeter closer to Markus that his own hand traveled was agonizing for Simon and filled him with fear. But eventually the space between them vanished and Simon’s hand came to rest in Markus’. Somehow the empty feeling disappeared too.

The symbolism wasn’t lost on Simon. He knew the gesture meant he would have to trust Markus now, and let him help with the struggles Simon was facing. It still scared him, and he wasn’t sure he was ready yet. But, in the end, he decided that reaching back for Markus was like a promise. He might have to do it a little bit at a time, but Simon would open up to Markus and start being honest with him.

Markus’ fingers wrapped around Simon’s hand and pulled him a bit closer, causing the blonde to look up at the other man’s face. He was met with a content smile that was infectious. Simon couldn’t help but return the expression.

Unfortunately, it didn’t last too long, as Simon’s new cellphone began to ring loudly in the pocket of his jeans. Both men made cringing faces as Simon struggled to pull the phone out and quickly answer so the obnoxious sound wouldn’t wake Alice up in the room right next to them. He fumbled with it for a moment before finally finding the right button and holding the phone up to his ear.

“Yes?” Simon kept his voice as close to a whisper as possible, hoping Alice hadn’t been woken up.

“Simon, it’s Kara. Is Alice ok?” There was a bit more concern in Kara’s voice than Simon would have liked to hear.

“Yes, she’s fine. We just got her to sleep. Is something wrong?”

A relieved sigh came from the other end of the call before Kara replied. “I got a drunk text from Todd. He’s not even supposed to have my number. It was just some stupid insult, but I was afraid that if he found my number, he might have found our address and…” Simon’s face darkened at the possibility of the turn this news could take and Markus took note, leaning closer to try and catch the conversation. “Look, Luther and I are wrapping up our date early. I’ll be home in about twenty minutes. Just keep Alice safe until Luther and I get there. It’s probably nothing, but I would rather be there just in case.”

“Of course. Drive safe, we’ll keep an eye out for Todd and make sure Alice is safe.” Simon replied somberly.

Kara thanked him and said goodbye before hanging up, no doubt in a rush to get home as soon as possible. As Simon tucked his phone back in his pocket, Markus exchanged a glance with him that told the blonde that he had heard the news and was equally as disturbed by it. There was always something, one thing after another.

At least Simon didn’t have to face it all alone anymore.


	26. Ten Second Countdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter in which Simon get's payback for Markus making him choke on his soda a while back and shenanigans ensue. More shenanigans shall follow in the next chapter, but I think you guys will really appreciate this one.

It came as an immense relief when Kara and Luther arrived without there being any signs of Todd showing up before they got there. In the time between their call and them getting home, Simon had quietly returned to Alice’s room while she slept and made sure she was safe and her bedroom window was locked while Markus did a sweep of the house and checked the other doors and windows. Kara came home shortly after they had secured everything.

She let them know she had called the cops and told them about the breach in the restraining order Todd had made by contacting her. It didn’t sit well with Simon that Todd had somehow found Kara’s phone number when he wasn’t even supposed to have that information, but at least the police had been made aware of it. His only hope was that they would stop him before he did anything worse than send a drunk text message. Especially if he really had gotten his hands on more information than just Kara’s number.

Both Markus and Simon were still worried, but Luther was the one to reassure them that Kara and Alice would be alright, because he would be spending the night to watch over them and make sure Todd didn’t come around looking for trouble. Simon had no problems believing the giant man could protect them, but still told Kara to call him if anything should happen. She thanked him and Markus profusely before the two men said goodbye and headed out to Markus’ car.

Once the two were inside, Markus started up the engine and got the heat going while Simon put his head in his hands and let out a long sigh. He’d had fun with the kids and Markus, but the last hour or two of the night had been unexpectedly rough. Simon wasn’t sure if it was the cold or his own nerves that were causing the tension in his muscles.

“Are you alright, Simon?” Markus’ soft voice drew Simon away from his hands to look at the other man with a weak smile.

“Yeah. Thanks for helping out so much tonight. And for… everything else.”

Markus smiled back but still had a worried expression on his face. “Of course. It was a long night. You probably want to get home and get some sleep, huh?”

Simon frowned as Markus shifted the car into reverse to back out of Kara’s driveway. “Actually, I don’t think I could sleep right now if I tried. I am tired but…” He sighed, hugging himself in an attempt to warm up a bit. “I have too much on my mind to sleep.”

Once they were out on the street, Markus made sure there were no other cars coming before stopping alongside the curb and just letting the vehicle idle while he payed attention to Simon. “Well, if you’d like, we don’t have to go home right away. Since it’s New Year’s, most of the bars and clubs are still open. We could go drink your worries away and just try to have some fun. I think you deserve a chance to unwind.”

A small chuckle came from Simon as he shook his head. “I don’t really drink very often. I prefer to stay alert and in full control of my own senses.”

“Well, I can respect that. But it’s New Year’s, and I’ll be with you to make sure you don’t do anything stupid. Besides, after tonight you really need some time to just let loose,” Markus said with a playful smile that Simon couldn’t help but find very charming and persuasive. “If ever there was a time for you to go out drinking, now would be it.”

“I don’t know, Markus,” Simon said with a small titter.

“I do. We’re going drinking, come on.” Markus seemed to have made up Simon’s mind for him as he shifted gears and started to drive. “I know this great place too. It’s just a small bar, so there won’t be too many people to stress you out more. It’s even got a pool table and darts, so we can just get drunk and play games. It’s perfect.”

Simon just laughed and shook his head more. He couldn’t even bring himself to be upset at Markus for dragging him out to a bar after the night they’d had. Who knew, maybe being a little irresponsible really was what Simon needed right now. It did sound like it might be fun. Especially if Markus was there with him…

Markus continued to tease Simon with persuasive arguments about why they should go drinking for the rest of the car ride, and Simon pretended to protest just for the fun of joking with the other man until they got to the bar. It was, surprisingly, a place Simon had never been to before. He thought he was pretty familiar with the city of Detroit and all it’s little nooks and crannies, but Markus seemed to have found a place Simon had never been to before. The bar was hidden a bit and looked like the back door to a tattoo shop but was actually an entirely different establishment that was not connected to the other business.

“How did you find this place?” Simon asked as they stepped inside the dimly lit pub.

“Carl’s son, Leo, works at the tattoo shop on the other side of the building. Sometimes he and I will come hang out here when he’s done working,” Markus explained, leading him over to a couple empty barstools.

Simon took a seat next to Markus, looking around at the old black and white photos and license plates and vinyl records hanging on the walls. It had a quirky but cozy feel to it and Simon thought the atmosphere was pretty relaxed, which was nice. There was even an old jukebox in the corner by the pool table where a couple were laughing and dancing with each other. Simon watched the two strangers with mild interest as Markus ordered a couple of mixed drinks for them.

A few seconds later and Markus was tapping the blonde on the shoulder to get his attention back. Simon looked over and thanked the other man while taking the drink from him. After taking a sip, he looked down at the glass with a frown. He’d forgotten how much he hated the aftertaste of alcohol.

“You don’t like Moscow Mules?” Markus asked, sipping his own.

“No, it’s alright. In fact, I would like it just fine if it weren’t for the burn of the alcohol. But I suppose that kind of defeats the purpose.” Simon shrugged and took another sip. “Though, the more I drink, the less it bothers me.”

“Well, I guess you’ll have to have some more then, because you aren’t getting out of being my drinking buddy that easy.” Markus winked at Simon as he lifted his own glass to his lips.

The gesture caused a familiar heat to rise in Simon’s cheeks, as was becoming routine. He really was starting to wonder if Markus was purposefully messing with him. It was infuriating that Simon couldn’t tell if the handsome male was intentionally flirting or if he was just being his usual, charismatic, heart-throbbingly attractive self and was like this with all his friends. Resigning himself to not knowing, Simon averted his gaze and gulped down more of his drink.

“Whoa, I said drink, not guzzle!” Markus laughed, gently reaching over to push the glass down from Simon’s lips.

Simon defensively pulled the glass back out of Markus’ reach and polished off the rest of it before replying. “The faster I get drunk, the faster I stop caring about the bad taste.”

_“And hopefully I’ll stop caring that you’re breaking my heart too,”_ he thought to himself, hating how goddamned attractive Markus’s smile was as he laughed and ordered another drink for Simon.

The second the new glass was handed to him, Simon lifted it to his mouth, ready to down the whole thing as fast as possible. After all, if he was going to get drunk for the first time in years, he might as well party hard. As Markus had said earlier, it was New Year’s, and the terrible shock he’d gotten earlier that night was as good an excuse as any to get blackout hammered.

Before he could touch the glass to his lips, he felt a hand from behind come to rest on his shoulder. The sensation caused his whole body to jolt a bit and he turned his head to see a woman that he might have considered to be attractive if he were into women. She seemed far too friendly as she leaned up close to him and introduced herself.

“Hey, my name’s Kathy. I was sitting in the corner all by my lonesome when I saw you walk in. You’re pretty cute. Want to buy me a drink?”

Simon did his best not to scowl at the bold request, smiling politely instead. “As flattered as I am, I actually came here with a friend, so-“

“Well, ditch your friend and come spend some time with me. I think you’ll find me much more _friendly_ ,” she rudely interrupted, putting the hand of hers that wasn’t rubbing Simon’s shoulder on his knee.

“No thank you. You’re very pretty, but I’m not interested.” Simon hoped his voice was firm enough to get the message across, but when her hand trailed further up his leg and she pouted, he knew he was going to have to get blunt.

“Oh, come on. If you’re nice to me, I’ll even let you spend the night at my place.”

“Alright,” Simon took in a deep breath and put his hands together, raising them to his lips. “How do I put this as gently as possible?” He plastered an obviously fake smirk on his face before tilting his hands down at her condescendingly. “I’m gay.”

The confused look she gave him was really a whole new level of stupid as she replied with a lame “what?” and Simon sighed before painting her a more graphic picture

“Ok, clearly you aren’t getting this, so let me reiterate. _I would rather have a fat cock shoved up my ass than fuck your vagina._ ”

A loud sputtering sound came from beside Simon, reminding him that Markus was there as the other man broke into a coughing fit. Blush spread across Simon’s face at the sudden realization that he’d never actually had the guts to tell Markus this little tidbit of information about himself. In fact, he’d been purposefully avoiding it up until now. What had possessed him to say that in front of Markus? He’d only had one drink, right? Maybe he was more of a lightweight than he’d thought, and the alcohol was affecting him already.

“I’m sorry! Are you alright, Markus?” Simon turned away from the dumbfounded woman, ignoring her as he reached over to pat Markus on the back while he continued to choke on his drink.

More coughing came from the other man as tears streamed down his face, but he gave Simon a thumbs up and almost seemed like he would be laughing if it weren’t for the fact that he couldn’t breathe. Simon wasn’t sure if that was a comfort or if it only made his insecurity worse. Meanwhile the woman behind them seemed to have pulled out of her shock enough to start slinging insults.

“That’s disgusting! I can’t believe you’d say something that vulgar to a lady.” Simon wanted to yell back that she was the one being obvious about trying to get into his pants and all he had done was make it clear he wasn’t interested when she wouldn’t take a simple ‘no thank you’ for an answer, but he was too embarrassed to reply, so she took that as a sign to keep going. “I bet he’s not even your _friend_ , is he?” she asked, rounding on Markus now, causing Simon’s embarrassment to shift into absolute mortification. “Well? Are you gay too?”

Simon’s voice was small as he tried to get her to quit shouting. “Stop, please. You’re making a scene. Please, just leave us alo-“

“So, what if I am?” Markus’ words had Simon’s mouth falling open as he turned back to face the other man, who was still trying to stifle a few small coughs. “Just means I’ve got a better chance with him than you do.” Both Simon’s and the rude woman’s jaws hit the floor as Markus cleared his throat and threw an arm around the blonde’s shoulders. “So, if you could go be jealous somewhere else, that would be great. Bye now.”

Markus waved a dismissive hand towards her as if to sweep her away like a tiny speck of dirt on the floor. Amazingly enough, she only gave them an ugly scowl before storming off with a huffy exclamation of “perverts” as she left the bar. The door was slammed closed behind her and a few of the other patrons of the bar chuckled quietly, apparently finding the small disturbance entertaining, before going back to their drinks or game of darts.

“Markus, you didn’t have to defend me like that.” Simon ducked his head down, staring at the floor and trying very hard not to cover his face with his hands and just hide.

“No, I think you defended yourself pretty damn well without my help. But she was annoying, and I wanted her to go away,” Markus replied, still resting his arm around the blonde’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry you had to hear that,” Simon mumbled.

“It’s not your fault she was being an obnoxious-“

“No, not her. Me. I… I wasn’t ever going to tell you.” Simon couldn’t stand it anymore and finally raised his hands to cover his eyes, even if it was childish to think he could hide behind them.

“Tell me what? That you’re gay?” Markus’ arm finally slipped off of Simon’s shoulders, but his hands came to rest on them instead, turning the other man to face him. “Simon, I kind of already had my suspicions you might be.” Simon fought himself to keep from screaming into his hands, which he was still burying his face in. “I just never thought I would ever hear you say it quite like _that_.”

“Well, she wasn’t taking the hint any other way! What was I supposed to do?” Simon said defensively, finally pulling his hands away from his face.

Markus just laughed. “Hey, I’m not saying it was bad. She certainly deserved the metaphorical slap in the face. I just wasn’t expecting my shy, sweet, reserved Simon to slap so damn hard.” Markus was practically giggling like a child now as he lifted his drink off of the bar counter and took a sip.

Simon pouted, trying not to get too caught up on the possessive use of the word ‘my’ from Markus. “Well… I guess you can call it payback for the other day when you made me spill soda on your shirt at the food court in the mall,” he mumbled, taking his own drink in hand and pretty much just chugging the whole thing in one go.

Markus quickly pulled the glass out of Simon’s hands, but not quick enough to keep him from downing everything but the last few dregs at the bottom. “Touché,” he laughed, setting it down on the counter beside them. “You know, you didn’t have to hide it from me.”

“Hide what?” Simon said, his thoughts starting to feel a little fuzzy.

“Your homosexuality. I wouldn’t have judged you. I don’t have a problem with it,” Markus said with a soft smile.

“Oh… But-“ Simon bit his lip, terrified of the answer to the question he wanted to ask. “But you… you’re straight… aren’t you? Having a gay room mate would be weird for a straight person.”

“Uh, why would it be weird? Besides, I’m not straight.”

Simon’s heart might as well have stopped right then and there. He forgot how to breathe. His brain was having a hard time remembering how to function too, but that might have just been the alcohol that was getting in his system _way_ faster than he thought it should. He’d always been affected by the stuff faster than most people but come on. Two drinks? Or was it three? He couldn’t remember anymore.

“You… you’re what?” he stuttered, his words starting to slur slightly.

“I’m bisexual, Simon.” Markus smiled in a way that made Simon _feel things_ , and he really wasn’t sure the other man had any right to do that to him.

“Bisexual.” The verbalization was merely a restatement of the fact, but the look on Simon’s face was more of a question.

Markus laughed and leaned one arm on the bar counter. “That’s right. I like both men and women. Really, I just like people, doesn’t matter what’s between their legs. I can work with whatever they’ve got.”

“So, you… wouldn’t be opposed to, like… a romantic relationship with another man?” Simon struggled to find the right words, even though it should have been a fairly simple sentence.

“No, I wouldn’t be opposed to that.” Markus said, handing the blonde another drink that he didn’t remember asking for but began drinking anyways.

“Oh…” Simon felt like he should say more but his head was too wishy-washy.

He took another sip of his drink and giggled at the thought of the words ‘wishy-washy’. Markus just watched him with an amused grin. God, his smile was so beautiful. It was warm, like sunshine. And his eyes… those gorgeous mismatched eyes, green and blue like the earth itself. There was a whole world in each of those deeply intense eyes.

“What are you staring at?” Markus asked, still smiling as he leaned closer to Simon.

“Your face.” Simon was dead serious when he answered, but as soon as he realized how dumb he sounded he began to giggle again.

Markus chuckled too, taking it in stride. “Why do you like looking at my face so much?”

“I want to kiss it,” Simon answered before gasping and covering his mouth with one hand. “You weren’t supposed to know that! God, I’m so stupid.”

He cringed and covered his face with his hands again, but Markus just pulled them away and gave him that sweet smile like a warm summer day, leaning even closer. “It’s ok. You aren’t stupid,” he reassured, still holding Simon’s wrists out to the side of his face to keep him from hiding again. “You know, it’s a New Year’s tradition that you are supposed to kiss someone at midnight.”

“Mmm, but midnight already happened earlier.”

“True…” Markus frowned. “But we could pretend like it’s midnight. All we would have to do is count down from ten for the new year to start.”

“I’d feel silly doing that,” Simon pouted, wishing he could set the clock back so Markus would kiss him.

“I won’t make you do it alone. We can count together. Then it’s not silly.”

“You think it will work if we do it that way?” Simon asked, trying to keep his eyes focused on Markus, who was starting to swim in his vision just a bit. How rude of him, there wasn’t even a pool.

“Let’s try.” The way he nudged his forehead against Simon’s so sweetly made the blonde forgive him for swimming.

“Ok…” Simon mumbled, looking down at Markus’ enticing lips as they started the countdown together.

“10”

“9”

“8”

Markus pulled Simon’s wrists gently towards himself and Simon let them slip onto his shoulders and slide around behind his neck.

“7”

“6”

Markus’ own hands rested on Simon’s sides, holding him stable on the barstool.

“5”

“4”

“3”

Simon could feel Markus’ breath against his lips, and he couldn’t help but let his mouth open slightly as their lips ghosted each other so closely Simon could almost taste him.

“2”

Was this really happening or was he dreaming? Markus was so close. Simon wanted him so bad. It couldn’t be real, could it?

“1”

Their lips finally connected, and Simon’s eyes closed so he could feel the sensation of their kiss and nothing else. Markus’ mouth was so soft and warm. He was gentle and passionate all at the same time. There was just barely the feeling of tongue gliding across his own, enough that the desire was felt but so was the tenderness and vulnerability. The kiss was almost like a love letter, telling Simon that Markus wanted him back, but was still respectful enough to take it slow. Unfortunately, it was too slow for Simon because it ended all too quickly.

As Markus pulled away, Simon let out a silent whimper, wanting nothing more than to chase his lips so he could taste that sweetness again. But Markus brought one of his dusky hands up to Simon’s cheek and carefully held him back from doing so. The look of disappointment on Simon’s face must have been easy for Markus to see, because the other man smiled at him sympathetically.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you,” he whispered.

“Wha-? No.” Simon furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “You’re not taking advantage of me.”

Markus gave a barely audible chuckle and shook his head, stroking Simon’s cheek with his thumb. “I would be. You’re drunk.”

Simon’s expression hardened further at this. “I am not drunk, Murkis.” The raised eyebrow from the other man made him realize the slip up and he corrected himself. “Markus.”

“Is that a fact?” the other man smirked.

“Yes! I’m comphletely, entrilily, unqueshunbubbly sober!” Now that didn’t sound right.

“I don’t know, Simon. I have some pretty bubbly queshuns about how much you’ve been drinking,” Markus teased, making Simon scoff irritably at him. “You sure you don’t want to change your answer.”

“Maybe…” Simon muttered, fighting his own face in an attempt to make his lips pout instead of the weird half smirk they were twisting themselves into instead. “But I’ve only had two drinks. I can’t be drunk.”

“Simon, you’ve had five,” Markus corrected. “Which, admittedly, would only get me a little buzzed, but you seem to be a bit of a lightweight when it comes to alcohol.”

“What? No, that doesn’t sound right. I’m sure I only had two… three… did I have four?” Simon couldn’t remember for the life of him.

“Five, Simon. Five.”

“Well, I need another one.” Simon turned away from Markus and put his hands on the bar, waiting expectantly for another drink.

Markus just laughed and waved the barman over to order them more. Simon was secretly glad Markus wasn’t cutting him off. Because the other man was right, he was having fun and had every intention to continue doing so for as long as he could get away with it. Simon felt much better now than he had felt in that stupid bathtub, hiding from his parents. Besides, maybe if Markus kept drinking too, he could coerce another kiss out of him.


	27. Freedom of Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More drunk Simon shenanigans, just as promised. Sorry it took so long to get to writing. I got distracted with making a playlist, per the request of stockhausen. Thanks for the suggestion, I had fun with it! I linked it in the end notes for anyone interested in listening.

Simon was really something else. Despite the fact that Markus had been carefully pacing his own drinking, the other man didn’t seem to be making any effort at all to do so himself. When Markus had first suggested they go out to a bar that night, Simon’s reply had made him expect that the blonde would not indulge too much. It seemed he was mistaken.

Now Markus was doing his best to moderate Simon’s alcohol intake as well and keep him from overdoing it, but somehow the other man kept sneaking more drinks into his system. Not that Markus could be too upset. This was the most fun he’d ever seen Simon have and it was positively extraordinary how much he’d come out of his shell since getting tipsy. Markus had no idea Simon could be so bubbly and silly. He was smiling so much that Markus couldn’t even find it in himself to be mad at him as he chased Simon around the pool table, trying to get him to hand over yet another glass of alcohol he’d managed to get his hands on, despite the fact that Markus had never ordered it for him.

“Simon, give it here” Markus laughed, making an attempt to grab at the blonde, but missing as Simon giggled and darted underneath the pool table to get away from him, somehow not spilling a single drop of his drink. “Where did you even get that?” he asked, leaning down to peek under the table at Simon.

“They gave it tuh me,” Simon giggled, pointing over to a group of strangers sitting at a booth and watching with great amusement.

Several of them waved and laughed while one girl called over “We’re placing bets on if you can catch him before he gets someone else to buy him a drink!”

Markus gave them a teasingly incredulous huff before directing his faux irritation towards Simon instead. “You’ve got the whole pub betting against me when all I’m trying to do is keep you from getting a nasty hangover in the morning.”

“Boo! It’s too late for that. He’s gonna have one anyways, might as well make it worth it.” Someone else at the booth called, holding another full glass out in Simon’s direction. “Quick, before he catches you!”

Simon giggled again before quickly downing the rest of his glass and scrambling out from under the table on the other side from Markus. “Oh, no you don’t!” Markus quickly ran around to intercept him before he could get to the offered drink.

It seemed that Simon decided to change tactics, as he turned to run around the table away from Markus even though it was in the opposite direction of the beverage. The two of them ran in circles around the table a few times while the group sitting at the booth, as well as several other strangers watching from the sidelines, cheered for Simon and laughed. As they egged the giggling blonde on, Markus managed to get close enough that he could almost reach Simon, and would have been able to grab his shirt sleeve if not for the slippery dodge he made by jumping on top of the pool table and rolling across to the other side.

“You nimble little-! No fair!” Even in his frustration, Markus couldn’t help but laugh right along with everyone else as Simon laid across the far end of the table with his legs kicking back and forth in the air.

“Just a’cause the cold makes my joints lock up doesn’ mean they don’ work jus’ fine when they’re warm. I’m more agile than you thought!” Simon called across the table to Markus with a wide grin.

“Yes, I’m quite impressed with your dexterity. Now would you get off the table?” Markus smirked back.

“You hav’n seen nothin’ yet.”

Before Markus could stop him, Simon pushed himself up so he was on his hands and knees and began to crawl across the table towards him, swinging his hips back and forth provocatively in time with the music playing on the jukebox a few feet away as he moved closer. There were several whistles and hoots from the other people watching and encouraging Simon’s drunken misbehavior as the blonde reached Markus and put his hands on his shoulders.

The bronze skinned man felt his freckled cheeks grow warm as Simon leaned backwards, tugging on his shirt collar to pull Markus forward. He released his grip with just one hand, but only long enough to curl a finger to silently bid Markus to join him. Never in a million years would Markus have expected this sort of thing from Simon. He couldn’t say he disliked it though.

_“No, wait,”_ Markus thought, struggling to keep his mind where it should be.

He was supposed to be keeping Simon from doing anything stupid. He had to be the responsible one. It was difficult for Markus to tear his gaze from the seductive look in Simon’s pretty blue eyes and he had to shake his head to break the spell. Maybe Simon wasn’t the only one that was a bit tipsy. Still, Markus had a clearer head than him.

_“Focus,”_ he had to tell himself, snapping out of it.

“Simon…” It was supposed to be a gentle reprimand, but his heart wasn’t in it as much as it should have been.

“Come up here an’ dance with me, Markus.” Simon gave a soft, playful giggle that made it incredibly hard to refuse him.

Before Markus could make an attempt to stay strong and say ‘no’ in spite of the blonde’s charming, slurred invitation, Simon let go of his shirt and slowly rose to his feet, running his hands up his body and letting his hips sway back and forth. The entire bar cheered as Simon danced on the pool table quite suggestively for them. A twinge of actual irritation hit Markus, this time real, though he was sober enough to realize it wasn’t directed at Simon. He was a bit surprised with himself, but Markus knew he was feeling possessive of Simon. Seeing him put on a show for strangers, even as mild as it was, made him feel jealous.

“Alright, that’s enough. Get down.” Markus reached up and snagged Simon by the waist, pulling him to the edge of the table before lifting him down off of it.

Simon pouted at Markus but the mischievous twinkle in his eyes remained as he slid down to the floor against Markus. The blonde leaned against him, seeming a bit unsteady on his feet despite how remarkably graceful he’d been while dancing just a few moments ago. Markus kept his hands on Simon’s waist to stabilize him as a few disappointed boos came from the crowd watching and bets were exchanged now that Markus had finally caught him.

“Why did’n you dance with me?” Simon asked, wrapping his arms around Markus’ neck.

“Dancing on tables while drunk is usually advised against.” Markus smiled at the blonde, liking the way his arms felt resting against his shoulders. He’d spent so much time being afraid to touch Simon, it was a welcome change of pace to have him be the one initiating physical contact now. Markus only hoped it wouldn’t stop when he became sober again. “If you’d like to dance, we should go to a club or something.”

Markus found himself loving the way Simon’s face lit up at the idea. “Yes! Markus, you gini… jean-us… smart person!” The freckled man laughed as Simon’s arms dropped off of his shoulders so he could grab Markus’ hands and tug him towards the door of the bar. “C’mon, lez go dancin’!”

“Alright, hold on.”

Markus pulled Simon back and made him wait impatiently as he closed their tab and paid for the drinks. The bar tender made a comment about bringing Simon back some time because he was good for business and Markus wasn’t sure if he should laugh or throw the man a dirty look, but went ahead and waved good bye along with Simon while everyone they’d been entertaining that night shouted at them to have a good time together as they left the bar.

Simon headed straight for Markus’ car in the parking lot, but Markus had to pull him back from pulling on the locked door handle. The motion caused Simon to stumble backwards against Markus, who simply wrapped his arms around the other man’s middle to hold him steady. Markus smiled down at Simon, who tilted his head up from his awkward stance to throw him a confused glance.

“No drunk driving, Simon,” Markus reminded, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone.

“How’re we goin’ to get to th’ club then?” Simon asked, reaching backwards to clutch at Markus’ upper arms in order to keep balanced.

“There’s one a couple blocks down, we can walk that far.”

Markus ignored the raspberry Simon blew at him as a response in favor of focusing on texting Leo. He sent a message asking him to take a cab and stop by his apartment in the morning so he could pick up Markus’ keys before going to work. That way he could drive his car back to Markus at the end of his shift. It would also give him an opportunity to introduce Leo to Simon.

After he pressed the send button, he helped Simon return to a proper standing position and the two of them started walking towards the club Markus had mentioned. “Markuuuuuussss. It’s cold,” Simon whined as they crossed the street. “If my hips lock up a’fore we get there, I won’ be able to dance with you.”

“Well, we can’t have that.” Markus smirked and sped up to cross in front of Simon and face him. “I’m nice and warm if you want me to carry you,” he added, pulling the other man closer to him.

Simon bit his lip shyly, but there was a smile around the gesture. “You makin’ a habit outta caryin’ me?”

“I kind of like being close to you,” Markus admitted.

Now that he seemed to be allowed to touch Simon without it upsetting him, he couldn’t seem to get enough. When he’d first met the beautiful man, he’d been drawn to him, but it wasn’t really until tonight that he finally figured out that the attraction he was feeling was more than just wanting Simon to be his muse. Looking back, he felt stupid that he hadn’t been able to put a label to those feelings before. Really, he just hadn’t been trying hard enough. He was too busy enjoying Simon to want to put an official name on what he felt for him. But now he was absolutely sure of what he wanted.

“I s’pose I’ll let you carry me.” Simon spoke as if trying to pretend he was reluctant about the idea, but the way he practically jumped into Markus’ arms said otherwise.

Markus caught him easily, shifting him a little higher up as he held onto the legs that were now wrapped around him. “Warmer?” he asked with a wide grin.

“Your body heat’s nice,” Simon giggled, nodding his head and snuggling into Markus as he carried him down the sidewalk towards their destination.

It didn’t take long for them to reach a short line of people waiting to get in the club. The night was bleeding far enough into the early morning that the place would probably be closing in only an hour or two, so not many people were only just getting there. But Simon and Markus happened to be a part of the small few who were.

At the entrance, a large bouncer eyed Simon suspiciously, probably able to tell that he was already pretty drunk by the way the blonde clung to Markus and giggled at every stupid joke he made. Luckily, the doorman seemed to realize that, despite how intoxicated Simon was, he was utterly and completely harmless, so let them both through without stopping them. Once inside, Markus let Simon slide down off of him to stand on his own two feet.

The atmosphere here was a contrast to the bar they’d come from. Music with a heavy beat but light tones blasted at full volume and the lighting flashed from neon blue to near complete darkness by the strobe lights lining the dance floor. A few laser lights flashed in random directions, casting lines of purple and pink all around the bodies packed tightly into the club. There were definitely more people here than there had been at the bar.

Markus glanced over at Simon to make sure he was alright, not wanting to overwhelm the shy man. His concern seemed unfounded though, because Simon grinned in excitement before grabbing Markus’ hand and eagerly pulling him towards the dance floor. Markus followed him over without any resistance and soon the two of them joined the pulsating mass of dancing strangers.

There were so many people, Markus might have been worried he would lose Simon in the crowd, except that there was hardly a moment that the blonde’s hands weren’t on him. Simon danced so close that he was practically rubbing himself against Markus. There was no complaint from him though, as he was thoroughly enjoying the contact with the other man.

He had no idea Simon could dance like this. When he’d joked that the kids wouldn’t be able to handle Simon dancing earlier that night, he hadn’t realized there was so much truth to what he’d said. There was no way children that age should see the sensual way Simon rolled his hips against Markus’ own in rhythm with the booming bass. Markus was entirely impressed with Simon’s agility now. He could see, and _feel,_ how graceful the other man’s smooth, fluid movements were. It made Markus wonder if Simon had ever taken dancing classes, because there was no way his motions hadn’t been well practiced with how naturally they seemed to come to him. The blonde was just full of surprises, it seemed.

“Where did you learn to dance?” Markus shouted over the top of the deafening music.

Simon grinned while running his tongue over his teeth in a way that made Markus struggle to maintain composure before replying without answering the question. “Do you like th’ way I dance?”

Markus just wanted to blurt out an enthusiastic ‘yes’ because he was definitely enjoying the way the other man moved, but made an attempt to be more suave while flirting back. “I may have been impressed with how you moved back at the bar before, but now I’m completely fascinated with the motion of your body.”

He had leaned in closer, his mouth right next to Simon’s ear so he could hear the more intimate volume of his voice as he braved letting his own hands run up and down Simon’s arms and shoulders the same way he’d done to Markus just a moment ago. The way his body responded to the touch told Markus that Simon was enjoying the contact just as much as he was. Simon arched his back, pressing himself closer to Markus as they both stepped to the beat.

They continued to dance together like this for several songs that bled one into another before Markus had the feeling that both of them were overheating. Whether it was because of the mess of bodies being crowded too close under the dance floor lights or had something more to do with the sensual way they were dancing with each other, Markus wasn’t sure. It probably was a little bit of both.

Markus guided Simon to the edge of the dance floor before they finally broke free of the other writhing bodies. He pulled the other man to a sofa that was tucked a bit out of the way in a corner of the club and they both clumsily stumbled into it. As Markus fell backwards against the cushions, still holding Simon by the hands, the other man tripped and landed on top of him. They both only giggled as they shifted to get a little more comfortable, but Simon didn’t leave Markus’ lap.

“Are you having fun?” Markus asked, feeling his cheeks starting to hurt because he’d been unable to stop smiling since they got there.

“I think this’s the best night of my life,” Simon answered with the most adorable laugh Markus had ever heard.

“I never would have imagined you could move like that,” Markus said, admittedly not expecting someone with joint problems and slight scoliosis to be so damn graceful and… flexible. “You’ve been gifting me with pleasant surprises non-stop since the moment I first met you.”

“Well, I’m glad I give you pleasn’d s’prises. Lately all the s’prises I been getting are jus’ awful.” Simon pouted but wasn’t able to hold the expression for long before breaking into a fit of giggles again.

Markus could only assume he was talking about earlier that night when he’d found out he had a little sister and saw his parents again for the first time in what must have been years. He gave the blonde a sympathetic look, reaching up and cupping his face in one hand. Simon leaned into the touch without any reservations and Markus felt his heart flutter in his chest underneath the other man’s hands.

“You can worry about those less pleasant surprises later. Tonight, I want you to be happy,” he said, stroking Simon’s cheek with his thumb.

Simon hummed a single, content note and smiled. “I am happy.”

He might as well of told Markus he’d won the lottery and was a millionaire now, because Simon’s joy made him feel like the wealthiest man in the world. Heaven knew he put far more value on it than all the treasure in the world. And oh, how Markus treasured Simon.

They spent the next forty-five minutes enjoying each other’s company, ordering a few shots and laughing loudly when Simon made faces at how gross they tasted. When Markus told him the expressions he pulled looked hilarious, the blonde playfully punched him in the arm but giggled bashfully after Markus assured him his funny faces were cute. Gradually the dance floor emptied, and the servers started cleaning off tables, signaling that the club was shutting down for the night. Markus paid their tab before the two of them headed back out onto the cold Detroit streets.

By now, both of them were struggling to walk straight, but Markus was a bit more stable on his feet than Simon, so helped support him as they stumbled down the sidewalk. “Should-“ Markus stopped to chuckle as Simon slipped on a patch of ice and he had to catch the blonde. “Should I call us a cab?”

“Noyet.” Simon slurred the words together into one and gripped onto Markus’ shoulders for dear life. “Iwanna walk a bit an’ le’ th’cold air sober meeup.”

Markus laughed again, finding the way Simon was talking to be quite comical but glad he could still understand him just fine for the most part. “Alright, let’s walk for a bit then.”

The two of them bumped against each other clumsily, hanging off of each other and giggling stupidly at nothing in particular. Markus was just finding the random hiccups from Simon to be too adorable not to laugh at and Simon joined in with a chuckle every time Markus did. Neither of them were even really paying attention to where they were going. They had each other and that was all that mattered. It was only when Simon glanced around that Markus decided to pay a bit more attention to their surroundings as well.

“Hey, th’swhere tha’ jerk tha’ groped Northworks.” This time it was a bit harder for Markus to catch what Simon had said.

“What?” he asked a bit dumbly.

“Ocifer Gav’n Reed.” It was as if Simon was speaking in tongues now, because Markus couldn’t for the life of him make out any words and just stared at the other man with furrowed eyebrows.

Simon pointed at the building they were stumbling towards and Markus squinted his eyes to read a plaque over the doors that said, ‘Detroit Police Department’. “Oh, that’s just the police station, Simon,” he said dismissively, but Simon shook his head.

“I’mma go inther an’ kick’is ass.”

This time Markus caught at least enough of the sentence to realize Simon had intentions of kicking someone’s ass. A bit alarmed by this, he reached out to grab Simon’s shoulder and stop him as the blonde made to move towards the doors of the police station. Pulling Simon back fast enough that they both stumbled backwards, the two of them ended up tumbling ungracefully against the side of a car that was parked by the curb. Luckily, the alarm didn’t go off as it braced their fall and Markus held Simon tightly around the waist to keep him from doing something that could only be incredibly stupid.

“Leggo! Th’jerk d’servs it,” Simon exclaimed in garbled speech as he struggled a bit pathetically against Markus’ hold on him.

Markus flipped Simon so he was the one against the car and pushed him down on it, making sure that the blonde couldn’t escape to go carry out his foolish endeavor. “Simon, you’re not kicking anyone’s ass. Especially not a cop’s. That’s the kind of stupid drunk thing I promised _not_ to let you do.”

“But…” Simon pouted up at him with large, unfairly pretty, blue eyes.

“Not happening, Simon,” Markus said firmly, staring down at the blonde draped across the hood of the car with his wrists held tightly on either side of his head by Markus’ own hands.

The two of them glared at each other in some sort of wordless argument for several minutes. Markus wasn’t sure if the tension was coming from their disagreement or if it was purely sexual as he leaned against Simon to keep him pinned. Their faces were so close Markus could easily kiss him if he wanted to. And the more he stared down at him the more he wanted to. But he’d promised himself he would wait until Simon was sober before doing that again.

But he looked so attractive underneath Markus. He could really get used to seeing Simon from this perspective. The beautiful man seemed to be having similar thoughts, as he was no longer struggling, and Markus could swear there was something hard pressing against him that was definitely not Simon’s leg. Sadly, he never got to find out for sure exactly what Simon was thinking about, as a gruff male voice from behind startled both of them from their thoughts.

“The fuck are you two pricks doing on my car?”


	28. A Promise to Cherish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Depression sucks. I'm sorry this took longer than expected. Hopefully it's worth the wait.

Markus’ train of thought completely derailed at the sound of the rough voice behind him. Granted, he wasn’t exactly on stable tracks to begin with, but for a moment he forgot Simon to turn and see who was speaking so irritably at them. A very grumpy looking middle-aged man with long gray hair tied back in a loose bun frowned back at the two men who were, apparently, leaning against his car. The badge he wore told Markus that he was a police officer, which immediately had the tipsy man starting to stutter out an apology.

“I’m so sorry, Offi-“

“Hank!” Simon’s giddy exclamation caught Markus off guard, and he looked back down at the blonde to see him craning his neck around Markus to greet the policeman. “Iss’me, Simon! You ‘member me, don’ you?”

“You know him?” Markus interrupted at the very same time that the officer let out a displeased groan.

“Not you again.” The policeman took a few steps closer and scowled down at Simon, who simply gave a friendly but uncoordinated wave from underneath Markus.

“M’ glad I bumped int’you. I need’ur help. Izabout North…. An’ Chloe an’ Traci… Oh, an’ Rubbert.” As he spoke near gibberish, Simon pointed all over the place and gestured lazily with his hands, as if he were having a hard time controlling the movements.

The officer simply looked at him with a flat expression for a few seconds before replying. “You’re drunk out of your mind,” he said before turning to Markus and jabbing a thumb in Simon’s direction. “You understand a word of that?”

“Uh… Not really.” Markus understood enough to know Simon wanted help with something, but he wasn’t sure it was a good idea to bother the cop about whatever it was. Simon was too drunk to be thinking straight and whatever he wanted might just turn out to be something stupid that would get them in trouble. So, instead of trying to translate for Simon, he changed the subject to something that was bothering him instead. “Can I ask how you two know each other?”

He sincerely hoped that Simon’s friendly demeanor towards the cop was an indicator that they were just friends. Perhaps the officer had helped Simon out at the shelter or something. The older man didn’t seem so happy to see the blonde, but maybe that was just because he was so obviously inebriated. Markus couldn’t imagine Simon being the type of person that would be a public nuisance or criminal of any kind, but because he still didn’t know the other man very well, he couldn’t help but have the worried thought, _“please don’t be in trouble with the law, Simon.”_

“I brought him in for questioning a week ago.” The cop’s words were not at all comforting and Markus felt his heart drop.

“You do ‘member me!” Simon threw his arms up in the air to celebrate before letting them fall back down above his head and rest across the hood of the car Markus still had him pinned to.

The policeman eyed Simon with a thoughtful look before speaking in a slightly more tactful tone. “Yeah, I remember you. How’s your friend doing now that she’s back out? Still mad at you?”

“Pshh. North’s always madat sumthin’,” Simon said, waving a dismissive hand in the air.

Markus took special note of the name North. It was the same name Simon had called out in his sleep when he’d been having a nightmare a couple days ago. Although Markus was quite curious to learn who this North person was, he was also a bit suspicious of the way the cop’s tone had changed. The dusky skinned man may be a bit tipsy, but he wasn’t as oblivious as Simon was. Markus could tell that the police officer was trying to get information out of the other man and wasn’t so sure that was a good thing. He wanted to protect Simon, but without knowing what exactly was going on, all he could do was keep quiet and observe for the time being.

“Have you been keeping her out of trouble? We already had to arrest her once, I’d hate for us to have to do it again,” the cop said, leaning against the side of his car and folding his arms as he looked down at Simon.

“Tha’s what I need’ur help with.” Simon abruptly pushed himself off of the car, causing a dizzy spell in the process and stumbling against Markus, who stepped back to let him up and caught his waist to hold him steady. The blonde’s attention was still focused on the policeman and his tone had shifted to be more serious as he blinked rapidly to try and regain his equilibrium. “We did’n wanna do it. None’v us ever wannidit. Zla’ko forced us! S’not our fault.”

The cop narrowed his eyes at Simon, considering his slurred words for a moment before nodding his head slowly. “I believe you. Your friend mentioned this Zlatko person before when she was yelling at you. Who is he?”

Markus looked back and forth between the two of them, still struggling to understand their conversation. His eyes settled on Simon, not liking the uneasy expression that suddenly overtook his handsome features as the blonde gripped Markus’ arms tighter. He had a feeling it was less for stability and more for comfort now.

Simon’s voice had grown weak as he answered. “H-he… he recruit’zus an’ makes us work for’im. He targets desp’rate peeble, an’ then when we try’n change our mindsor run, he hurts us. He… he hurts us really bad. You haf’ta help me stop’im an’ save my frien’s.”

The fear in Simon’s tone broke Markus’ heart. It frustrated him that he didn’t know who this man was or how he had hurt Simon. What exactly had he forced Simon to do? Markus almost didn’t want to know.

“He sounds like a real sick bastard,” the cop said with distaste before sighing. “Look, I want to help you, but two things are stopping me. One, I just clocked off for the night and I’m officially off duty. If I ain’t getting paid for this shit, I ain’t gonna work on it in my free time. Two, I need you to be sober when we talk about this. Anything you tell me while drunk can’t really be used to launch an investigation. So, here’s what we're gonna do…”

The cop pushed himself off the car and took a step towards Simon, tapping the man’s chest pointedly with a firm finger. “I’m gonna drive your hammered ass home. Since Connor told me he already gave you my card, tomorrow you’re gonna give me a call after you’ve slept it off.” He then rounded on Markus. “And you.” A rigid finger pointed close enough to Markus’ face that it caused the man’s dual-colored eyes to cross momentarily. “You seem at least a _little_ less sloshed. Since this idiot is so stupidly plastered he can’t even stand up straight, he likely won’t remember a word of this by morning. You’re gonna make sure he follows through with that phone call. Got it?”

“Erm, yes, sir.” Markus was at least grateful that they weren’t getting arrested for pissing the guy off. Thank goodness he was off duty and didn’t want to bother, otherwise Markus had the feeling he might have been more inclined to slap the cuffs on them for public intoxication.

“Ah, Jesus. Don’t ‘sir’ me. Now get in and tell me where I’m taking you two pricks,” the officer ordered, making his way to the driver’s side of the car and pulling his keys out of a pocket.

Markus gave him the address to their apartment building as Simon happily climbed into the passenger side, seeming to have easily recovered his cheerful mood. “Thanks for’th ride, Hank,” the blonde giggled, reaching back to pull the seatbelt over his shoulder but pausing when he noticed Markus climbing into the back seat alone. “Wait! Don’ start th’ car! I wanna sit nextuh Markus,” he yelled rather loudly, flinging himself back out of the car and scrambling back to his feet after he fell to his knees on the sidewalk.

Hank (Markus hoped Simon had the name right, though it could be anyone’s guess with how drunk he was) turned his head to watch as Simon didn’t wait for Markus to scoot over and instead climbed over the top of him to get to the other side and sit next to him in the back. The cop’s expression showed visible impatience as the blonde clumsily adjusted his position until he was sitting properly in the seat beside Markus and had his seatbelt on. Markus clicked his own into place, feeling a bit of secondhand embarrassment for the poor drunk man, but it seemed Simon was unbothered as he wrapped his arms around one of Markus’ and smiled contently.

“A’right, iz’safe tuh go now.”

“Thank Christ.” Hank rolled his eyes before putting the key in the ignition and starting towards their destination.

Markus noticed the officer casting him odd glances in the rearview mirror every now and then but wasn’t quite sure what to say. He was still trying to piece together the conversation Hank and Simon had held and figure out what it all meant. The buzz he was still feeling from drinking all night with Simon was making the task a bit difficult though. Asking Simon directly seemed like it would only confuse him more at the moment, and it didn’t even occur to him to ask Hank.

Instead the older man decided to ask Markus some questions of his own. “What exactly is your relationship to him?”

The blonde didn’t let Markus reply, jumping in to answer the question himself. “Markus an’ I live t’gether now! He le’me stay with him so I dun haf’ta be homeless ‘nymore.”

“Really?” Hank cast another odd glance at Markus through the mirror before returning his eyes to the road. “You told me in the interrogation room that you’ve been staying at a shelter.”

“I wuz b’fore.”

“He only moved in with me a little less than a week ago,” Markus elaborated.

“So it’s a recent development,” Hank confirmed.

Simon nodded his head before resting it against Markus’ shoulder and gripping his arm more tightly like a teddy bear. “He didn’ even know me real well an’ he still offer’d me a home so Ican finally feel safe. Is’n he wonderful?”

Markus smiled weakly at Simon, reaching his free hand across himself to touch the other man gently. It was true he didn’t know Simon very well, and that had become more apparent than ever after tonight. Suddenly he found himself having some concerns regarding this.

Hank seemed to pick up on the nervous look in Markus’ eyes. “Huh. You let a stranger move in with you? Bet you’re having some second thoughts about that now.”

Simon raised his head off of Markus’ shoulder, suddenly looking at Hank with an alarmed expression before turning to stare at the bronze skinned man with such pleading anxiety clouding his crystal blue irisis that Markus thought his heart might shatter into a million pieces. Markus gripped the beautiful man’s hand tighter to reassure him. He had promised to let Simon stay with him unconditionally, and despite his concerns, he intended to keep that promise. It took less than a second for him to turn to Hank and immediately counter his words.

“No. I haven’t changed my mind at all about letting Simon live with me. So what if I don’t know everything about him yet? I’ve got plenty of time to spend with him. He’ll let me know everything I need to when he’s ready.” Markus spoke with a firm confidence to Hank, but when he turned to look back at Simon, there was a bit of insecurity in his eyes. “Won’t you, Simon?”

Simon blinked at him, still looking a bit shocked for a moment before he nodded his head slightly and gave Markus a small, soft smile. “I prom’sed t’let you in… so we’re not ‘lone anymore,” he said quietly.

That was good enough for Markus. He gave Simon a relieved smile before the blonde returned to resting his head on Markus’ shoulder. When Markus looked back at the rearview mirror, Hanks’ eyes briefly met his own in an expression that was difficult to read. It almost looked like… pride? Approval? Maybe he was impressed. Markus wasn’t sure he should care what the officer thought, but part of him hoped Hank wasn’t as cold hearted as his crotchety, rude façade suggested. 

A few more minutes passed in silence and Markus took to staring out the window and absentmindedly running his hand through Simon’s hair. He knew Simon wasn’t exactly clear-headed enough to fill him in on whoever North and Zlatko or the other people he’d mentioned were, or what exactly the whole situation with that and the law was about. At least not at the moment. But he had faith Simon would let him know soon. He had promised.

Markus still couldn’t help but wonder about it though, as he watched a few small white flakes fall outside the window. The weather was making a half-hearted attempt to snow outside, but it didn’t seem to want to pick up too much. A soft, ragged sigh sounded from close beside him and Markus turned to look down at the beautiful man resting on his shoulder. It seemed Simon had dozed off and was sleeping soundly against him. Even with his pretty eyes closed, he still looked just like an angel to Markus.

“You care about him a lot, don’t you?” Hank asked in a more hushed tone, stirring Markus out of his thoughts. “I mean, the way you look at him… he’s more than just a friend to you.”

It took a moment for Markus to reply. It was true that he cared deeply for Simon, and certainly wanted them to become more than friends. But he wasn’t sure if Simon was ready for that yet. Markus was aware of how overwhelming he could be for the blonde. Simon had already shown clear signs of being nervous with how fast Markus was pushing their relationship. Even though he’d let Markus kiss him earlier that night, Simon had already downed plenty of drinks and hadn’t been capable of using his better judgement at the time. When Simon was sober, he was much more reserved, and it was so easy to spook him.

Despite his fears, Markus couldn’t deny his feelings for Simon. “Even though we only met a few days ago, and I know it’s crazy… I think I love him.” Markus watched with tenderness in his eyes as the lovely man slept peacefully on his shoulder. “I’ve always been a bit of a hopeless romantic. But when I’m with him, I feel… complete. I’ve never felt quite like that with anyone else.”

A jaded sigh sounded from Hank, causing Markus to tear his gaze away from Simon’s angelic face and look back into the rearview mirror. “Look… I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I think you ought’a know.” Hank pulled the car over on the side of the street and turned in his seat to face Markus with a defeated frown. “That North girl he was talking about, she’s a prostitute.”

Markus stared in shocked disbelief as Hank gave another sad sigh and continued. “We busted her in a sting and when she ran, we found her asking your friend here for help. It looked suspicious so we brought both of them in. We weren’t able to find anything concrete on Simon, but… well, it’s pretty safe to assume that he’s a prostitute too. Or, at least, he was one for a long time.”

Markus looked back at Simon, who was still fast asleep, before shaking his head and returning his gaze to Hank. “No, not Simon. He won’t even let anyone touch him without…” He faltered as he thought about it more.

He was afraid of being touched. He’d said that the man he worked for before had forced him to do bad things. He was so shy and quiet, and so easily flustered, and now Markus was beginning to realize it was because he was sensitive to anything of a suggestive nature. It was only when he was drunk that he was able to numb himself enough to it that he stopped caring. When he didn’t care anymore, he behaved exactly how he’d been taught to when he was a prostitute, because it was all he knew, and when he was drunk, he didn’t have the self-control to try and hide it.

How many times in the past had Simon flirted and danced with strangers the same way he had with Markus that very night? How many of those strangers took him to some cheap hotel afterwards and used him up before tossing him aside like trash and leaving a wad of crumpled up cash on the dresser as if that made it ok? How long had Simon had to suffer through that kind of life, powerless to escape it for fear that the man controlling him would do something so horrible that even Simon thought it would be worse than the hell he was already going through?

The realization hit Markus like a train. No wonder Simon had never told him about his past.

“I’m sorry,” Hank said quietly, bringing Markus back to the present. He really did sound sincere. It was only a shame it didn’t make it any easier to hear.

“Do you know how long it’s been since he escaped?” Markus voice was hoarse, and only just loud enough that Hank could hear him.

“We couldn’t find out for sure, but the way his friend, North, talked and the rough timeline we were able to piece together indicates he probably got away from this Zlatko guy about two years ago,” Hank answered. “A little less than that, since we think it happened in February.”

Markus furrowed his eyebrows as his mind tried to grasp at some memory but failed to conjure up anything more than a surreal feeling. He was still too buzzed to bother focusing on it, more concerned with the next question he had.

“How did he get away?”

“We dunno for sure but… we think he might have faked his own death. Honestly though, I don’t think he planned it.” Markus’ eyebrows knitted together when Hank added, “Let’s just say he’s lucky to still be alive.”

As Markus tried to draw in a deep breath, it stuttered in his lungs and he felt his eyes stinging with tears that threatened to fall. He blinked them back and shook his head again, unsure of if he were trying to clear it or if he was simply hoping that the action could somehow change Simon’s past by sheer force of will. More than anything, he wanted to take away the beautiful man’s suffering and protect him from ever having to go through anything like it again.

Hank sighed again before turning back around in his seat to face the front windshield. “I know it’s not what you wanted to hear. I wouldn’t want to believe it either if I had fallen in love with someone only to find out they weren’t who I thought they were.”

“No.” Markus said the word firmly, catching Hanks’ surprised gaze in the mirror again and giving him a determined stare. “What Simon went through doesn’t change who he is as a person, and I still love that person. I don’t blame him for what happened to him. He came to you because he wants to help his friends. The one’s that are still suffering the way he did. If that doesn’t prove that he’s exactly the same, beautiful person I always thought he was, then I don’t know what does.”

Markus continued to hold a level, but intense, glare with Hank, who could only stare back in shock for several long seconds before finally letting out an amused huff and smiling with that same expression Markus had struggled to identify before. “Maybe you’re right. I guess we’ll find out later when you make sure he calls me.” Hank nodded his head towards the window closest to him and it was only then that Markus realized they were parked outside the apartment building he and Simon lived in. “Until then, you better get some sleep too. Both of you idiots are gonna be nursing some nasty fucking hangovers in a few hours.” He smirked before adding, “don’t worry. I don’t expect the call to happen anywhere near morning hours.”

The hard expression Markus had held before suddenly gave way to exhaustion and he nodded his head towards Hank in appreciation. Without a word, he unbuckled both himself and Simon and scooped the blonde up in his arms. Luckily, Simon seemed to be sleeping quite heavily and did not wake as Markus shifted his limp body around. Finally, Markus got Simon into a position where he could carry him bridal style, though his limbs hung like deadweight and his head rolled back so Markus had to be careful not to hit it on the doorframe on the way out of the car.

Once outside, Markus nodded at Hank through the window again. The officer simply gave a lazy, two fingered wave before driving off. Markus carried Simon inside the building and to their unit, managing to get him into bed without waking the blonde from his deep slumber.

Struggling to stay awake himself, Markus managed to meander into the kitchen and snag a couple bottles of water before returning to Simon’s room. He intended to leave one for Simon, then return to his own room with the other, knowing they would both need it when they woke up. However, the second water bottle never made it to Markus’ room. Neither did Markus. He passed out on the mattress next to Simon before he could make it to his own bed.


	29. Dead and Refusing to Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, um... This is a horribly angsty chapter and shit hits the fan. Again. I know you all wanted fluff where Markus nurses Simon's hangover and they take good care of each other and it's all sweet and lovely but... By now you should all know that's not the kind of luck Simon has most of the time. I'm sorry. T_T

The dark, pleasant nothingness slowly gave way to a pain in his temples that started off as a dull discomfort, but gradually turned into a sharp, throbbing headache. Simon didn’t even bother opening his eyes as he felt his consciousness struggling to wake him up. He didn’t want to be awake. He very much wanted to just sleep for the next ten thousand years, completely undisturbed by anyone or anything. But the more his head pounded the less likely it seemed he would be able to remain asleep. He felt cold too.

Simon let out a frustrated whine, still keeping his eyes shut tightly as he curled into the closest source of warmth he could find. He reached out blindly before grasping onto something that felt like it could chase away the chill. Wrapping his arms and legs around the object tightly, Simon wasn’t entirely sure what it was he was snuggling into, but it was warm and exceptionally comfortable, so he didn’t much care.

Until it wrapped itself around him too. Then he became a bit concerned.

He furrowed his brows and attempted to open one of his eyes, but the tiny sliver of what seemed like blinding light that came through was enough to make him feel like someone had jabbed a needle in his pupil, so he quickly abandoned the idea of trying to get a look at his surroundings. It took a moment for Simon to process that it was a pair of hands lazily pulling him closer to the heat source. Then a few more seconds of confusion went by as his pain riddled brain struggled to process that those hands were attached to a body and it was, indeed, another person that was cuddled against him and keeping him warm.

The expression on Simon’s face hardened further as he started to feel the beginnings of panic rising up from within, though he was still too groggy and disoriented for it to manifest completely. It was more like an unpleasant weight settling in his chest and an unidentifiable scratching at the back of his mind. That, coupled with the headache, made him let out another irritated sound as he absentmindedly squeezed his legs tighter around whoever he was clinging to.

The question of who his personal space heater turned out to be was answered as a disgruntled noise similar to Simon’s own echoed back, only in Markus’ voice. “Hold still, I’m not ready to wake up yet.” The words were muffled against Simon’s chest as Markus buried his face into him and firmly pulled the blonde man closer.

Finally, Simon’s brain caught up with the moment, though it skipped an awful lot to get there. The full force of his panic broke through the fog that had been holding it back before and his eyes shot open. He instantly regretted it, as even the small amount of light filtering into his room from the closed blinds was enough to make his head feel like it had been split open like a watermelon being dropped down onto the pavement from the roof of a two story building.

Simon let out a pained groan as he reached a hand up to grip the side of his head. The motion caused Markus to unbury his face from the folds of Simon’s jacket to squint up at him with tired concern. After a few ragged, deep breaths, Simon looked back at him with wide blue eyes that blinked rapidly.

“Wha- Why are you- How did we get here?” Simon asked, frantically looking around the room and at least finding some comfort in the familiarity of it being the bedroom Markus had given him. “What happened?”

It took Markus a bit to respond, as he seemed to be struggling to fully wake up just as much as Simon. “Uh… Oh. Sorry, I guess I crashed before I could make it to my bed. I had to carry you in here,” he said rather casually.

While Markus rubbed some of the sleep from his eyes with one hand, his other remained on the small of Simon’s back as if it belonged there and it was perfectly acceptable for him to be pressing the blonde’s body up against his. Never mind that Simon was the one to initiate it. He hadn’t realized what he was doing at the time.

Usually Markus was so careful not to touch him. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by Simon and he had appreciated the effort, finding it quite sweet how considerate the other man was. But now it was like all of that had gone out the window and Simon didn’t know what had changed or why. He wasn’t entirely sure he was ok with it.

“C-carry? You had to carry me?” Simon stuttered, attempting to sit up and get away from Markus.

The other man frowned, pushing himself up to lean against the headboard of the bed and grabbing Simon by the waist to hold him on his lap. Simon was too shocked and too dizzy to fight against him. A wave of nausea hit him the instant he raised his head off the pillow, so Simon simply sat on Markus’ legs as he tried to stop the world from spinning. Unable to help himself, he reached out and grabbed Markus by the shoulders, gripping onto him for dear life and feeling like he was on a rollercoaster as he swallowed hard and squeezed his eyes shut to keep from throwing up.

“Whoa. Take it easy, Simon,” Markus said with gentle worry in his tone. Simon felt extremely conflicted by the way Markus rubbed his thumbs against his sides soothingly while holding him in place. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I- The bathtub. And crying. My parents. Oh, God, my parents. And Emma… No, wait, Alice. We tucked her in and told her a story and… You… In the hallway…” Simon struggled to piece everything together. It was like the memories had been thrown in a box like a bunch of puzzle pieces and shaken around before being scattered across a table, all out of order. “Oh, no! Todd! Kara’s ex-husband sent her a text he wasn’t supposed to.”

As this part came back to him, Simon opened his eyes and felt his heart jump into his throat, but Markus ran his hands up and down the blonde’s sides and calmly reassured him. “It’s alright, nothing ever came of it. Kara and Luther got home alright and Alice was perfectly safe by the time we left.”

A relieved huff of air pushed out of Simon’s lungs, though it was still a bit shaky due to the way Markus was touching him. It was comforting and helped to ground him, which was good. But at the same time, it was awfully familiar and intimate, which made Simon feel quite uneasy. To make it worse, Simon couldn’t help but find the sensation pleasurable. He had been touch-starved for so long that he was hypersensitive and even though there was nothing inherently sexual about Markus trying to console him with the touch… Well, he was feeling a bit hot and tingly now. At least he wasn’t cold anymore.

He needed to focus. Specifically, on their conversation. But also, on _anything_ _but_ the physical contact.

“O-oh. Yes, that’s right. We left but… We didn’t go straight home, did we?” This is where the puzzle pieces started to get a little soggy and the image on them began to fade.

“No. You said you had too much on your mind to sleep, so I suggested we go to a bar and try to de-stress with a few drinks,” Markus remined.

Simon vaguely remembered that and nodded his head with a bit of uncertainty. “I… I can’t remember where we went. Something about tattoos…” he mumbled before jolting in Markus’ lap. “Oh, no! I didn’t get a tattoo, did I?”

He knew he had an unfortunate tendency to become a wild child when drunk. It’s why he didn’t let himself get that way very often. He always did things he regretted later. Simon wouldn’t put it past his drunken self to get a tattoo on a whim. Probably something very tacky and cringe-worthy. The way Markus burst into laughter not only made Simon’s headache worse, but also made him more afraid that he’d actually gone and tattooed his ass with that rude little peeing cartoon character that was sometimes seen as a distasteful bumper sticker on the back of big trucks. Thankfully, Markus stopped laughing long enough to reassure him that this wasn’t actually the case.

“No, don’t worry, Simon. You didn’t get a tattoo. I wouldn’t have let you do something that stupid while drunk. The bar we went to was just located behind the tattoo parlor Carl’s son works at,” he explained.

“Oh, thank God.”

Simon clutched at his chest and let his aching head hang down as he allowed himself to relax. Somehow, he felt both lightheaded and like his cranium was too heavy for his neck to hold up at the same time. But the uncharacteristically timid voice of Markus forced him to look back up at the other man.

“Do you remember anything else?” he asked.

Simon stared through Markus with a glassy, glazed over look in his eyes as he struggled to force his pounding brain to recall anything that happened after arriving at the pub. A few blurry images swam weakly around his thoughts; A jukebox and a pool table. A glass of some kind of mixed drink being placed in front of him at the bar. Some woman he didn’t recognize standing too close to him. Intense heterochromatic eyes and a warm smile that pulled him in like a helpless moth to a flame.

“N-no.” Simon blinked a few times, feeling his heart ache at the blurry, fragmented memory, and unable to bring back anything more. “I can’t remember.”

The look on Markus’ face didn’t help the heartache in Simon’s chest and only confused him further. He looked so disappointed, like Simon’s memory loss had shattered all his hopes and dreams. Had something significant happened? It must have been important to Markus, because he looked absolutely crushed.

Simon hesitated to ask, almost afraid of the answer. “What happened?” he finally whispered.

“You… We-“ Markus was cut off as the obnoxious sound of someone pounding on the apartment door made them both grimace and grip at their heads in agony.

“Yo, Markus! You in there? I got your text. I’m here to pick up the keys from your sorry, hungover ass so I can bring your car back to you when I get off work later, just like you asked.” The oddly familiar voice called through the wall impatiently.

A few curse words were muttered under Markus’ breath as he gently prompted Simon to move so he could get up. Quick to slide off of him, Simon watched from the bed as Markus stood up and shuffled towards the bedroom door. He wasn’t sure if he should follow the other man out into the hallway or stay put. Eventually he decided to follow, though made no attempt to hurry. Even with slow baby steps, Simon had to pause in the entryway of his bedroom and lean against the doorframe as another wave of nausea hit him. He could still hear Markus and whoever his friend was talking as their voices carried down the hallway.

“Morning, sleeping beauty. You look like shit. I see you didn’t even bother changing out of your clothes before crashing and burning. You even have your coat still on.”

“Do you have to talk so loud, Leo? I’m right here,” Markus groaned, and the feint sound of keys jingling sounded from the entryway of the apartment.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you decided to get wasted with your new friend. Where is he anyways? I’ve been curious to meet him.”

The nausea subsided enough that Simon was able to push himself off the wall and take more steps toward the end of the hallway before peeking around the corner. A few feet away, Markus stood with his back to Simon, blocking the blonde’s view of this Leo person. Which was a bit irritating, considering Simon was sure he recognized the voice from somewhere but couldn’t place it. It was driving him up the wall trying to remember.

“Simon is in his- Oh.” As Markus turned to motion towards the room he’d just come from, Simon finally got a good look at Leo. “He’s right here.”

Both men stared at each other in horrified shock for a moment as the blood drained from their faces. The spell didn’t last long at all though. Leo dropped Markus’ keys on the ground and Simon’s hands and knees hit the floor shortly before his lunch did as well.

“Shit! Simon, are you ok?” Markus quickly crouched beside Simon and put a hand on his back in an attempt to comfort him.

The action backfired severely. Simon violently scrambled away from him until he was pressed up against the wall with tears streaming down his face and an unpleasant taste leftover in his mouth. Markus stared at him in alarm as Simon gasped for air, clearly hyperventilating, before turning to look at Leo, who also had his eyes fixed on Simon as if he couldn’t tear his gaze away, even if he tried.

“H-holy fuck. Daniel?” Leo stuttered.

“No! I don’t go by that name anymore!” Simon yelled, covering his face with his hands and pulling on his own hair. “Go away!”

His headache only got worse with the sound of his own shouting. Tugging on his own hair wasn’t helping much either, but for some reason he didn’t stop. He couldn’t even breathe right. His heart was pounding so fast, and the smell of his own vomit on the tile floor a few feet away did not improve the feeling of nausea his hangover had given him. Still, the severe anxiety attack was far worse than the consequences of his drinking. His panic was so savage that he wanted to run to the kitchen and plummet one of the steak knives Markus kept there into his chest just to escape it. The other man was blocking the way though.

“What the hell is going on?” Markus asked, looking back and forth between them anxiously. “Who is Daniel?”

“He is” Leo exclaimed, pointing at Simon in accusation.

“No! That’s not me anymore! He died! I died! You-“ Simon stopped rocking back and forth and tore his hands away from his face to shift his body in a threatening, jerky motion towards Leo to make his own accusation “You killed me!”

For once, someone that wasn’t Simon was crying. The distraught blonde watched as tears pooled in Leo’s eyes before overflowing and spilling down his face. Now they were both weeping. Did he feel guilty as he stood there, frozen in disbelief? At first Simon felt a twinge of remorse, but he couldn’t explain why. He had no reason to feel bad for someone like Leo. So instead he forced himself to try and find a bitter satisfaction in the other man’s tears and glared at him spitefully.

“Oh, no…” Markus’ voice sounded weak from beside Simon, and when he turned to look at the confusion dissipating from his face, he was surprised to see the bronze skinned man looking just as queasy as Simon had felt. “Oh, my God. No. Leo, no.” This time it was Simon’s turn to feel alarmed confusion as he watched Markus bow his head into his hands and curl in on himself.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Leo kept repeating those words over and over, his voice so small that even Simon felt bad for him.

_“No! He’s one of the ones that did **this** to you,” _his mind screamed at him, forcing the horrific image of his own beaten and bloodied body printed in the news article that detective Reed had shown him into his head. _“He doesn’t deserve your pity!”_

Unable to cope with the conflicting, yet overwhelming emotions he held concerning Leo, Simon instead ignored him to focus on the other man caught in the middle of all of this. He had been filled with absolute dread at the way Markus seemed to have come to some sort of ugly realization.

“You…” Simon’s voice was uneven and cracked. “What do you know?”

Slowly, Markus raised his head and peeked up at Simon through his fingers. The pained, apologetic expression in his beautiful eyes was all it took to confirm Simon’s fears. He knew. Simon didn’t know how long he’d known or how much, but apparently it was enough.

“Simon…” Markus tone was so gentle, and _so_ pleading.

But Simon couldn’t.

“Simon…”

He slowly pushed himself up the wall on shaky legs until he was standing.

“Simon.”

He forced himself to tear his gaze away from those gorgeous, intense green and blue eyes that pierced through him like daggers.

“Simon!”

He pushed Leo out of the way, causing the other man to stumble a bit, but otherwise, not having to deal with any resistance from him.

Then he ran.

He didn’t know where he would go, nor did he care. All he knew was that he had to get away from Markus’s voice shouting and begging him not to leave. He had to hide from the devastated, broken look in Leo’s eyes. He had to run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I know Daniel is a completely different character with his own personality, and trust me, I didn't really like the idea of taking away his individuality by merging his character into Simon's own. However, for this particular fic, it fit the narrative better this way. As much as I love Daniel and Simon being twins, I felt like I had to try and do something to de-saturate my universe of twins/triplets/etc, because DBH makes it so easy to get carried away with that when there are so many characters that look alike due to different androids sharing the same design. Besides, Simon having at least one or two different fake identities makes a lot of sense considering his past in this AU. Also, I expect a lot of you already saw this coming, so hopefully no one will be too upset by it. It kinda sucked that I had to do it, but in this fic, it's just the way things are. So, now that I've cleared the air of that, enjoy all those feels this chapter probably hurt you with. It certainly hurt me to write it. (Why am I like this?)


	30. Everything Comes to Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Silly me thought I could include way more in this chapter than I was able to and it's still longer than most of my chapters tend to be, even when I had to leave a bunch of stuff for next chapter. I may have to turn this into a series because everything is turning out to be longer than I intended. Which means this may end up being a 'part 1' and will be coming to an end soon, if I can find a good place to cap it and start on a 'part 2' that will likely be equally as lengthy. x_x Writing is hard.

Simon was only vaguely aware of the sound of Markus’ voice fading further and further away as he ran. His emotions were too overwhelming for him to be capable of focusing on the other man calling for him. He took the stairs two by two, his surroundings nothing more than a blur as he burst out of the doors of the apartment building before running blindly into the street. A car narrowly avoided hitting him as it slammed on it’s breaks and honked at Simon, but only barely registered in the midst of his panic attack. Without any direction, Simon just spun around a few times helplessly in the middle of the road before taking off in a random direction.

He didn’t know where he was going, all he knew was that he had to get away. But eventually he made it far enough that it gave him time to come back to reality some. His head was still throbbing in pain as he glanced around, trying to figure out where he was. Long legs slowed down only a little, but never stopped as Simon wrapped his arms around himself to guard from the cold and took in his surroundings.

Josh didn’t live too far from here. Yes, Simon could go to Josh. He’d always provided a reliable hiding place for Simon in the past. Simon could trust him. He could tell him anything and everything. Josh was safe.

Simon headed in the direction of Josh’s home, trying to ignore the annoying sound of his phone vibrating in his pocket with notifications. The noises happened every few seconds and didn’t seem to be letting up, making Simon’s headache worse. He refused to check his phone though. It was undoubtedly Markus trying to get ahold of him and Simon just couldn’t handle speaking to the other man right now. He needed to get to Josh.

Finally, the small rental house came into view, and Simon wasted no time in running up to the front door and pounding on it frantically. “Josh! Josh, I need you, please!”

Simon collapsed against the door with his fist still raised above his head as he sobbed against it, silently praying Josh was inside. Thankfully, he heard sounds coming from the other side before the door handle jiggled. Simon quickly pushed himself off of the door in time for Josh to open it. The taller man didn’t even have time to say anything before Simon tackled him in a distraught embrace, nearly knocking Josh over in the process. The two of them stumbled inside, Simon refusing to let go as he sobbed against the other male’s shoulder.

“Simon, what’s wrong? What happened?” Josh asked, closing the door behind them, and looking down at the blonde in alarm.

“One of the men who- who almost killed me… I saw them and-” Simon looked up at Josh heartbroken. “And now Markus knows I’m nothing but a damaged whore!”

There was both concern and confusion on Josh’s face as he looked into Simon’s tearful eyes and saw complete despair there. An ebony colored hand reached up and cradled Simon’s head back into Josh’s shoulder as the taller man walked them over towards the sofa and sat the blonde down. He allowed Simon to cry for only a few more seconds before patting his back and pulling away from their hug to look him in the eye again.

“Start from the beginning,” he instructed gently.

Simon took a few deep breaths before going into detail about how Markus had offered him a place to stay. How he’d been nervous at first but accepted and had now been living with the man for about a week. He included how he’d gotten a job as Alice’s babysitter and how Markus had helped him with the first night taking care of her.

The devastating news about seeing his parents again and finding out he had a sister was also mentioned, and Simon made special emphasis on how Markus had helped him through it and relayed everything he could remember about the special moment they’d shared in the hallway. How much it had meant to him and how he was finally willing to try and open up to Markus and trust him. He also included how his feelings for Markus had grown stronger and how terrified he was that Markus might not feel the same way and was always confusing Simon.

“Last night he took me to a bar to try and make me feel better, and I can’t remember much of it at all. But when I woke up this morning, he was right there with me in bed,” Simon explained.

“Wait, he was in bed with you? Did you two…?” Josh questioned, not even having to say it for Simon to know what he meant.

“I don’t know, I can’t remember. We were both still fully clothed, so I don’t think so but… I don’t know. He seemed upset that I couldn’t remember though, like something significant had happened between us. And he wasn’t as considerate about not touching me as he usually is.”

When Josh said nothing, only giving him a concerned look, Simon continued. “He was about to tell me what happened when Leo, one of the gang members that was there when I was beaten nearly to death, and apparently the son of Markus’ favorite client- He showed up and we saw each other and that’s when everything fell apart.

“Markus was confused at first, so he must not know everything. But eventually he seemed to understand enough that I’m sure he knows I was a prostitute. I don’t know if I was stupid enough to tell him while I was drunk or if Leo had told him about what he and his friends did to me. But the way he looked at me…” Simon’s face contorted as what little composure he’d managed to gain shattered again and he began to ugly cry.

Josh frowned and offered Simon a box of tissues, watching the blonde take at least six and wad them up to hide his face behind. “If you planned on eventually telling him the truth anyways, why are you upset that he knows?” the taller man asked.

Simon abruptly stopped sobbing to peek up at his friend, though hiccupped once or twice as he stared dumbly at Josh. It was true, he’d promised in the hallway of Kara’s home that he would start opening up to Markus. But he really had hoped to do so gradually and would have preferred for it to happen in literally _any_ other way. Meeting Leo face to face and finding out that one of the men who had beaten, fucked, and dumped his body, was essentially a family friend to the man Simon was falling in love with was not at all the best way for _anyone_ to have the news broken to them.

“I just didn’t want him to find out like this,” Simon finally mumbled in reply.

“I know it wasn’t ideal, but your phone hasn’t stopped blowing up since you got here and I’m pretty sure he wants to talk to you. That seems like something someone would only do if they still cared about you, even after knowing what you’ve been through.” Josh nodded his head towards the pocket of Simon’s jeans, where his phone continued to make pinging noises and vibrate periodically. “Maybe you should check your messages.”

Throwing Josh a reluctant look, Simon finally let out a shaky breath before timidly reaching down and pulling the cellphone out of his pocket. He unlocked the screen to see a staggering amount of text message notifications, as well as at least six missed calls. If he had ever bothered to set up his voicemail inbox, Simon was sure that would be full as well. Simon cleared the notifications before opening the text message app. Sure enough, every single one of them was from Markus.

_ “Simon, please come back.” _

_ “Where did you go?” _

_ “Please answer me.” _

_ “I just want to talk. Please, Simon.” _

_ “I’m so worried about you.” _

_ “Answer me, please, Simon.” _

_ “I’m not mad at you, I promise.” _

_ “I’m looking everywhere for you. Please come back, Simon.” _

_ “I can explain everything if you’ll just give me the chance.” _

_ “Simon, I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave.” _

_ “I need you, Simon. Come back.” _

_ “Please tell me where you are. I need to talk to you.” _

_ “I’ll do anything, just please answer me.” _

_ “Please don’t leave me, Simon. I need you.” _

There were several more, all saying similar things. Eventually Simon couldn’t take reading any more of them and just turned off his phone’s screen and held it against his chest. A few more tears fell from his eyes as he stared silently at the floor and tried to process all those texts from Markus.

Josh was right, Markus still seemed to care for Simon, despite knowing the truth. He cared a great deal more than Simon would have ever expected, judging by the content and sheer number of his messages. The problem was that Simon couldn’t understand _why_.

“What if he only still cares about me because he doesn’t know as much as I thought he did? Maybe he doesn’t get it, and when I tell him it will suddenly make sense, and then he’ll hate me,” Simon whispered, still staring down blankly.

“I highly doubt it, but if that turns out to be the case then he’s a jerk that doesn’t deserve you anyways,” Josh countered. “You promised you’d tell him. You have to do it eventually. Why don’t you call him and find out for yourself before assuming the worst?”

Simon tore his blue hues from the floor to look at his friend. He was terrified to follow Josh’s advice, but he knew he was right. He had to talk to Markus. Closing his eyes for a moment and taking a long, deep breath, Simon steeled his nerves before looking down at his phone again and selecting Markus from the small list of his contacts and pressing the call button.

The phone barely had time to ring once before Markus’ frantic voice sounded from the other side of the call. “Simon! Thank god, please tell me you are ok. Where are you? Please let me talk to you. I don’t want to lose you, please don’t leave. Simon, I’ll do anythi-“

“Markus…” Simon’s voice interrupted him but was still so soft it was barely more than a whisper. Still, it accomplished the task of silencing Markus and the other man waited for more without another word. “If I give you an address, will you come to me?”

“Yes! Of course, I’ll come to you, Simon. Whatever you need.” Markus still seemed to be struggling to stay calm but at least there was some relief in his tone.

Simon gave him Josh’s address and Markus assured him he would be there in a few moments. He made Simon promise to stay put until he arrived before reluctantly hanging up. Then there was nothing but dead air and a knot twisting itself up in Simon’s stomach.

“It’ll be ok,” Josh reassured.

There was nothing more than a weak nod of his head in reply from Simon. The two of them sat in awkward silence for several minutes. Even though those minutes seemed to stretch on like hours, Simon was still surprised at how soon the doorbell rang. He looked up anxiously, but allowed Josh to be the one to answer.

As the door was pulled open, Simon saw Markus shifting his weight back and forth on the balls of his feet impatiently. His heterochromatic eyes were full of worry as he threw Josh a confused glance before looking right past him without a word in search of Simon. It didn’t take long for his gaze to land on the blonde and the moment they made eye contact, Markus lunged forward as if to run to Simon. Josh pushed a hand against Markus’ chest to stop him though, stepping between him and Simon protectively.

“Hold up there, Turbo. I know you are in a hurry to talk to Simon, but he’s hurting an awful lot right now and I need to make sure you aren’t going to make it worse before I let you in.” Simon was a bit shocked to see Josh refusing Markus entry, especially when he was the one that suggest Simon talk to him, but didn’t say anything as he watched from the sofa.

“But I-“ Markus started but Josh cut him off.

“Yes, I can see that you’re quite excited. But it’s exactly that kind of emotional recklessness that could upset Simon more. You see, he’s a very dear friend of mine and I care an awful lot about his wellbeing, so I’m not going to let anyone hurt him any more than he already has been. I think he’s had his heart kicked around enough to last a life time, so if you want a chance to be let into it, you’ve got to prove to me that you will treat it carefully before I let you talk to him.” Josh spoke firmly, impressing both Markus, and Simon.

Markus took a step back, nodding his head meekly. “You’re right, and the last thing I want to do is hurt Simon. I’ll stay calm. It’s just so important that I talk to him.”

Simon watched as Markus used that same pleading pout on Josh that made the blonde weak. He found it a bit amusing, knowing that it likely wouldn’t have the same effect on his friend. Sure enough, just as expected, Josh only folded his arms under his chest and stared at Markus suspiciously. It was only when the freckled man added an unsure “please?” that Josh finally stepped aside to let him in. Though, the taller man still kept his arms folded and watched Markus enter the house with narrowed eyes.

Not a word was spoken, not even by Simon, as Markus moved towards him. He could tell that the other man was struggling to keep himself from rushing as he took careful, apprehensive steps until reaching the sofa. He then lowered himself down onto the cushions across from Simon, keeping purposeful eye contact with the blonde through every move. Simon could see the same look in Markus’ eyes that he’d had when asking him to move in; the cogs turning as he searched for the best way to start whatever it was he wanted to say. The first thing to come out of his mouth was not at all what Simon would have imagined as a beginning to their conversation.

“Will you count down from ten with me?”

“What?” Despite Simon’s confusion, there was a sudden tugging feeling in his head as the words pulled at some buried memory.

“I know it feels silly, but…” Markus anxiously held his hand out to Simon. “You don’t have to do it alone. Just trust me. Please?”

Simon looked at Markus with uncertain baby blues, but slowly reached back to take his hand. “Ok.”

Josh watched with quiet curiosity from across the room as the two started to count backwards.

“10”

“9”

“8”

Why was this so familiar to Simon?

“7”

“6”

The memory slowly started to return as Markus’ voice played in his head. _“You know, it’s a New Year’s tradition that you are supposed to kiss someone at midnight.”_

“5”

Simon’s voice faltered, sinking to a whisper and lagging behind Markus’ by a few milliseconds.

“4”

The memory started off blurry around the edges, like the filters they used on cameras for soft, nostalgic scenes in movies.

“3”

The more he remembered the feelings of disbelief, and hope, and desire, the stronger those feelings got and the clearer the image in his head became.

“2”

Simon drew in a sharp breath and gripped Markus’ hand tighter as he became lightheaded.

“1”

Markus finished the final number in the count down alone, as Simon was too focused on the memory that had returned to him to say it with him.

“You and I...” Simon struggled to speak, breathless and in shock. “We kissed.”

Even though his smile was small and gentle, it still somehow lit up his entire face as Markus nodded his head in confirmation. “We did. I knew you were pretty drunk at the time, and I didn’t want to take advantage of you, but I hoped you would remember. I know a lot of things happened last night that you probably won’t ever be able to recall, but I’m glad you were able to bring back that memory. Because…” Markus furrowed his eyebrows and gave another small pout. “I need you to know that it’s the most important thing that happened to me last night. You should know what else happened too. But keep that in mind.”

It was hard for Simon to know what to feel. His head, which was still very unhappy with him for last night’s drinking, was having a hard time deciding what part of Markus’ words to focus on and process. He wanted Simon to remember the kiss. It was important to him. That meant he had romantic feelings for Simon too. Didn’t it? But Markus also seemed like he needed to tell Simon more, and by the sounds of it, it didn’t seem like it was going to be pleasant to hear.

“After we kissed, we kept drinking and went to a club and danced a bit and drank some more and… well, you and I were both pretty drunk by the end of it. When we started to walk home, we passed by a police station.” Simon didn’t like where this was going but kept listening to Markus as he continued to explain. “We ran into someone you apparently knew; A police officer named Hank.”

Simon’s face paled.

“You asked him for help getting your friends out of a bad situation. I didn’t understand what was going on, but Hank agreed to help if you would call him later today, once you were sober. Then he drove us home. On the way he told me some things about you that I know you’ve been hiding from me.”

More tears welled up in Simon’s eyes. Always with the tears. God, Simon hated crying.

“I know you used to be a male prostitute. I know you never wanted to be, and it wasn’t your choice, you were forced into it. And I also know that you only got away from that life because the person that made you do it thought you died. It wasn’t until you and Leo met in the hallway that I realized exactly how you tricked your employer into thinking you were dead.”

Simon curled in on himself and shut his eyes tight, as if that would make it all go away.

“Leo confessed to me what he’d done a while ago, back before I knew it was you. He told me how much he regretted it. He was running with a gang that he wished he’d never been a part of. He told me how they bought you for valentines day and how the others started to get rough with you. Leo said he was scared for you and tried to stop them.”

Simon’s eyes opened and he stared blankly at the floor. It had been a very long time since he’d entertained the memory of what happened to him that night. But he forced himself to look back now, and when he did, Markus was right. He remembered Leo shouting at the other men to leave him alone. He even tried to push them off of Simon and received a nasty right hook to the jaw for it. In hindsight, Simon couldn’t even blame Leo for cowering in the corner and watching helplessly when the others showed they were willing to turn on him for trying to stop them. After seeing his friends do what they did to Simon, he couldn’t imagine Leo would have been stupid enough to try and intervene again. It only would have earned him the same fate. 

“He knows it was wrong of him to hire a prostitute and he regrets letting the other gang members hurt you. Leo told me not a day goes by that he doesn’t hate himself for it. But he’s made so much progress since then.

“When he saw what those people did to you, he left the gang. He got help for his drug addiction and he’s been sober ever since. He’s kept out of trouble with the law. He repaired the damaged relationship he had with his father and now he visits Carl all the time, and they laugh and talk and love each other. Please Simon, I know you have every right not to, but if you could find it in you to forgive him… He’s not a bad person. He just made some really stupid decisions that he’s been working so hard to repair ever since.”

There was a moment of silence before Simon finally answered. “I didn’t want to. I tried to fight it. To stay angry. But in the end, I can’t help it.” Simon looked up at Markus with sad eyes. “I already forgave him.”

“You did?” Markus asked, rubbing small circles against Simon’s hand with his thumb and reminding Simon that they were still holding hands.

“A part of me knew the moment I saw him again that he never wanted to hurt me.” Simon sighed, glancing to the side. “I mean, did you see him? He was just as scared as I was.”

Markus gave a soft, sympathetic chuckle. “If it makes you feel any better, I made him clean the floor before I left. It’s not much, but maybe it’s a step towards paying you back for what happened to you.”

Simon knew he was trying to lighten the mood, but only shook his head. Leo didn’t need to pay him back for what happened. The only thing Simon had wanted since the moment it took place was to leave it in the past and forget it. Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to be happening for him, no matter how hard he tried to bury it.

Sniffing and using the tissues Josh had handed him earlier, Simon wiped the tears from his face before glancing over at his friend to see how he was taking all of this. Unsurprisingly, Josh had been leaning against the wall, watching them with acute interest, but remaining completely quiet for the entire duration of Simon and Markus’ conversation. It was only when Simon acknowledged him that he unfolded his arms and took a step towards them.

“You said that cop was willing to help Simon get his friends out of the prostitution ring, right?” Josh asked Markus.

“Oh, right! Simon, you have to call Hank. I promised him I would make you follow through with it.” Markus said before removing his hand from Simon’s and holding a finger up. “Before you do though, I think we should try and get rid of our hangovers. I brought this for you.”

A dusky hand reached into Markus’ coat pocket before pulling out a water bottle and handing it to Simon. The blonde took it gratefully, unscrewing the lid and chugging nearly half the bottle in the time it took Markus to pull another bottle out of the pocket on the opposite side of his coat and begin drinking it himself.

“I’ll get you two love birds some more,” Josh said in an amused tone before walking out of the room towards the kitchen to fetch them more water.

Simon watched Josh retreat from view before glancing back at Markus nervously. “So, you know that I was a…” He lowered his gaze to the floor, unable to finish the sentence and just skipping it to get to the next part. “But you said kissing me was still the most important thing that happened to you last night. Is that because…?” Simon looked back up at Markus with a good measure of shyness, but not enough to hold back his curiosity.

Markus stopped drinking from his water bottle and furrowed his eyebrows, looking like he wanted to say something but was unsure if he should. Apparently, he decided to throw caution to the wind though, and eventually answered Simon. It was a good thing Simon was sitting when he spoke, otherwise he was fairly certain Markus’ words would have knocked him off his feet.

“It’s because I love you, Simon.”

The blonde clutched the plastic water bottle in his hand so tightly that it crinkled and was partially crushed. Thankfully, it was half empty, so no water came spilling out of the top. Still, Markus took note of the action, as well as the astonished look on Simon’s face and shifted nervously in his seat.

“I mean, I know a lot of people would say it’s way too early to be saying that. It’s just that I…” Markus looked like he was about to give more excuses but instead said, “You know what, I don’t care what other people think. I know what I’m feeling and I’m not going to pretend that I don’t. I’ve fallen in love with you, Simon.”

Markus looked so determined and absolute in his conviction that it was almost comical. Though, Simon was sure his own dumbfounded expression was equally as laughable.

“You… what?” Simon stuttered.

“He said he loves you, stupid.” Josh had appeared behind the couch, holding two more water bottles and a couple snack size bags of potato chips for each of them.

Simon threw Josh a bewildered look before looking back at Markus. “You can’t love me. You don’t even know me.”

“Yes I do. I know you were the only person staying at that homeless shelter that was willing to help provide for the rest. I know you were brave enough to move in with a complete stranger just because I asked you to pose for paintings that I haven’t even gotten around to yet. I know you were kicked out of your parents house at the age of fourteen and are badass enough to have survived on the streets ever since. I know you are an amazing cook and fantastic with kids. I know you get cute and silly when you are drunk. And you’re a fantastic dancer, by the way.

“You are the most selfless, compassionate, and courageous person I know, Simon. And I love you.” Markus had a tone of finality in his voice and gave a firm nod of his head for emphasis.

It sounded like Markus had given this some serious thought. Simon simply stared at him stupidly. How was he supposed to argue with that?

“He loves you too, Markus. He’s just too stubborn to admit it.” Simon threw Josh a grumpy look, but his friend only added another comment that made him blush. “You should have heard him gushing about you when he came to me a few days ago. He went on and on about how handsome you are and how amazing your art is. He’s hopelessly in love.”

“Shut up, Josh!” Simon hissed and threw the bag of potato chips he’d just been handed back at the taller man angrily.

Josh just laughed at him and caught the snack in his hands. Simon scowled at him with red cheeks before stealing a timid glance at Markus. The look on his freckled face suggested that he was far too pleased with himself. Markus grinned from ear to ear and his chest puffed out as he drew in a deep breath through his nose that sounded like it’s only purpose was to keep him from squealing in delight.

God, Simon really did love this idiot.


	31. Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I did end up deciding to break the story into two parts (at least! This is turning out to be so much longer than I anticipated when I started it, so who knows if it will continue to surprise me by NEVER ENDING. Hoo-boi. Ahem, anyways.) So, this is the end of part 1. I will be starting part 2 very shortly, I'm not even gonna take a break between the two, so don't worry, I'm not leaving you guys hanging. 
> 
> Besides that, this chapter does include more heavy subject matter, so I want to be sure to give you guys a head's up. As always, I tried to be very tasteful about it and avoid anything too graphic. It is very emotional though. Hopefully in a healing way rather than an upsetting way.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: attempted suicide.

After drinking a _lot_ of water and eating a small snack that Josh had provided for them, Simon was feeling much better, and Markus appeared to be as well. Now Simon just felt physically exhausted and emotionally drained. He just wanted to go home and sleep, then deal with the rest later. He knew he and Markus still had a lot left to talk about and, apparently, he had promised to call Lieutenant Anderson. Both of those things, each their own, would probably end up being a bit of a lengthy process though, so Simon was hoping he could put them off until he’d rested some. Thankfully, Markus agreed and suggested they head back home and catch up on sleep before tackling any further issues.

Josh ended up giving them a ride back, since Markus had apparently gone looking for Simon on foot. It seemed both of them had walked there. Or rather, ran. Markus even made a comment that suggested he had gone the opposite direction quite a ways before turning around and searching closer to where Simon had actually gone.

It made the blonde feel a bit guilty that he’d put Markus through that, but he assured Simon that he would have turned the entire city upside down to find him. That didn’t really take away any of Simon’s guilt, but it did feel rather nice to know that he meant so much to Markus. Though, he still wasn’t sure he could understand why. Even after Markus had confessed his love, Simon couldn’t quite believe it.

That just wasn’t how Simon’s life worked. He never had good things happen to him, much less something so perfect that it was exactly everything he wanted. Simon was convinced that fate only let good things happen to him if they could be used against him later.

He felt the weight of anxiety settle in his stomach again as he sat in the back seat with his head resting on Markus’ shoulder, holding his hand and watching the snow start to fall outside the car window while Josh drove them back to their apartment. All three men had fallen silent after a while, mostly due to Markus and Simon both being so tired. The quiet was good for thinking, and sometimes that was wonderful for Simon, but sometimes his brain did what it was doing now and let doubts seep in and complicate things too much.

His mind began to take him down a dark path, constructing an elaborate series of imaginary scenarios, detailing just how horribly wrong things could go. Just as he felt despair taking hold again, he felt Markus shift to pull him closer and give his hand a few gentle squeezes. It was only then that Simon realized he had been grasping the other man so tightly that his fingers were cramping, and he was probably crushing Markus’ hand in his own.

Quickly relaxing his grip, Simon shifted his head on Markus’ shoulder to look up at him nervously. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Markus simply gave him a gentle smile. “It’s alright, Simon. No need to apologize.”

His voice was soft and reassuring. Somehow it chased all of Simon’s fears away like they were nothing, and in that moment, as he looked into Markus’ emerald and sapphire eyes, he felt safer than he’d felt in years. Possibly safer than he’d felt in his entire life. Like he was _home._

“Josh was wrong.” Simon’s comment made his friend glance back at him curiously from the rearview mirror, but the other two men were too lost in each other’s eyes to pay him any mind. “I’m not too stubborn to admit it. I love you too, Markus.”

The gentle smile on Markus’ lips grew wider, and he leaned closer to place a soft kiss on Simon’s forehead before resting against it with his own. It was the most peaceful feeling in the world. Simon closed his eyes and wished for the moment to never end. But, sadly, it did.

The car pulled up alongside the curb and Josh shifted the gears to park before turning back in his seat to look at them. “I hate to break up the moment. You two are so adorable. But you both need some rest, and I think you’d be more comfortable cuddling inside your apartment than in the back of my car.”

“Thanks, man. I appreciate it,” Markus chuckled and pulled away from Simon to offer his hand to Josh.

“No problem.” Josh grasped it firmly and let Markus clap his shoulder with his other hand before adding, “Just take good care of Simon.”

“I will,” Markus promised.

Josh then turned to Simon. “Keep me updated on the situation with your friends and the police. If there’s any way I can help, I want you to let me know. Ok?”

Simon nodded his head in reply. “Thank you, Josh. For everything.”

“Of course. Now get inside where you can make doe eyes at your new boyfriend in privacy so I can go home,” Josh teased.

Simon twisted his lips into a smirk before leaning forward to give Josh an awkward side hug around the seat. He was sure to flick the other man in the shoulder for poking fun at Simon before pulling away and getting out of the car. Both Markus and Simon waved goodbye over their shoulder before heading inside the building and letting Josh drive away. Once they were in the foyer, Markus led Simon into the elevator and pushed the button for their floor before turning to look at him.

“Leo was still pretty upset when I left. I doubt he went to work after cleaning up the floor. He’s probably still freaking out inside our apartment,” he explained. “Are you going to be ok seeing him again?”

Simon drew in a deep breath but nodded his head. “I’ll be alright. I need to talk to him anyways. Tell him that I don’t hold what happened against him. That I forgive him.”

Despite how nervous Simon was to see Leo again, he needed to do this. It was as important for him as it was for Leo to get that closure. Markus seemed to understand this and gave Simon a reassuring smile before offering a dusky hand to take. Simon accepted it and held on tightly to the other man as they exited the elevator and approached their unit together.

Another deep breath was drawn in and slowly released as Markus unlocked the door and pushed it open. Simon didn’t immediately see Leo, so let go of Markus’ hand and took a few steps inside. He glanced around the living room and down the hallway in search of him, but still saw nothing.

“Leo?” Markus called from behind Simon, stepping into the apartment as well before closing the door. When there was no reply, he furrowed his eyebrows and frowned. “I guess I was wrong. Maybe he did leave to go to work.”

Simon threw a doubtful glance back at Markus, but in the process, his eyes snagged sight of a white square on the kitchen table and he took a double take at the slip of paper. He was sure the table had been clear before they left home last night. Out of curiosity, Simon wandered into the kitchen to get a closer look at the page. Markus silently followed behind, watching Simon look down at the sloppy handwriting that was blotched in a couple places by what appeared to be drops of water.

_ “Hey, Daniel. Or Simon. I don’t know which is right to use. But I’m sorry. I know I fucked up real bad and there’s nothing I can ever do to fix it or make it right. I just hope that you can believe me when I tell you that I never wanted to hurt you, or anybody. It seems to be the only thing I’m good at though. All I ever do is fuck things up. That’s why I’ve got to put an end to it. When you read this, can you let Markus know that I’m glad he can act as a better son to my Dad than I ever could? Tell him to take care of the old man for me. I know he will anyways, but tell him thank you for me. I’m sorry for what I did to you. I know it’s not enough, but maybe with me gone, you can finally be alright. You deserve to be happy, and I really mean that. I hope you can live a good life with Markus. I know he’ll take care of you too. Tell him goodbye for me. _

_-Leo”_

The further he read, the more dread Simon felt building up inside of him. By the time he reached the bottom of the page, he was just as panicked as he had been when he first saw Leo, but for a completely different reason now. Without a moment’s hesitation, Simon tore himself from where he’d been standing and rushed out of the kitchen. He had to blink back tears as he ran to check the bedrooms and bathrooms in case Leo might have tried something horrible in one of those rooms and was still there.

“Simon, what is it? What’s going on?” Markus called from the kitchen, still having not read the letter yet.

Simon couldn’t form the words to reply, he was too busy searching desperately for signs of Leo. None of the other rooms showed any signs of him though, so Simon ran back to the kitchen. He found Markus with the suicide note in hand, his eyes rapidly darting back and forth as he read it.

“Oh no… Leo, no.” His hands shook before dropping the page as he looked at Simon in fear.

“Does this building have roof access?” The words tumbled out of Simon’s mouth quickly. There was no time to waste on processing the shock. Not if there was a chance Leo was still alive.

“Y-yes,” Markus answered, looking a little confused. “It’s that door by the stairwell on the right.”

Simon didn’t even wait for Markus to finish the sentence before he hurried out of the apartment unit and through the hallway of the top floor. He rushed directly to the door Markus had described and yanked it open before running up the steps that led to the roof outside. It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the brightness of the light gray sky as fat snowflakes slowly fell and settled in his lashes, forcing him to blink them away. But sure enough, once his vision cleared, Simon found what he was looking for.

Sitting on the cold concrete with his legs dangling off the ledge and looking down at the sidewalk five stories below, Leo held a lighter up to a cigarette sticking out from between his teeth. His back was turned to Simon, but the blonde could still see that his hands were shaking as he lit the tip of the orange and white stick and set the lighter down on the ledge next to him. A ragged breath released a plume of smoke into the air and Simon heard a few soft sniffles as Leo pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and wiped the tears from his face with his coat sleeve.

“Leo…” Simon kept his voice soft as he took a few cautious steps forward. “Please don’t do this.”

The brunette turned his head to look over his shoulder at Simon. His eyes were red and puffy from crying. He looked so scared. So hopeless and lost. Raising the cigarette to his mouth for another drag, Leo then wiped his face with the back of his hand again before shifting his body slightly to get a better look at Simon. He still had one leg hanging over the side of the building.

“How did you know where to find me?” he asked in a cracked voice.

“… Sometimes my mind takes me to dark places too,” Simon answered vaguely. “But that doesn’t mean it has to take either of us to the end.”

Leo looked away, staring back down at the fall before glancing at the cigarette in his hands. “You know, at first I thought of going back to my old supplier and shooting up. I thought maybe overdosing would be a more pleasant way to go. But then I remembered my Dad, and Markus. I didn’t want the last thing I ever did to be breaking my promise to them to stay clean.” Leo smiled weakly at Simon and made him wonder how an action that was supposed to signal happiness could hold so much sorrow. “I don’t want to mess up again. It’s all I ever do. I’m just one big fuck up.”

“No…” Simon shook his head and took another careful step forward. “No, Leo. You aren’t. Your father and Markus, they don’t think of you that way. They are proud of you. Markus told me how far you’ve come, how you got clean and left the gang, how you have been doing everything you can to fix things and make them right again.”

Tears fell from Leo’s eyes and he let them fall back to stare at the ground again. “It’s never enough.”

“Yes, it is,” Simon said firmly. “It’s enough for your father to still love you. It’s enough for Markus to come find me so he could ask me to forgive you, because he thinks you are still a good person. And…” Leo looked back up at him with wide eyes as Simon took another slow step towards him with his hand outstretched. “And it’s enough for me to be here right now, begging you not to take your own life, even after what happened. Because you _are_ a good person, Leo.

“I was scared when I saw you. It brought back memories that I didn’t ever want to relive. But once I had time to process them, I remembered what you did for me. How you stood up to your friends to try and protect me. You even got hurt trying to stop them. You did everything in your power to try and keep them from doing something horrible, and it’s not your fault that you were only human and couldn’t save me.”

“But I still hurt you. I payed to-“ Simon shook his head again and stopped Leo from going any further.

“You made a mistake. Everyone does. But unlike the other’s that hurt me that night, you realized what you’d done and learned from it. You did your best to make amends and you haven’t made the same mistakes since. That’s more than enough for the people that love you. It’s enough for me.” Simon had edged close enough now that all Leo had to do was reach back and take his hand, but he still seemed hesitant.

“Leo, _you_ are enough. Everything you’ve been through, you overcame. Do you realize how amazing that is? How much strength it takes to do that? Not many people can accomplish what you have. Believe me. As a prostitute, I’ve seen enough low life’s and pitiful people down at rock bottom to know that few are capable of ever coming back from that. But _you_ did. Your life is worth living. Please,” Simon pleaded, “take my hand. You don’t have to go through this alone. There are people that love you. I know Markus would die for you. Your father loves you dearly and wants you to be happy. And I…” Simon, took in a sharp breath, trying to hold back his own tears now.

“I want you to be happy too, Leo. I want you to live so I can get to know you, and maybe even become your friend if you’ll let me. Just take my hand.”

Finally, Leo reached back and grasped Simon’s fingers tightly. Simon quickly gripped his hand and held on to him securely before pulling Leo up into his arms and away from the ledge. The shorter man didn’t resist as Simon cradled his head against his shoulder in a firm embrace.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Leo repeated the words over and over as Simon shushed him. “It’s ok. I forgive you. You’re safe now. Everything will be alright, I promise.”

Simon continued to sway slightly in comforting back and forth motions as he glanced back towards the roof access door. There, standing just at the top of the stairs, was Markus, watching with a look of shocked awe on his face. Simon simply let go of Leo with one arm to hold a hand in invitation to the other man. Quietly, Markus walked towards them before wrapping his arms around Leo as well.

The snow continued to fall in a gentle flurry around them, muffling the sounds of the city and adding to the surrealness of everything that had happened. There was still so much Simon had yet to deal with. So many obstacles he still had to overcome, just like Leo had. But in that moment, he felt an odd sense of peace and took comfort in knowing that he wasn’t alone. He had so many people looking out for him, and that was enough to reassure him that he would make it through. He could fix things, just like Leo had.

Most importantly, he had Markus now. Someone that loved him. Someone he could always return to. Someone that was safe. Everything would be alright, because he had a home now. Markus was his home.

\----- --- -----

Something thrown together by the wonderful Disterra! She's such an amazing artist. Thank you so much to her for this gift and to all my readers! Part 2 will be coming soon, so stay tuned.

**Author's Note:**

> One of the greatest motivators for me as a writer is getting feedback, so if you read this, liked it and want more, please leave a comment! I'd love to hear from you! I take compliments as well as CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Thanks!
> 
> Also, per the request of one of my readers through the comments, I have constructed a youtube playlist of songs relating to each chapter of the story. One song per-chapter, in order. I will continue adding to the playlist as I add chapters, and I may edit it and replace songs every now and then because I am very indecisive, lol. But It's linked [here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0hs_8jQEFcIeacLRahh0tEokQbCTMzZn) if you'd like to listen. I'm always open to suggestions for additions to it.


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